After two weeks, the XFL is still hanging around even with the television ratings plummeting. The games are still as sloppy as some of the fields in the XFL.

The San Antonio Brahmas make the biggest jump from last week’s power rankings. The Guardians look like the worst team in the league. Here’s week three’s power rankings of the XFL. We have to entertain you once again as some of this slop you just can’t make up. From worst to first we rank all 8 teams.

POWER RANKINGS WEEK THREE

#8. ORLANDO GUARDIANS (0-2) SAME SPOT LAST WEEK

The Guardians are the Bad News Bears of the XFL. The Guardians would be better off having a Walter Matthau as Coach Morris Buttermaker take over this Orlando team.

Buttermaker could drink with his players and have them clean out some pools in the Orlando area to learn a new trade. Most of these Guardians may need a new career after this season. Better option than Terrell Buckley who threw his team under the bus last week during an interview in the middle of the game.

Buckley with his first time ever being a head coach said this to the side line reporter: “We’ve got to get different guys in there. Obviously, we’ve got guys out there that are not competing that are not making plays.” Lighting a spark under his team? Is this something you should say to your team in the locker room? Not piling on the Guardians, but you can’t make this stuff up as one of their quarterbacks, Quinton Dormady, was cut by the Guardians giving out plays from the Guardian playbook to other teams.

Dormady may have tried to put the playbook on E-bay as I’m adding gasoline to the story. Dormady then was reinstated on the same day he was cut as new evidence appeared. Maybe other teams did not accept the Bad News Guardians’ pop up play book.

#7. VEGAS VIPERS (0-2) SAME SPOT LAST WEEK

The Vegas Vipers had their first home game as they play their home games at Cashman Field, a minor league baseball sandlot.

The baseball movie, The Sandlot, could be better option than the former stadium of the Las Vegas Stars club at Cashman field. The field did not even have a press box as the XFL had to build a temporally one up.

The Vipers had the same result from week one. They had a lead and lost it as they played the Defenders in a game that rain came down on all night long. The Vipers threw out former NFL quarterback X-Packer, Seahawks’ Brett Hundley, which he could not give that Viper offense a jolt. Hundley’s night he completed 11-18 passes for a whopping 98 yards.

#6. SEATTLE SEA DRAGONS (0-2) DROPPED ONE SPOT FROM LAST WEEK

The Sea Dragons are the best 0-2 team in the league. The Sea Dragons could have two wins right now, but they keep shooting themselves in the foot with costly turnovers. Both games they lost leads late in the game. The Sea Dragons start off both games looking like the best offense in the league marching down the field like a well oiled machine scoring a touchdown. Ben DiNucci hit wide receiver Jahour Pearson on a nice 54 yard play for the first touchdown of the game.

After the touchdown, DiNucci hit Josh Gordon on a 3 point conversion. Seattle built up a 12-0 lead over the Battlehawks. St. Louis came back and took the lead. Then DiNucci led another drive to retake the lead late in the game. Seattle would then lose on a field goal on St. Louis’ last drive. Seattle has a talented offense. DiNucci leads the XFL in passing yards. You don’t know what your going to get out of DiNucci each drive as it could be good, bad, or ugly as he has not put together a complete solid game. If he can, the Sea Dragons will be tough to beat.

#5. ARLINGTON RENEGADES (1-1) DROPPED ONE SPOT FROM LAST WEEK

Quarterback, quarterback, and quarterback is the problem for the Renegades. Why did Drew Plitt get the starting job over Kyle Sloter in the first place? Does Plitt have naked pictures of Head Coach Bob Stoops in some kind of embarrassing situation?

Drew Plitt has thrown 55 passes in two games in the XFL completed 34 of them for 292 yards with two touchdown passes. Plitt has fumbled the ball and has tossed three interceptions. The Renegades defense won the first game of the year for Arlington. All the offense the Renegades had gotten were set up by the defense giving the offense short field to cash in. Stoops should think of Sloter week 3 as he led the New Orleans Breakers to the playoffs last Spring in the USFL.

#4. SAN ANTONIO BRAHMAS (1-1) MOVED UP 2 SPOT FROM LAST WEEK

The Brahmas scored the most points in week two. Everyone can score the most points off the Guardians, like that girl you knew growing up that could bring you some experience if you desired. The Brahmas’ quarterback, Jack Coan, probably has the best arm in the league & had a nice day at the office throwing 3 touchdown passes for 169 yards no mistakes. Coan is tied with Brandon Silvers for most touchdown passes in the league after two weeks with 4. The Brahmas’ defense had 4 sacks in the first half. Ranthony Texada is emerging as one of best defensive backs in the league & had an interception to basically clinch the game with the fatality of the Guardians.

#3. ST.LOUIS BATTLEHAWKS (2-0) SAME SPOT LAST WEEK

I would like to see St. Louis play a complete game before I move them up the ladder. In crunch time, A.J McCarron has delivered two come back wins on the road. McCarron shows you the veteran seasoning of not panicking as he knows the game is close and has time. St. Louis was without their starting running back, Brian Hill, who was out with an injury. You have to like how Kareem Walker and Mataeo Durant kept the St. Louis attack on offense balanced. The Battlehawks defense has played well in two games. Donny Hageman missed two kicks in this game. Could have easily earned the nickname, Donny Hang-man.

With ice in his kicking leg, Donny will not be called Hangman. Instead Hageman has helped clinch both Battlehawks victories. It also keeps that feel good A.J McCaroon story alive and well.

#2. DC DEFENDERS (2-0) SAME SPOT LAST WEEK

IT’S GOOD TO BE KING !!!

The Defenders can beat you multiple ways. The DC team was visiting the Sandlot in Vegas with a wet soggy turf and had no answers on offense with their starter Jordan Ta’amu. In two weeks, the lead passer in the USFL, Ta’amu, who was one of the best quarterbacks in the XFL part two has sunk to the bottom of the barrel as guys behind center this Spring season. We know the Defenders have played well on defense which helped them win in week 1. The Defenders defense kept their team in the game. Then the Defenders inserted D’Eriq King into the game as he looked like the XFL version of Lamar Jackson. Using the option play on a rainy night made the Vipers defense look silly as he used his legs for big chunks of yardage. The Vipers had no answer for King as they were shell shocked as King led the Defenders to a week two road victory.

#1. HOUSTON ROUGHNECKS (2-0) SAME SPOT AS LAST WEEK

Until the Roughnecks lose a game, then I may knock them off their number one perch in the power rankings. Depending because the Roughnecks look like a complete team right now as everything is clicking. The Roughnecks quarterback is second in the league with 445 passing yards after two games and is tied number 1 in the league in touchdown passes.

The Roughnecks have their own version of Christian McCaffrey, one that can run the ball and catch passes out of the back field. Mad Max Borgi leads the league in rushing touchdowns with two after two games. The Roughnecks defense has been solid interrupting the opposing team’s game plan and making it look easy. Sean Davis has been a ball hawk for the Roughnecks with two interceptions already in two games. Not sure right now what team in this league will be able to string a loss on the Roughnecks record.