WEEK SEVEN
Week seven we take you to the best place to spend your bye week. TUA time in Miami as the Beard is out. We have a new king of the power rankings. Green Bay has fallen, but can they get back up? Antonio Brown is back!!! Hide your children. Has the Evil Empire fallen for good in New England? Will Tampa Tom make it all the way to the Superbowl with his Buccaneers?
OUR FOOTBALL MOVIE OF THE WEEK
#1.SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (5-0) UP ONE SPOT With the way the Green Bay Packers were crushed by the Buccaneers, Seattle is the next man up. The Seahawks remain undefeated on their bye week and take the king of the mountain in the Wild Shamrock power rankings. Seahawks were trying to get another weapon on offense as they were in on the Antonio Brown sweepstakes after the psychopath’s suspension was lifted. Training in the off season with Russell Wilson could not convince the controversial wide out to come to the emerald city. I think Seattle’s offense will continue to do well without Brown. Hopefully the Seahawks have some answers for their defensive unit over their break.
#2.KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (5-1) UP ONE SPOT The Chiefs got back on track with their visit to Buffalo on Monday Night. The Chiefs launched their ground and pound attack on the Bills on the rainy evening. They made Swiss cheese out of the Bills defensive unit. With the arrival of Le’Veon Bell, the Chiefs running backs may be thinking they will have their carries reduced with the ex-Jet signing with Kansas City. Bell still was going through the week Covid protocols and was not used.
Rookie Chiefs running back, Clyde Edwards-Helaire, gutted the Bills defense for 161 yards on the ground to show his head coach, Andy Reid, “Don’t be taking any carries away from me.” I’m Sure the Chiefs will find a way to get both weapons, Bell and Edwards-Helaire, enough action during each Sunday contest. It could be a tandem of backs to give the Chiefs a two-headed monster and give opposing defenses a Nightmare on Elm Street to remember.
#3.PITTSBURGH STEELERS (5-0) UP TWO SPOTS Last year Browns and Steelers were battles to the end in epic games as a helmet was even used as a weapon. Last year, Big Ben Roethlisberger was MIA due to an injury which cost him most of the season. Browns versus Steelers was looking like the clash of the titans with both teams doing well to this point and division rivals. Steelers defense made minced meat out of the Browns rushing attack that came in at number one in the league. Steelers held the Browns to only 75 on the ground. You can say Nick Chubb was out, but Browns still had the bitch slapper Kareem Hunt. Browns came into the game 12th in scoring and Steelers defense pounded the Browns like the dawgs they are, especially last season. Steelers have not played many good teams as the Browns have been the best and they destroyed Cleveland 38-7. The bad news is the Steelers lost their voice on defense. Devin Bush, the play caller in the huddles, tore his ACL and is out for the year.
#4.BALTIMORE RAVENS (5-1) SAME The Ravens have been winning. The team has feasted on NFC East teams and the wins look to me, unimpressive. Has the league caught up to quarterback Lamar Jackson? Ravens defense has been awesome, but it seems like the Eagles made the game close at the end. An Eagle team riddled with injuries and many of their play makers out. Last year, Ravens offense put up 40 points on these bad teams week after week. When the Ravens play the Steelers and other good AFC teams, I want to see how they do. Some say the Ravens lack another receiver for that offense.
#5.TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (4-2) UP 5 SPOTS
The Buccaneers have landed the Joe Davola of the NFL, signing Antonio Brown. Now Tampa Tom’s offense has Chris Godwin, Mike Evans and Antonio Brown… a very deep wide receiver core. Who the hell do you cover? Let’s not forget Rob Gronowski lined up at the tight end position. Bruce Arians has a dysfunctional family of multiple personalities to coach. Antonio Brown is a nut job. Leonard Fournette is a hot head. Dealing with the princess, Tom Brady. Gronkowski is an ogre. Then on defense, Ndamukong Suh, and on fireworks, Jason Pierre Paul. Coach of the year automatically for Bruce Arians, if Buccaneers win it all. Last week the Buccaneers made Aaron Rodgers look like a Bears quarterback.
Nadamukong Suh rekindled his relationship with Aaron Rodgers. Once Lion Suh played Rodgers twice a year and obviously these two do not like each other. Suh is known as a dirty player. When Jay Cutler wore out his welcome in Chicago, it was good to see him be thrown around like a rag doll from Suh. Oh yeah, once upon a time ago Bruce Arians once was in the building in Chicago and wanted to be the Bears head coach. Bears passed and went with Marc Trestman or somebody we can’t even remember now. Another bad Chicago Bears choice to tack up on the board as we;re running out of wall space.
#6.TENNESSEE TITANS (5-0) SAME The Titans offense is like trying to stop a train. Defenders are running from the Tennessee express locomotive barring down at them.
My problem with the Titans is their defense might haunt them down the road. Yes, this team is undefeated. The Houston Texans in a shoot out took the Titans to overtime. Titans put the Texans away finally in OT. I thought the Titans defense turned the corner versus the Bills by getting turnovers. After that win, Titans defense is back to running the streets like a whorehouse and giving up anything you want. They are still getting paid to be loosey goosey on defense.
Mike Vrabel is the head pimp of the operation. Want to see what the Titans will do versus the Steelers.
#7.CHICAGO BEARS (5-1) SAME Bears were able to beat Carolina, a pretty good team that was on the rise. I watched that game the Bears almost blew late, trying to kill the clock and giving it back to the Panthers in the last two minutes; only taking off like 20 seconds. Panthers missed some opportunities as well. Some drops by Panthers wide outs. Bridgewater over throwing some wide open guys. Nick Foles said after the game that the only thing that matters is if you win the game, even if it’s winning ugly. Winning Ugly is what the Bears are doing.
The Bears are the opposite of many teams. They need their offense to catch up with their defense. At least get closer. Nick Foles is a leader. Love to see him be that leader and get red hot behind center. Bears 5-1 record is still misleading because they could easily be like 3-3 or 2-4.
#8.GREEN BAY PACKERS (4-1) DOWN 7 SPOTS
Green Bay Packers and especially Aaron Rodgers were karated Suh kicked down the big slide in the NFL version of Chutes and Ladders. Packers had a 10-0 lead early in the game versus the Buccaneers and lost 38-10 as they were manhandled by the Buccaneer defense. The Packer defense coming in were getting credit on how they have played so far. That unit, Tampa Tom exposed.
You can pick many for the Boner of the game for the Packers. My vote goes to Aaron Rodgers.
#9.BUFFALO BILLS (4-2) DOWN ONE SPOT The Buffalo Bills have lost two games in a row. Last Monday the Chiefs came to Buffalo and were steamrolled by Kansas City’s rushing attack. Bills lost but played much better than they did versus Tennessee a week before the Chiefs game. Bills need to rebound like a person from a bad break up needs to jump in the sack with somebody else and just score. The Jets are that girl.
Head coach, Sean McDermott is putting the hammer down of this Bills team especially the defense.
The Bills need to respond and have a monster game versus the Jets to get back on track. I think McDermott will push all the right buttons to get this talented Bills team back to winning ways.
#10. CLEVELAND BROWNS (4-2) DOWN ONE SPOT The Browns hit a wall last Sunday, which around the league they call the Steel curtain. Baker Mayfield did not have his best game versus the Steeler defense. An early hit in the game could have caused Mayfield’s downfall last Sunday. Plus Baker Mayfield was dealing with injury during the week as he missed some practices. The Dawg pound are barking for back up Case Keenum to take over. Keenum the vanilla Ice quarterback, is obviously a one year wonder as he has bounced around the league ever since 2017. The year Keenum helped get the Vikings deep into the playoffs.
Browns head coach Kevin Stefanski who was coaching Keenum in Minnesota in 2017 said they are sticking with Baker Mayfield. Browns could rebound quickly with a rematch versus the Bengals this Sunday.
#11.INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (4-2) SAME The Colts have found themselves down 21-0 to the Bengals last Sunday. Phillip Rivers and Colts made a comeback and eventually won a game they should have probably won easily. Sometimes digging yourself a big hole like that, escaping from being put down, and stealing the W can spark a team. Colts head to the bye week feeling good and have a 4-2. Plus if they get down in the future the Bengal game might give this team confidence that they are never out of a game.
#12.ARIZONA CARDINALS (4-2) UP SIX SPOTS The Cardinals once again on the rise through the power rankings. The demolition of the Cowboys on Monday Night was priceless. The Cards beat up on the doormat of the league before the Cowboys, and broke a losing streak with an easy win over the Jets. I want to see what they do against a team like the Seahawks this Sunday, to see if this team is a contender or a pretender.
#13.CAROLINA PANTHERS(3-2) DOWN ONE SPOT I think the Panthers blew a few opportunities versus the Bears last week. Teddy Bridgewater was off the mark a few times, with pressure staring him right in the face. Bears forced turnovers, but Panthers hung in there until they very end. Plus Panthers wide receivers dropped some key balls. This is the way the cookie crumbles in the game of football. Thought the Panthers got rid of the soft cookies in their jar?
THE GHOST OF CAM NEWTON!!!!
#14.MIAMI DOLPHINS (3-3) UP 3 SPOTS The Dolphins are playing great football with another win. Ryan Fitzpatrick has been playing very well as the team is 3-3 doing the best they have done in years. Now the Dolphins are pulling the plug on the BEARD.
Ryan Fitzpatrick is out as starting quarterback, as he learned the Dolphins benching from ESPN. The journeyman who has traveled almost the whole entire league was in tears when he finally talked to one of the Dolphin coaches. Definitely someone dropped the ball in Miami on a few things. Handling the situation of the benching and not letting Fitzpatrick finish what he started. Now in Miami ….
The rookie from Alabama will get his first start when the Dolphins come back from their bye week.
#15.NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (2-2) SAME Things to do in New Orleans on your bye week.
#16.OAKLAND RAIDERS (3-2) Things to do in Vegas on a bye week.
#17.LA RAMS (4-2) DOWN 3 SPOTS Rams record of 4-2 is so misleading. The Rams have won 4 games, all teams from the NFC East. The 49ers division game on Sunday night shown to the nation. Rams are not the team you thought they were.
#18.NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (2-3) DOWN 4 SPOTS
Is it time to recycle the Patriots? Looks like the Covid virus went through their locker room like sand and rust on a imperial walker. Time to call the junk man.
PIC SANFORD TRUCK
When can we call head coach Bill Belichick, Big Dummy?
#19.LA CHARGERS (1-4) UP ONE SPOT Chargers are up one spot as they were on a bye week. Things to do in San Diego on a bye week.
Nothing like babes, beaches and mixed drinks. Whoops… San Diego moved to LA.
What brainiac wanted to leave beautiful beaches for Napalm smoggies in the morning? Well the two LA Charger fans should be excited about Justin Herbert.
#20.DETROIT LIONS (2-3) UP TWO SPOTS The Lions feasted on Jaguar meat last Sunday
It tasted like dry chicken. They remain king of all the jungle cats in the league. That might not say much as the Bengals and the Jaguars are like kittens compared to the Lions, who don’t have much roar themselves. Lions could reach 500 with a match up with the Falcons this Sunday.
#21.PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (2-4-1) UP 2 SPOTS The Eagles gave the Ravens last Sunday a battle, making it a game late in that contest. Then they played on Thursday and played a Giants team that had some confidence from winning their first game last Sunday. Eagles had to make a comeback in the second half and just got by the Giants late in that game, winning by 1 point. Eagles still have a pulse despite all the injuries. They probably are the best team in the NFC East. However that is not saying much, but they are in first place.
#22.SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (3-3) UP 5 SPOTS Jimmy Garoppolo, once upon a time ago, was Bill Belichick’s replacement for Tom Brady. But Owner Robert Kraft, and his Tom Brady fetish, was not on the same page as his coach. Now 49ers go into New England with Jimmy facing a Patriot team without Brady. What would have happened to both these teams if the Patriots kept Jimmy, and Tom Brady left years ago? Would San Francisco have had a chance to land Tom Brady’s services at the time? Last Sunday Jimmy Garoppolo was back to his old self and leading the 49ers to victory over a good Rams team.
#23.DENVER BRONCOS (2-3) UP 3 SPOTS Drew Lock is back behind center, and the Broncos go to New England and take down the Evil Empire in a nice upset. New England had problems with the Covid in the locker room. Which is an excuse because you can say the Broncos have been dealing with multiple injuries including superstars.
Broncos have some play makers emerging on this team for Drew Lock. Tight end Noah Fant and wide out Tim Patrick have been racking up some catches and yards. Both have two touchdowns each, coming into week seven.
#24.MINNESOTA VIKINGS(1-5) DOWN 4 SPOTS The Vikings continue to go down another level each week. Vikings gave the Falcons their first win of the season last Sunday. Kirk Cousins looks like a bad signing.
Viking fans may rather kiss a Moose’s butt than watch the Vikings every Sunday. Well, at least Viking fans have some nice shapely ice holes to keep them warm on a cold night.
#25.DALLAS COWBOYS (2-4) DOWN SIX SPOTS
America’s team is horrible. Can we make the Cowboys South America’s team? Maybe put that on the upcoming election ballot. Since the Boys are just bad, maybe they will not show them every week on all these networks. Why every week are the Cowboys on my television when I do not have Direct TV? The Cowboys need another good trade to rebuild. Send Ezekiel Elliot to some team for like six draft picks. Remember the Cowboys profited big time sending Herschel Walker to the Vikings. Ezekiel Elliot probably fumbled away those chances of any kind of a deal.
#26.CINCINNATI BENGALS (1-4-1) DOWN 2 SPOTS
I think the Bumbles are back in the fold in Cincinnati. The Bumbles had a 21 to 0 lead over the Colts last Sunday. The defense let Phillip Rivers storm back, and eventually the Colts won the game. Bumbles can bounce and, obviously they can’t tackle either. Maybe the Bengals should lose out and get a top draft pick to help their terrible defense.
#27.HOUSTON TEXANS (1-5) DOWN 2 SPOTS The Texans almost pulled out their second in a row taking the Titans to OT last Sunday. Texans defense is terrible this year as the Titans won the game in overtime which did not take long. Texans are another team in the NFL where the defensive side of the ball has been MIA all year long. Finally Deshaun Watson is playing better. J.J Watt… is he still with the Texans? Watt has been playing each week.
The porch light is on, but no one is home. Maybe Watt needs a new bulb. His brother in Pittsburgh has bright wattage bulb.
#28.ATLANTA FALCONS (1-5) UP TWO SPOTS The Falcons, like many teams when they fire their head coach, had the Interim coach take over and suddenly the team wins. Falcons Defensive Coordinator, Raheem Morris, gets promoted and Falcons are flying high. Falcons have a chance to win two in a row with Detroit coming to town in a very winnable game.
#29.NEW YORK GIANTS (1-6) UP 2 SPOTS The Judge gets his first win as head coach.
Joe Judge earns his first victory as the coach of the G-Men with a win over the Washington team. Giants on Thursday almost had two victories in a row, but came up short on Thursday night versus the Eagles. Giants defense is much improved from last year has been playing very well all year. Sterling Shepard, a much needed weapon for Daniel Jones on offense, was finally back on the field. Giants in that bad division are still alive to snag the bad NFC East division you never know.
#30.JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (1-5) DOWN 2 SPOTS Just what I thought and predicted that the Jaguars would be headed to the 30’s in the Wild Shamrock Power Rankings. The dumbest franchise in football has been thinking about benching Gardner Minshew if he continues to struggle behind center.
Only problem is Mike Glennon is the back up quarterback.
JACKSONVILLE MANAGEMENT WHO’S WHO?
#31.WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM (1-5) DOWN TWO SPOTS When you lose a close one to the New York Giants, where do go from here? Believe or not the Washington team is still in playoff contention in the NFC East. Eagles and Cowboys both have two wins only. The Washington team trails those teams by one game. Anything can happen. Is a playoff spot worth more than a top draft pick? If the Washington team made the playoffs, they would be ousted right away. Right now you only trail the Jets for the top draft pick in the league. The Washington team can’t even come up with a nickname, so how do you expect them to pick a poison?
#32.NEW YORK JETS (0-6) SAME
Maybe a nuclear explosion would be the best thing for the New Jets. Just hit the reset button, and start fresh with an all new roster of players and new coaches. Tensions are erupting in the Jets locker room even after the cutting ties with Le’Veon Bell. The meltdown is between head coach Adam Gase who’s living on the edge these days with his job. Looks like Greg Williams the D-Coordinator has put a bounty out on Adam Gase’s head.
That’s the old Greg Williams from his New Orleans days. Greg is rehabilitated from his days in the Big Easy. I think Greg Williams does not want to be head coach when Adam Gase is fired. Williams may have to jump ship with the women and kids to avoid that job. Or is it too late because this ship sank before the season even started?
The Wild shamrock 