Last season the New England Patriots won the Superbowl in a year that looked like it was the end of the death star. Their weapons of mass destruction around the universe were not firing on all cylinders. The Patriots still were able to win the Superbowl. The off season has been brutal so far for the dark side. Many of the storm troopers have jumped ship and headed all over the galaxy, far far away to other teams. They have an owner that is in trouble. Then one of their big weapons on the ground assault is ready to hang up the spikes for good. Yes, some would call this weapon an ATAT. Some would call it imperial walker. The Evil Empire called it the Gronk. Rob Gronkowski is calling it quits and leaving the Patriots without one of their biggest weapons in the snow.

 

People would say the Gronk might be one of the top ten tight ends of all time. He is a big target that can snare almost anything close to him even with defenders draped all over him. He was one of Tom Brady’s all-time favorite weapons for close to ten years. The Gronk in fact is a big dog. He was a dog on the field.  

Gronk was known for cheap shots. Like when the Buffalo Bills defensive back was down on the ground and defenseless, Gronk jumped on top of him. His career did not last ten seasons in the NFL. Bigger dogs only live for about ten years as their legs give up on them depending on how much weight is put down on their paws. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

All those years Gronk flexed his muscles. All those years he scored touchdown after touchdown. He made defenses sick from trying to cover him. Even trying to tackle the big slob. He was one of the Evil Empire’s biggest weapons in Imperial history. The New England Patriots always had big weapons of mass destruction at the tight end position working alongside the Gronk. Other imperial walkers. They had smaller versions of the Gronk. Like the long legged Martellus Bennett imperial walker.

 

You might say Martellus could be a bigger dog than the Gronk when it comes to personality. Bennett got hit in the head a tad too much. Probably from people that played on the same team as him.

               

That explains why his brain is swiss cheese as his brain is full of Dr. Seuss characters. Probably termites as well. As he slithers around the Christmas tree stealing all the Who’s gifts in Whoville.

Then the Patriots had a killing machine that actually went into lock up. A tight end that caught passes and was not afraid of anyone who stepped in his way.

Before he killed himself. Before he ended up in jail for killing somebody. The Patriots had Aaron Hernandez who at the time was a weapon well used by the Evil Empire. 

Who will be the tight end for the Evil Empire in 2019?  Who will be that next weapon of mass destruction for the Evil Empire? The Patriots recently signed X Jaguar Austin Seferian Jenkins. Does he scare you? Lots of injuries last season, so he only caught 11 balls for 90 yards and one touchdown. In 2017 he caught 50 balls for the Jets. However only 367 yards. He did have three scores. The rest of the room is just full of Storm trooper’s speed bikes that Ewoks could handle on any given Sunday. Matt LaCosse, Stephen Anderson, Ryan Izzo and Jacob Hollister you asked yourself who the hell are these guys. Just like in the movie Major League when the groundskeepers are prepping the field and talking among themselves wondering what kind of roster the Indians were bringing up from Spring Training. The higher brass of the Empire can not feel good about their tight end position going into 2019 regular season.

In the upcoming draft the Evil Empire are really leaning on their top scout Fett to find that diamond in the ruff.

                                                 

To find that next weapon of mass destruction for their aging quarterback Tom Brady. Can the Empire fix all the cracks in the death star through the draft? Fett really has his work cut out for him. Without that security blanket at tight end. The receiving core is lacking fire power. This could be the year when we finally say it’s an end of the ERA for the Patriots. They might have to retreat for a season or two. But we know the evil master genius will hide in his cave and think of something bigger than what the Patriots have accomplished during this long lasting dynasty that just sickens people across the globe. They will gather up new reinforcements and be ready to try to retake the galaxy from the Resistance. Perhaps the Rebels will be waiting to stop that with a plan of their own. In 2019 regular season, things look grim in New England. Everyone hopes the misery flows through that organization like rats invading the sewers.