SUNDAY’S SLATE DECEMBER 16, 2018

THE MATCHUPS

DOLPHINS AT VIKINGS

Both teams are living on the edge of their playoff lives. Vikings holding sixth seed in NFC. Dolphins outside looking in on the bubble. The Miami Miracle used all the Dolphins’ nine lives they had. It’s time that Kirk Cousins starts earning his pay check. Vikings at home they prevail in this one and the Viking horn will be loud and prosperous.

OUR PICK: VIKINGS

TITANS AT GIANTS

No Odell Beckham in this contest. Both teams coming off wins against teams that consisted of a butt fumbler and a homicidal maniac that wanted to beat up a Titan fan. Titans are playing for their playoff lives. Which starting running back will do better for their team? It’s the key in this one. It’s that time of the year where Titans sneak their way through the back door to get in the playoffs. The door opens a crack in this one as Titans prevail in a close one.

OUR PICK: TITANS

RAIDERS AT BENGALS

Back in the way back time machine, this was the match up that ended Bo Jackson’s playing career. This game is right up Jon Gruden’s alley, a game with out any defenses. Bengals are back to the Bumbles. Raiders have a quarterback we know. They have more pieces to be able to win this one. That does not say much as this game is a below the swamp type of game on the docket. How many future XFL players will come out of this game? We like the Raiders.

OUR PICK : RAIDERS

REDSKINS AT JAGUARS

Does it get worse than Raiders Bengals? Yes it does, my Dear Watson. Jaguars and Redskins, well I’d rather watch the American Alliance Football League coming this spring. This game features quarterbacks Bortles, Kessler, and a butt fumbler. The best QB on either roster is Josh Johnson who came in to mop up for the Butt Fumbler who put them in a 40 to 0 hole last week. As long as Josh Johnson stays upright and does not get shived by the crazy Fournette before the game, I like the Skins winning this contest by the skin of their teeth.

OUR PICK: REDSKINS

COWBOYS AT COLTS

This contest could be the game of the week. Every game the Cowboys are in has to be America’s game of the week. Beside the Saints, the Cowboys have been beating cream puffs. Colts are playing for their lives. They took down the Texans last week. This week they will go for the Texas sweep. Colts prevail as Luck has the game of his life. I like the Colts in this one.

OUR PICK: COLTS

BUCCANEERS AT RAVENS

Buccaneers are making their vacation plans for the off season. Winston and Fitzpatrick will ride the teacups at Disney. The Ravens let one get away against the top team in the AFC, the Chiefs last week. Ravens get the early lead in this one and their defense shuts down the Buccaneers the whole way to hold on to the sixth seed. Put the pressure on the Steelers doorstep for a chance at the division.

OUR PICK: RAVENS

LIONS AT BILLS

Lions and Statford do not have a good history in the snow. WELCOME TO BUFFALO!!! Big sign of the Bumble from the Rudolph welcoming the Lions to Buffalo. Buffalo’s defense is a top ten defense. They play even better at home. Josh Allen will take his ground assault and prevail and be king of the mountain of the snow piles in Buffalo. Perhaps a few snow angels in the end zone to celebrate a rare Buffalo win.

OUR PICK:BILLS

CARDINALS AT FALCONS

This game is for the birds. I just picture Alfred Hitchcock’s movie, The Birds, in this one. Cardinals and Falcons pecking each other’s eye balls out. Then they attack all the fans which will turn the Atlanta fans into zombies and become the latest episode of the Walking Dead. Meanwhile Matt Ryan leads a key drive as Falcons win this blood bath.

OUR PICK: FALCONS

PACKERS AT BEARS

The people in Chicago have waited for this day a very long time. It is not the Superbowl, but this is much bigger. It is the day where the Bears will exercise their demons. Slay the closet monster that has kept them up at nights. Bed terrors, wetting the bed, every year the same outcome. Aaron freaking Rodgers beats the Bears again. If the Cubs could exercise the goat. It is time and it will happen this weekend. Bears buries Rodgers in the Soldier’s Field turf. Those crime scenes where they cover the bodies with the white sheets. On this day they will cover Rodgers’ body with an orange hunting vest. Who will Rogers fire after this game?

OUR PICK: BEARS

SEAHAWKS AT 49ERS

If you have to get stuck watching this one, maybe cleaning the gutters sounds more fun. Weekend at Bernie’s Two even sounds better. Part two will have Seahawks prevail in this snoozer.

OUR PICK SEAHAWKS

PATRIOTS AT STEELERS

Once upon a time the Steelers and the Patriots were the two power houses of the AFC. Now both teams ride the short bus in a game both teams need. It will be the type of scenario where this one ends in a tie. Steelers lose to Raiders last week. Then the Patriots fall victim to the Miami Miracle. Patriots and the Evil Empire will prevail as the Steelers and Big Ben are Brady’s bitch. Mop the floors when they are done with this one. Big Ben on the ground making sure Brady’s kitchen floor is waxed and polished.

OUR PICK: EVIL EMPIRE

EAGLES AT RAMS

No Carson Wentz in this one for the Eagles. Even though they do have Nick the Dick, last year’s Superbowl and playoff hero, the Rams will be too much.This one is in LA with nice warmer weather for the Rams to play in. Not that Chicago weather they experienced last week. Rams get back on track here.

OUR PICK: RAMS

SAINTS AT PANTHERS

Saints come in and just devour the cookies left by Santa in Carolina. Christmas candy cane Fig Newtons. Somebody gets fired after this contest. Saints hold on to the number one seed in the NFC.

OUR PICK: SAINTS