NFL STRAIGHT PICK-EM WEEK 9

Last week was the Halloween Massacre when it came to weekly picks. We were carjacked in the Mystery van that had our original picks, by these sociopaths. When we picked on the fly, it was our worst week of the year.

LAST WEEK’S RECORD (7-8)

SEASON STATS

OVERALL RECORD (83-39)

THURSDAY NIGHT RECORD (6-2)

MONDAY NIGHT RECORD (5-3)

WEEK 9 WE ARE BRINGING OUT THE BIG GUNS

THE THURSDAY NIGHT GAME

NEW YORK JETS AT INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

Who the hell is Mike White? White replaced Zach Wilson behind center and Jets upset the Bengals in a stunner last Sunday. Colts are playing much better than their record as they lost a tough one to the Titans last Sunday. The Colts at home will not take the Jets for granted and be prepared for the guy out of Western Kentucky that no one has ever heard of. Most likely White and where all Jets quarterbacks go down Sam Darnold Avenue and fizzle out. Jets can only beat teams with winning records. Colts are safe with their 3-5 record.

OUR PICK: COLTS

THE SUNDAY SLATE

ATLANTA FALCONS AT NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

Jameis Winston is out for the remainder of the year. The Falcons offense has been out most of the year already. The Falcons number one weapon, Calvin Ridley, is out of this contest. I think Taysom Hill can do a good job replacing Winston as he got some valuable experience last season filling in for Drew Brees. Saints will rely on their running game against a bad Atlanta defense. The X-Factor is the Saints defense.

Saints defense is one of the top units in the league and will do most of the heavy lifting if New Orleans wants to see the post-season this season.

OUR PICK:SAINTS

DENVER BRONCOS AT DALLAS COWBOYS

The Broncos traded away the heart and soul of their defense in Von Miller. Cowboys won last Sunday with Cooper Rush behind center. Quarterback controversy? Dak Prescott will be playing versus the Broncos. Broncos finally won last Sunday versus the team, but they still have not beaten a winning team. Cowboys defense should do enough to contain an average Bronco offense run by Teddy Bridgewater. Look for the Bronco defense to cave in without their leader Miller on that unit.

OUR PICK:COWBOYS

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS AT CAROLINA PANTHERS

PJ Walker will get the nod as the starting quarterback for the Panthers. The former Roughneck from the Houston team in the XFL.

It’s about time Panthers replaced Sam Darnold. Walker filled in for the Panthers last year and did well. Meanwhile the Patriots, aka the Evil Empire, are slowly quietly climbing the standings as they knocked off the Chargers last week. Look for a good defensive battle between the two teams. The evil genius, Bill Belichick, will pull the strings just right to confuse Walker Carolina Ranger. Patriots QB Mac Jones does not make the big mistakes and will make some plays for the win. Look for the Patriots to have a winning record at the end of week 9. The Rise of the Empire coming soon to a theatre near you.

OUR PICK:PATRIOTS

MINNESOTA VIKINGS AT BALTIMORE RAVENS

Ravens were torched the last time they were on the field versus the Bengals. Vikings lost another one on prime time to the Cowboys and their back up quarterback in a close one. Ravens teams coached by John Harbaugh have done an excellent job coming off the bye week. Ravens should be rested. Ravens probably have some guys returning from the injured list coming back. Vikings defense will have a hard time stopping Lamar Jackson and company who were playing well before the Bengal game.

Look for the Raven to fly above the Viking carcass left on the field when this is over.

OUR PICK:RAVENS

CLEVELAND BROWNS AT CINCINNATI BENGALS

The Bengals are going to trick and treat the Browns this Sunday like they received nachos and cheese in their Halloween candy buckets. Like the old cranky man that threw some popcorn in your bag when you were kids. The trick will be on the Browns with nacho cheese in their face. I like the Bengals coming back strong from their loss to the Jets. The Browns concern me with injuries piling up.

OUR PICK:BENGALS

BUFFALO BILLS AT JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

The Bills need these easy games right now when the schedule will get harder in late November. Jaguars looked very bad versus Seattle last Sunday losing to Geno Smith. Buffalo should easily run up and down the field on the Jaguars poor defense. The Bills defense should put Trevor Lawrence in many sticky situations where turnovers will occur that will haunt Jacksonville all day long.

Look for the Bills Mafia to invade Jacksonville like the invasion of the Capital building early this year. Except avoid the rioting. Bills Mafia may drink all the beer that Jacksonville has in the stadium.

OUR PICK: BILLS

HOUSTON TEXANS AT MIAMI DOLPHINS

Last time either the Dolphins or the Texans even won a game was week 1 of the season. This game between the Texans and Dolphins is like the dirtiest toilet bowl game in the history of these bathroom bowls. You would think some of the top college football teams in the nation could beat either of these two squads. The team that loses would be in line for the second pick in the draft. Lions have locked up the number one draft pick in the first week coin toss to start the season. I’m going Miami in this one. Teams have a hard time adjusting to humid conditions in Miami, even though Houston is from Texas. But that may be a dry heat.

OUR PICK:DOLPHINS

LAS VEGAS RAIDERS AT NEW YORK GIANTS

This match-up at first looked like a walk in the park for the Raiders. Giants match-up very well with the Raider team. Giants hung in all the way to the end versus the Chiefs. Chiefs are not playing well, but they still can light up the scoreboard on any given Sunday. Will the Raiders be affected by their teammate Henry Ruggs’ off the field accident that killed a person? Will the Giants have Saquon Barkley back in the fold? Raiders, since Jon Gruden resigned after his emails surfaced to the media, have played better. I can see the Raiders also overcoming what Henry Ruggs did. Raiders have used all of their weapons on offense and have played much better and scored more points then Gruden calling the plays. Look for the Raiders to win a close one on the road.

OUR PICK:RAIDERS

LA CHARGERS AT PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

Both these teams screwed me last Sunday. Eagles flew high in routing a bad Lion team. Maybe the Eagles knew most of the nation were picking the Lions for a first win over their squad. Meanwhile Chargers got a dose of the new Empire on the rise versus New England.

Look for the Eagles to unload quick passes on the Charger pass rush. Eagles power running game will be the factor versus that Chargers attacking defense. I like the Eagles for a change, striking first and holding on for dear life at the end for a victory at home.

OUR PICK: EAGLES

GREEN BAY PACKERS AT KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

It was going to be the State Farm bowl between Patrick Mahomes and Aaron Rodgers.

Aaron Rodgers is out with Covid. With the news of Rodgers not playing, the Chiefs became the favorite in the latest betting line over a touchdown. I like the upset in this one. Patrick Mahomes has played poorly in his last several games. The Chiefs offense is running like they have the Denver boot on their wheels of a whole. The Packers running game will keep Mahomes sidelined most of the game. Look for Packers running backs, two headed monster AJ Dillon and Aaron Jones, to get chunks of yardage off that Chief’s defense. Back up quarterback Jordan Love won’t have to do too much. I bet Love will show the league a few things and make some nice passes because they drafted him to replaced the cry baby Rodgers.

OUR PICK:PACKERS

ARIZONA CARDINALS AT SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

Can Arizona recover from their first loss of the season handed to them by the Packers? Jimmy Garoppolo is back behind center and what do the 49ers do? Win in Chicago last Sunday. I think the 49ers will ground out the Cardinals running game. Can the Cardinals defense go on without JJ Watt who is out for the season? This will be a close game. Cardinals took the first game versus the 49ers this season by a score of 17-10. Cardinals protection offensive line caved in versus the Packers last Thursday. I think the 49ers have a better front and can disrupt Kyler Murray.

And Jimmy knows how to win. The 49ers are just a better team with Jimmy healthy behind center.

OUR PICK:49ERS

TENNESSEE TITANS AT LA RAMS

Rams have been shopping getting a last minute purchase before the deadline, bringing Von Miller over from Denver. Titans going back into time hoping and praying that Spanky Adrian Peterson can find the fountain of youth before he puts on a Titan jersey. Rams defense will key in on the passing game from the Titans. With the injury to the Titans super star running Derrick Henry, the play action pass will not thrive like it did when he is in the line-up. Ryan Tannehill needs the play action pass. If Tannehill passes the ball most of the game, it goes in the Rams favor. Rams offense should score off a Titans defense that has gotten better recently but rely on turnovers. Rams offense is disciplined not make stupid mistakes.

OUR PICK: RAMS

THE MONDAY NIGHT GAME

CHICAGO BEARS AT PITTSBURGH STEELERS

Both teams have struggled with their offense this season. Bears running game is the lone bright spot for the Bears offense. Too bad the Steelers defense, their bread and butter, can put a halt to the Bears running game. Steelers have won two games in a row. The Bears defense has done their own vanishing act in the last few weeks. My key to the game is the Steelers have a way better coaching staff than the sizzling seat of Matt Nagy and his disciples.

OUR PICK:STEELERS