STRAIGHT UP PICK-EM

LAST WEEK’S RECORD: (7-7) Definitely meatheaded level. Way too many losses with that protein.

SEASON RECORD: (47-31)

BRING ON WEEK 6

THE THURSDAY NIGHT GAME

DENVER BRONCOS (1-4) AT KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (4-1)

The Jets quarterback Zach Wilson was able to score 31 points off this bad Denver defense last week. The Chiefs have another typical practice game day like they had with the Bears. It will look like batting practice before a baseball game as Chiefs, also being at home, should easily light up the score board and Amazon Prime on Thursday night. Sean Payton has to be rethinking what he signed up for.

OUR PICK: CHIEFS

THE SUNDAY SLATE

LONDON, ENGLAND

BALTIMORE RAVENS (3-2) AT TENNESSEE TITANS (2-3)

Another London match up means you hope you enjoy some tea and crumpets at the butt crack of dawn on Sunday morning. The Ravens laid a clunker to the Steelers last week. The Titans still remain unpredictable week after week as they lost to the Colts, a team they have dominated the last dozen times. The Ravens had scoring chances last week but did not execute them. This game is a coin flip as I have more faith in the Ravens over the Titans. I like the Ravens running defense stopping Derrick Henry as the ground assault over the pond is the key in these games with the time zone changes.

OUR PICK: RAVENS

WASHINGTON COMMANDERS (2-3) AT ATLANTA FALCONS (3-2)

I should write the Commanders off with the loss to the Bears. The Falcons continue to surprise every week. I think the way the Falcons like to run the ball falls to the strength of that Commanders defense up front. The Commanders defense looked horrible versus the pass. Desmond Ridder’s short passes and running the football will benefit the Commanders. The Commanders offense with a kick in the rear by River Boat Ron Rivera should get this team to rebound quickly from flopping against a bad Chicago team.

OUR PICK: COMMANDERS

MINNESOTA VIKINGS (1-4) AT CHICAGO BEARS(1-4)

No matter what the records, the Vikings and Bears games are always entertaining and come down to the wire. Both teams are at the bottom of the barrel of the NFC North. The Vikings are without their star receiver, Justin Jefferson. The Bears are thin at running back. Both defenses have been terrible. The Bears defense did better last week but… was some of that was seasonal giving by Washington? Which quarterback can win the close one with the ball in their hands at the very end? I can’t trust either team. Justin Fields is a turnover machine in the second half in tight games. The Vikings will be able to score points without Jefferson. Cousins should be able to pick apart the Bears defense. I have to use sabre metrics in this pick. Seriously, when was the last time the Bears won two straight games? It took them close to a year to end their losing streak.

OUR PICK: VIKINGS

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (5-0) AT CLEVELAND BROWNS (2-2)

Did the 49ers put all of their efforts and energy towards destroying their arch rival Dallas last Sunday night? I sense the pitchforks are getting sharper and the wick ends of those torches… well, you can smell the kerosene as the Dawg pound little on the needing to neuter their quarterback side of things with their guaranteed 300 million dollar man. Deshaun Watson missed the last game with an unexpected injury right before the loss. Watson may return; if not PJ Walker will face the 49ers number one defense. The Browns defense has played well, but the team needs to score points. The bitches are not giving the man massages. Brock Purdy is still undefeated as a regular season starter, & I think that streak will not die versus the Browns.

OUR PICK: 49ERS

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS(3-2) AT HOUSTON TEXANS (2-3)

The Saints marched in the right direction last week with a big win versus the Patriots on the road. The Saints snapped a two game losing streak and played their best game of the year. The Texans will be up and down this year and Houston’s arrow was pointing down last weekend. How will the Texans rookie receiver Tank Dell adapt after getting knocked out of the game with a concussion last Sunday? I think this will be a tough match up for CJ Stroud who has played well so far, but the Saints defense can limit some of the good stuff he’s been doing. I don’t like the Texans running game which is non-relevant so far. Take away Stroud’s security blanket, & it may be a long day for the Texans offense. The Saints are starting to come alive on offense with Alvin Kamara getting more touches taking pressure off Derek Carr’s arm.

OUR PICK: SAINTS

CAROLINA PANTHERS(0-5) AT MIAMI DOLPHINS (4-1)

The Panthers as a team have been riding the struggle bus. Traveling to Miami is a tough place in general to get a road win. Bryce Young has struggled behind center as he’s trying to get accustomed to the NFL game which is faster than the college game. The Panther defense is trying to figure out how to stop the Miami trackmeet on offense. Frank Reich may be one and done in Carolina and wishing he did not take this job that looked promising from afar. This is an easy one when the Dolphins swim laps around the drowning Panthers.

OUR PICK: DOLPHINS

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (3-2) AT JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (3-2)

THE REVENGE OF THE MUSTACHE

Anthony Richardson is hurt and will not play for the Colts. That means X-Jaguar Gardner Minshew will be behind center and face his old team. The Jaguars just won back to back weeks in London. The Colts have been running the football with the best of the entire league. The Jaguars have played two solid games back to back and have been well-balanced on offense and the defense has made some big plays. Zack Moss, holding down the fort for Jonathan Taylor, does not want to give up the rock as he was sensational last Sunday versus the Titans. Taylor got the contract extension & will want to show why he thinks he deserved that money. I like Minshew as the X-factor in this one will have a big game and have the Colts on top of the AFC South by the time this game concludes.

OUR PICK: COLTS

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (1-4) AT LAS VEGAS RAIDERS (2-3)

The Master versus his apprentice in this match up. The Patriots and Raiders are two teams crashing at the same time. The Raiders found a way to beat Green Bay so they are still holding on for dear life waiting to be flushed. The Empire is falling and Bill Belichick’s rear is roasting in the hot seat. Could Belichick get canned by Robert Kraft? Belichick and his favorite disciple have worked together for years winning Superbowls due to Tom Brady and basking in the glory of that dynasty. Should be time to pull the plug on both these guys. Both Raiders and Patriots are mirror images of each other. I like the idea of McDaniels giving back to his master and the Empire by the time this one is in the books. We know that the Patriots’ bust-out game is coming & the Raiders will be the sacrificial lamb.

OUR PICK: PATRIOTS

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (3-1) AT CINCINNATI BENGALS (2-3)

The Seahawks have won three in a row since losing the opener to the LA Rams. The Bengals are not going away as Joe Cool Burrow was not fazed by the team’s bad start as they have plenty of time to recover to get back to the post-season. Both starting quarterbacks in this one have been a little banged up. Burrow looked sharp last week playing his best game of the season versus the Cardinals defense. Geno Smith missed a few plays getting hit below the knee versus the Giants but did manage to finish the game. The Seahawks will surrender a boatload of passing yards on their defense. The Bengals may have trouble stopping Seattle’s two headed monster young running backs. This should be a close and exciting game, and I give the edge to home team Bengals and their history of starting off bad and suddenly getting to 500, which they will by defeating the visitors from Seattle.

OUR PICK: BENGALS

DETROIT LIONS (4-1) AT TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (3-1)

The Lions have won three in a row. The Buccaneers beat the Saints before heading on their bye week. Baker Mayfield has been a game manager for the Buccaneers as the offense has moved the ball and not turned over. The Lions have one of the best offensive lines in the game which the Buccaneers do better at defending the pass over the run. The Buccaneers defense has been solid but the Lions’ group of play-makers could cause this defense some problems. Especially if Detroit can establish the run. Jared Goff is having a nice season like Mayfield, a game manager, but more as he can cash in on more throws down the field. The Lions defense is stout and has clout over opposing offenses this season. This should be a close game in the first half; then Lions wear out the Buccaneers defense and pull away in the second half.

OUR PICK: LIONS

ARIZONA CARDINALS (1-4) AT LA RAMS (2-3)

If you are fans of either the Rams or the Cardinals, at least you can say you’ve been in every game you played so far. Is the winner out of this contest the real winner as either team will not make the playoff?. The loser in fact will get the better draft pick. I like the Rams quarterback Matthew Stafford over Joshua Dobbs. Stafford with Cooper Cupp and other young wide receivers means this offense is pretty talented. The Rams also have an edge on defense. Both teams have a numerous amount of young talent, but the Rams have some nicer veteran bookends that can steer the ship, even their record at 3-3, and give them playoff hopes which will be dashed later in the season.

OUR PICK: RAMS

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (5-0) AT NEW YORK JETS (2-3)

The Jets broke a three game losing streak with a win versus the Broncos. Zach Wilson is improving behind center as many thought the reinforcements would have arrived including some kind of veteran QB. The Eagles still are one of two remaining undefeated teams in the league. I can’t imagine the Jets upsetting the Eagles giving them their first lost. The Eagles defense will force turnovers & Wilson will serve up the football. It was the Broncos’ pile of dung defense he did better against. The Eagles will also find points on offense against a very solid defense the Jets offer.

OUR PICK: EAGLES

THE SUNDAY NIGHT GAME

NEW YORK GIANTS (1-4) AT BUFFALO BILLS (3-2)

This is not how Brian Daboll coming back to Buffalo was going to look like. Former Bills offensive coordinator took the Giants head coaching job last year and they made the playoffs. Now bringing the Giants into Buffalo on a prime time game, his team a complete mess. The Giants have questions everywhere on the roster with injuries piling up like some MASH unit. Meanwhile Bills were derailed over the pond last week by the Jaguars. Stupid penalties, injuries, and just getting the offense off the ground was too late in the second half. It was done. I like the Bills being able to tread water without Matt Milano as they have Von Miller back which will help. The offense should start fast, continue the entire game, and get back on track.

OUR PICK: BILLS

THE MONDAY NIGHT GAME

DALLAS COWBOYS (3-2) AT LA CHARGERS (2-2)

This sounds like the Clash of the Titans on Monday night with two great offenses like the Chargers and Cowboys. Both teams have studs on the defensive side, but points should be scored. The Cowboys were humiliated by their arch rival 49ers on prime time last week. Then the Chargers were on their bye week as no news is good news. I like the Cowboys’ chances on their defense to make the bigger plays than the Chargers. Every team the Chargers have faced, have put up 20 or more points on them. The Cowboys defense has held teams under 20 points three times including a shutout. The Chargers head coach is a pure bonehead and is prone to make the stupid call like he is always good for each game. Cowboys have rebounded big after each loss this season as they destroyed the Patriots after losing to the Cardinals.

OUR PICK: COWBOYS