Currently the NFL has eight vacancies for head coaches. Out of the eight teams, which ones are playoff ready today if I signed up? Which places does the ownership send out red flags? If I was head coach and wanted a job, where would I go? I have ranked all 8 destinations from worst to first. I have pros and cons for each city. I have what is in place right now and what is not. I also judge the city on its fans and the state they live in. Off the field is very important in any job for family and your own psyche.

WORST DESTINATION: JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

Jacksonville Jaguars to me would be the worst destination out of all the head coaching vacancies.

CLOWNS TO THE LEFT OF YOU JOKERS TO THE RIGHT

Being the head coach of the Jaguars, you are stuck in the middle of things with the fans and ownership. Fans dressing up as clowns in the Jaguars’ last home game paints a thousand words right there. Most of the clowns looked like the Joker, Jaguars owner Shahid Khan. Khan has made money as a business man. Maybe had a silver spoon in his mouth all his life. If Khan had his way, he’d have the Jaguars playing in London, England across the pond. Not very football savvy. Khan’s football hires all have been questionable. This is a guy who does not get what it takes, or how, to run a professional football team.

JINXED AT QUARTERBACK

The quarterback position is the most important position on the field. When it comes to a field general behind center, the Jaguars are snake bitten. Mark Brunnell seems to be the only quarterback that was half way decent for this franchise since its existence. These are the same Jaguars that gave Blake Bortles an extension because the team had a winning season. Bortles was the weakest link on that one year wonder of a team.

Trevor Lawrence, AKA Jeff Spicoli, might be a bust. Lawrence may be heading down Ryan Leaf avenue. Will Shahid Kahn expect you to fix Lawrence, which might result in more years of taking on lumps from other teams.

THE PROS OF THE JAGUARS JOB

Right now the team has a pretty good defense in place. Jacksonville is probably the third city of the state of Florida so media as well as fans would be easier to handle. You might have some time to build a winner down there. Fishing and living on the beach with warm weather all year around could be intriguing. The babes on the beach there might not be that interesting.

7TH BEST DESTINATION: HOUSTON TEXANS

HOLDING WATSON FOR RANSOM

The Houston Texans ownership and their franchise quarterback have been in some kind duel at high noon but no one is drawing their weapon. Deshaun Watson wanted out of Houston. Watson wanted or was told he was going to be a part of hiring process of a new General Manager and coach. Texans decided those hires should not be a group effort. Then Watson has been having problems with understanding what massage therapists do. How far they will go? Watson has over 20 allegations of sexual assault complaints filed against him. When will those complaints be solved? Will Watson be put behind bars? The Texans could have traded Watson but are holding out for a kings ransom. This is why the Texans continue to pay the contract of Watson while these complaints hopefully go away. Watson is paid not to play and be inactive every Sunday but has a roster spot. As a new coach do you really want to step in this kind of drama involving the biggest position on your roster?

PULLING THE PLUG

Owner Cal McNair pulled the plug on head coach David Culley after only one season. Culley could not convince Deshaun Watson to play for the Texans last season instead of demanding a trade. This of course was before Watson groped the help. Culley had the Texans playing better late in the season. Culley had to rely on rookie quarterback Davis Mills most of the year as veteran Tyrod Taylor fizzled out. Only getting one year in Houston coming into a hostile situation is what Culley had to deal with the owner is a problem.

FORMER TEXANS

Players like JJ Watt and DeAndre Hopkins, two great super stars, leave Houston with a bad taste in their mouth. Will this be a problem signing free agents in the future for the Texans? Will the Texans have to over pay for mediocrity?

THE PROS

Rookie Davis Mills did get some good experience being thrown into the wolves last season. Mills improved his game the more he played. Mills could be a decent back up. Can a new coach get Mills to take the next step?

THE DEFENSE

Defensive coordinator Santa Claus, Lovie Smith, had the Texans defense at the end a turnover machine. Texans beat up the Chargers in the last few weeks of the season when the defense created some mistakes by Justin Herbert that Sunday.

Not sure I like the weather in Houston, a dry heat. Warm weather rather than cold weather can be a difference maker. If you like Space, getting a tour of NASA could be cool. The Bad News Bears had one of their movies filmed in the Astrodome.

Making fun of Dusty Baker, the manager of the Houston Astros, and all the wrist bands he wears. Whatever you wear Baker would be the pun in everyone’s jokes in town when it comes to being the coach of one of the professional sports teams in town.

CONS

Hurricane season can put a damper on things. Being the second fiddle to the Dallas Cowboys in the state of Texas. The baseball team in Houston is a roster of cheats.

#6. SIXTH BEST DESTINATION: NEW YORK GIANTS

THE MEDIA

Any job in New York City you have to have tough skin such as to take this job with the Giants. New York is the biggest media market in the United States so dealing with the reporters, you have to have that down to a science. In the city that never sleeps, you have to have all your players in line and not out becoming front page news off the field. Reporters will dissect your coaching like the frog you cut up in Biology class.

THE FANS

The fans in New York demand a lot and can be very patient like. If you show any weaknesses, fans will eat you up like a zombie feasting on your guts. The pressure of winning is escalated before they want to run you out of town on the rail with no car.

KEEPING THE JONES

Do the Giants have an answer at the quarterback position with Daniel Jones? Jones has 3 seasons under his belt so far and has completed 62% out of his passes so far with 45 touchdown passes and only 29 interceptions. Jones’ overall record is 12-25. Jones missed some games with injuries. Jones has shown some flashes of being a good option in this league as well.

THE BAD

Giants are in cap space hell with a roster that still has holes. The Giants do not have any middle class when it comes to their roster breakdown. The Giants will be looking for a new General manager as well. If you don’t get a guy to fix the numbers on the cap space, this job might take you awhile to get things going in the right direction.

OFFENSIVE LINE

The Giants need help on their Offensive line. Giants maybe have one decent option in place on the line. Adding some pieces to the line would help Daniel Jones even get better and most importantly keep him healthy.

THE PROS

THE DEFENSE/ THE DIVISION

Last two seasons the Giants defense has been a very decent unit in the NFL. Yes the Cowboys and Eagles made the playoffs. Obviously one team has to win the dreaded NFC East. Notice the Eagles and Cowboys are already knocked out of post-season. The division is very winnable.

If you can win regularly in New York, the accomplishment is bigger than most jobs in sports. New York jobs are the hardest so to beat the odds is a higher award of achievement.

New York, if you like eating at the fanciest restaurants, the Big Apple has them. Food-wise New York is a top city where your tummy would be happy. Always something to do around the city from sports, Broadway shows, museums and the history of the New York is amazing.

THE 5TH BEST DESTINATION: CHICAGO BEARS

OWNERSHIP: The Chicago Bears cleaned house of Matt Nagy as head coach and Ryan Pace as General Manger. Last year both of them should have been gone. Ownership has an accountant as the President of Football operations. Look at the last few head coach hires of the Bears. It’s a laundry list of losers. Marc Trestman, John Fox and Matt Nagy. Bears are so incapable of finding the right guy to run this historical franchise they have to go outside the organization and ask for advice from former greats that held front office positions. Bears have only been to two Superbowls since the Superbowl ERA started. The Bears have not won a Superbowl since the mid 1980’s. That says it all.

SINCE MCMAHON LEFT

Since Jim McMahon was traded away to the Chargers, the Bears have not really had any stable foundation behind center. Sure the Bears had some good years with the likes of Jim Miller and Erik Kramer. Even McMahon was not the greatest, but he won games and did not beat himself. You have to go way back in the time machine as Sid Luckman in the 1940s era is still the best quarterback Bears ever had. Jay Cutler has all the passing records, but we know he is just a dog that needs to be put down. The Bears’ Christmas list of quarterbacks all have been on the naughty list. Just sucking.

HOPEFUL

Is Justin Fields the answer for the Chicago Bears at quarterback? Fields has a nice deep ball and a guy that can pass and use his legs. Can Fields be the next type of guy like Josh Allen? Did we not see Fields enough last year to really get a fair judgement? This is the biggest question any coach will have taking the Bears gig. Do they have a franchise quarterback in place?

THE BAD

THE MONEY

Bears money is all tied up in that defensive front. The defense is an aging unit and the window for success is being help open by shim. The Offensive line is a turnstyle. The Bears have not invested their money to protect the quarterback. Justin Fields missed some games this last season due to broken ribs. Bears new hires would have to free some of that money from the aging defensive players and put it elsewhere because the roster has many holes to repair.

DRAFT PICKS

Bears in the Ryan Pace era used their draft picks like toilet paper trading piles away to move up a few spots. Bears come in with no number one picks. As they traded that future pick just to move to get Justin Fields. During the Ryan Pace years the Bears never hit on any of their top picks. These picks would go elsewhere and get developed. Good news the Bears will have a new General Manager and if they get it right that would be half the battle.

THE CONS TAKING THIS JOB

Downtown Chicago is a complete shit hole. Crime continues to sky rocket. Businesses are closing up shop for good. More companies having their people work from home leaving the streets of downtown Chicago mostly to the rats, thieves and homeless.

Cold weather and the team plays outside.

THE MEDIA

Chicago has one of the biggest media markets in the states. Bears are the team that all Chicago people seem to migrate towards. The media will be all over the new coach and questioning your scheme every Sunday like Clockwork Orange.

THE PROS

Greatest pizza in the world.

The Bears may move from the city of Chicago, head to the Northern burbs to take over the Arlington Park Horse Racing track, and build a brand new stadium. Be a part of history. A new stadium with the Bears owning it would certainly bring the franchise to modern ages and they’d be able to compete with the big dogs.

If you win in Chicago, you never have to buy your own drink or meal ever again. Ask Da Coach. All those Bears players from that 1985 team are still the toast of the town.

4TH BEST DESTINATION: DENVER BRONCOS

ELWAY TRYING TO FIND A QUARTERBACK STILL

John Elway you think would know what a quality NFL quarterback looks like. Obviously once upon a time ago Elway played that position and played it very well. This season the Teddy Bridgewater experiment did not work. Drew Lock has some seasoning but still is not the answer for this franchise that can’t find that guy behind center.

INHERITING

The Denver job has two great things in place. If you do find a quarterback, the Broncos have some nice play makers in place with Tim Patrick, Noah Fant and Courtland Sutton. Former Broncos head coach Vic Fangio leaves a solid defense intact for the next coach as well.

THE CONS

THE AFC WEST

The AFC is one of the strongest divisions in the league. Chiefs still have Patrick Mahomes as their quarterback as he will be hitting his prime. Chiefs are still in the playoffs. The Raiders made the playoffs and were knocked out last week. The Chargers should have been in the playoffs, but mathematics, which is the new math, the new stat probably kept them out. Chargers have a stud quarterback Justin Herbert who established himself in his first two years of the league.

THE PROS

Colorado is a beautiful state. Broncos probably practice with mountains in the background. If you are a head coach that loves the outdoors like fishing, hunting, skiing, and hiking, the Bronco job would work well. I’m from a big city and Colorado sounds marvelous just tapping in the keys.

Something about a ski bunny by the fireplace sipping on a hot beverage of booze. Lots of cool log cabin type bars drinking IPA’S & eating comfort food in the winters.

3RD BEST DESTINATION: MIAMI DOLPHINS

WHY DID BRIAN FLORES FIRED?

Are the Dolphins irrational for firing Brian Flores after this season? The Dolphins were one of the hottest teams in the league this season. Dolphins got off to a bad start as they dug themselves in a hole. Bears win three games in a row and Bears brass would keep you on for another year. Dolphins missed the playoffs the last two seasons by a game. Flores had his players playing hard. Taking the Dolphin job you may be dealing with idiots as bosses. How many jobs have we had where that statement is true?

SOUTH BEACH ADVANTAGE

Many teams have a playing advantage at home. Cold weather towns. Dolphins have the high heat with a very high humidity teams like the Patriots with Tom Brady or without, would have hard times winning in South Beach because of the conditions.

TUA TIME????

Is Tua Tagovailoa the man behind center for years to come in Dolphinland? Tua is no Dan Marino. Dolphins are another team that has been looking for their next franchise quarterback to replace the a former legend, in the Dolphins case Dan Marino. In two seasons, Tua is 13-8 as a starter. Tua went 7-5 for Miami this season. Tua has his moments. Is Tua going to be that guy like Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers where you know they are going to go the distance down the field and win the game for you? Probably not. In Miami you may be searching for your next quarterback.

CAP SPACE

Dolphins are a team right now that can take that next step to get into the post-season. If they need a certain free agent, they have plenty of cap space available.

THE PROS

Jaylen Waddle was very impressive in his rookie season with the Dolphins. Waddle may be that one legit future play maker for years to come as he showed the league he is a weapon of mass destruction.

THE DEFENSE

If the new coach runs the defense like Brian Flores did the last few seasons, they have guys that can force turnovers. Dolphins defensive unit was awesome at forcing fumbles and ball hawks getting interceptions. You would hope the next guy would run the same system and add to their strength.

LIVE BY THE BEACH/ ENJOY THE NIGHT LIFE IN MIAMI

Living by the water. Hot weather. Playing motor boat. Sailing.

THE CONS

AFC EAST

The Bills are in your division. Buffalo is an AFC Power house. Bill Belichick rebounded after his first season without Tom Brady and got the Patriots back into the playoffs. Could Belichick get his team even better next season and become the thorn in your sides for years to come. The Jets are due to get a franchise quarterback at some point with all the top picks they get and use for that position. Maybe not, so you might be safe with the Jets in that division.

Management: not knowing why Brian Flores was fired.

Fake people.

SECOND BEST DESTINATION: LAS VEGAS RAIDERS

BAD HAIR CUT

Seeing owner of the Raiders, Mark Davis’ ugly hair cut every day would drive me nuts. Looks like he should be cast in the movie Dumb and Dumber

INHERITING A PLAYOFF TEAM

If the Raiders don’t hire their interim coach, you would inherit an established playoff team. Raiders have plenty of good things on their roster on both sides of the ball. You can build off this roster and even make it better.

OFFENSE

Is Derek Carr your future quarterback? Yes, you could upgrade. Having a Derek Carr on the roster already and improving around him can work as well. Josh Jacobs is a nice running back in place. Did Hunter Renfrow emerge as more than just a possession receiver?

DEFENSE

Raiders need to build around Mad Maxx Crosby. This guy has become a legit pass rusher in the NFL. If Raiders could get another pass rusher on the other side of the field, things could get very interesting for Vegas.

PRO

Living in Las Vegas gives you plenty of stuff to do. Warm weather. Raiders have a brand new state of the art stadium in place.

GREAT FANS

Raiders are die hard fans. Even when they move from town to town, Raider nation sticks with the silver and black.

Plus you can wear your Halloween costume more than once a year.

THE CONS

You would have invest in UBER for your players going out at night. Maybe a car service or ankle monitors to stop and prevent this team leading the league in DUI’S.

THE AFC WEST

Patrick Mahomes is still in the playoffs. Mahomes is about to reach his prime. Derek Carr may be the old man quarterback of the division. Justin Herbert and the Chargers are solidified and a team on the rise. If the Broncos somehow find their guy behind center, Raiders will be battling arch rivals tooth and nails every year just to get to the post-season. No easy lay ups.

THE VEGAS TEMPTATION

The food will make you fat. The hookers will get your cardio intake. The excitement level might be too much for the ole ticker to handle. You might catch something you don’t want. Then gambling will take whatever you have left in your wallet. Too many vices for some people.

BEST DESTINATION: MINNESOTA VIKINGS

DEFENSE, DEFENSE AND DEFENSE

If you can fix the Viking defense, you may have something special. How many leads did the Vikings blow this year? How many leads did the Vikings blow late in the game? If you’re a defensive-minded coach, you may find a way to get this unit to play in the middle tier of the defenses in the NFL… instant playoff team.

RUNNING GAME

Dalvin Cook is a top tier running back in the NFL.

WIDE RECEIVING CORE

Justin Jefferson and Adam Thielen are one of the best 1-2 punches in the entire league at the wide receiver position.

QUARTERBACK

Kirk Cousins had an awesome year. If the Vikings fix the defense, Cousins would not have all the pressure to win the big games on the big nights all the time. Cousins did win the shoot out versus the Packers and Aaron Rodgers who can sling with the best of the NFL. If Cousins has a running game, which he does. With the play makers the Vikings have, Cousins could be a guy behind center for the Vikings for the next few seasons. Then you can pay full attention on fixing the defense.

THE PROS

Ownership gave Head coach Mike Zimmer years and years to get the job done. Patience is good if you take the job with the Vikings.

Vikings play inside so the cold will not be a problem taking a job in Minnesota. Vikings stadium is relatively brand new as well, so your team would have the luxury with the state of the art facilities.

NFC NORTH

If Aaron Rodgers leaves Green Bay after his revenge tour, the Vikings would have a very easy route to the playoffs. Without Rodgers, Green Bay would fizzle. Lions and Bears are just wounded animals that need a lot of repairs on their current rosters.

Minnesota is a beautiful state. Having a place by a lake would be relaxing for a new head coach. Outdoor activities include hiking, fishing, ice fishing and hunting.

Cool places to drink such as many popular breweries. I picture some of those log cabin bars with fire places in the winter as well.

THE CONS

It does get cold in the winter with lots of snow in the forecast living in Minnesota.

Can you entice free agents to come up North and have them relocate to the state of Minnesota?