Here we go again as we welcome another Spring Football league into already a crowded sports mix. It is football, so like a flaming car wreck found on the highway we have to watch. The USFL has resurrected and they will be playing their first week on Easter weekend… how fitting. We have seen the Covid-19 Virus invasion shut down the XFL part two in the middle of their season. Part two of the XFL was way better than part one in the 1990’s. Then the American Alliance (AAF) ran out of money in 2019 and that league folded like a house of cards being put up in a windstorm. All’s the USFL has to do is complete the regular season just to do better than these leagues from the past. I will get invested and perhaps the USFL can have post-season play with a championship, which sounds like a novel idea. This USFL has money. This USFL has their games on television just like the others. This USFL has a green glowing football.

It’s Fox, who brought you the glowing puck in their NHL games, what do you expect? The USFL has no Donald Trump in this go around. This league may work. It was a fun league to watch in the 1990’s and gave the NFL a run for their money. The NFL took a lot of genius ideas from the original USFL. We expect the NFL to be watching once again to take the new genius ideas this USFL will impose. I will throw out my first edition of the USFL power rankings. This is before the season even begins so I’m expecting to be wrong on most things. Maybe once I warm up by week 4 like the quarterbacks of the USFL, I should be able to razzle and dazzle you with my weekly power rankings.

#1.MICHIGAN PANTHERS

They say history intends to repeat itself so the Panthers get my number 1 ranking coming in because in the original USFL they won the very first championship. Head Coach Jeff Fisher always has a pretty good defense backing him in all those teams he was head coach of in the NFL. Fisher has assembled a nice defensive unit from experienced players of Spring leagues past. The Panthers could use soft Cam Newton, former Carolina Panther, as their quarterback. Panthers of the USFL and Panthers of the NFL had very similar uniforms and pretty much the same helmet logo. Fisher has his quarterback room looking good which is the biggest key. Shea Patterson, a 25 year old former Wolverine, has plenty of experience in the CFL. Patterson clung on to multiple NFL camps before Canada, soaking in intelligence. Back up quarterback has the Panthers signing Paxton Lynch former Bronco of the NFL.

Fisher has himself a 1-2 punch behind center if needed. Paxton Lynch could actually find out if this quarterback thing is worthwhile in years to come.

#2. NEW ORLEANS BREAKERS

The Breakers have assembled a nice defensive front to KILL THE QUARTERBACK!!! Breakers have former Bulldog Davin Bellamy with a nice front seven on the defensive front, including a rag tag bunch with names like Andre Saint-Amour, Christopher Okoye and James Folston Jr. Breakers might have found a group like the Ukraine Red Dawn unit giving the Russian military fits.

At quarterback the Breakers have Kyle Sloter from Northern Colorado. Sloter may not be the best quarterback in this Spring football league, but the man has some big weapons to throw to. Johnnie Dixon and Shawn Poindexter, to me, might be the best 1-2 point in the entire league at the wide receiver position.

#3.TAMPA BAY BANDITS

When the Bandits played back in the 1980’s, Burt Reynolds was part owner of the team. Bandits need a celebrity mustache in present times.

I nominate Mr. Blue Bloods, the original Magnum PI, Tom Selleck. The Bandits have some NFL experience on the defensive side of the ball. The Bandits probably on paper have the best quarterback in the league. Jordan Ta’amu is a duel threat who was impressive for the St. Louis Battlehawks of the XFL remake in 2020. My only problem is Todd Haley is the head coach and gets my vote for biggest dirt bag in the entire league. Can Todd Haley manage his big ego and keep it in check before he arrives at the field.

#4. BIRMINGHAM STALLIONS

The Stallions have the home field advantage the entire year as all the games in the USFL will be played on-site in Alabama. The Stallions have built one of the best defenses in the entire USFL. I think defense will be able to take advantage of bad quarterback play for at least the first few weeks of play. The Stallions are very Scappy-like and may have the best linebacker in the league.

Dish out the Scooby snacks in the stands in Birmingham. Scooby Wright has played in the NFL. Scooby has been a raving dog unleashed in Spring Leagues of the past such as the AAF and the XFL.

#5. PITTSBURGH MAULERS

Maulers by far have the best logo in the entire USFL reboot.

Maulers have somewhat of a quarterback controversy brewing. Josh Love or Kyle Lauletta?

Kyle Lauletta has the NFL experience playing for the New York Giants. I love the WAC Conference in College sports. Josh Love showed me the love at San Jose State University, a young gunslinger just lighting up the skies with missiles, hitting his receivers in stride. Maulers have that insurance policy if something goes wrong with one of their guys.

#6. PHILADELPHIA STARS

The Stars, back in the 1980’s, was the best franchise if you are counting victories and championships of which they won two of those. Stars made some great finds back then.

Short and stout linebacker Sam Mills wrecked havoc on opposing teams in the USFL. Mills then went on to the NFL and did the same thing for the Saints and the Panthers. Could the Stars quarterback Bryan Scott be that next Sam Mills to show the world his talent behind center?

Bryan Scott was tabbed the name of Aaron Rodgers of the division three of College Football. Scott could be the sleeper quarterback in this years USFL.

#7. HOUSTON GAMBLERS

No Jim Kelly and the run and shoot offense this go around in the USFL for the Gamblers. Houston will rely on instead a duel threat quarterback, former Big Ten star from Northwestern, Clayton Thorson.

Thorson has been in the huddles in the dreaded NFC East with the Eagles, Cowboys and Giants. Thorson is the only Big Ten quarterback ever in history to throw for over 10,000 yards while rushing for 20 touchdowns. Maybe the Josh Allen of the USFL. Gamblers wide receiver Isaiah Zuber caught some passes for the Patriots’ Evil Empire.

At least I did not think of all those Stormtroopers for the Evil Empire being Wes Welker look-a-likes.

#8. NEW JERSEY GENERALS

The Generals are X-EL-Presidente Donald Trump’s former team back in the 1980’s. Generals have the worst odds in the entire USFL. Maybe Las Vegas Nevada is a Blue State.

I thought Randall Flagg was still Mayor of Las Vegas. The Generals in my opinion have the best head coach of this Spring Football league in Mike Riley, just because of all the experience he brings from the Canada league and other Spring leagues past. The Generals had to settle on Luis Perez as their starting quarterback, former professional bowler and a guy who resurrects from all these last few Spring leagues, such as the AAF and XFL. Perez has never been the guy from the start either; a guy that learned the quarterback position from watching YouTube videos. I like Perez and his story, but he may not be the guy to lead the Generals to the promised land.