“I served my country, I played High school football”.

Al Bundy, a True American. Never see him kneeling for the National Anthem.

GRADING EACH TEAM OFF SEASON ACTIVITIES

We have graded each team in the NFL for what they did or did not do ,this off season. Instead of grades we have them in special categories. Teams that have done the best job are awarded the holy grail which they went out to seek, and they earned it. The second category is… job well done, you filled in some holes. The third category is a sale at Penny’s. These are the teams that shopped at the Aldi for their stock, the roster type of players. Then the teams that are on secret double probation and scored 0.0 this off season… the bottom of the barrel rankings of our grading scale.

THE TEAMS THAT ACHIEVED HOLY GRAIL STATUS

NEW YORK JETS: The New Jets have been very busy this off season. They made splashes on both sides of the ball. They improved their defense by signing former Raven C.J Mosley to a big deal to help anchor that Jet defense. They added former Falcon, Brian Poole. Then they brought back a few of their own to keep their defense intact.

On offense, they added a big weapon of mass destruction. Leveon Bell, a hold out last season in Pittsburgh, is one of the biggest playmakers in the league to come out of the back field. With a year off, he should be considered very dangerous and will be seeking to have a monster year. They added Jamison Crowder, a wide out from the Skins. They improved their special teams with the signing of former Bear, Josh Bellamy. Just hope they don’t need him as a receiver because he goes by rock hands and drops everything that is thrown perfectly to him. Overall improving the defense and giving your young quarterback some weapons, could turn this team around very quickly.

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS: 49ERS need their Jimmy back. Jimmy Garopolo needs to start for this team. He needs to stay healthy if this team wants to get past the Rams. I did like the 49ers trying to improve their weakness this off season, their defense. First on offense, they signed Falcons running back, Tevin Coleman. Then they signed Eagles wide out, Jordan Matthews. Two guys that can chip in to a pretty good offense already established.

On defense, the big trade to get  Dee Ford from the Chiefs. A great linebacker. Just in playoff games versus the Patriots, make sure he does not line up in the neutral zone. Then the 49ers added David Mayo LB from the Panthers. They are taking a chance on two defensive guys that had the injury bug in 2018. Linebacker, Kwon Alexander, and the Chargers defensive back ,Jason Verrett. Talented players, but can they stay on the field? The biggest two questions… can Jimmy be the starter for the whole year?  Is Jimmy a franchise quarterback?

TENNESSEE TITANS: The Titans already had a pretty good defense. They added a big pass rusher, former Dolphin Cameron Wake, which is huge. A guy that can pressure the quarterback, especially at critical times of the game, will help cement many leads.

I like what they did on offense and that was trading for the Dolphins quarterback, Ryan Tannehill. We might as well call the Titans, the Tennessee Dolphins. With Marcus Mariota also having to deal with injuries, is why I like Tannehill. You can say Tannehill has the same stats as Mariota and deals with nagging injuries himself. Put two of them on the same roster and they should be able to get through a season, I hope. Perhaps they need a third veteran injury prone quarterback to be sure to get through the grind of a season.

I like the new receiver who they took from the Buccaneers. Adam Humpries is one of those under the radar type of signings that will give the Titans a guy that can move the chains. Look at Julian Edelman, Superbowl MVP. Plus they added Roger Saffold to enforce the line to help prevent their injury prone quarterbacks from going down every other series.

OAKLAND RAIDERS: The Raiders have been the butt of many people around the league’s jokes since Jon Gruden has taken over.  They traded away lots of their talent including Khaili Mack to the Bears. That’s a guy you build your team around. They stocked up piles of draft picks, especially in the first round. The Raiders were horrible last season and looked like they might have been out of a home for a season before they bolt to Vegas. However they bamboozled  their X gal-friend in Oakland to move in for one more year.

Then they fleeced the Steelers in the Antonio Brown trade. Derrick Carr needs a weapon even though Brown is diva prom prissy receiver, he can make big plays. Then they added the Chargers’ Tyrell Williams, a weapon of Phillip Rivers. A guy who played in the same division. Then Chucky built a new Berlin wall in the signings of Trent Brown and Lamarcus Joyner. Donald Trump will be proud of the craftsmanship of this fence around Carr.

Then you have to be Raider-like and nab a head hunter. A dirty player. Antonio Brown’s bosom buddy from the Bengals, in Vontaze Burfict. As long as he does not take out Brown’s head in practice, it’ll be ok. The Raiders still have all their first round draft picks in their disposal as well to get more pieces to the puzzle. Now who is going to call Gruden and the Raiders morons?

CLEVELAND BROWNS: CLEVELAND ROCKS!!! Absolutely. They are building the stealth of all offenses. Bringing in Odell Beckham and Kareem Hunt with the weapons they already have on offense with Baker Mayfield behind center is big excitement .

Plus they added some interesting pieces to the defensive side. Sheldon Richardson from the Vikings. Oliver Vernon from the Giants. Adding guys like that to a pretty good established unit from a year ago will make them one of the better defenses in the league. Could perhaps rise up to one of the best in the league adding more through the draft.

BUFFALO BILLS: Buffalo Bills went on a shopping spree. They went on an offensive side-of-the-ball binge. The Bills had holes in their offensive line like Swiss cheese. They had the worst receiving group in the league.

The line brought in Mitch Morse from the Chiefs. They brought in Ty Nsekhe from the Skins.

The new receiving core brings in speedster Josh Brown which will go well with Josh Allen’s big arm. I like Cole Beasley from the Cowboys. Every quarterback needs a security blanket. The Bills cut unproductive Charles Clay which them signing him to that kind of money was a rusty ice pick poking one of your eyeballs out. They landed a new tight end, Tyler Kroft, who saw some action with the Bengals filling in for their injury prone starter.

I like Frank Gore, even though he is old he can be very productive. He’s probably way better than Shady McCoy, who the Bills still have. Like to see them draft another running back. They also added Andre Roberts, a weapon on special teams. A guy that can return kicks and punts to get your team a better field position.

On defense they brought in  a cornerback from Houston in Kevin Johnson. I like to see them add more pieces to an already good defense in the draft. Overall the Bills improved their roster big time. They filled a lot of holes. Not sure they can get past the Evil Empire in their division, but they are closer than ever.

TEAMS THAT ACHIEVED A PAT ON THE BACK AND DRAFT BEER FOR JOB WELL DONE

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: I think the Eagles can pat themselves on the back this off season. They brought back many of their own guys. They had to let go of Nick Foles. They traded cancer, Michael Bennett, to the Evil Empire. They added Malik Jackson from the Jags to improve their defensive line.

They brought back DeSean Jackson, a play maker that can stretch the field for Carson Wentz, and will make their offense a lot better. They can do more things including running the ball more as defenses will have to focus on their receivers. Which will  open up bigger holes for their backs.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS: Saints do not have a huge amount of space in their salary cap.  They were able to make some interesting moves that could help this team get back into playoffs and perhaps put them over the hump into the Superbowl. Saints added two guys to their defensive line. Signing Malcom Brown away from the Patriots. They added a defensive end in Mario Edwards.

On offense they improve their line, nabbing Nick Eason away from the Vikings. They also needed to replace Mark Ingram, part of that two headed monster in the backfield. They found a Latavius Murray on clearance in hopes he can provide somewhat the same kind of impact as Mark Ingram. In the draft, the Saints can now concentrate on creating more depth on their roster.

GREEN BAY PACKERS: Packers going down a different road these days. Very active in the free agency market. This year on the defensive side of the ball. Having one of the the best quarterbacks, you know your team will score. Stopping the other team’s offense is a great way overall to get better. First they snag a player from the division rival Bears, in safety Adrian Amos, a smart player with football intellect. Then they landed two Smiths, one from the Skins and the other from the Ravens. Both Preston Smith and  Zadarius Smith can tackle and make plays.

The Packers added a guy to the offensive line from the Broncos in Billy Turner. They also added an old luxury car to the garage. Marcedes Lewis, not sure how much gas he has left in the tank. Could be a nice weapon in the red zone for Rodgers.

DETROIT LIONS: Lions are looking to be the Patriots of the Midwest. Lots of Patriot blood added to the mix in motor city. Trey Flowers, the Patriots’ best defensive linemen, follows his former coach and is now a Lion. Justin Coleman, a corner back with Patriots blood, was also added. Both moves will improve that defense.

On offense I like the signing of Jesse James, former Steeler tight end. This gives Stafford a big weapon in the red zone. Then bringing in another Patriot, Danny Amendola, will give Stafford a much needed slot receiver. Across the board job well done.

DENVER BRONCOS: The Broncos biggest move was steeling Vic Fangio away from the Bears. I think the Broncos already have some great pieces on the defensive side of of the ball. They brought in X bear Bryce Callahan who’s very good at defending against the slot receivers. Then they brought in veteran defensive back, Kareem Jackson. Nice pieces in place. Nice pieces added with Fangio’s philosophy that the Broncos defense can emerge as one of the leagues best.

On offense they got rid of Case Keenum. Even though the Broncos will absorb most of that contract, they needed to rid themselves of the one year wonder. Joe Flacco is an upgrade over Keenum. This Flacco move could backfire on Elway and the Broncos. The thing I like about it is Joe Flacco has something to prove. He could have a turn around year and possibly play at the level when he won the Superbowl with the Ravens years ago. They added a big offensive lineman from Miami in Jawan James. They need more help on this team, but right now from last year to compare with job well done.

ARIZONA CARDINALS: The Cardinals definitely needed to improve their offensive line because all of their quarterbacks had no time. Especially the rookie quarterback Josh Rosen who they might give up on already.

They landed Marcus Gilbert in trade with the Steelers. Plus they signed guard JR Sweezy

The Cardinals biggest move was landing Raven DE Terrell Suggs who is coming home to Arizona where he played college. They also added Jordan Hicks LB from the Eagles. These moves improve a defense that was pretty good already.

The Cardinals also are taking flyers out on Kevin White, a very injury prone receiver and former Bear. Then back up quarterback Brent Hundley

 

SALE AT PENNIES

TEAMS THAT TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE SALES. THE DOLLAR BINS. THE DOLLAR STORES. STRETCHED THE ALMIGHTY BUCK TO IMPROVE THEIR TEAM.

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: Thought Seattle Seahawks were doomed last season getting rid of all the leftovers from the Legion of Boom. However they still made the playoffs. The hated Pete Carol knows how to construct a good roster. He built a new defense that was pretty good. He improved the running game on the offense.

This off season they signed back most of their own that were free agents. They added offensive lineman Mike Lupati from the Cardinals to protect Russell Wilson.

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS: I like the new coaching staff in Tampa. Bruce Arians as the new head coach. His defensive coordinator is a former Jets head coach and he was a very excellent defensive coordinator with the Cardinals, good ole Todd Bowls. First thing I see is the Buccaneers defense will improve even if it is the same cast of characters.

Fitzmagic is gone. Will Winston be able to play nice with uber drivers? The Buccaneers traded away DeSean Jackson. Sending the cancer back to where he originally came from in Philadelphia.  They picked up Breshad Perriman who did not want to be a a part of the Cleveland Browns once again as they brought in Beckham. He didn’t feel the love for Cleveland Rocks. Besides that move and a few resigning of their own, Tampa Bay’s pirate ship has been very quiet.

NEW YORK GIANTS: Not sure what the Giants are actually doing. They traded away Odell Beckham and did not get enough back in my opinion. They let Landon Collins bolt. They traded away another defensive player to improve their offensive line. Then they added defensive help from the Five & Dime store. However they signed Golden Tate to a pretty decent deal.

Last year when Odell Beckham was out with an injury, I thought the Giants offense was doing well. Adding to the offensive line to keep Eli Manning from taking hits is smart, getting Kevin Zeitler. They already have a slot receiver in Shepard. That’s why the Golden Tate signing baffles me. Seems like the Giants care more about their offense than defense. The Giants signed Antoine Bethea, Markus Golden and get Jabrili Peppers in a trade. They have lost impact players on defense and these guys will not make up for that.

LA RAMS: Looks like the Rams need penny pinching moves. Do they have enough money to bring back Suh to anchor the middle of that defensive line? Bringing in Eric Weddle from Baltimore helps improve their secondary, which was pretty good in the first place. Rams made it to the Superbowl. I’m not sure what they need exactly but I do know they need something else to improve that team. Perhaps they will solve their needs in the draft or improve on the fly, as they are a team that wheels and deals during the season.

The Rams waited and took advantage of the K-Mart blue light special and landed Clay Matthews Jr. from Green Bay. He once was thought of as Thor. Most think of him as Aaron Rodgers’ odd couple roommate on the State Farm commercials. Who will replace him in Green Bay? Maybe Nelson, who was cut from the Raiders, will cuddle with Rodgers again.I like this move for the Rams because Clay is going home and where he played college football is where the Rams play their home games. I think Wade Phillips will know how to use Matthews.

LA CHARGERS: Not much going in Charger Land. They’ve been relatively quiet. They resigned some of their own. They’ve been picking at the dollar bin. Found themselves a back up quarterback in Tyrod Taylor. Like they need one. Phillip Rivers takes every bloody snap anyways.

On defense, they added former Panther, Thomas Davis. I like that move because he can help what is already a pretty good defense. They let Tyrell Williams walk out the door to a division rival. I like how the offense rolled this year and taking away one of Rivers’ weapons is not a good idea. They could draft another wide out as it was a penny pinching move by the Chargers in the first place not to resign Williams.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS: Colts coming off a very successful season where they made the playoffs. They even advanced to the second round. They have been quiet, too quiet. They resigned a few of their own. They plucked Carolina’s number one receiver, Devin Funchess, from counter by the cash register next to the magazines. That’s not saying much to be Carolina’s number one receiver. However you could say he had Cam Newton throwing to him, which maybe he might be a better weapon for Andrew Luck. It take two to tangle.

HOUSTON TEXANS: Texans coming off a season where they made the playoffs, only to be knocked out in the first round. Texans lost a few guys who bolted to other teams. Texans replaced those guys by finding deals in the dollar bins at the Walmart. They added Briean Boddy-Calhoun, Tashon Gipson from the Jaguars, and Bradley Roby. Three guys that could replace the guys that left. Not sure if they got better or worse with this team. Their biggest move was putting the tag on Clowney, making sure he did not get away.

DALLAS COWBOYS: Cowboys made the playoffs last season. They have signed their own back. The team added Jason Witten, who jumped in their Amazon cart, coming out of retirement. Perhaps he knew his announcing skills on Monday night football were not that good. Witten gives the Cowboys a much needed weapon on offense. If he can play like his old former self, this move can help this team, especially a guy who can get those hard first downs and move the chains. I think the Cowboys need to make a few more moves since they played in a very bad division. Not going to respect them like they are a shoe-in for the playoffs again this upcoming season. I like them adding Randall Cobb to replace Cole Beasley. They needed something in the slot. If Cobb can stay healthy and now with a new team, he will be determined to turn his career around. Gives Prescott another weapon with experience.

CHICAGO BEARS: The Bears are limited on the cash this off-season so they’ve been stocking up at Aldi for their needs.

By far their best move was kick returner/wide out Cordarrelle Patterson from the Evil Empire. Besides returning kickoffs and punts, you can insert him into your offense. Gives Coach Nagy another toy to his offense.

They replaced Amos and Calahan on defense with a couple budget buys. Buster Skrine from the Jets. I like the signing of Ha Ha Clinton Dix because he something to prove, especially to his former team the Packers.

Bears added another running back in Mike Davis. They had to cut their kicker last year for his double donking of the cross bars, especially in the playoffs. But that move is eating crucial salary cap space. Plus they still really have not addressed this occurring problem that has haunted them ever since they cut Robbie Gould.

TEAMS THAT HAVE DONE NOTHING TO IMPROVE THEMSELVES SO FAR THIS OFF SEASON

PITTSBURGH STEELERS: I used to think of the Steelers as a hard working, bring your lunch pail to the job, type of team. Guys who don’t complain about breaking a nail. They just rub some dirt on it and get back to work.

First thing I will say is the defense is no longer the steel curtain. Perhaps it is no longer even a shower curtain. Even a shower curtain with grime and holes in it. The head coach of the Steelers is Mike Tomlin who has defense in his blood. Not seeing it. Not seeing any improvements on this man’s expertise.

Not sure why Mike Tomlin is still the head coach. He once let what to do for the National Anthem, take his team away from beating a bad Chicago Bears team. Then the cry babies. Antonio Brown and the hold out Bell that has been eating away at this team for years. This thing goes deeper than those two yellow bellies. They have had disgruntled  people on the offensive side of the ball for years. Do they draft them that way? Can Mike Tomlin diffuse any situation? Obviously he can not put out a fire to save his life, even if he had a fire-hose to use. This is all on the Big Ben watch as well. Would this kind of shenanigans happen on Bill Cowher’s watch? Absolutely not. It’s about time the Steelers brass fire a coach for once. A head coach of a football team should not hold on to the job like they are the Pope.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS:This team right now is hot garbage. Alex Smith most likely will not be playing this season after suffering a horrible injury that could end his career. They then traded for Case Keenum, which Denver is paying most of that huge contract for the one year wonder. I’d rather go with Josh Johnson, who subbed in late in the season. Then they resigned Adrian, aka Spanky Peterson. Not sure he has enough gasoline left in the tank. He will need to be towed away to the junk yard at some point.

On defense they landed Collins as in Landon Collins from the Giants. They over paid for him. They lost a few of their own free agents on both sides of the ball. Perhaps the Texan Colt McCoy will get another shot with his six shooter starting behind center when everyone else is scalped and laying dead, skinned at high noon.

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS: NOT IMPRESSED. Patriots are coming off a season where they won the Superbowl. To me, I hope bad times at New England High are about to happen. Many of their own people have walked out of their own doors. Detroit is the newest New England. They traded for Michael Bennett, a cancer in the locker room, to replace Trey Flowers. They found Terrance Brooks from the Jets and Bruce Ellington from the Lions on the road being picked at by vultures. The Patriots fought them off and found them homes. Is GRONK coming back?  Looks bad right now. But the Evil Empire will come up with some kind of trade and draft well to fix their Death Star.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS: The Vikings are a team that was supposed to make it to the playoffs.They won a brand new quarterback in the off season. They are paying Kirk Cousins big money and they failed to make it to the playoffs. The defense did not look good as it once did when they made it to the NFC championship.

No action Jackson activity going on to improve the team either. They lost Sheldon Richardson. They almost lost Anthony Barr. They added Shamar Stephen from Seattle. Who is that? Not sure. We do know the rest of the division have been very busy bees.

MIAMI DOLPHINS: What are the Dolphins doing exactly? They have signed a few Patriots in corner back Eric Rolle and tight end Dwayne Allen. Not big names. You can say Allen has had some good years catching the ball. They let a few of their key players walk out the door.Then they traded their starting quarterback to Tennessee. Looks like they will be heading for a rebuild of some kind. Why the need for a veteran tight end, Dwayne Allen, if you’re trading all your assets?  Even Teddy Bridgewater went for a visit and perhaps could have been the starter. He turned the Dolphins down and headed back to the Saints to back up Brees. However Ryan Fitzpatrick finds another new team to start for. Just needs to play for the Patriots after the Dolphins to have played for everyone in the AFC East. Will he throw for 400 yards every games with a few picks? Probably the bridge quarterback for the new drafted quarterback. Patriots next season.

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS: I think the Chiefs are in trouble. This off season is a head scratcher. They cut Justin Huston and traded away Dee Ford and cut the heart and soul of their team ,their man Berry. Are Damien Wilson and Alex Okafor and Tyran Mathieu enough to replace those guys. Their defense was not that great last year. But they made some plays. I think their defense got worse.

On offense they lost their center. They added well traveled Carlos Hyde to the back field. Then their star receiver might be in trouble with the law. So far the feeling I have is, the sky is falling in Kansas City. The whole division improved and they took a few steps backwards.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS: They finally cut ties with Blake Bortles. The owner finally got the naked pictures back from his former quarterback. Many high price defensive players have been cut. Many coaches were shown the door. Do not understand how Doug Marone is still the head coach. Maybe he has the naked pictures now.

They signed Nick Foles. Yes, St. Nick. This is a huge upgrade from what they had. Too much money invested in him. Not sure why Nick Foles chose the Jaguars, who does he have to throw to? Chris Conley, a guy no one ever heard of, a wide out from the Chiefs the Jags signed. Foles has a bipolar running back. They did improve the line with Cedric Ogbuehi. Again, Foles has no weapons. Plus Nick, can he play the whole year and be successful? I think this move will backfire for both sides.

CINCINNATI BENGALS: Bengals looking to return their old bumble selves. They have signed their own free agents back. They added an offensive lineman in John Miller. They brought in a corner back from the Giants in BW Webb.

The Bengals will be going in a different direction with a new coach. Long time coach Marvin Lewis who held on to his position like the Pope for too many years. The Cincinnati Reds have done way more in their off season than the Bengals.

CAROLINA PANTHERS: DO YOU HEAR CRICKETS?

Panthers added to their offensive line. Matt Paradis and Daryl Williams.

Panthers lost some key people. Cam Newton is still the team’s quarterback. I would not be dancing naked in the streets if I was a Panther fan.

ATLANTA FALCONS: The Falcons added some offensive pieces. You want your franchise quarterback protected at all costs. They’ve got two offensive linemen: Jamon Brown and James Carpenter. They added a back up running back in Kenjon Barner.

They had one of the worst defenses in the league last season and did not get anybody to help on that side of the ball. Their offense will have to carry them all year with the walking dead defense they have coming back.

BALTIMORE RAVENS: Ravens had one of the top defenses in the league last year. They lost some key guys on that unit. The Ravens brought in corner back, Justin Bethel. Then they landed Earl Thomas from Seattle, the last of that Legion of Boom defense. Earl is not a classy guy. Most of those Legion of Boom guys are just cancer to the locker room. Not enough to replace the manpower they lost.

On offense they signed running back Mark Ingram from the Saints. I like him only with someone else that can do well and share the carries. If he is my featured back, not a fan of this move. Besides they have no receivers. Their quarterback is the running man. The Ravens might as well run the old wishbone offense.