Open the bridge… the Showboats land their first victory since the 1980’s. Will that be enough to ease the cry baby, Todd Haley? The Stars have fallen. The Breakers are UNBREAKABLE.

The Stallions rebound as it was almost hammer time. Let’s roll out week 5 power rankings going from the best to the worst.

WEEK 5 POWER RANKINGS

#1. NEW ORLEANS BREAKERS (4-0) SAME SPOT FROM LAST WEEK

The Breakers stay perfect for the season with their showdown versus a tough New Jersey team. We know about the Breakers offense, but it was the New Orleans defense that showed up and help this team stay perfect. When it comes to the Breakers defense, it’s called…

Every league needs a Diggs. The Breakers have Vontae Diggs who led the New Orleans defense and shut down the Generals passing game. The Generals quarterback went 7-14 for 113 passing yards. Running back Wes Hills added two more touchdowns as he’s becoming a scoring machine for New Orleans. I think it will take a perfect game for another opponent to beat the Breakers.

#2. BIRMINGHAM STALLIONS (3-1) SAME SPOT LAST WEEK

The Stallions had quite a scare last week losing two games in a row. The Maulers had the Stallions on the brink of a loss before Alex McGough pulled the rabbit out of his hat scoring a tight rope style touchdown. Luckily, the Maulers settled for field goals in the red zones because Birmingham made mistakes turning over the ball against that ferocious Mauler defense. The Stallions got bailed out by their special teams as Deon Cain’s 91 yard kickoff return saves the day for the wild horses.

Deon Cain is the Devin Hester of the USFL as his run back was a back breaker for the Maulers. Trying to track Cain down on the field would be a back breaker and headache. Stallions had never lost two games in a row since the reboot of the USFL. Might not be pretty, but Stallions rebound from their loss to the Breakers.

#3. NEW JERSEY GENERALS (2-2) SAME SPOT FROM LAST WEEK

The Generals defense held the best offensive team in the entire USFL to only 20 points and lost a very close game. Since the USFL returned, it’s the first time the Generals lost to another team besides the Stallions during the regular season. The Generals are not going away with the loss they suffered versus a good Breaker team. The Generals have one of the best defenses in the league.

Tyshun Render leads the Generals defense with 3.5 sacks. The Generals running game is hard to deal with. As a group they rushed for 172 yards on the ground versus the Breakers. You like to see the Generals improvement under center as De’Andre Johnson only had just over 100 yards passing versus the Breakers. If this Generals team wants to beat the big dogs, Johnson needs to make some pass plays with his arm.

#4. HOUSTON GAMBLERS (2-2) MOVED UP ONE SPOT FROM LAST WEEK

The Gamblers offense is clicking as they put 41 points on the Philadelphia Stars to win their second game of the year and make it two in a row after starting the season 0-2.

Mark Thompson averaged ten yards a carry as he had a monster game running the ball off the Stars defense. Thompson had 13 carries for 134 yards and three touchdowns. The Gamblers quarterback, Kenji Bahar, had a clean game with no mistakes and lit up the skies with 234 passing yards and two touchdown passes. The Gamblers defense should get a shout out only giving up 16 points and shutting down one of the talented quarterbacks in the USFL, Case Cookus.

#5. MICHIGAN PANTHERS (2-2) DROPPED ONE SPOT FROM LAST WEEK

The Panthers now have lost two games in a row after opening up the season with two wins. The Panthers numbers-wise were dominating the game last week versus the Showboats but shot themselves in the foot in Showboats territory with costly turnovers. The Panthers need to improve their protection on the quarterback as the Showboats were able to generate pressure and at the same time knock down many of Josh Love’s passes. Panthers have a strong running game. They have a solid defense led by defensive end, Breeland Speaks.

Speaks won a ring with the Kansas Chiefs when Patrick Mahomes won his first Superbowl. Speaks is one of the premier pass rushers in the USFL. The talent head coach Mike Nolan has on this Panther squad I see no reason why they can’t turn this around again and not find themselves at the bottom of the USFL standings like last year.

#6.PITTSBURGH MAULERS (1-3) SAME SPOT FROM LAST WEEK

The Maulers almost had a upset last week versus a very talented Stallion team. The Maulers had a 21-7 lead with 6:52 left on the clock. The Maulers would be upended on a kickoff return touchdown in a game they dominated most of. Maulers however went 0-3 in the red zone with scoring opportunities settling for field goals instead of touchdowns. Head coach Ray Horton said to the side line reporter at the start of the second half something along these lines: The team needs to pull up their pull ups and find the end zone. The quarterback play has improved as Troy Williams threw for 217 yards with 63 rushing yards and a score.

The last three weeks the Maulers gave the Breakers a solid game & then beat the Stars and gave the Stallions a run for their money. The Maulers are improving week to week.

#7. MEMPHIS SHOWBOATS (1-3) MOVED UP ONE SPOT FROM LAST WEEK

The Showboats finally find the win column. Memphis had a new quarterback behind center in Cole Kelly who had two rushing touchdowns to help disgruntled head coach Todd Haley, finally win a game and give a hug to the opposing coach after the game instead of bitch about the way his team lost. It was not Haley’s mastermind offense that beat the Michigan Panthers. It was the Showboat defense that did the job and forced the Panthers into multiple mistakes especially around the red zone. The Showboats defense had two interceptions and a strip sack that turned into a touchdown as Jeff McCulloch scooped up the ball and took it to the house.

The Showboats defense tipped multiple passes thrown by Panthers quarterback Josh Love. The Showboats defense came in this game as the worst unit in the game. The Showboats get their first victory of the year and first win since the 1980’s.

#8.PHILADELPHIA STARS (1-3) DROPPED ONE SPOT FROM LAST WEEK

The Stars have hit rock bottom as they were destroyed by the Gamblers last week losing by 25 points. The Stars offense used to be a bright spot of this team but Case Cookus and company has only topped 20 points in one game the season opener. The Gamblers offense carved up the Stars defense like a Thanksgiving turkey. Now the Stars defense has surrendered the most points in the league after 4 games of action. On offense, Cookus once again passed for under 200 yards as the run game was shut down by an okay Gambler defense. The Stars were shining in last year’s championship until Cookus broke his leg as they lost to the Stallions at the end of that contest. The Stars coming in, many experts thought they could be a top team in this league in the second year. The Stars head coach, Bart Andrus looked like a solid head coach as he had this team playing at a high level. Now he has become the Bart Simpson of the USFL about to turn Homer-like. This is as teams continue to pile for losses on this Philadelphia team.