READ OUR POWER RANKINGS. WE TELL YOU ABOUT EACH TEAM, THE WILD SHAMROCK WAY. WE THROW CONVENTION OUT THE WINDOW SINCE THE NFL IS SO WATERED DOWN. IT’S A FREE FOR ALL. WE MIGHT JUST BE RIGHT.

OUR FIRST POWER RANKINGS OF THE SEASON. I HOPE YOU ENJOY

RANKING TEAM                  Record             comments

#1.  PHILADELPHIA     8-1     Does Donavan McNabb understand the overtime rules yet from his playing days?  Stellar defense/ adding Jay Ajari gives their back field a thunder & lighting combo with smoking Blount. I want a team of all guys from the Dakotas like the Eagles Quarterback. Can you imagine the supply of chewing tobacco and spitoons you would need on the side lines?

#2.  LA RAMS               6-2    How pissed I would be if I lived in St. Louis right now. Oh they are texting each other WTF. They need to bring back Fred Dryer and make a new Hunter. Maybe bring him back as a coach. Rams are for real. They are firing on all cylinders. Goff is making Buffalo reject receivers look like all pros.

#3.  NEW ENGLAND     6-2  WHY CAN’T THIS TEAM GO AWAY!!! Brady is still a menace. Maybe Bill Romanowski has giving his secret case of vitamins to Brady to keep him performing at this kind of level. Sammy Sosa called them Flintstones Vitamins. With Belichek scheming in his sleep, he gets that defense into shape. Bunch of bastards.

#4. DALLAS    5-3     OH MY GOD!! I HAVE TO SAY IT,  HOW ABOUT THOSE COWBOYS? Will their running back ever serve his suspension.? He probably still would play even if he’s wearing McFadden’s jersey. Cowboys are looking well balanced and playing some excellent  football. I say Jerry Jones and the Commissioner battle it out to the death in the Thunder dome since both them are not getting along.

#5.  PITTSBURGH  6-2  They need home field advantage in playoffs. Do not trust them on the road. They seem to have figured out what to do on the National Anthem so that will help. They have to put a muzzle on their bitchy receivers. At least they have some bitches playing that position, not like the ding dongs in Chicago.

#6.   KANSAS CITY      6-3    Zack on Saved by the Bell says time out and Kansas City can enjoy a bye week. They have plenty of work to do because they’ve been free falling like the great Tom Petty would say   I’m giving these guys a high ranking still because the Walrus Andy Reid will get them playing strong when they return from their bye week. They are a team that will string six to seven in a row like how they started the season.

#7.  NEW ORLEANS  6-2   The Saints are marching right now. They have a thing called a defense.  Is Bounty gate back ? They found some ballers that can play defense. Drew still got the high powered offense rolling like a well oiled machine. In a division with dirty birds and a Superman who’s been sniffing the kryptomite and Tampa Bay in the toilet they can steal their division.

#8.    MINNESOTA     6-2   THEY GOT SPUNK!!! I HATE SPUNK. Not a very impressive div. Taking advantage of Rogers being out. I like the defense. However they’re playing who’s on first with the quarter back position as Bridgewater is back practicing.

#9.JACKSONVILLE   5-3   FINALLY WITH ALL THE TOP DRAFT PICKS THEY HAVE COLLECTED, ARE DOING THINGS. The Jaguars coach Doug Marrone will probably quit after he gets the division title.

#10. SEATTLE   5-3  Raise your hand if you hate Pete Carol. Lots of thugs lead by that slime bag Richard Sherman. Talk about such a Jekyll and Hyde team. One week they score 40, the next week they can’t get of the teens. Overall I do not trust this team. It’s another team I would love to see go away.

#11. BUFFALO  5-3    They played their first bad game of the year last week. I love them at home where they have been taking it to their opponents. This is a team where they need to have the lead to win the game. Do not trust Taylor when he’s down a few scores. He has precision with the dink and dunk passing. But when it comes to throwing down the field he sucks. If they want to get to playoffs and break that long drought, they need to step up their game quickly. They need to rebound from the loss and beat a tough Saints team coming in hot. Hopefully the Buffalo temperatures can freeze the Brees. Oh do I miss Jim Kelly.

#12. CAROLINA  6-3    They traded one of their best receivers away. However they are still in the thick of things. Their quarterback may be Superman but is lacking the spidey senses. Loved when the Bears defense kicked  Newton butt all over the field and did their best imitation of their superman pose. Poor Newton will go make fun of a female reporter when the times are grim or walk out of press conferences when the questions are little tough.

#13 TENNESSEE   5-3 Nashville has a factory of country bombshells of beautiful long legged blonde girls walking the streets. Music City is ringing in my ears as I think they will get into the playoffs this season. Dick Leabeau has the defense playing well. Love linebacker Woodyard, he’s one of those grinders that never gives up on the play.

#14.ATLANTA 4-4 What the hell happened to the Falcons? The NFC south seem like they take turns every year. Last year the Falcons this year the Saints and maybe in 2018 we give the Buccaneers a whirl. They need to start winning now, it’s do or die for a team with that amount of offensive talent to be at 4-4.

#15.WASHINGTON  4-4 Another team I have no idea what they are going to do every week. I’m still shocked Kirk Cousins does not have a long term contract. The guy is a very good quarterback especially when you got rid of all his receivers from last year.

#16.DETROIT 4-4  The Lions had a great start to the season. They still have hope after Rodgers is out in Green Bay. They need to string a few wins together this second half. Stafford can not do it himself. They need to get some kind of a running game established to be a well balanced attack, especially against the Vikings defense.

#17. OAKLAND 4-5  Who can cause more damage, a Mack truck or Mack on the Raiders defense? He seems like the only guy on the defense this year. I think this team will claw their way back with Carr. Not impressed with the skittlles addict Lynch, as the other running backs have done a lot better recently. They are on their bye week so they have time to iron things out and come out strong in the second half of their season.

#18. LA CHARGERS 3-5 If Rivers continues to have the amount of kids he has. Plus when his kids have kids. Will LA’s second team or are they the soccer team in town have established a big enough fan base to stay there?

#19. NEW YORK JETS 4-5 If it was not for the play of journeyman quarterback McCown, they would be at the bottom. I loved McCown when he was with the Bears doing some great things when he took over for Cutler. However the Bears stuck with Cutler. The Jets have been in every game. They could have a few more wins as they lost some close ones. Look at them to continue to rise in the charts. I’m Dickie Kasam.

#20. CHICAGO 3-5 DA BEARS!!! The defense has been playing lights out. They have no receivers but the rookie Trubisky continues to improve. They have a weak schedule this second half. The way they started, this team I thought would win one game. But I can see them getting to 500. They get a chance to kick around the Packers at home this weekend, so let’s hope it does not come down to Connor Barth kicking the game winner for the Bears as he has sucked.

#21.DENVER 3-5 The music chairs of quarterbacks continues. As their old friend who could not manage to stick with the Browns will get his second start of the year. Osweiler who took 70 million dollars away from Houston gets the nod over the guy they drafted a few years ago. Talk about things to do in Denver when you’re dead.

#22.CINCINNATI 3-5 The team with the most convicts. At least AJ Green continues to scratch and fight as this team has no pulse. Bengal fans are better to watch reruns of WKRP in Cincinnati instead of watching the rerun of the Bengals play each Sunday. It’s time to clean house there. Enough of the Pacman Jones and the head coach has to be axed.

#23. MIAMI 4-4 When you put all your eggs in Cutler you’re dreaming of a white Christmas in Florida which is not going to happen. A playoff team last year have already waved the white flag after trading their star running back to Philadelphia.

#24.ARIZONA 4-4 Their offense has gotten ancient. Maybe they need to move from Arizona and come back to Chicago play at Guaranteed rate field where the arrow is always going down. Actually I knew one person from Chicago that was still a Cardinal fan since they moved decades ago. That bar now is out of business where this guy was. I wonder what he will do now? Another bar or does he hope the owners will relocate?

#25.HOUSTON 3-5 HOUSTON WE HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM AT QUARTERBACK. This city saw a Hurricane wipe out their city. They seen Watt go out with another year ending injury. Then they were hopeful when Watson was lighting up teams. Then he falls to a season ending injury. Pour salt on wounds as people want you to sign Kaepernick. At least the Astros won the World series.

#26.BALTIMORE 4-5 Where is the offense? It’s like asking the question where’s the beef is what they are dealing with in Baltimore. You pay Flacco the most money on the team. Maybe it’s time to pull the plug on him.

#27.Green Bay 4-4 When the Bears are favored to beat you this week, you know you have hit skid row. Christmas came early in Chicago this year. Anybody for some Cheese whiz?

#28. TAMPA BAY 2-6 Only if they played the Bears every game this season. If Winston is out, at least Fitzpatrick can continue to pad his stats for the most games played by an Ivy league quarterback. Plus he is good for a few picks a game as well.

#29 INDIANAPOLIS  3-6  NO LUCK THIS YEAR. One of the worst rosters assembled, but they have three wins. The owner is a moron. Bright spot Jacoby Brissett. Usually when QB’S leave New England they are horrible. This guy has been pretty good. Could be a valuable back up to Luck when he returns next year.

#30. NEW YORK GIANTS 1-7 The fall of the G-MEN is perhaps another bright spot of the season. Bunch of dogs at the receiver position. Beckham actually pees on the goal post after touchdowns. Brandon Marshall continues to bring teams down. This year it is probably not his fault but still look at the resume.

#31. San Francisco  0-9 Maybe they should bring back Colin Kaepernick. They trade for Jimmy Garoppolo and they seem like they are not going to play him. The Niners and the Browns are at the bottom for idiots running the show while they both have not won a game.

#32.CLEVELAND 0-8   They continue to hit rock bottom as they forgot to file some paper work in a trade for a quarter back. Sell the team to Bernie Kosar. At least he could parade his hot porn daughter in the press conferences. Weekend at Bernie’s is always a cult favorite.