The UFL playoffs are on the horizon. The guy above, no worries should not be there, unless he changes his hat and swaps out the body painting with another team’s colors. The Stallions, BattleHawks, Panthers and Brahmas, all animal names, are in the post-season. Which leaves the Defenders, Renegades, Showboats, and Roughnecks. The teams that don’t use an animal nickname are out early for summer vacation. The final week of this UFL season will sort out where the playoffs will be next week. The Stallions finally lost and will play the Panthers twice in the next two weeks. The BattleHawks and the Brahmas will face each other twice in the next two weeks. Who will be the XFL conference winner? Who will be the USFL conference winner? Who will be the toilet bowl winner? Either the Roughnecks or the Swampboats? They are not the Showboats as that name has sunk after week one. Let’s sort it out and you get back to me.

#1.BIRMINGHAM STALLIONS (8-1)

The thoughts of the 1972 Dolphins were in the back of my mind about this year’s Stallions season. Seeing the Stallions go undefeated and then going perfect in the playoffs and winning their third championship in a row would have been cool. Would have been history as well. Sometimes a team needs a loss to get back on track. In week 8, the Stallions found themselves battling with the Roughnecks. Then last week the Brahmas knocked the Stallions down a peg giving them their first loss of the year.

Suddenly that Stallions defense is being scored on the last two weeks. Birmingham’s defensive coordinator, John Chavis, has been out the last two weeks with an undisclosed reason. Chavis has been the heart and soul of the Stallions defense for the last three seasons. Suddenly the Michigan Panthers are breathing down the necks of the Stallions as the USFL conference is not locked yet. Can the Stallions be compared to the Russian boxer, Drago, in Rocky 4? First sign of blood he crumbles like a house of cards. Skip Holtz and this Stallions team are too talented to fold at the first sign of trouble.

#2.SAN ANTONIO BRAHMAS (7-2)

The Brahmas have beaten the BattleHawks and now gave the Stallions their first loss of the year. All season in the UFL it seems the talk has been on Birmingham the best in the USFL conference and St. Louis being the best in the XFL conference. The Brahmas have their starting quarterback back in action, Chase Garbers. The Brahmas have a three headed monster at the running back position with John Lovett, Brycen Allen, and Anthony McFarland. This has been the X factor the last few weeks.

Garbers has play makers in the receivers room. San Antonio has a solid defense. They have Wade Phillips as their head coach with decades of experience. The BattleHawks and Stallions meeting in the championship is not set in stone. San Antonio may be the number one seed in the XFL conference by the time week 10 concludes.

#3. MICHIGAN PANTHERS (7-2)

Don’t suddenly sleep on the Michigan Panthers as they have quietly been stringing together a slew of victories and locked up a playoff spot. The Panthers battled the Stallions to a close game in the first meeting when they faced off. The results were a loss. Now the Panthers find themselves one game behind the Stallions in the final week of the season facing Birmingham with a chance to take the USFL conference. The Panthers and Stallions will face off with each other the next two weeks no matter what. Football is all about the quarterback in which Michigan has had success with multiple guys.

The latest quarterback for the Panthers may be the guy. Bryce Perkins is a duel threat Quarterback that has legged out 143 rushing yards with two touchdowns. He has thrown two touchdown passes as well. Michigan has a solid defense. They can run the ball. They have some good solid receivers. They play a clean game every week and don’t hurt themselves. Perkins could be the X factor in the playoffs.

#4. ST.LOUIS BATTLEHAWKS (6-3)

If the BattleHawks want to do what Tom Brady did with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and play the big game in your own back yard, they need AJ McCarron back in the fold.

Manny Wilkens has played well the last two weeks filling in for an injured McCarron. The BattleHawks are 1-1 with Wilkens behind center. A healthy McCarron for the playoffs is the key for the BattleHawks right now. The BattleHawks are a better team with AJ than Manny behind center. It’s that simple. The BattleHawks face the Brahmas in week 10 for the XFL conference title. No matter what happens in the game, these two teams will meet again in the post-season. The final game of regular season is where they play that post-season game. The Brahmas have beaten the BattleHawks in the very first game of regular season. A healthy McCarron for the playoffs is key, but I’m sure the BattleHawks want to eat their cake and ice cream at the same time. And want AJ hosting the fun next week in St. Louis.

#5.ARLINGTON RENEGADES (2-7)

The Renegades have the best quarterback in the UFL’s first season with Luis Perez. The Renegades have won 2 out of their last three games. Arlington leads the league in heartbreak losses this season. They put up 36 points on a very talented BattleHawks defense last week in a win. The defense of the Renegades has been able to get the turnovers, but at the same time they are the town’s whore when everyone can score.

The Renegades will always be the XFL 2023 champions. If the Renegades did not win the XFL last year, would they have been one of the teams to make the merger of the UFL? Seems like other teams have better attendance in the XFL other than Arlington, like Seattle. Last week they said the Renegades are the best 1-7 team to face. This week they may be the best 2-7 a team faces. Lucky them.

#6.DC DEFENDERS (4-5)

The Defenders had explosions on offense last week putting 36 points on a bad Memphis team. The Defenders could quietly finish the season with an even record of 5-5 after going 9-1 in the 2023 season of the XFL. Jordan Ta’amu may be the best average quarterback in spring football. His numbers look decent and does not turn over the ball. You never hear about the big play Ta’amu makes to get his team the victory. Hitting the receiver in stride as he takes the big hit by the defender. The big run to get the first down. On defense the former Bounty gate president Greg Williams on defense not making the payments out on the bounties? Soft dense this season for Williams unit.

The DC Defenders of greatness is in the past like the great Atari game Defender. The poor play from DC makes a cog in forming a good beer snake on the weekend.

#7.HOUSTON ROUGHNECKS (1-8)

The Roughnecks are the Gamblers from last two seasons in the USFL. Whatever fancy wrapper you want to put on CJ Johnson’s club.

They will never be close to the Gamblers of the 1980’s without a quarterback. That is this team’s down fall. They need a Jim Kelly behind center like they did in the 1980’s. The Roughnecks were mostly dreadful this season. Then they started to compete and lost close games at the end like the Gamblers did last year and the year before. They have a shot at staying out of the UFL toilet bowl with a rematch versus the Showboats this weekend. This team may need a new head coach and have to find something better behind center for next season, not just a uniform change.

#8.MEMPHIS SHOWBOATS (1-8)

The Showboats have now lost 8 straight after winning their first game of the season. Could they book end this miserable season by sweeping the Roughnecks in their last game of the year? What will it matter as this team has too many questions. The talent is there or was it?

The Showboats were better with Cole Kelly as their quarterback in 2023, than the signings of Case Cookus and Troy Williams. Look as Darius Victor at running back. He was a legend with the Generals the last few seasons. He had his best game in a Showboats uniform last week gaining 98 yards on the ground. Other than that game, he has been a bust. Memphis needs to reshape the trenches on their defense and offense is obviously a glaring problem. They don’t need to bring back Todd Haley as their head coach. It looks bad now, but the best thing they did was get rid of that scum bag.