THE THURSDAY NIGHT GAME (OCTOBER 25,2018)

LAST THURSDAY WE PREDICTED: WIN

Last week we had the Broncos over the Cardinals which made sense and worked out very well for us. It was an easy pick, but we all are doing cartwheels as the excitement improved our Thursday record. Now we are two games over as we are now (4-2) on Thursday nights looking for more.

TONIGHT’S MATCH UP

MIAMI DOLPHINS AT HOUSTON TEXANS

Dolphins started off 3-0. They came down to earth very quickly after that. Then the Bears, maybe for sweetest day even though it was not quite the right weekend for that fake hallmark day. The Bears gave the Dolphins a win with some tickets to the resort and some free massages by the pool side. In Chicago, we’re classy. Since then the Lions came to Miami and took care of the fins with ease.

Meanwhile the Texans’ season has been a roller coaster. They started off 0-3. Now they have won four straight. The Texans defense is playing better. Watson, besides riding the bus to the games, is not making a lot of mistakes. Houston has to protect them as inside his body, lots of organs are collapsing.  I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on the television. I’m going with the hotter team in this one and the Texans are at home. If Watson can ride a bus last weekend for 12 hours to get to the game, then they can easily gurney his butt to the Texans stadium. He’ll have more time to catch a few winks as well.

OUR PICK: HOUSTON TEXANS

Last week the Shit hit the fan.

Watching the games and seeing our predictions flop, we knew we had gone down a dark road with no headlights.

We knew the storm was coming as the late afternoon games got started. Batman could not help us. It was a bad week at the office. We went 6-9 last week.

OUR SEASON RECORD NOW IS 38-39

NO WORRIES !!! We placed a call to the Evil empire and Tom Brady let us borrow the death star cannon.

We used it on all the crystal balls we have at our offices that have been giving foolish data all year long. Totally wiped out like they never existed. We have built our new offices on the fly.

We’re in our mobile van down by the river… our temporary football headquarters with clean air. Some fresh laps in the river of sludge and we have a total new outlook in the football world. We are ready to tackle week seven and get our respect back.

SUNDAY’S MATCH UP                                                                    OUR WINNER

TENNESSEE TITANS AT LA CHARGERS (LONDON)                    CHARGERS

Another game in London which shocks me that there are no Jacksonville Jaguars. Will the Chargers build a better fan base in London or LA? Do they still have anybody from San Diego rooting for them. Hopefully the Titans can bring some moonshine to the local in exchange for warm beer. The Titans lack an offense and have no way of keeping up with the Chargers offense. The Chargers defense will have no problem shutting down the Titans offense with a regressing Marcus Mariota. I think Titans should start Gabbert to get the offense off life support. Plus then we can say an X Jacksonville player was at least part of the London game.

BROWNS AT BUCCANEERS                                                                BUCCANEERS

I hate Jameis Winston like most uber drivers dislike this man. Now that he has a full game under his belt and the Buccaneers are at home, I could see this game going to Buccaneers. I love watching Baker Mayfield as he’s a fearless leader out there. I think he will make the mistake that will cost the Browns a victory in a close shoot-out type of game. Both teams have some big weapons. I think Buccaneers offense has more options and will be hard to cover. Winston had his team fighting back late last week in the Falcon game. Buccaneers come out blazing right from the start of this contest.

PATRIOTS AT BEARS                                                                                   PATRIOTS

It will be PATRIOTS day at Soldiers field this Sunday. This go around will be different than the last meeting in Chicago with these two teams. It will not be Tom Brady and the Evil Empire putting up 50 points against the junior varsity defense the Bears had at the time. Evil Empire is firing on all cylinders as they have won three in a row. Meanwhile the Bears’ Mitch Trubisky has gotten better. However they gave Miami the win last week. Lots of stupid mistakes by the team and coaching staff. My key in this game are the Patriots just saw the Bears type of offense with the Kansas City Chiefs. I think the man under the hoodie will have an intense game plan to disrupt Trubisky. Not liking that Khalil Mack is a bit banged up. They would need him to make Brady uncomfortable. This will be a close game but Evil Empire prevail in the fourth quarter and win this by a touchdown.

BILLS AT COLTS                                                                                          COLTS

I’m doing it again. Going down a dark road as I will give you plenty of warning that I’m picking the Bills in this one. I know you’re thinking how shocking and what is this cat smoking. The Bills offense has been pretty close to dismal. However with a veteran named Derrick Anderson taking over for the injured Josh Allen, I think we will see finally something happen that we have not seen in a long time. A few scores and not just field goals. As long as Anderson does not get hurt I feel being a back up for years he is used to coming in and doing well. We do not want to see that bum Nate Peterman enter the game.  I can’t believe he’s still on the team with 9 interceptions in 79 throws and he still gets chances. Andrew Luck has been having a great year. However his receivers drop way too many balls. This is where the Buffalo defense plays into this factor as they will create turnovers and that will doom the Colts as the Bills are like Sneaky Pete and come away with a victory on the road.

TEXANS AT JAGUARS                                                                                    JAGUARS

Both teams going in opposite directions. I thing Doug Marone has declared war on the AFC South opponents

Watson is a little banged up and I think the Jacksonville defense will rise up in this contest for the Jaguars who are playing at their Florida location this week. The Jaguars acquired running back Carol Hyde from the Browns this week who will get that running game going strong again. The less things Bortles has to do, the better. Home cooking for the Jag Bags and the defense rebounding. They pull away in a close one this week.

PANTHERS AT EAGLES                                                                                 EAGLES

If the Fig Newton is the only run threat the Panthers have. The Eagles defense will contain him. The Eagles defense plays better at home. Both teams will put up some points. I like how Wentz and the Eagles offense has finally got things turned around as they were riding the short bus of struggles most of the season. Newton will not be able to match points with the Eagle offense. In the end Eric Reid and the Panthers will not be kneeling in victory formation.

LIONS AT DOLPHINS                                                                                      LIONS

I do not see the Dolphins getting lucky two weeks in a roll. Last week the Bears handed the Dolphins a gift basket win with a bow. No way Brock Osweiler will have another pretty good game two weeks in a roll. Missed kicks by Green Bay kicker helped the Lions steal the game last week against their division rival. I think the Lions defense will have a better plan than the Bears on defense and slow down the Dolphins and actually make key tackles. Stafford will use the aerial attack and pick a part the Miami secondary as Lions go on the road before a bye and come away with a victory to even up their record.

VIKINGS AT JETS                                                                                             VIKINGS

Jets put up a huge amount of points against the Colts last week. They also gave up a lot of points. The Vikings are a different animal. They have more bullets in the chamber than the Colts Receivers. They do not drop the balls like the Colts receivers either. Vikings seem like they are finally getting all their units to play well at the same time. I do not see Sam Darnold able to get all those looks down field like he did last week. The Vikings will put more pressure on the rookie and keep him contained as Vikings roll again.

SAINTS AT RAVENS                                                                                          SAINTS

This will be a great offense versus a great defense. Usually a great defense can take out a great offense. The Ravens held the Steelers to only 14 points. However the Bengals put up 34 on them early in the season. The rest of the teams the Ravens have played are not that impressive. I’m not buying into the Ravens yet. I don’t think they have a defense like back in the Ray Lewis days when he was murdering people at the night clubs. The Saints are a tad slower outdoors. The Saints offense is a well oiled machine and I can’t see the Ravens stopping a train on the tracks heading full speed at you. Flacco can not win in a shoot out either. Saints will not put up 40 points but the Ravens will not score enough points to win this one in Baltimore.

COWBOYS AT REDSKINS                                                                             COWBOYS

This used to be one of the best rivals in the NFL. However these days when both teams meet it is nothing to write home about. Last week the Cowboys erupted with 40 points on the Jaguars defense. Finally the offense that has been lacking all year had a pulse and it was pulsing at a high rate. Redskins are winning some games. You don’t know what you will get each week when comes to this team. Will you get bad Spanky old man Peterson. Or will you get a determined Spanky Peterson, a man coming off tanning some hides before kick off. The defense has these trends as well, one day Rodgers is running for his life, Charlie Brown. Then a week later Drew Brees is setting records.  I like the Cowboys who finally found themselves and are out of the closet as Ezekiel Elliot has another big game and a Cowboys win.

RAMS AT 49ERS                                                                                      RAMS

Is it basketball season yet in the bay area? Golden State Warriors are the focus by the Golden Gtate bridge. Maybe the 49ers team bus could roll off the bridge and start a total new rebuild for next year. The Rams are rolling as they are undefeated and they are not the second fiddle in their town. 49ers last week had a lead that they gave up to Rodgers at the end. Many teams have fallen for the old Rodgers come back. But if you’re not going to defend the side lines against Green Bay at the end of the game, what kind of plan will you have against the Rams? Rams will not get behind early like the Packers did. Rams win this one and make the guys from the Miami Dolphins back in the day of their undefeated year, a tad nervous. No popping the champagne this week.

BENGALS AT CHIEFS                                                                               CHIEFS

Another prime time game for the Chiefs. I like that the Chiefs are at home for this one. If they had to go Cincinnati, I probably would have picked Bengals. Mahomes finally got to play under the lights last Sunday night. He finally played in huge game against the Patriots in which his team lost. However these are good things. You played in one prime time game against the best in the business and you almost won that game. They can build on that and being at home I think the Chiefs rebound quickly and dispatch the Bengals who are probably still thinking of their last second loss against the Steelers last Sunday. Losses like that can linger for a few weeks and I see Andy Dalton will come out and make some mistakes. This game will be another shoot out but Mahomes will draw last and fire the winning shot at kooky kook Carell.

GIANTS AT FALCONS                                                                                FALCONS

This could be a great offensive shoot out. It would be like the circus as both teams will razzle and dazzle you. Will Odell Beckham Junior, the dog he is, be foaming at the mouth and have to be put down? Or will Odell Beckham erupt with tight rope catches and make this into the game of the week on Monday night. I like the Falcons at home, it seems to be their only friend right now. The Giants will score off that defense that is in shambles. However Eli Manning will make a costly mistake towards the end that every Giant fan watching at home will be screaming to make a trade to the Raiders to get Derrick Carr. Falcons by a touch down.

THE THURSDAY NIGHT GAME

OCTOBER 18,2018

LAST THURSDAY NIGHT OUR PREDICTION: LOSS

It’s a dog eat dog world when you ride a junk yard dog as your pick. For some reason we figured Odell Beckham Jr. was going to light up the Eagles. Instead they went Hotel California on the G-Men. Is the Manning Brother that did not make the NFL dressed up as Eli? I have no idea why we picked the Giants in that contest, Must have left the stove on all day long at the offices and the gas clouded our good judgment on Thursday night.

OVERALL RECORD ON THURSDAY NIGHT (3-2)

TONIGHT’S GAME

DENVER BRONCOS AT ARIZONA CARDINALS

Oh God, have Mercy. I think the NBA GAME between the Sacramento Kings and the Dallas Mavericks looks better than this match up. If only you can bring people from each team back from the past. Have John Elway for the Broncos versus Kurt Warner for the Cardinals. Now that would be intriguing. Case Keenum is still the starter in Denver. However, in his head, the fans are wanting Jim Kelly’s nephew to sling the rock. Why did the Buffalo Bills not pick up Jim Kelly’s nephew? Has to be way better than Nate Peterman. Plus you could have upgraded with a pick from the seventh round as well. Tonight’s game should be hot garbage. However somehow it might be entertaining. I like how the Broncos came back on the Rams. I think a road game may help spark a guy like Case Keenum who feels the heat from the Bronco peanut gallery. I think the Cardinals rookie quarterback is still getting used to the speed of the game. Von Miller will not help his eyesight. I have the Broncos winning by ten points in this contest.

OUR WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER :BRONCOS

We embarrassed ourselves going with the Giants on Thursday night. We admit we lost a bet.

Last week much better performance as we went 10-5 for the week.

Overall record so far, skipping week one, is 32-30…. We are all stoked over at the corporate offices that we are now two games over the 500 mark.

THE REST OF ALL PICKS FOR WEEK SIX IN THAT CRAZY LEAGUE THE NFL

MATCH UP                                                                         OUR WINNER

BUCCANEERS AT FALCONS                                              FALCONS

With both teams having no defense, this match up is the Flag Football championship. Winner goes downstate and plays this year’s Arena Bowl winner. This one should be a shoot out, but since I said that, it will be a close game. It will be a battle between kickers. A kick off. I think Falcons win this one at ,home. Matt Ryan has been involved already in a few of these shoot outs. The odds are he comes out on the right side of things. Meanwhile Winston probably will have to go with Lyft instead of Uber. Lyft now has it where you can fondle the drivers, even at a red light. Winston still knocking off the rust with only playing a half a game under his belt. Falcons come up with this  one in a close game.

STEELERS AT BENGALS                                                        BENGALS

This is a big division game for both these teams. A Steeler win gets them back in the division race. A Bengal win builds a bigger lead and pushes the Steelers towards the basement of the division. The Red Rifle aka Andy Dalton is having a great year, perhaps his best year. It’s two great quarterbacks slinging the rock in this contest. However the Bengals have a defense. While the Steelers defense improved and held the Falcons last week only to 17 points. However they are on the road and I can see Andy Dalton able to take advantage of weak secondary the Steelers have. Big Ben will keep this game close, but the Bengals will put it away late.

CHARGERS AT BROWNS                                                          BROWNS

Baker Mayfield reminds me of a younger Phillip Rivers when he first came into the league.  Not scared of anything. Instant winner. Will throw the ball in any window. Mistakes bounced off him. Rallying of the troops. The way Baker Mayfield shows poise in the pocket is something many young quarterbacks don’t ever have. Perhaps Baker Mayfield is one of Phillip Rivers’ bastard children. Probably not because he holds on to Brady Bunch and Partridge family as they all live under the same roof like the lady in the old shoe. Maybe Rivers adopted her shoe. I like the Browns winning their second game in a roll. I think a tight well fought game last week and Mayfield leading the team back is something that all the Browns felt. We have arrived and yes, we are special.

The Browns beating the Ravens last week was the team’s first division win since 2015. I think they will win two in a row for the first time since Ronald Reagan was President. West Coast teams traveling east to face equal or great competition never seem to do well. Both defenses will keep this close. I see a Phillip Rivers mistake in the fourth that the Browns take advantage of and pull out another gutsy performance.

BEARS AT DOLPHINS                                                          BEARS

Bears are facing two of their old offensive coordinators in this one. During the Jay Cutler years, the only thing the Bears led the league in was Offensive Coordinators jumping out of the high rises.  Adam Gase, the Dolphins head coach. Then Dowell Loggins, the guy who coached Mitch Trubisky last year with his training wheels play book. Oh have times changed. Mitch Trubisky coming off the biggest game ever in his young career as he torched the Buccaneers a couple weeks ago. Can that performance be repeated? Even if Mitch Trubisky goes back to his old self, the Dolphins will still have a long day with the Bears defense turning this into a fish fry early. Make sure you bring the tartar sauce for this one.

BILLS AT TEXANS                                                                BILLS

If the Browns can win two in a row, so can the Bills. Not liking the Bills offensive line as the offense has been sputtering. Especially with the Texans who have Watt and Clowny coming after the man behind the center. One thing I do like in this match up is that the Bills will  be able to force a few turnovers on the Texan quarterback. The Texans have won two in a row, both in Overtime. However both wins were handed to them. The Colts should of punted in OT, but instead went for it and it back fired in their own territory. Then the Cowboys refused to go for it on 4th and one. This should be a well fought game. I think Josh Allen makes a big throw in this one. Watching Buffalo play I have been enjoying model glue over the white Elmer’s glue when it comes to sniffing the stuff that will make any football team enjoyable.

CARDINALS AT VIKINGS                                                     VIKINGS

Good to see the Cardinals come away with their first victory last week. Hope the coach brought the team to Dairy Queen for a few scoops of ice cream. They deserved it. Meanwhile Vikings going into Eagle land and ran the Rocky steps to pull out a huge victory and much needed victory. With that big win they will not overlook the Cardinals and get beat by another Josh, that is a rookie. They take care of business and you will see all parts of their game do well in this match up and win big.

COLTS AT JETS                                                                            COLTS

Seems like every few games Sam Darnold puts up some big numbers as the Jets quarterback. He did last week to Vanilla Ice, Case Keenum, and the lackluster Broncos. This week is a different animal. The Colts only have one victory so far. However Andrew Luck has been throwing the rock and the team has been scoring points. I think the Colts will win this one even if a shootout takes place. I like the Colts defense to exploit the Jets line and give Darnold pressure and force him into making mistakes. It will be a close game but Colts prevail as long as Frank Reich is done handing out early Christmas presents to other teams.

SEAHAWKS AT RAIDERS                                                              RAIDERS

This game is in London, England. Can you picture Jon Gruden having a spot of tea with the Queen? I can see Pete Carol hugging the queen and grabbing her behind, the man is a pervert. This game will be a low scoring affair since both teams have to travel so far. I think this hurts the Seahawks more as they have a history of not doing well in further places from Seattle. If people from Vegas are watching their future team, could they back out of the deal? Maybe Chucky and the rest of black hole belong in England. Then Chargers could escape LA and move to Vegas. I think Jon Gruden will walk the streets of London and come up with a few plays to beat the Seahawks in a close game. Maybe the fog can clear out the stupidness that still lingers in his head after getting rid of Mack.

PANTHERS AT REDSKINS                                                     REDSKINS

The Fig Newton has the team at 3-1. The locals are talking about the kneeling boob they just signed instead of his own perfect self. Normally the attention would kill the man of fig. But these days it’s nice not to be bothered as he can head to the nations capital and still not be the biggest idiot in the city like how normally he is. He mutters to himself, “Thank God Donald Trump is in office.” Do you think Donald Trump and Eric Reid head to mass together? If so, do they watch each other to see if they kneel at the right parts? Eric Reid will probably stand during it to protest the communion wafers. I think Redskins win this one after being humiliated on Monday Night Football. Look for Spanky Peterson to have a huge day, kidding don’t put that bum in your starting line up. Alex Smith will outduel Superfreak and the Redskin defense will play much better than they did.  Home cooking will be the thing to turn around those embarrassing Redskins from Drew Brees’ aerial assault.

JAGUARS AT COWBOYS                                                         COWBOYS

I feel like the great Jaguar defense is not that great anymore. I know the running game is suffering without Fournette in the line up. Bortles I still know is the quarterback. The Cowboys had a troubling OT loss last week. Everyone is talking about what happened to Prescott. He does not look like the same guy from last year. I think with all that noise from last week with Jerry Jones calling out his coach and people talking about the QB troubles, home cooking and hot cheerleaders is what the Cowboys need. Ezekiel Elliot has a monster game today. It will take the pressure off Prescott in fewer throws. I think the Cowboy defense could stop the Jaguar offense. Cowboys will be in the thick of things in that crappy division. Meanwhile the Jaguars will want to move to London, England and have tea with the Queen on Sundays.

RAVENS AT TITANS                                                                TITANS

Both teams come in at 3-2 for the season. Both teams coming off losses last week. This is one of those games where you can pick the winner out of the hat. Both teams played each other last year in Tennessee and the Titans won that one. It is me or does Joe Flacco look nervous when Jackson comes in at quarterback as the Ravens first round pick?  Is it because Joe Flacco has not done much since he signed a long term deal after that Superbowl the Ravens won a very long time ago? I think the Titans will take care of business in this one and rebound and win a close one as Joe Flacco will start feeling his days are numbered in Baltimore.

RAMS AT BRONCOS                                                              RAMS

Case Keenum once a long time ago played for the Rams. Plus the Rams defensive coordinator Wade Phillips used to coach the Broncos. Just some fun facts for a lopsided match up. If you lose to the Jets these days you probably should be kicked out of the league. Vanilla Ice Keenum can’t sling the rock well when he plays a talented defense. Rams have some talent that will be coming for the Ice Ice baby. Keenum should join the Flag Football League South and play for the Buccaneers or the Falcons. This one is not even fair as Rams win in a laugher. John Elway still leads the league in big teeth. Maybe it’s time to play Jim Kelly’s nephew or at least grandma she has a cannon for an arm.

CHIEFS AT PATRIOTS                                                           CHIEFS

This is the game of the week in my book. So now this game will not turn out the way I envision. This is the Rebels versus the Evil Empire. This could be a preview of the AFC championship. I know the Chiefs are undefeated. I know the Patriots are rolling. You can see the evil mastermind coming up with a game plan to confuse Patrick Mahomes. You could see Tom Brady wanting the spotlight more than this talked about Chief team. I think the Chiefs have things to prove here. A loss will only kink the armor as they can meet up for part two in the playoffs where the game will mean everything. If the Chiefs prevail it could set the Patriots back. The loss could sicken them and stay with them a long time and feel the pressure if they meet again in the playoffs. I like the CHIEFS. They will take out the Brady trash and bring down the Death Star as Foxboro will crumble and the Boston faithful will get the feeling their football dynasty is coming to a end along with the Red Sox hopes to get to the world series. Beantown will be in a depression all next week. At least Lebron left your conference in Basketball. Plus hey the Bruins are pretty good.

49ERS AT PACKERS                                                               PACKERS

This is the game the schedule makers figure Jimmy Garoppolo would be starting. They figured the Niners would be looking good out of the gate from Jimmy’s results from last season. Things have changed in the Bay Area since the injury. It’s time for the Niner fans to get your Warrior schedules out and figure out if there is any team that can disrupt your three peat is the way to go. It is very hard to win in Lambeau Field even if Rodgers is in a wheelchair. After coming off a loss from the kitty cats in Motor City, Green Bay will roll through the Niners like they don’t belong in the league. I do like Robbie Gould making some field goals in this one as the only points the Niners get in this one.

This week we will rant about three guys we know to be dead from the neck up. This week we have our first two time loser as he will win the Meathead of the week award. He is an overachiever in stupid.

FIRST MEAT OF THE WEEK: JERRY JONES

If you’re an owner of a sports team in Dallas, do you have to speak to media and give your opinion about everything related to your team? Last Sunday, Jason Garrett did not pull the trigger and go for it on 4th and 1 in Overtime against the Texans. Instead he chose to punt. The Texans eventually won the game 19-16. Then the owner Jerry Jones spouted out to the media regarding how he questioned his man not going for it on 4th down.

For decades Jerry Jones has been a type of owner that is hands-on everything when it comes to his team. He was the one that hired Jason Garrett and believed in his abilities to get the job done and lead the team to the playoffs. These days the Cowboys are not those teams they yelled to, “HOW ABOUT THOSE COWBOYS?!? The young talent has been regressing. The team does not have much depth on the roster. Jason Garrett’s job is coach what he has. If he thought the team was incapable of getting that first down, he should know more inside stuff than his busy body owner. If Jason Garrett went for it and the team did not make it, he’d still get criticism from Jerry Jones, I imagine. Jason Garrett was in a Prickly Pete kind of situation. The week before we saw Frank Reich go for it and that blew up in his face as that game was also vs the Texans.

Let your Coach coach. Don’t criticize your guy to the media. That can lead into other problems like players thinking they are free to say something about their coach. He calls himself a business man when he should know that is going to cause problems at the work place. If he has a problem, talk to him behind closed doors. If you don’t think he’s doing a good job, get rid of him. I don’t think many would want to take that job to work with a guy that’s always in your grill. Plus as the owner, is it not his job to give his coach a better roster to play with? That right there tells me Jerry Jones… you are DEAD FROM THE NECK .

SECOND MEAT HEAD OF THE WEEK: ODELL BECKHAM JR.

First of all, it looks like Odell has a yellow sponge on top of his head. Did you lose a bet, seriously? Only reason you like this guy is if he is on your fantasy team. If I was a Giants fan, I’d like how great of a receiver he is, but please hold the antics. The theater show when he scores a touchdown should have an intermission.  Then last year he pretended to be a dog and faked peeing as he was down on all fours, lifting his leg like an untrained junk yard dog.

I would be a Mike Vick fan if he caged Beckham and put him in the pit of misery against another crazy dog foaming at the mouth. Then Thursday night Odell Beckham is shown heading to the locker room early.  Seemed like no one told him to do that as he walked off by himself. He is punching things and throwing tantrums on daily basis. Definitely a guy who is only about himself. He can divide a locker room just by walking through the door. He would be a serious cancer to a good team. Send him to New England. Odell, you sir are definitely, DEAD FROM THE NECK UP!!!

ERIC REID, COLIN KAEPERNICK’S SIDE KICK

Our first two time loser. A few weeks back Eric Reid was a meathead because he was out of a job from the NFL. Then to see his idol land a big job at Nike. Everybody knows Eric Reid is Colin Kaepernick’s Tonto. Let’s not insult poor Tonto from the Lone Ranger. Finally the side kick landed a job, as the Carolina Panthers signed the bum. To be grateful and just play freaking football, he’s kneeling during the National anthem all by himself during his first game suited up. Makes Cam Newton look like he’s a model citizen. Eric Reid kneeling as a sign of protest. The more we talk about the kneeling, the more he gets his point across and the more they will talk about what this protest stands for. We will talk about his protest and

SORRY WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES………………

That is a shame. I really wanted to hear what it’s all about when it comes to Eric Reid kneeling. However we are out of time. Eric Reid you are the MEAT HEAD OF THE WEEK HURRAY !!!!!!

YOU ARE STILL DEAD FROM THE NECK UP WHATEVER UNIFORM YOU HAVE ON.

This our first power ranking of the NFL season.

We know nothing, but it is the NFL, so some weeks we will actually know something. Most weeks we know nothing. Hope we did not insult your team too badly. Hope we did not put the team you hate the most at a  higher ranking then the team you love. Because we are under staffed here, and we don’t have people looking through your windows to see what team you like and how we are going to screw you in our rankings. No NFL players were hurt in the process of getting these rankings together.

#1. LA RAMS              5-0                Rams seem to me the most together team in football. Offensively they can score with the best teams of the league. Love the name Cooper Cupp. If I was quarterback I would want to throw passes to Cooper. He reminds you of the slew of New England white receivers they have running routes. Boston is just a racist town, black receivers matter as well. Rams has that too, in Brandon Cooks, former Patriot. Always an unsung hero doing great things out there, Robert Woods seems forgotten. A guy that makes huge catches. This is a great group of receivers and very dangerous.  Does the “Girli Man” need to be pumped up?

No need for he will slash and dash right past you for hunks of yardage. Then The Rams defense is also one of the top ten. This is a team that should stay in the the top five of our charts the whole year unless they have a bus accident on the way to the stadium.

#2. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS    5-0         If they had another cold war, Kansas City would win as they have stockpiled weapons of mass destruction on their offense. You name it.  They have tanks with speed which also can run you over. They have stealths with heat-seeking missiles.  Throw some F-15s in the mix. I’m sure Andy Reid is sitting on the Nuke to unleash at the Super Bowl party. Teams will need to hire Jack Bauer as their defensive coordinator to keep Mahomes and his group in check.

My questions with the Chiefs are.. .Can Mahomes fire on all cylinders the rest of the year? People are still waiting for his bad game, will it happen? I know they do not have the worst defense in the league, but pretty close. Will that defense haunt them in the playoffs? Can’t see this team not winning their division.

#3. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS    4-1       If Drew Brees had all the quarterback all-time records, would people still think he not in the top three great quarter backs of all-time? If the Chargers would have held on to Drew Brees, would they still be in San Diego and perhaps have a Super Bowl trophy? I thought last year the Saints should have made it to the Super Bowl. The Saints started off slow out of the gates, but now they have warmed up. The offense welcome back their suspended running back, Mark Ingram. Now they have their two headed monster back in the backfield. I was talking Cold war with the Chiefs, but the Saints have collected lots of weapons as well. I think the Saints will continue to rise because the defense is playing well. Last year the defense was able to force the turn over and give the ball back to their offense. I can see the Saints getting back to the big dance.  Maybe Brees needs another Superbowl trophy in order to be talked about in the top three of all-time from the bar stools of others.

#4.NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS   3-2        Yeah, the Patriots are part of the top five. Yes indeed, a team most of the world wants to see just go away. However with Tom Brady and head coach Darth Vader, this team will still be a thorn in people’s sides. I hope Kansas City continues to play well as a possible team to get rid of the Evil Empire for good. If the Chiefs falter the Evil Empire, it’s an easy march through the rest of the AFC. The Shower Curtain and Big Ben are like the titanic sinking in the tar pits. Then the Jags come on, Bortles as your starting quarterback. Rivers is too busy piling up the kids in his family. It just looks too easy for the Evil Empire.

#5. CINCINNATI BENGALS 4-1    This thing about winning to save Marvin Lewis’ job started last season. The Bengals in the second half took it to teams and won like 5 out 6 games. This year they are off to a 4-1 start. Andy Dalton has been playing excellent. They have a Robin to go along with Batman, AJ Green. Tyler Boyd has been a nice weapon when AJ Green is doubled team. Plus their defense is no longer making the bone-headed plays. They are getting after people and stopping people and forcing turnovers like they did against Miami last week. They are no longer the Bumbles.

#6. CHICAGO BEARS 3-1

Before the season even got started, I thought the Bears were heading to a 6-7 win season. They sign Khalil Mack and now it looks like they have a bad ass defense. Jon Gruden is still wondering why someone should be drafted out of Buffalo University? He then trades him away and wonders why the team has no pass rush. Back to the Bears as new coach, new offense. Lots of weapons added on that side of the ball as well. Mitch Trubisky finally had his big game two weeks ago against the Buccaneers. I know their defense is horrid. However it always depends on the quarterback for most teams. If Mitch can play well, this team could have a rematch against the Evil Empire in the Superbowl. The defense is that good. We will see. Could we be having a conversation on who has the better defense… the 85 team or the 2018 team? We just need to bring back the Refrigerator Perry to run one in the Patriots in the big game to cap the win and end Brady’s career at the same time.

#7. MINNESOTA VIKINGS       2-2-1          Vikings coming off a huge win against the Eagles last week. Vikings had a let down against Buffalo. Their schedule has been very tough to start the season. Even Steven with a tie is not too bad, only 5 weeks in. Plenty of time to turn around that defense that is rumored to be great. Plus find a running game to make the offense well balanced. They will be coming to an easier part of their schedule and have a few weeks to fix everything and get back to the team from last year. Plus I think Cousins will get better and I still think he is better than any of the quarterbacks they had on their roster last year. They will win and make the playoffs with the talent they do have. My question is, can Cousins play like a high paid quarterback and win play off games. Anybody can collect the Money and win regular season games.

#8. CAROLINA PANTHERS 3-1                The Fig Newton has the Panthers off to a 3-1 start for the year. Looks like another regular season where the Superman of the league will be a one man army back there. Running the ball and throwing the rock.  I know Cam expects me to boast about him and him only, regarding why the Panthers are 3-1. Blame the defense on the loss. Indeed, I will not, as the defense, like always, needs to be known and as always is playing well. The Giants managed to come back on the Panthers last week. Panthers survived with a big boot from their kicker to ice the game with seconds left. Right now the Panthers are a top ten team. Not sure if they will stay there. Besides Fig Newton being soft, I can see other teams getting better by the week. Ron Rivera is a great coach but when things go South because of Cam, it’s hard to put his head back together.

Ask any reporter.

#9. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS  3-2              Jacksonville has the great wall, as in defense. However the Berlin fell as the Jaguars fell to the Chiefs last week. The Jaguars have a top defense. They can beat some top teams. However this team will play a clunker and their offense is the big reason. Their starting running back Fournette is hurt. What else to they really have? Shame on the ownership sticking with Bortles as the quarterback. The same Bortles that was picked before Khalil Mack in the draft. Is Bortles a game changer? The Jaguars could easily win their division unless they lose another field goal kicking contest to the Titans. Perhaps Andrew Luck will start getting his team going with a big run as he’s looking better and better each week. Even Houston won two in a roll. No wonder they talk about Jacksonville going to London, England to play four home games a year. If the Jaguars moved to England, would they make a sound?

#10. LA CHARGERS 3-2                   Chargers have the roster that is deep and loaded with talent. Talent on both sides of the football. You think they should be in the top ten, but do they really play like a team in the top ten? Everything with these guys is a struggle. They played against the 49ers’ back up QB and squeaked by. They had a huge lead on the Bills in the first half and took a nap in the second half.  Raiders last week, they won quietly 26 to 10. They have a chance to get a streak going as they play the Browns and the Titans in the next two weeks. Instead of being 5-2 which they should be, they will  end up 4-3. Then they will tease you at the end of the season when they win convincingly over some great team, then fall short and miss the playoffs. Does anybody in LA care? Especially sharing the town with the Rams.

#11.GREEN BAY PACKERS  2-2-1   I have not been impressed with the land of cheddar. I think they could easily be 1-4. If the Bears did not blow a 20 point lead in the last quarter of the game and if Charlie Brown, the kicker at the time for the Vikings, made a few simple field goals, this would be a whole new story. However they have Rodgers and they are treading water at this time. Just watch, this team will suddenly get red hot and win six straight and people will talking playoffs again. They have many holes on this team, but Rodgers has a horseshoe up his arse and his luck will keep them in the hunt. Maybe Clay Matthews will fly his drone into Rodgers’ good leg and end his season early. At least he can home to Danica, see the horseshoe continues to pay off.

#12. CLEVELAND BROWNS 2-2-1  I’m conducting an experiment. If I put the Browns high in the ranking, will they continue to climb towards the top or will they fall like in the game Chutes and Ladders. The Dawg pound has to have the biggest hard-on in the world to see Baker Mayfield behind center. Peeing on the fire hydrants, not angry any more has to feel enlightening for each mutt in the crowd. Good for Policemen is not having to change their pants as the cuff of their slacks are drenched in recycled beer, trying to enforce the law against the whiz kids. With the King James moving out of town and the Indians scalped in the playoffs, Mayfield might be the new Drew Carey in town. I will miss those parades though when they finished perfect, not winning one game.

#13.BALTIMORE RAVENS 3-2    Who are the Ravens? Are they good, bad or just plain ugly? This is a team that always screws you when it comes to predicting what they will do. They can beat the Steelers, lose to the Browns, and perhaps win this week against whoever. Flacco looks better with his new toys. The defense has played well. The pattern will show at some point as they are destined for an 8-8 season. You just have to figure out who they will beat, who’s on first, and if they will be a second place team or dead last in that division.

#14.PITTSBURGH STEELERS 2-2-1 The Steelers need some kind of defense. They somehow slowed down the Falcons last week. They are an offensive power house with an idiot for a head coach. Mike Tomlin is a defensive guy as he should have something in place better then what he has been doing all year. Every year for some reason I think the Steelers could contend with the Patriots for the AFC. However this year they might not even win the division as everyone has improved except them. They say Marvin Lewis needs to be fired every year from the Bengals. I’m telling you it’s time to fire Mike Tomlin. Does he  have pictures of the owner wearing a dress to keep his job like he’s a Pope?

#15.DETROIT LIONS 2-3  Lions have not been able to play the Patriot way yet. They have two big wins against talent like the Packers and the Patriots. The Packers missed 5 field goals but still it’s a win and it came against the division rival. Then they get destroyed by the Jets and lose to the 49ers. Jimmy was the starter when they played the Niners. They have many weapons on the offense. They have one of the best quarterbacks in the league, I would say Stafford is in the top ten. Do the players want to play for the bearded Muslim guy with a girlie last name? The Patriots coaches’ tree does not sprout very well outside the death star. This perhaps can be a slow start. Not impressed with a team with a lack of courage.

#16. WASHINGTON REDSKINS 2-2  They say the Redskins have a good defense. I think they lost it before they even played against the Saints on Monday Night. They say this was the rebirth of Alex Smith once again. They even said Spanky Peterson was going to whip some ass this year. They demolished the Cheeseheads before the Saints marched all over their deadskin bums. Another team like the Ravens, you don’t know who will show up every week and for sure you do not know what they will do. Forest Gump said it perfectly… they are like a box of chocolates and you don’t know what you will get.

#17. TENNESSEE TITANS 3-2  The Titans are a team that has a winning record. Perhaps will make the playoffs again like last year. It’s one of those teams that feast off the teams in their own division. They can beat the Jaguars, Colts and the Texans. They will find a win against other opponents here and there to get to that nine win mark. Last week they lost to the Bills on the road. This week they will come home and beat the Ravens. I like their defense. Marcus Mariota, another young quarterback, is regressing. I think they are a better team with Gabbert behind center. It’s one of those teams where you scratch your head and wonder how they made it to the playoffs?

#18.MIAMI DOLPHINS   3-2 The Dolphins are finally back down to earth as they started off 3-0. Now they have lost two in a row. They face the Bears on Sunday, that should even their record at 3-3. They have some names on both sides of the ball. I know Jay Cutler is not their quarterback like last year. That explains how they won three games. I do like Ryan Tannehill. He’s coming off a big injury that kept him off the field for an entire year. However he is not the same guy from two years ago. He is probably still trying to find himself. However with the Bears defense in town, it’s not a good time to be looking in the wrong direction.

#19.ATLANTA FALCONS 1-4  I have the Falcons high on my power rankings even though they have less wins than a handful of teams. I think they can win against many teams even with one of the worst defenses in the league. They are another team that lost some close games by one score so their record could easily be different. Matt Ryan and that offense is hard to match with some of the offenses these teams behind them have.

#20. HOUSTON TEXANS 2-3 Houston has finally won a game in the battle of Texas as they beat the Cowboys. This coming off the gift they got from the Colts the week before. See what one win does? It starts a winning streak. Texans have great receivers. They have big names on defense. They are going through some growing pains with Watson who looked awesome last year before the injury. Are things starting to come together? On paper they look like a great team, especially since they are not dealing with lots of injuries, like in years past.

#21. DALLAS COWBOYS 2-3        HOW ABOUT THOSE COWBOYS?!?!?! Looks like another young quarterback is regressing. Perhaps not having Dez Bryant is the major problem that explains why the team is not off to a good start. You know that is what Dez is thinking. Then Jerry Jones is questioning the head coach. Looks like Elliot has been a good citizen this year. Sounds like one big happy family because they have the hottest cheerleaders in the league.

How many cheer leaders do you think Dez Bryant has dropped over his career? You know the catch rule as Dez can never complete the process of the… you can fill your own blanks in.

#22. BUFFALO BILLS 2-3                Out of the Gates, Bills looked like the worst team in the history of the league. However a playoff team from last year has crawled back into some respective level. The defense needs to get the turnovers like a druggie needs its next fix to make things go right for the Bills.They are still dealing with growing pains of Josh Allen. With a poor offensive line ,the offense is sputtering. Bills need that defense to dominate if they are going to pull out more wins. They definitely need a dry wall guy to spackle the holes on the offensive line. Maybe a make over. Is Tim Taylor available ?

#23. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS 2-2  I believe the Devil screwed Ryan Fitzpatrick. Seriously Mr. Devil you took his soul and you only gave him 3 good games and a bad half. You think a Harvard guy’s soul is at least worth a half of a season. Now Winston is back behind center as Fitzmagic has sizzled out. So far Winston’s Uber rating is better than his quarterback rating. The defense is bleeping horse crap. Mitch Trubisky looking like he was playing catch out there as everyone was wide open for the Bears a few Sundays ago. At least they have the coolest ship inside their stadium out of any other teams. Well the Bears have a spaceship on top of their stadium. Bears got the win. let’s give the Buccaneers the ship thing.

#24. NEW YORK JETS 2-3             Jets are in the rebuilding stages. It’s a sneaky team. Opposing teams think “Oh the Jets, this should be an easy victory.” Then they bite your head off when you’re not even looking or paying attention and they win the game. Remember last year when Josh McCown was the quarterback, most of the season they were winning games. It’s close to the same roster, but they are still developing their rookie quarterback. Jets will be up and down on the charts all year.

#25. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 1-4   Colts record is bad. I think they are better than their own record. They could easily have a tie and be 1-3-1. However head Coach Frank Reich gave the Texans an early Christmas gift. I’m sure Watt and company will pay the Colts back when they are facing each other for a division title down the road in 2020. Andrew Luck is looking great. I think the Colts defense is a nice unit of some young and up and coming talent. I think the Colts will move up the charts before mid season.

#26. DENVER BRONCOS 2-3   You wonder why the Minnesota Vikings did not try to sign any of their quarterbacks on their roster from last year? I think they knew they had a three man band of one hit wonders. They use up their luck and find someone else. They say some people’s junk is another person’s treasure and the Broncos found Case Keenum on the curb, dusted him off, and put him behind center. Now they look very bad. Wasn’t John Elway a quarterback? You think a great quarterback can spot another great quarterback. Hey Jay Cutler is available.

#27. OAKLAND RAIDERS 1-4   You bring back Chucky AKA Jon Gruden and it sounds like a good idea, but to pay him like he is Jesus Christ Superstar is beyond stupid. First he did not want to pay Khalil Mack, a GAME CHANGER. A guy you build a team around. Then to complain about your own team and the lack of a pass rush. Then they sign a few washed up veterans who were once big names and are cast offs from their old team in hopes they can do something. The defense is a joke. Now it looks like once a franchise quarterback, is regressing. WELCOME TO LAS VEGAS! Do you actually know what you are getting? Thank God they have the Golden Knights there and slots and hookers to take you mind off the black hole of a football team.

#28. ARIZONA CARDINALS 1-4       I feel sorry for Larry Fitzgerald to come back for another year and now Sam Bradford is your starting quarterback. Then they signed Mike Glennon. Right then and there I would have left town or just hung up the spikes. Then they did draft one of the top quarterbacks, who played well, to beat the crappy 49ers. The automatic thing to do when you sign Mike Glennon is draft a quarterback in round one. So Larry will help the rookie develop, but the Cardinals will have to feast on division opponents that are not the Rams to get their wins.

#29. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS 1-4       It’s pure hell to be a 49er fan these days. It has to be roller coaster of emotions as they were up when Jimmy Garoppolo goes undefeated like last year behind center. Before Jimmy arrived the team was playing poorly. Before last year you had Colin Kaepernick as your quarterback. If I was a fan, I would slit my wrists having someone be kneeling while you’re losing the game. Yes 49ers at the time would lose before the game even started. The Niners back-up played well against the Chargers. Then to get beat by the Cardinals, you know your season is done for the year.

#30.NEW YORK GIANTS 1-5       This year with Cleveland actually winning games, you can not actually put them in anymore as the automatic last spot in the rankings. I found it hard to decide which team to put there then I watched the Giants on Thursday night football against the Eagles. I thought the Giants were actually turning the corner with the game against Carolina last Sunday. Then watching their offensive line crumble and Eli Manning can not escape to stretch out a play. It makes you wonder was it smart to pass up one of those quarterbacks in the draft. Don’t get me wrong, Barkley is an awesome running back. Running backs can grow in your pepper garden. Quarterbacks are harder to come across, especially a guy that can take over for ten years. This move will set this franchise back. Plus Beckham is a talent, but a dog at the same time, that can bring down a team with his sunny personality.

THE THURSDAY NIGHT GAME

OCTOBER 11,2018

Last week: We predicted a winner as the Patriots took down the Colts.

OUR RECORD ON THURSDAY NIGHTS: 3-1

TONIGHT’S MATCH UP

EAGLES AT GIANTS

Must be nice to be in the division with the Giants and Eagles. Then you have the Dead Skins and too scared Cowboys to go for it on 4th and 1 in overtime last week. What happened to the Eagles? They win the Superbowl and this year they looked like they improved their team with adding to the core mix. Now they are in the market for a running back since are they are falling like flies. Then the G-MEN. The Giants have some elite playmakers on offense. They have a quarterback that has won two Super Bowls. However they find themselves in every game but at the end of the night they end up losing like every team in their division.  Both teams have burned us this year badly as I wrap myself up and look like Darkman just in time for Halloween.

I think you have to think the upset here. I like the Giants in this one as I believe the Eagles come in the favorite by a ball hair. The Giants will easily stop the run and concentrate on the Eagles air assault. Eli Manning is having a good year. I think a primetime game will get the dog wanting to win. Beckham did well last week and I can see him repeating his performance on Eagle defense that is having many problems stopping anyone. I like the kid at running back, Barkley, to have another big game with his legs carrying the ball and catching the ball out of the backfield. It will be a well fought battle but Giants take this one at home.

OUR PICK: GIANTS

 

Another NBA season is upon us. Looks like another player wants out of his situation and the city he plays for. The latest guy that wants out is Jimmy Butler. Last season the Chicago Bulls traded him to the Timberwolves. Now with one year left on his deal and only having played one season in Minnesota, he wants out. He reunited with his former coach from the Bulls, Tom Thibodeau. Plus a few X teammates he played with in Chicago. Some people would call the Timberwolves, Chicago Alumi. Whatever you want to call them, they did make the playoffs last season. First time in a very long time.The city and the Timberwolves were hoping to build from that and go further into the playoffs. Now another superstar wants to take his ball and go somewhere else.

This is why the NBA is horrible. If you are building  something and a big piece of your puzzle leaves. You wine and dine them. You teach them, you pay them big bucks, and not even the length of the contract goes by before they want out. They want to play with their buddies. They want to form their own Avengers club. Jimmy Butler gave his list of demands for which team he wants to play for. Of course he wants to play with his buddy and of course the money has to be there. Have we seen this song and dance before? Lebron James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh. These guys plotted and plotted some more to form the first superpower, the Miami Heat. Lebron James eventually went back to Cleveland and helped his old city win a championship. Then he realized he could not beat the Warriors anymore, so he left Cleveland again, and now he’s off to the Lakers. Hollywood gives the King another ransom to put in his pool of riches. Plus a slew of younger guys looking to take it to next level. Plus a cap that will probably bring in a few of Lebron’s buddies before the roster is ready to take down the Warriors. Look at the Warriors, who built something special. Then they added Kevin Durant a big star. Now the Warriors are an even bigger superpower. While Oklahoma, Durant’s former team, is still treading water after they almost took down the Warriors in the playoffs when Durant was still playing for the thunder.

The NBA these days have like two super powers. Then the league has a small group of second tier teams that are good. Then the rest of the league is watered down. Could you ever see the Sacramento Kings emerging in the playoffs like the days when Chris Webber had that team close to the NBA finals. Teams like the Kings might come along once every 50 years if they get lucky on draft and are able to keep a team together. Small cities with small markets will not succeed in present time days with all the players leaving teams to join their buddy or seek a championship while riding the coat tails of others.

How do you improve the NBA while letting the player movement continue? What can you do to give every team in the league a fair shot? I would turn the league into a fantasy league. First fire all the NBA coaches. What do you need from them anyways? Lebron James goes through coaches like changing his underwear. Each team signs a captain which is a player. Like on a playground or in a draft room, they picked their teams. Each team takes a turn of the pool of current players and throw in the draft as well. The season remains the same including the playoffs. Then you do it all over again the following year and put all the players back in the pool and pick them again. The team that wins the championship, they pick last the next season. Since none of the players these days stick in one town now, they would not have to worry. Every year may be a different scene. If the Captain of the team is not working out, he can go back in the pool and the team can try to sign another captain that can do a better job at picking or has a better group of friends in the hoop world. Maybe you can add keepers if the newest NBA takes off. If that is the case each team would have a threesome of buddies. Then those three buddies picks the rest of their rosters. Then you can have a Shiva bowl trophy like the show, The League, had.

In reality NBA teams have been working if they are running a fantasy team. Look at how many teams are trying to clear their books. They want no one their current rosters signed. Teams like the Knicks, Clippers and the Nets are racing to clear salary to sign the next big wave of free agents. They take on guys with one year deals. Then pounce on the free agents and try to land three big names. Everyone that has played any kind of fantasy knows they have guys in their league who have given up on their season. Then they start selling off their assets for draft picks. Jimmy Butler – teams he wants to go to is the Clippers or the Knicks. If Minnesota trades Butler to one of these places, you will see suddenly others will join Butler on another up and coming Avengers” team. Most think it will be “Red rover red rover let Kyrie Irving come over.” Then the two would need a Thor in the middle and life will be good for one of those now crappy teams. Basketball in that whatever city will have some life restored along with some hope. However a few basketball teams and their city will see bad days. Once an intriguing roster gutted by someone abandoning ship as they Red Rover out of town to play with their pals. The NBA will have a few superpowers. Maybe a different superpower. Then some pretty good second tier teams. Then the rest of the league will still be hot garbage. The NBA of the present and future. A league that should be taken out to the dumps.

Last week we could have done better picking out of a hat than our rational thinking. Everything went wrong when we only won 6 match ups.

OUR RECORD OVERALL AFTER 3 WEEKS OF PICKING IS 22-25…

The first week we skipped. We were too busy chasing skirts and playing Guitar rock on an eight track player. Last week we should have skipped and made up a Jewish Holiday of some kind to avoid the dismal picking we did.

If you bet opposite of us… you will probably win big.

NFL WEEK FIVE

MATCH UP                                                      OUR WINNER

JAGUARS AT CHIEFS                                       CHIEFS

This match up is offense against defense. They say a good defense always beats a good offense. Jaguars ran it up on the Jets last week. They have prevailed over the Evil Empire in the revenge game from last year . However this will be their biggest challenge of the year trying to stop this animal. Which animal do you try to stop as the Chiefs have a Swiss Army knives of choices they can play with? Plus Jacksonville going on the road to try to stop this octane offense. The Jaguars usually lay a clunker after a big win. Can we say the Titan game? I don’t see Bortles putting up the kind of points he did against the Jets even though the Chiefs’ defense is not that good. Especially without their running back, Fournette. The Chiefs will be challenged, but Mahomes does not look frazzled back there and he will score just enough to beat big mouth Ramsey and the Jags. Plus the Chiefs defense will be able to contain the likes of Bortles a few drives to preserve the lead. Chiefs by a touchdown in this one.

FALCONS AT STEELERS                                                                               STEELERS

Those old commercials for Wendys where the little old lady asks, “Wheres the beef?”

In this match up, the beef represents defense. This match up will have no defense. This will be a shoot out at high noon. Big Ben and Jesse James will be drinking shooters at the saloon as they protect their town from the dirty birds. The key in this contest is the Falcons have sustained too many injuries on defense. They cant stop anybody. Meanwhile the shower curtain should be able to stop one of the Falcon drives. Can’t believe Mike Tomlin still is the head coach. Steelers hold on to coaches like they’re relics in which Tomlin is just scrap metal.

TITANS AT BILLS                                                                                        BILLS

I know what you are thinking. Quit sniffing the glue. Did I fall and hit my head? Maybe all the above. This is my upset of the day. Bills win this at home. I think the Bills defense has been improving as they took it to the Vikings, held Rodgers and the Cheese Whiz only to 22 points. I think the offense will improve this week after being shut out last week with a little home cooking. Besides the Titans seem to only beat teams in their division. Yes, they were able to win against the Eagles. I feel they will over look the Bills in this one and fall on the road. Plus the Titans offense has been dull as a butter knife so far. Bills defense will be the key . They will force a few turnovers to seal the deal. Can someone pass the Elmers please?

BRONCOS AT JETS                                                                                    BRONCOS

I think it’s time for Case Keenum to show something this season. The Vanilla Ice one year wonder has not done anything to award him with the money he got to come to Denver. The man has weapons. The Mile High fan will be screaming to put in Jim Kelly’s nephew if this bum does not have a good game at some point. I think Von MIller will be able to track down Darnold and make him uncomfortable. The Broncos’ defense should give their offense some good field position. It’s up to Keenum if he wants to have a breakout game. If not he should be able to put just enough points for his team to squeak by.

PACKERS AT LIONS                                                                                     PACKERS

I just do not trust the Lions. One week they can beat up on Tom Brady. The other weeks they always lose by one score. Meanwhile Rodgers, still on one leg, is still making big plays. Lions need to either knock Rodgers out of the game or beat up on the back up cheeses. The one with salami bits in the block of cheese is my favorite. Or the Lions pray for a bus crash. I see the Packers winning this one by a score as this script has been done to death when these two teams meet.

RAVENS AT BROWNS                                                                                RAVENS

These two teams have been screwing me all year. Thought after the change at quarterback for the Browns, it would be CLEVELAND ROCKS every Sunday. However their defense disappeared against the Raiders. I do not know what to think. Then Joe Flacco is quietly having a good season. His new weapons have been very helpful, and the Raven defense has been playing well. The stat I like in this one is the Ravens defense over the last few seasons has a crazy record for beating rookie quarterbacks like 20 and 1. Love to see Baker Mayfield come up with the big play to win this one. I think Ravens will do what they do against rookies and pull out another division win.

GIANTS AT PANTHERS                                                                                    PANTHERS

Who is a bigger dog? Beckham of the Giants or the Fig Newton of the Panthers? This game will be a battle. Both teams will grind this game out to the end. One team will be standing as the final whistle is blown. The Carolina defense will force Manning into a turnover that will cost the Giants a win. Beckham will get mad. Fig Newton can pretend he is Superman for another week. I wonder if Newton thinks Beckham is a dog. Then you wonder if Beckham thinks Newton is a dog. If only both of them can look in the mirror to see their dog mugs. Not a purrtty reflection in either mirror.

 

DOLPHINS AT BENGALS                                                                            BENGALS

Dolphins came back down to earth last week as they lost big to the Patriots. Meanwhile the Bengals… are they for real? Both teams are 3-1 coming into this contest. The Bengals have another weapon that has risen from the ashes of the gridiron. Tyler Boyd along with AJ Green have gave opposing defenses lots of problems. With the red Rifle Andy Dalton on top of his game and the running game, the Bengals offense has been a force to reckon with. Since the second half of last season when the Bengals won like 5 out 6 games to save Marvin Lewis’ job and to start 3-1 they are one of the best teams in football. I do not think the Dolphins can keep up with the Bengals. Plus I don’t think they can stop the Bengals in this contest. Dr. Johnny Fever has Bengals winning by double digits over Ace Ventura’s squad.

RAIDERS AT CHARGERS                                                                             CHARGERS

Chucky finally won his first game back in coaching. The Raiders still with no defense won against the Browns in a shoot out. Meanwhile the Chargers who are 2-2 who you always think should be playing better than they do. The Chargers won against the 49ers last week beating their back up quarterback in a struggle. I think Phillip Rivers can beat many quarterbacks in an old fashioned shoot out. Rivers will have a huge day. The Raiders will score some points but the Charger defense will be to contain Chucky’s offense and perhaps force Carr to throw an interception. Chargers win this one easily.

CARDINALS AT 49ERS                                                                        49ERS

49ers played very well last week. Cardinals lost a close one to Seattle. This is a game no one gives a damn about. Maybe fantasy aspects. Cardinals are developing a rookie quarterback. While Niners are adjusting to a season without Jimmy. Beathard played well last week against a pretty good defense that the Chargers bring to the table. The 49ers’ overall roster is much better than the Cardinals. I think 49ers win this toilet bowl by a stinky. One score.

VIKINGS AT EAGLES                                                                      EAGLES

What the hell happened to both of these teams? Both have been going in the wrong direction and have fallen into harder times. Both of these teams were supposed to contend and had visions of going deep into the playoffs. This is a big game to save one team’s season. Both teams have been playing difficult schedules. Both teams are rumored to have great defenses. This game will be a shootout as that is the theme of the year in the NFL. Both quarterbacks will put up numbers. Kirk Cousins knows the Eagles playing them twice a year. I like the Eagles being at home. It will be a close game. But Eagles will make one more stop than the Vikings to ice this one.

RAMS AT SEAHAWKS                                                              RAMS

Once upon a time it seems like a long time ago, this would have been a good game to watch. The Seahawks no long have the Legion of Boom defense. Their players flip each other off rather than high five each other. Maybe that’s a new strategy in Pete Carol’s book. Tough love instead of jumping in a guy’s arms and hugging them like Pete usually does. Rams have every part of their game working well. They are stacked on both offense and defense. “Run, Forrest Gump, Run” are the words that echo in Wilson’s ears these days. Seahawks struggled against the Cardinals last week, but won. Rams win big in this one.

COWBOYS AT TEXANS                                                         TEXANS

The battle of the Lone Star State. Texans have only won against the Cowboys one time when these two teams have played each other. Texans finally got a gift win from the colts last week. Frank Reich, the head coach of the Colts, even wrapped it up with a pretty bow. The Cowboys are ‘Even Steven.’ Both teams have been screwing me all year. Most teams have done that. I think the Texans finally getting that first win of the season will get this team going. I think Watson wins this through the air with the big plays to his dangerous weapons he has at receivers. It will be a close game with the Cowboys’ running attack. As the day goes on, the big arm of Watson will prevail. Plus I think Watt and Clowney will finally make an appearance this year and get their defense with big play capability. They’ll make something happen that will help the Texans win the Battle of Texas. Cowboys still has the best cheerleaders in the league. Good for you Jimmy Jones..

REDSKINS AT SAINTS                                                               SAINTS

The Redskins coming off a bye week have started the season off pretty good. The Skins have a very good defense going as well. The Saints are still dangerous on offense. They are marching the season off to a great start. I do not think the Redskin defense will be able to slow down Brees and company. Alex Smith and Spanky on offense are not designed for a shoot-out. Plus the Saints’ defense has improved as they are getting the turnovers like they did last season. This game will start close. Then the Saints will roll at home and win this game by two scores.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week three of Dead from the Neck up and we have all new Meatheads to discuss. The NFL continues to be a gold mine for this segment.

FIRST MEAT HEAD OF THE WEEK: FRANK REICH

I love Frank Reich especially when he played for the Buffalo Bills.  My favorite game of all-time was when he led that comeback in the playoffs against the Houston Oilers. I think Frank Reich is going to be an excellent coach as well. He has already done wonders for the Colts this season. What the hell are you calling in overtime? The Colts and Texans all tied up. The Colts were at their own 43 yard line with less than a minute left in overtime. It was 4th down and 4 yards to go. The Colts tried first to draw the Texans off sides. Did not work so Colts called a time out. Then after talking about it, Frank Reich sends out his offense again. Are the Colts trying again to draw the Texans off sides? No. They run a play and Andrew Luck’s pass is short and bounced in front of the Receiver. Texans get the ball back. With like 27 tics remaining on the clock, Texans complete a 24 yard pass. Then a time out. Then like a blink of an eye, a field goal that seals the deal for the Texans. I understand aggressive play like how the Eagles did that to the Evil Empire in the Superbowl. Slow down high speed it is only week four and you gave the Texans their first victory of the year. Plus it is a division game as well. You have to punt the ball there and settle for the tie. He has a young team and you have to build up their confidence with wins and settle for the tie. More positives than negatives early on will help the Colts improve quicker. Down the road when everything is gelling, that play might work. Frank Reich you are dead from the neck up on that play call.The porch light was on that moment, but nobody was home. Hope he is not haunted by this one play one game if they lose the division by a game.

THE SECOND MEAT HEAD OF THE WEEK: DOUG MARONE

Doug Marone reminds me of one of those college coaches. Uses the programs as stepping stones to move up in the world. Will abandon something in the making and head somewhere else for a few extra bucks. Doug Marone was the head coach for the Buffalo Bills. The team was on the rise. The team had a great defense. Then he found a loop hole to get out of his contract. The Bills project was not quite finished and he bolted. Rex Ryan came in to ruin the Bills project. Meanwhile Dougie Marone thought for sure he was going to land the Jets job. This is the kind of slime he is. Bolt out of a job with an organization that gave you your first chance and then head to a division rival. However the Jets probably smelled the snake oil in his blood and did not hire him.  Doug had to play second fiddle for someone else’s coaching staff. He found himself in Jacksonville. Then when Jacksonville fired Gus Bradley, Doug Marone pounced on the carcass like a vulture and became the interim coach. Then he became the main man in Jacksonville and guided them to the playoffs.  Beside his snake oil skin, he found himself playing the Jets last weekend. He decided to stick it to the team that refused his services. The Jaguars were up by plenty to run out the clock and call it a day. Marone the fargin icehole he is and plenty of people have said that to him.

Doug Marone and his Jaguars ran plays to score more to rub the Jets faces into it. First of all I’m glad your varsity team could beat on the Jets freshman team . Yes, Marone you destroyed a team with a rookie quarterback and team in rebuilding year. Beating a coach like Todd Bowles who is a class act who has nothing to do with your gripe with the team’s ownership. Doug Marone you sir are snake weasley Meat for brains and YOU are dead from the neck up. I hope the Jaguars get destroyed by someone in the playoffs. That will show the Gooch that bullies will get theirs.

THE MEAT HEAD OF THE WEEK: EARL THOMAS

Earl Thomas the last Ice Hole from the legion of boom defense for the Seattle Seahawks. Where does Pete Carol find these guys from? Notice all of the inmates on the Boom defense are salty characters. Cheap shot thugs. I’m thinking Penitentiary U. Pete Carol, another coach with snake oil in his blood. Probably peel it back and he’s something out of V. Earl Thomas has a long list of reasons this season for why he is dead from the neck up. First he was a hold out wanting more money. Then he wanted to be traded to the team he wanted to go to. Sounds like a ransom deal gone bad. Maybe the Seattle Seahawks don’t deal with terrorists these days. Then when he did finally show up, he suited up and played pretty well. However the saga continues with Earl Thomas as he was too good to practice with the team. Then last weekend the final piece of Legion of Boom has left the field. This time Earl was not dealt to another team. He did not hang up the spikes. He left the field from an injury. I do not like to laugh at injured people. Could it have been skipping out on practices and holding out that contributed to the latest cart ride off into the sunset. He left with his middle finger stuck up in the on position. The bird was flashed at the Seattle side line. Maybe it means he is now free as a bird. However he might need to get a list together and make up for all the bad things he has done before any team signs him.

MY NAME IS EARL

However he does have the Crab Man look going.

Maybe they can reboot “My Name is Earl” and put Earl Thomas as the new Crabman. You can do a whole series of the Legion of Boom defense consisting of their atrocities they have caused.

EARL THOMAS YOU ARE DEAD FROM THE NECK UP

Even the Doctors can not help Earl. However congrats Earl, you are our Meat head of the week!!!!