LAST WEEK’S RECORD WAS PATHETIC: 8-8

UPSETS DESTROYED WHAT WE THOUGHT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD WEEK

OUR YEAR RECORD AS WE SKIPPED WEEK ONE IS EVEN AT 16-16

WEEK FOUR BYES: REDSKINS AND PANTHERS

Week four byes means no jokes about the Fig Newton being soft in the brains. No talks about changing the Redskins name. Even though we do not care about what they call their team in the Capital.

Week four is our week. We have predicted winners and a whole bunch of Tom Foolery to go along with soccer hooliganisms .

THE SUNDAY SLATE

THE MATCH UP                                                          OUR WINNER

JETS AT JAGUARS                                                           JAGUARS

This looks like an easy pick. However how do we explain the Jaguars beating the Evil Empire then losing to the Tuxedos of Tennessee in kick off. Sam Darnold showed us his talents in week one against the kitty cats in Detroit. However he came back down to earth as did the Jets. If the Jags actually had a quarterback, they could be Superbowl bound with that defense. I believe Leonard Fournette will be back. That will help the Great Blake Bortles. Jags win this one in a laugher.

DOLPHINS AT PATRIOTS                                                   PATRIOTS

You would think the Evil Empire Patriots would be the team 3-0 and the Dolphins would be 1-2. Miami fans got to love their team again after last season trying to stomach watching Jay Cutler.

The Dolphins have beaten the Titans, Jets and Raiders. Only the Titans might be a good team out of that group. Are the Dolphins actually a good team? Then it’s funny seeing the Patriots on a losing streak as we hope it continues.  However we have been down this road before. Sometimes the Patriots lose at the start of the season and then yield off ten straight wins. Patriots get on track here and win big, giving Miami their first loss of the year.

EAGLES AT TITANS                                                               EAGLES

Titans are a team that I’m not sure of. However they seem to feast off teams in their own division. Then teams outside their division, their record to me is not impressive. Meanwhile the Eagles welcomed back Carson Wentz last week. The Eagles ended up just getting by the Colts last week. So he got his feet wet in that game and he knocked off the rust at the same time. I think you see a sharper game from Wentz in his second game back and with a better performance, Eagles prevail and look more like their Superbowl selves.

TEXANS AT COLTS                                                                    COLTS

I’m sick of getting burned by the Texans. For some odd reason I think Watson will have a big day. Then my mind sees a few of their receivers will also will come out with huge days as well. The defense will break the quarterback’s legs. Then I wake up. I think the Colts defense have been playing well and that will be the key as they stop Watson’s air attack. Then Andrew Luck makes enough plays to get his team by and the Colts even up their record at 2-2.

BILLS AT PACKERS                                                                      BILLS

I’m jumping on the band wagon of the Buffalo Bills. Yes, call me crazy. The stat that intrigues me is that since Vontae Davis retired the Bills have out scored their opponents 41-9. VONTAE DAVIS YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK GOOD BYE!!!!! The Bills looked very bad in the first two weeks of the season. Then they pulled off the biggest upset in decades last week against the Vikings. It leaves you scratching your head and thinking like Hank Hill, saying “What the Hell Bobby?” The Bills did make it it to the playoffs last season. They even went out and improved their defense. Not the Vontae Davis signing, obviously he is garbage. The defense was pretty good last season. It took them ’til game three to finally show up. I think the Bills will shock the world again and go into Green Bay and chase down the hobbled Rodgers enough times to prevail. I loved the way Josh Allen played last week as he looked like a seasoned veteran out their hurdling defenders. Not impressed with the Packers so far. The Bears blew a big fourth quarter lead. The Vikings could have won that tie they had with the cheese heads, but blown field goals helped Packers settle for a tie. Then the Redskins gave them an arse kicking. I like the Bills in this one just edging Rodgers and company in a fight to the end.

LIONS AT COWBOYS                                                                 LIONS

This is one of those games you can flip a coin to get the pick right. The Cowboys offense is struggling. Which probably make Dez Bryant a happy camper. Stroking his ego as he points the finger to Cowboys’ coaching staff on the twitter. Both teams are 1-2. I like the Lions especially, they can build on that big Sunday night game against the Evil Empire, the Patriots. The key to this game is the Lions offense. I think they can put points on the board against the Cowboy defense. I see the Cowboys offense continuing to struggle on the short bus of life in the 2018 season. I think the Cowboys need to call the Corona hot line and seek the answers from Tony Romo.

BUCCANEERS AT BEARS                                                    BUCCANEERS

This will be the first real test for that Bears defense. The Buccaneers’ high powered offense against that Mack led defense that has been dominating  and at times stingy. I think the Bears will get some turnovers off Fitzmagic. However Ryan Fitzpatrick will get off a few big plays in this game. The Buccaneers will score enough points where the struggling Mitch Trubisky on the Bears offense will not be able to match. Buccaneers win this one by one score. Then the talk on sports radio in Chicago will be red hot about how their first round quarterback looks like he plays for the Bad News Bears.

BENGALS AT FALCONS                                                                FALCONS

The Falcons have had some injuries piling up. The Bengals coming off their first loss of the year. I think the game will be close and the Falcons pulling away late. I think the Bengals have improved. I find it hard for many teams to stop the Falcons’ offense. Falcons are used to being in shoot outs. Last week the Saints got the ball last and won. I don’t see Andy Dalton and AJ Green able to sustain a high temple scoring affair. I think the Falcons’ defense makes a few plays to prevent the Bengals from winning.

SEAHAWKS AT CARDINALS                                                        CARDINALS

This used to be a big game when these two teams met. Times have changed as both teams are heading in a downward spiral. Who will want to watch this toilet bowl? The Cardinals will win this one as long as Bradford is not their quarterback. Sam Bradford is a fraud at quarterback. Now you know the reasons why Minnesota cleared house of all their quarterbacks from a year ago. Put the rookie in and David Johnson will run wild off the defense that lost their boom. The Seahawks offensive line is a turnstyle which the Cardinals defense will exploit. Oh to see Pete Carol’s face after another loss will be priceless. Especially with the Cardinals seeking their first win.

BROWNS AT RAIDERS                                                                BROWNS

After this week I think the Oakland fans will help Jon Gruden pack his bags for Vegas. Raiders fans can now turn their full attention to A’s baseball. The Browns have a new savior in town and thank God it’s not Lebron James. Baker Mayfield is the new sheriff in town and without a Raider pass rush, this will be a big game for the young quarterback. I hope the reporters ask Gruden if he misses Khalil Mack. People will be talking playoffs if the Browns pull this game out. Browns in the playoffs? That’s hard to say. Does not trickle off your tongue easy.

SAINTS AT GIANTS                                                                       SAINTS

Can this one be another epic shoot out? Will the dogs like Beckham come out and pee on the goalposts? I think the Saints are just starting to warm up. You can say they scored 43 points last week and they already were heating up. I’m waiting for that big play defense to rev up. Do they need to bring back bounty-gate? Eight Giant heads in duffel bag.

 

 

Of course starring Joe Pesci. Beckham would be the first head Joe would collect. Put on the Saints mantel. I think Saints prevail in this contest. I think the defense for the Saints come out and have a better day then they’re used to.

49ERS AT CHARGERS                                                                  CHARGERS

Oh how a quarterback can change a team. With Jimmy done for the season you will see the rest of the 49ers season be flushed down the toilet. Now The Rams will win that division by 8 games and have things clinched before Halloween, if that is possible. The Chargers need a cakewalk, especially coming off a loss in the LA bowl last week. I think Rivers and company have a monster game in this contest.

RAVENS AT STEELERS                                                                  STEELERS

The Steelers needed that game last week against the Buccaneers.  With that win it probably saved the locals lynching Mike Tomlin as well. With the Ravens coming to town this should be a well fought game. Even though the Ravens have two wins they still have not shown me much. They beat up on the Bills who came out of the gate lifeless. They beat the Broncos last week who I think are nothing special. The loss to the Bengals who are a middle of the road type of team.The Steelers will obviously be the biggest challenge for the Ravens. It’s another prime time game and Steelers will thrive in the spot light and get back in the race as one of the elite teams in the AFC.

CHIEFS AT BRONCOS                                                                       CHIEFS

The Broncos would need 11 Von Millers on their defense to stop the Chiefs. Case Keenum who I think is a one year wonder at quarterback. He will not be able to keep up with the Chiefs in a shoot out. Patrick Mahomes has another big day as the Chiefs rout the Broncos to stay on top of the AFC West and stay undefeated.