NFL WEEK 16 POWER RANKINGS

It is not Christmas unless we throw Hans Gruber off the building. Week 16 of the Power rankings have the good, bad and the ugly of the NFL. We have teams on the rise teams, as well as bottoming out right before the post season. Who will make it to post-season? We have some ideas as it was another crazy week in the NFL seeing the Rams lose to the Jets. The first time the Jets are not in the last spot in the power rankings. Consequences? What is going on with the “Shower curtain” in Pittsburgh? We may provide answers. We may not. Week 16 with a snow ball attached to it. Merry Christmas and CHEERS!!!!!

#1.KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (13-1) Chiefs knock off one of the best teams in the league, the New Orleans Saints, last week with the return of Drew Brees. In the loss, the Chiefs lost their starting running back, the rookie Clyde Edwards-Helaire. Can Le’Veon Bell carry the load the next two weeks? Can Edwards-Helaire return and be effective in the playoffs? How will Bell do if he has to be the main back in the Chiefs game plan when the post season arrives? The bye week will be important for the Chiefs to get the number one seed and get the bye week. This will give their rookie running back more time to recover instead of relying on has-beens like Bell.

I’m sure Andy Reid has reprogrammed Le’Veon Bell since his arrival in Kansas City. Definitely more than one screw loose inside Bell’s noggin.

#2.GREEN BAY PACKERS (11-3) Aaron Rodgers is in the MVP of the year talk. The Packers are looking to seal the deal on the home field throughout the playoffs with the first round bye. Post season play in Green Bay on the frozen tundra of Lambeau, it will be hard to beat them in January. Does this Green Bay Packers team have any weaknesses? The defense of Green Bay is from time to time, a little sketchy. Green Bay usually plays with the lead. If that trend changes, can this team be stopped? Stopping the run will be huge because you can run on this team. Derrick Henry will be coming by this weekend and Titans will be trying to run the ball as many times as they can. Hunting season is still open as Saints and Seahawks are still in the hunt for the number one seed in the NFC. Maybe the Guys in the orange vests will be put on the wall as trophies

#3.NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (11-4) Saints offense exploded on Christmas day. Alvin Kamara ran like a possessed wild man and scored six touchdowns all on the ground. Kamara set three new Saints records as he helped his team break a two game losing streak.

Kamara has the most rushing touchdowns in one season with 16. Kamara’s six rushing touchdowns in one game is a new record. Plus those six rushing touchdowns give Kamara 21 total touchdowns for the year which is also a new record. Drew Brees looked better in his performance in his second game back since the rib injury. With the win, the Saints put the heat on Green Bay’s shoulders for the number one seed in the NFC.

#4.BUFFALO BILLS (11-3) The Bills win the AFC East with their blow out win versus the Broncos last Saturday in Denver. The last time the Bills won the AFC East was 25 years ago. As a fan this is the first time I can celebrate a Bills division title hoisting a beer legally. Now the Bills can kick the Patriots while they’re down and sweep the 2 game season series with a win on Monday night in New England

If only these stadiums had fans able to go, so the Buffalo Mafia could invade New England. Plus if Tom Brady was still quarterback for the Evil Empire, Bills fans could launch missiles in his direction which are dildos. A common name Tom Brady is called throughout the galaxy. Bills need to win still to move up on the post season food chain and get themselves a higher seed, especially with the Steel Curtain crumbling.

#5.TENNESSEE TITANS (10-4) We know about the Titans ground attack with Derrick Henry. The aerial attack of the Titan offense has also been deadly. Ryan Tannehill’s deep ball is one of the prettiest passes thrown in the league on a daily basis. Tannehill has 31 touchdown passes and only 5 interceptions, as he has cemented a permanent fixture behind center in Tennessee.

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Titans A.J Brown is far the best receiver with the name Brown on the back of the jersey in the entire league. Cory Davis makes this tandem one of the best in the entire league. They both combined for 15 receiving touchdowns so far in 2020. Titans have a big game versus the Packers. Plus they will be eyeballing the Colts and Steelers.

#6.BALTIMORE RAVENS (9-5) The Ravens have won 3 games in a row. They are sizzling hot as Lamar Jackson and company have scored 40 or more points in the last two games and are still on the bubble of getting into the AFC playoffs. The Dolphins won last night and are now 10-5. The Colts and Browns are 10-4. It would not be the first time a red hot team does not make it to the post-season. If they find a way to get in, the Ravens could be a sleeper with that underdog mentality of them against the world. The Ravens would still have that playoff monkey on their back, not winning their last two post-season games.

#7.TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (10-5) It looks like it’s the quarterback more than the coach. Tampa Tom has the Buccaneers in the playoffs for the first time in 13 years. Meanwhile the Evil Empire Patriots and Bill Belichick will be home for post-season. Buccaneers gutted the Lions last night. Tom Brady took the second half off as Blaine Gabbert, former Jaguar, continued to pour it, rubbing salt in the wounds of a bad Lion team.

Mike Evans will finally get his first chance and crack at postseason. He’s one of the longest tenured Buccaneer players on this squad and a big weapon for Tampa Tom.

#8.SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (10-4) Seahawks should win the division because Rams lost to the Jets last Sunday. You’d think the Rams would get kicked out of the league for that loss. Seahawks just hover around. They throttled the Jets. Russell Wilson and company had a quiet win over the Washington team without Alex Smith behind center. Seems like the Seahawk defense is getting better and healthier, which they will need. It will help to hold off the Rams, who have been able to beat the Seahawks the last few years as they have their number.

#9.INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (10-4) The rookie running back, Jonathan Taylor, for the Colts is having some big games in the last few weeks.

Taylor has rushed for 842 yards and should get to the 1000 yard plateau. Plus Taylor has found pay dirt with 7 rushing touchdowns. Colts use a few backs which I like. The less throws Phillip Rivers has to make, the better. Who is Zach Pascal? Quite a playmaker for the Colts, is who Pascal is.

Pascal has over 500 yards receiving and has 4 touchdown catches.

#10.PITTSBURGH STEELERS (11-3) Suddenly the Steel Curtain has turned into a hole ridden shower curtain.

Can the Steelers stop the bleeding? Three losses in a row. The Steelers defense is crumbling with injuries. Big Ben Roethlisberger looks old and as if his days are numbered. An embarrassing loss to the Bengals could revive this team this Sunday or this could be one of the biggest collapses of NFL history.

#11.CLEVELAND BROWNS (10-4) The Browns are conquering many of their demons from the past. The Browns have achieved a winning record this season. Last time the Browns made it to the playoffs was in 2002. Last time Cleveland Browns were a host of a playoff game, goes all the way back to 1994. Billy Boy Belichick was the coach back then for the Browns. If the Steelers collapse continues, Browns could steal the division.

#12.MIAMI DOLPHINS (10-5) Dolphins ended the Raiders playoff hopes on Saturday night football. Dolphins kept themselves in the hunt with a huge comeback victory in the 4th quarter in Vegas. Miami had some Fitzmagic in the 4th quarter. The struggling rookie, Tua Tagvailoa, was benched and journeyman Ryan Fitzpatrick gave the Dolphins a pulse and a victory. Some teams and people thrive in a pandemic. Miami, you can label them a sin town with all the strip clubs. Dolphins could make the playoffs and the announcement of another Ace Ventura Pet Detective movie in the works. What a year!!!

#13.LA RAMS (9-5) How do you lose to the Jets? The Rams team is so unpredictable because they can beat very good teams such as the Buccaneers and Seahawks. Then they lay an egg the following week. Rams defense, one of the top notch units in the game, should not lose to a bad Jets team. This loss could be the match to light a fire under this team. Rams head coach, Sean McVay, is 5-2 versus the Seahawks who they play this Sunday. Rams seem to have the hex on the Seahawks. Would not shock me to see the Rams rebound quickly.

#14.THE WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM (6-8) I hope Alex Smith is able to come back for the Washington football team. This team was rolling with Alex Smith knocking off the rust, finding his old mojo and ready to lead this team to the playoffs. I liked what Smith had with Logan Thomas, who is emerging as one of the league’s best tight ends.

Head coach, Riverboat Ron Rivera, plays his former team this Sunday. The team with no name defense for Washington, one of the best units in the league I’m sure will help their head coach secure a victory over the Panthers for Ron. They can try to grab the NFC East which is still on the line.

#15.CHICAGO BEARS (7-7) I remember when Lovie Smith was the head coach of the Bears and he would say the Bears come off the bus running the ball. Present head coach, Matt Nagy, never understood how important it is run the ball. Bears are suddenly alive and looking for the last wild card in the NFC. Mitch Trubisky has been reborn. David Montgomery has been getting the ball. Not like 8 times a game. Montgomery is getting a bulk load of runs in the last few wins. It’s part of the recipe the Bears are finally using with Mitch Trubisky’s strengths. The Bears defense has always been good but have stepped up their game. The fans are waiting now for the flop after the tease.

Could ex-Bear Mike Glennon come back to haunt Chicago behind center for the Jaguars this Sunday? Or will it be Green Bay in week 17? Cardinals lost last night. Bears are just waiting for once again the double doink to end their season.

#16.ARIZONA CARDINALS (8-7)

How do the Cardinals lose to a third string quarterback named C.J Beathard? Beathard threw three touchdown passes as the Cardinals turn over the ball like they were the third string quarterback. Cardinals had a huge chance to cement a wild card. Especially with the Vikings losing to the Saints on Christmas day. The Cardinals season is best described as a roller coaster up and down. Last night was a dud.

#17.MINNESOTA VIKINGS (6-9) The Vikings almost dug themselves out of the gigantic hole they dug early in the season. On Christmas day, the Vikings gave up 52 points. Once upon a time ago, the Vikings had one of the best defenses in the league. Head coach Mike Zimmer ripped his defense after the Saints win which knocked the Vikings out of the playoff picture on Christmas day. The Vikings offense have great receivers. The Vikings have one of the best running backs in the game with Dalvin Cook. Is Kirk Cousins a question mark? Could you find a quarterback from the draft and rid yourself of that high salary with Cousins? A move like that could free money up for your defense.

#18.LA CHARGERS (5-9) To the one Charger fan out there, are you buying this two game winning streak currently? If Chargers finish up strong, does this team bring back head coach Anthony Lynn? Is it justified from seeing bone-headed mistakes on personal changes in games?

Keenan Allen is having a great season with 100 catches in the bread basket closing in on 1000 receiving yards.

#19.VEGAS RAIDERS (7-8) A 4th quarter lead blown yesterday versus the Dolphins pretty much ends your playoff hopes. It’s another second half collapse. Is Chuck Jon Gruden going to have to worry about his job, even though he is in pretty much the beginning of a ridiculous ten year deal? Who would be some good Raider head coaches to replace Chucky if they decide to go down that road?

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#20.PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (4-9-1) Can you imagine if Jalen Hurts can lead the Eagles to a last minute playoff push and win the NFC East? Hurts could earn Nick Foles-like legendary status. The typical Rocky story, but this one risen from the dead. Hurts beat the Saints, the hottest team at the time. Hurts almost beat Kyle Murray and the Cardinals last Sunday. If Hurts can beat the Cowboys this Sunday, his legend will grow. Poor Carson Wentz is now complaining about his playing time. Did Eagle fans already burn their Wentz jerseys from the rise of Nick Foles?

The rest of the Carson Wentz jerseys can keep the Philadelphia homeless warm all winter.

#21.NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (6-8) The Evil Empire dynasty felt the collapse last week as the AFC East Title now belongs to the planet of Buffalo.

First time since 2008 the Patriots will be home for the playoffs. Looks like Tom Brady The Player, has the edge over Cheating Bill Belichick.

#22.CAROLINA PANTHERS (4-10) The leftover Panthers will play their old coach, River Boat Ron, this Sunday. If Cam Newton stayed healthy would Ron Rivera still be in Carolina? Panthers have been going through some growing pains in Carolina. The Panthers are a young team. The good is the Panthers have a pair of 1000 yard Receivers in DJ Moore and Robby Anderson. Panthers are a team on the rise.

#23.ATLANTA FALCONS (4-10) I guess we can pump the brakes on Raheem Morris as our next head coach in Atlanta. Same ole story, Falcons win the first half. Then they give away the game in the second half. Tom Brady once again has cut the throat of the Falcons with another comeback. Matt Ryan has cracked the top ten all-time list in touch down passes. Eli Manning is in his vision for who is next on that totem pole. Matt Ryan to the Indianapolis Colts next season would make the Colts a power house in the NFC.

#24.DALLAS COWBOYS (5-9) Surprised the Cowboys have been resurrected back to life. Cowboys have won two games in a row. Ezekial Elliot missed his first game of his NFL career dealing with an injury. No worries, the Cowboys replacement Tony Pollard did a way better job in his limited time than Elliot has done all season. Could Andy Dalton be working himself into the 2021 starting role behind center? Dalton looks like Ace Merrill from Stand by Me.

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Cowboys still have hopes for the NFC East title. Wouldn’t that be something if they won that division only playing one good month the entire year.

#25.SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (6-9) The San Francisco 49ers are by far the craziest team in the league. This is maybe the craziest season by any team in the history of the NFL. The 49ers have been dealing with injuries and players on and off the Covid list. The 49ers have won games with three different quarterbacks, and yesterday C.J Beathard beat the Cardinals. Beathard threw three 3 touchdown passes. The 49ers seem to just insert any ole running back they have in the back and they will scamper for a big day. By far the team with the longest transaction list. By far this team has used the most players in and out of the line up or to the Covid list or in and off the practice squad. The 49ers played in the Superbowl last season and have been without some big names all year. How do you explain a 1-3 record versus the NFC East?

#26.DENVER BRONCOS (5-9) Does John Elway have to find another quarterback once again? The legendary quarterback for the Broncos kryptonite is finding his man behind center? Is Drew Lock the guy? Lock is still a young signal caller who has been maybe trying to do too much and making mistakes. Ten games in a row, Lock has turned over the ball somehow. Is Head Coach Vic Fangio’s job safe as well? Some glaring questions in the off season that will need to be addressed.

#27.HOUSTON TEXANS (4-10) Deshaun Watson, without his star receiver Deandre Hopkins, was traded in the off season. Will Fuller has been suspended now a few weeks. Watson, in a bad Texan season, has thrown 27 touchdown passes and needs 32 yards passing for some new individual records for his own self. Watson shows me he can still sling the rock with the best in the league and make his surrounding cast better. Is Marvin Lewis coming to Houston as the new head coach? The former Bengal, kind of like a Bill O’Brien, wins the regular season but loses in the playoffs.

#28.CINCINNATI BENGALS (3-10-1) The Bengals showed a pulse since Joe Borrows’ injury. The Bengals with a stunning upset over their division rival, Pittsburgh Steelers. Talk about kicking a team when they are down.

Never dance on another man’s logo. Bengals’ Vonn Bell gave Pittsburgh’s law firm a tattoo of a hit on Monday night on Ju Ju Smith-Schuster. Schuster has been dancing on the team’s logo for several and finally he pissed off the wrong man. Vonn Bell knocked the ball out of Schuster’s hands on that play.

#29.NEW YORK GIANTS (5-9) I know the Giants have improved and still have a chance to actually win the NFC East. However they are not going to win anything with that pathetic offense they keep marching out there in the last 4 weeks. Giants are averaging 12.3 points per game since week 11. The defense has been very solid the entire season. Daniel Jones injury and Colt McCoy have been cold.

#30.DETROIT LIONS (5-10) Archie Bunker’s definition of the continental divide is maybe something the city of Detroit could use.

Archie Bunker said God was waiting for all the nuts and fruits to migrate to California. Bunker said that California, Missouri and Oregon sit on a shelf in the Pacific. When the great earthquake happens, all those states will wash away. Who needs Detroit? Sell Detroit to Canada. Then move the sports teams from Detroit to anywhere else in Michigan to get a fresh start. It’s not working in scum pit city, as they call Detroit, especially after being crushed by the Buccaneers yesterday. It’s obvious the Lions have thrown in the towel long ago. On the plus side, former Lion great Chris Spielman is moving from the broadcast booth to be a a part of the Lions front office.

#31.NEW YORK JETS (1-13) If you are Trevor Lawrence, you’re like “phew now I don’t have to go play for a bad New York team”. The long haired Lawrence did his own Jake the Snake Plissken impression from the movie and “Escaped New York”.

The Jets upset the Rams in which they were a 17 point dog. It’s nice to get an impressive signature win like that, but now you have to settle in the number two slot in the draft. Now Adam Gase will have to figure out how to save and improve Sam Darnold who was a quarterback picked in the first round only a few seasons ago.

#32.JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (1-13) Are the Jaguars the worse team in the league but smarter than the Jets? Jaguars have lost 13 games in row which is a new franchise record for this sorry arse team. The Jaguars put themselves in a better position with this 13th loss which could make them lucky ducks. Jaguars are now the leading candidate in the Trevor Lawrence sweepstakes.

The only way the Jaguars can screw this up is to hire someone who used to work in the Cleveland Browns front office. Perhaps if GM Ryan Pace becomes available, they hire him. The guy that passed on Deshaun Watson and Patrick Mahomes for Mitch Trubisky. Jaguars are the same team that stuck with Blake Bortles when they had a pretty good surrounding cast to make a run.