The NFL Power Rankings are back by popular demand. We have every team ranked and we have done it the Wild Shamrock Way, not holding back on anything. Our rankings may not be right as week 8 was crazy in the NFL. We drank a lot of beer, did not look through piles of data, and we may not have it right. If we were cold stone sober, we still may not have it right.

We are rolling out week 9 power rankings hope you enjoy.

#1.LA RAMS (7-1) What is DeSean Jackson looking for in life? The wide receiver wants out of LA. Rams released him because he wanted out. Rams are a team looking to get back to the Superbowl. Maybe Jackson is just not getting enough targets as most of these cry babies who play his position bitch about. Jackson seems he can only run one passing route. The go route. The bomb. Guess what the Rams did? They made a trade and landed a future Football Hall of Famer, Von Miller from the Broncos. Miller has 110.5 career sacks. Miller is older and has lost a step or two, but is teaming up with Aaron Donald so watch out opposing quarterbacks. Meanwhile Jackson will be home on the couch during the post-season, scratching himself while wondering what could have been.

#2.GREEN BAY PACKERS (7-1) Aaron Rodgers is a hill rod. This guy will be one of those characters from the movie, The Hills Have Eyes, when he’s done playing football.

First, the family feud with his own parents. Then you walk away from race car driver Danica Patrick. MORON!! Rodgers uses immunization as his word to disguise him not being vaccinated against Covid. Now Rodgers has Covid. Rodgers broke some protocols in the NFL as everyone thought he was vaccinated. I don’t care if you want the shot or not, or what you believe. Hiding it from your teammates is the problem. Can Green Bay win without Rodgers? Love to see Jordan Love take over and do well. Then the Packers can kick this cry baby hill-rod to the curb. Meanwhile Rodgers can get immunized behind the shed in the woods with a rusty needle filled with moonshine & injected by the State Farm guy.

#3.TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (6-2) I think New Orleans is Tampa Tom’s kryptonite. In sports, even when your team is a thousand times better then another team. It always seems one team can beat you on any given Sunday. Buccaneers and Tom Brady won the most important match-up versus the Saints last year in the playoffs. Saints have beaten the Buccaneers three regular season games in a row since last season. Buccaneers, if you remember in that playoff match-up versus the Saints, had to come back in that contest to win. Buccaneers head for a bye week in week 9. Tom Brady can restock his Flintstones Vitamins. GRONK may return in week 10?

#4.ARIZONA CARDINALS (7-1) Last week, if AJ Green had turned around at the very end of the game, would he have caught the pass for an Arizona win over the Packers? Instead Kyle Murray was picked up by the Green Bay defender and Cardinals suffered their first loss of the year. This could be a good thing for the Cardinals. The team could get hungry, mentally stronger, and get back on the winning track. How does the Cardinals defense play without JJ Watt?

Unfortunately, in this case it is like changing a light bulb. JJ Watt was over paid for his services and really did not do much. One sack and a few swats of passes. NEXT MAN UP!!!

#5.BUFFALO BILLS (5-2) Bills could easily be 7-0. Opening day, a few plays and blocked punt cost them versus Pittsburgh. Bills had the Titans game. A few plays in that one cost them the game. Especially with Josh Allen losing his footing as the offense went for a 4th down and inches at the very end of regulation in the red zone. Right now, Bills can feast on some bottom dwellers throughout the league and get ready for the tough match-ups starting in late November. The Hit list includes two games versus New England.

It would be good the to see the Bills send a message throughout the galaxy and stop the Patriots from building a new operational Death Star.

Let’s not forget the Bills’ old friend Dildo Tom Brady, who is now suiting up with the Buccaneers. A win versus Tampa Tom would be a revenge dish served cold dildo-style. Brady is public enemy number one in Buffalo.

#6.DALLAS COWBOYS (6-1) Can Dak Prescott stay healthy for the entire season? Cowboys beat the Vikings with Cooper Rush behind center last week. Cowboys are a different team without Dak Prescott. It’s like Seattle without Russell Wilson. Except the Cowboys defense has shown a significant improvement from last year’s shit show. Cowboys can rack up some victories because next time they play a team with a winning record is in week 12 which is the Raiders.

#7.TENNESSEE TITANS (6-2) Titans have been rolling after losing to a bad Jets team. Titans have knocked off the two teams in the AFC Championship last season, the Bills and Chiefs. The Titans finished off the sweep versus the division rival Colts last Sunday in overtime, but their tank sprung a leak.

Derrick Henry is out the rest of the year for the Titans. Titans may be dropping in the power rankings in the next few weeks.

#8.CINCINNATI BENGALS (5-3) How are the Bengals a top ten team losing to the Bears and the Jets? Bengals after a few plays could be right now 8-0. What convinces me that the Bengals are a good team is what they did to the Ravens in Baltimore two weeks back, putting up a 40 point berger. The Bengals have the recipe to be a top ten team. Bengals can get to the opposing team’s quarterback. The Bengals have a good running game. They have a number one quarterback. Plus a slew of play-makers who can catch the ball.

#9.BALTIMORE RAVENS (5-2) Ravens coming off the bye week under John Harbaugh is almost a guarantee win for Baltimore. Ravens were playing well on both sides of the ball before losing to the Bengals. Ravens should be healed having a bye week at a perfect time. Lamar Jackson already slayed one demon so far this season, Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs. I expect the Ravens will beat up the teams in their division the rest of the way and use that road to the playoffs.

#10.LAS VEGAS RAIDERS (5-2) Death to Chucky may be the best thing that has happened to Oakland.

Jon Gruden resigning means Raiders are a different animal. Raiders are playing better as a group. The Raiders are using all their play-makers. Even with the loss of Henry Ruggs, who was intoxicated and driving his corvette at high speed over 150 MPH, resulting in him killing someone. Raiders released Ruggs after learning what happened. Watch… the Raiders will still prevail without a wide receiver who was doing pretty good.

#11.NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (5-2) I thought the Saints defense lost too many guys on their defense that was impressive last season. Defensive End Trey Hendrickson signed with the Bengals and leads the league in sacks. Saints defense made Tom Brady’s age show last week in a big victory over the Buccaneers. Can the Saints win games without Jameis Winston, who is out for the rest of the season?

Was that a Trevor Siemian sighting behind center for the Saints last Sunday? The former Bronco, still in the league, did decently. Can Taysom Hill be the guy for the Saints? Don’t even mention Cam Newton signing… we have not gone to the bottom of the tar pits looking for help.

#12.CLEVELAND BROWNS (4-4) Releasing the dog of all dogs might be what the Browns need.

Odell Beckham Jr.’s father has a video out there on the clouds about how his son is not getting the ball. Odell has not said anything, so he must think what his pop did is the facts. Get rid of the cry baby receiver, the cancer of the locker room, and watch the Browns start playing better. Without Odell in the line up, I always thought Baker Mayfield did better instead of forcing the ball to the dog. Guess who’s back this Sunday for the Browns! Nick Chubb.

#13.KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (4-4) With Deshaun Watson having problems with the law. Patrick Mahomes is having by far the worst year he has ever had in his career. Does that make Mitch Trubisky, a back up quarterback in Buffalo. the man of the 2017 draft? Probably not. Chiefs can’t protect Mahomes on offense and can’t stop anyone on defense. Seasons ago, Chiefs found ways to improve their defense late in the season. I think many are thinking Patrick Mahomes will turn things around as well.

#14.NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (4-4) Patriots are getting better and better each week. Patriots beat a good and difficult Chargers team last Sunday. It’s funny how Mac Jones fell to Bill Belichick and the Patriots. Mac Jones, by far, is the best rookie quarterback out of the 2021 draft. People got mad that the Patriots cut the cookie, Cam Newton. It was Mac Jones explaining the playbook to Newton in pre-season. I can see the Patriots sneaking through the back door into the post-season or just missing getting in. Belichick is showing us his best coaching since Tom Brady left New England.

#15.PITTSBURGH STEELERS (4-3) If Steelers beat a bad Bears team on Monday, and go 5-3. If Browns beat the Bengals, both the Browns and Bengals will be 5-4. If Ravens lose to the Vikings, they will be 5-3. Things will get very interesting in the AFC North. Big Ben Roethlisberger’s arm is hanging on by a thread. The Steelers have won three in a row somehow.

#16.LA CHARGERS (4-3) The Chargers are still in the thick of things in the AFC West. Chargers started off great. LA has lost two in a row and in one of those games, they were blown away. Chargers are a team that can get to the opposing team’s quarterback as they lead the league in pressures. Justin Herbert is not regressing as he has 16 touchdown passes and only 6 interceptions. Last year, Herbert had 31 touchdown passes. Herbert is still on pace for his brief career numbers. Perhaps better numbers than last season. The Chargers could win that AFC West division as they have beaten the Chiefs already this season.

#17.SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (3-4) Beating the Bears is not a season changer. However, for the 49ers you can make that an argument. The 49ers drafted Trey Lance. Lance has not done well in Jimmy Garoppolo’s absence. When Jimmy plays the 49ers, they do very well. In his second game back since being sidelined, Jimmy Garoppolo helped the 49ers break their losing streak versus the Bears. That’s what leaders do. Jimmy is injury prone, but his leadership and winning percentage mean his teammates would follow him into black hole if he wanted them to. The first game back for Jimmy was in a monsoon versus the Colts.

#18.INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (4-5) Colts overtime loss last Sunday to the Titans did not frustrate them. On Thursday night, the Colts bombarded the Jets at Thursday night football. Colts will hover around the 500 mark until this team can string together a few victories in a row. Colts, a team who from last year have a well-balanced team on both offense and defense. Colts have a soft schedule coming up. Remember Colts had a brutal schedule their first three games of the season. Many close games lost this season.

#19.MINNESOTA VIKINGS (3-4) Vikings have a great offense. An excellent Running game. Great receivers. Kirk Cousins is playing well, but the record says different. Vikings defense has never been fixed the last two seasons. Vikings defense is better than last season, but not by much. Vikings can’t stop opposing teams regularly. Cousins’ numbers are great, but he can’t win the big game.

#20.SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (3-5) Last time Geno Smith won a game behind center was back in 2016. That was before last Sunday when the Seahawks destroyed the Jaguars.

In 2016, Smith was behind center for the Jets, where he came from before playing in Seattle. It’s simple. Seahawks need Russell Wilson if they want to have a winning record in this league. Smith is like Haley’s comet. He wins a game every 17 seasons. Seahawks have a laundry list of needs. Maybe these are reasons why Wilson would like to get out of Seattle. I’m surprised Pete Carol has not dressed up as woman and jumped ship, pushing the kids out of the way to get in one of those life boats to abandon ship.

#21.PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (3-5) Eagles baffle me. They ran the ball down the Lions’ throat last week. Three running backs for the Eagles had 12 rushes, at least. A few weeks back, Eagles ran the ball once before halftime. Eagles seem to only play one good half in each game. They dig themselves a hole early in the game and show fight to come back to fall short. Can’t play the Lions every week.

#22. CAROLINA PANTHERS (4-4) When I heard the news the Panthers wanted to throw in Christian McCaffrey in a trade to the Texans for DeShaun Watson, I thought they had lost their freaking marbles. Who will be back on the field first? Watson or McCaffrey? McCaffrey from an injury, instead of what they should do with Watson, take him away in cuffs. The Panthers also should end the Sam Darnold experiment. Darnold has thrown 8 picks in only 8 games for the Panthers. The Panthers made the questionable move and got rid of Teddy Bridgewater in the off-season. That move has blown up in your face by taking the Jets’ garbage.

#23.DENVER BRONCOS(4-4)

Broncos to me, actually did a smart thing by dealing their star linebacker Von Miller. Broncos receive two draft picks to perhaps end their search for a quarterback. That may not happen as John Elway better clone his younger self and suit him up instead of marching veterans and guys they keep missing in the draft behind center. Miller has lost a few steps. Two draft picks is a steal for Denver. Broncos I did not see winning the AFC West division. Denver can’t beat teams with winning records.

#24.NEW YORK GIANTS (2-6) Giants have lost nine games in a row in prime-time night games. Why are the Giants even on in prime-time? You’d think the Giants would be viewed when Captain Kangaroo reruns are on in the 4 AM hour or those commercials where the kitchen knifes can cut through a tin can.

Giants have not played a game where everything works like a well-oiled machine. The defense has regressed from last year, but lately they have been playing better. Too many injuries as well. Especially their play makers Saquon Barkley and free agent signee Kenn Golladay.

#25.WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM (2-6) Washington scalped their name Redskins & turned into just the TEAM with no nickname. The team looked to be on the rise last year. The defense was solid. Even the offense with a young quarterback was up and coming. This season the Team has regressed. The team is under heavy investigation by the league. Congress wants to get involved.

Definitely skeletons in Washington’s closet, ask Chucky Gruden about them. Maybe last year’s team is stuffed behind that door. Riverboat Ron Rivera, the head coach, must be going bat crazy. Thought that move by Washington bringing in Rivera would be the move to steer Washington back to the hey days, when Joe Gibbs was running things.

#26.CHICAGO BEARS (3-5) It takes Head Coach Matt Nagy to have Covid virus and at home for his young rookie quarterback Justin Fields to have his best game of the year. The Bears offense is the worst in the league. Finally the Bears offense were able to pass for over 200 yards, which did not happen in its first 8 games of the season. When it seems the offense of the Bears takes a baby step, the defense goes sour.

Bears need to hire a guy to get rid of the front office. Clean up the coaching staff. Make heads roll at Halas Hall.

#27.NEW YORK JETS (2-6) Only the Jets would find a better quarterback than the ones they drafted in the first rounds. Who is Mike White?

Mike White played college football at Western Kentucky. Mike White was inserted behind center after the Jets new franchise quarterback, Zach Wilson, went down with an injury. White threw for 405 yards with 3 touchdown passes leading his Jets past the Bengals. On Thursday, White was doing well versus the Colts and then left the game with an injury. Now that’s Jets football when it comes to the quarterback position. The Jets’ other win was versus the Titans. So either teams play down to New York’s competition level or the Jets know how to just snake bite good teams. Jets fans hope neither Mike White or their number 1 guy this season, Zach Wilson, will bring out the ghosts of Sam Darnold.

#28.ATLANTA FALCONS (3-4) The Falcons are not using the Braves’ plan of how to win your sports championship. The Falcons traded away Julio Jones in the off-season. Remember the Falcons offense was the only thing they had going for this team. Now Calvin Ridley is stepping away from the game for mental wellness.

The Falcons figured they can get rid of Julio Jones because they had Calvin Ridley, who’s been a star in the league. When will Calvin be back? No one knows, not even himself as his season numbers have been his lowest in his career. The Falcons defense has still not shown up to pre-season camp.

#29. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (1-6) Urban Meyer’s coaching record in the NFL means he is undefeated as a head coach in Europe. In the states, nothing but goose eggs. Last week, the Seattle fans gave Urban Meyer a shower of boos.

Urban Meyer was not even offered a lap dance.

Many thought Urban Meyer was going to turn things around in Jacksonville. Whatever the Jacksonville ownership touches turns into a disaster. What positive thing can you say about the Jaguars? They beat a bad Dolphins team.

#30.MIAMI DOLPHINS (1-7) Why were the Dolphins wasting their time trying to land DeShaun Watson? Dolphins would have gotten rid of important draft capital to see their new starting quarterback not even get on the field. Dolphins defense have gone from one of the best last season, to one of the worst this season. The Dolphins defense was once a turn-over machine and now they can’t stop any opposing team. You could say Tua Tagovailoa has not developed yet. However you can poke the Dolphin and say the offense have ran the ball the fewest attempts in the league.

#31.HOUSTON TEXANS (1-7) Tyrod Taylor was 1-0 as a starter and in week two, the Texans had the lead before he was knocked out of the game. Texans holding on to Deshaun Watson as the trade deadline passed and want a king’s ransom for their disgruntled employee. Maybe the Texans brass instead want to watch him get arrested at some point for being a bad boy with the girls in the sand box. Speaking of bad boys. Texan’s head coach David Culley and his defensive coordinator remind me of the movie, Wild Hogs.

Old guys over their head in an age crisis trying to latch on to one more ride instead of playing with the grandchildren.

#32.DETROIT LIONS (0-8) Lions’ season reminds me of the movie in the 1990’s, Mom and Dad Saved the World.

Only thing Lions do not have is the gorgeous Kathy Ireland on their squad. In the movie, the local group of people said, “What we lack in intelligence, we make up with great intentions.”

This quote sums up the Lions season except throw in lack of talent in the quote as well. Lions’ last perfect season was in 2008.