THE BEER LABEL ART POWER RANKINGS
| RANK | NAME OF BEER | SUBMITTED |
| 1 | ARGUS LAGER | 9-1-18 |
| 2 | SAWDUST CITY DAYS | 11-9-18 |
| 3 | RASPBERRY TRUFFLE ABDUCTION | 3-3-19 |
| 4 | DEATH BY VIKING | 12-11-17 |
| 5 | BLUE FISH BRUT | 4-19-20 |
| 6 | BARLEY FIFE | 1-24-19 |
| 7 | BLONDE BOMBER | 5-25-20 |
| 8 | UNDERWATER SPACE GATOR | 8-19-17 |
| 9 | DRAGON LADY DOPPLEBOCK | 6-2-17 |
| 10 | ARCTIC PANZER WOLF | 7-27-18 |
| 11 | NECRON 99 | 11-19-17 |
| 12 | CONEY ISLAND ALBINO PYTHON | 4-15-18 |
| 13 | THE BROWN NOTE | 7-21-17 |
| 14 | DEESKO! BERLINER STYLE WEISSE BEER | 5-2-17 |
| 15 | ANDHIM’S DRAGON BREW SUPER KOLSCH STYLE ALE | 2-20-18 |
| 16 | ELECTOR IMPERIAL RED ALE | 10-19-17 |
| 17 | HOPTIMUS IMPERIAL RED ALE | 3-17-17 |
| 18 | SPACE STATION MIDDLE FINGER | 2-26-17 |
| 19 | NIGHT OF THE UNDEAD | 3-29-20 |
| 20 | MORNING GLORY ESPRESSO STOUT | 3-22-20 |
| 21 | ANGER BLACK INDIA PALE ALE | 11-30-19 |
| 22 | BATTLE FLOWER BLUEBERRY WHEAT | 10-28-19 |
| 23 | BAH HUMBUG | 1-10-18 |
| 24 | BLACK AND BLUE GRASS | 6-19-17 |
| 25 | REAPER VS UNICORN | 4-10-17 |
| 26 | RUINATION DOUBLE IPA | 5-19-17 |
ABOVE IS OUR RANKINGS OF THE BEST DAMN BEER LABEL ART THAT WE HAVE FOUND ON CANS AND BOTTLES. EACH LABEL WE WILL TELL YOU WHAT OUR OPINION OF THE ART IS. WE MIGHT NOT BE ART SAVVY. HOWEVER WE DO LIKE TO VISIT THREE FLOYDS BREWERY FROM TIME TO TIME. PLUS WE LIKE GRAPHIC NOVELS AND BOOKS WITH POP UP PICTURES IN IT. EACH LABEL WE MIGHT GO BED, BATH, AND FAR BEYOND WHAT THE ACTUAL MEANING ON THE LABEL IS. ENJOY…
PLUS WE HAVE CAPTAIN CAVE MAN ON THE SEARCH FOR THE BEST MAN CAVE STUFF ON THE WALLS. PLUS HE WILL BE CHECKING OUT ALL THE LOCAL WATERING HOLES, SHACKS, AND HOVELS IN SEARCH OF THE BEST BEER DECOR. HE WILL SWEAT OUT SUDS AT TAVERNS, BARS AND SALOONS JUST TO FIND THE COOLEST SIGNS AND THE HOTTEST GALS ON THE WALL. CAPTAIN CAVE MAN MIGHT BE A HAIRY DUDE BUT HE IS NO AMERICAN PICKER WHEN IT COMES TO PICKING OUT A NEON SIGN OR BEER BABE THAT WILL MAKE YOU THINK COWABUNGA.
BEER LABEL ART
Mad Town Nut Brown, brewed by Ale Asylum, has a label depicting something going down you hope you never have to be a part of. Grave diggers use machines these days to bury a body. This label looks like they are trying to get rid of a body. Get rid of the evidence of the person you just dispatched. If you’re a smart ass, you could say burying your pet hamster so little Jimmy does not cry in your ears. “Sorry little Jimmy, your hamster left to go to the farm downstate,” is how that conversation went down.
This label is definitely not a midnight stroll of two people carrying shovels on a night out with a full moon. This label reminds me of an old movie, “An American Werewolf in London.”
I remember watching the movie on VHS as a young kid and getting scared when the guy turns into wolf.
The show, “Sons of Anarchy” was about a motorcycle gang for whom killing people and getting rid of bodies was the norm on each episode. Steven King played a character called Bachman who specialized in getting rid of bodies.
Tig Trager, a slime ball on Sons Of Anarchy, probably led the group with getting rid of bodies.
Tigs Trager was the type to have sex with a female body before he got rid of the body completely. Sons of Anarchy, besides grave digging, had a guy at the crematory burning some of the bodies to a crisp, to make it easier on the back digging holes.
I have watched almost all the FX shows. Above in the show, “The Americans,” the Russian spies are folding up bodies into suitcases as bones are cracking.
Then you had characters that played guys like Bachman, that specialized in taking care of sticky situations. Ray Donovan and the Wolf may be two of the greatest at their jobs in the history of television.
Then the greatest monster truck besides Big Foot goes to the Grave Digger. How many cars did the Grave Digger put down or I should say crushed?
How would you like to be a part of this patch? Initiation might not be so fun to be a part of their crowd.
BEER LABEL ART
This label caught my eye years ago and that’s a main reason why I purchased the Blonde Bomber. This Blonde Bomber has nothing to do with Terry Bradshaw, from the Pittsburgh Steelers, back in the day when he was behind center. Blonde Bomber is brewed by Veterans Brewing Company. It’s a beer that is no longer around, which is a shame because it was a great beer to drink. At the time when they were around, some of the profits went to disabled veterans from each purchase. I love the planes on the labels. Bombers flying high and ready to leave their mark on the world. Or flatten an evil terrorist who’s out sunbathing. Then suddenly an eclipse happens as he might resemble that old garbage pail kid, Flat Pat.
On Memorial Day, we salute our veterans with some of our favorite war movies of all-time. They may not be the best of the best . They will not be in any special order. Each of our sleeper picks have some interesting moments and some great acting that have made these movies an interesting flick to watch, as we remember our fallen.
All’s we have to say is Bruce Willis is in this movie.
An epic tank battle in this film.
A medic who refuses to carry a gun in the battle field. All he needs is a knife and his medic bag to make a difference.
The mission was to get up the hill and take it as an important strategic move during these epic battles.
Saving Wendy from Ronald McDonald’s vision to monopolize the burger world, is a big deal in this show down.
Helicopters falling from the sky. Love all helicopter movies. The words “Black Hawk down, we have a Black down,” echoes inside your mind
Tom Hanks is awesome in this movie. Just what these missions are all about as soldiers will risk their lives for the sake of the mission , which was to save Private Ryan.
This is one of those movies you discover late at night. You start watching it and it sucks you in. You may not know the title until it’s over. Platoon leader is underrated.
This may be my favorite Vietnam movie of all-time. How many bullets did it take to take down the character of Willem Dafoe? All-star cast as well.
Twelve convicts from military prison on a mission. If they complete, it they will be set free. They also risk their own lives as well.
Your favorite lolly pop detective, Kojak. Telly Savalas plays a bad dude in the Dirty Dozen.
The next mission for the Dirty Dozen is when the team takes down a Nazi train.
Steel Workers going off to war. Great story of the war coming home. What friends and families go through when their loved ones go off to see horrible things.
Apocalypse Now had the best line in any war movie.
HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!!!!
These colors don’t run..
BEER ART LABEL
Blue Fish Brut IPA’s bottle is made by Shipyard brewing. Around the neck of the bottle of beer, Shipyard has it’s cool logo of an old Clipper ship. Then on the main label below it is a guy fishing in a row boat. He’s on top of a big gigantic blue fish rising out of the water. First thing you think of is the old Jaws movies.
The very first Jaws movie was an instant classic. Then each Jaws movie dwindled in excitement after that. Jaws had the hired hitman style of shark hunter, Sam Quint, who the town hired to go after Jaws.
You have to compare Sam Quint to the gator wrestlers characters like Crocodile Dundee, Paul Hogan.
Besides Jaws, maybe Deep Blue Sea was the only well done movie about sharks. The rest of the movies are like Jason from Friday the 13th. Instead of a guy in a hockey mask, it’s a shark trying to eat swimmers. Sharks obviously love babes in bikinis chasing after them in the waters. It seems like only long legged beauties in these waters.
(THE SHALLOWS NANCY ADAMS)
Then in the movie Sand Sharks, those fish love a good beach snack.
In these movies, do you root on the sharks to eat the surfer dudes? In the movie Sand Sharks, I guess these hungry fish are like tremors and can go through the sand. Why not let the shark eat the bad actor in this movie?
We know this actor did not go to Ridgemont High.
Then we have to discuss the Police Academy series of Shark movies. Sharknados which have quite a few out there, like how Police Academy got up there with citizens on patrol. Imagine sharks flying in the air like a tornado on a feeding frenzy.
Then in the Shark movie genre is Bait, a classic thriller. Sharks find their way into a mall. I picked a bad day to hit the Gap for a pair of socks.
How would a Rick Grimes fear in the waters infested by zombie Sharks?
Blue Fish Brut can just be a bad day for fishermen.
It can turn you into a grumpy old man. Maybe not all of them will be grumpy, some still show the spirit.
BEER LABEL ART
Five Best Zombie Movies to Watch While Home-bound
- 1978 Dawn of the Dead
3. Land of the Dead
4. Night of the Living Dead
5. Zombie Land
Best Zombie Kills
Best Amazon Driver in an Apocalypse
Bad Ass Zombies
Best Find in an Apocalypse
Best One-Handed Zombie Fighter
Best Zombie Fighter with One Leg Missing
Best Zombie Posse
The Most Important Guy in a Zombie Apocalypse
Best Swing by Neagan
The Baddest Ass of Them All
Beer Art
Every morning should start off with an espresso like her. Morning Espresso Glory Espresso Stout brewed by Old Dominion Brewing takes you back to the days of war. As you look through the window you see a military fighter plane parked on the runway. This could have been one of those nights an Air Force Pilot got lucky in Kentucky. As the female companion is a complete knock out wearing dog tags and some of the uniform that was quickly tossed to the side only a few hours ago with this morning hump. This label brings you back to some troubled times but some nice innocent times also. Lets dive deep into the Espresso Goddess of a label and see what else we can bring to the table.
The advertisements back then were using females in uniforms around war time. How pretty they look in a Military cap and uniform. Like how some girls look amazing in a baseball cap. Plus smoke em if you got them. No lung cancer talk back then. Cigarettes were like the diet of some girls to stay thin.
What about the gals on roller skates as we move further into the future? The short shorts. Getting a burger delivered to the car with some long legged beauty. Now that’s better than door dash.
Arnold’s drive in or any dive diner lets not forget about Pinky Tuscadero from the show Happy Days. No wonder the Fonz used to say, “HEYYYYY!!!” Look at her. A red head with spunk exposing her stomach on your bike. Some hate spunk. This Spunk you can not go wrong with.
Then ladies on skates like the fights in the video game, Blades of Steel. Women’s roller derby. Tough girls with tattoos exposed in skimpy outfits that want to bring a smack down to the other opposing team. The 1970s were big for roller derby with chicks at high speeds chasing after each other like the Indy 500 race.
Women in uniform from Hollywood being Female warriors.
Trained for combat. Trained to kill. Something about a women with a gun being a total bad ass and conquering her mission versus the enemy. If you end up in the position seeing her the next morning half dressed with her kill clothes, you may need Gatorade because you may be going another round in a heated passion marathon to get the mission off their minds.
THE HIDE OUT
CAPTAIN CAVEMAN IS THE MAN ABOUT THE MAN CAVE DECOR
We have found a nice relic sign at the Hideout in Chicago. The drummer of Radio Collective sent us this art hanging on the wall in a jazz joint. The Hideout was a former speakeasy during the prohibition days. We don’t like to use the word prohibition around these parts anymore.
The Hideout became a public house in 1916. It served Chicago alcohol during the 1919 Black Sox scandal.
Before 1916 the Hideout was a boarding house for local factories. On the wall, drummer Robert Chinnici found the land of sky blue waters.
If you have a man cave you need to have something on your wall from Hamm’s beer. Should be a rule.
Usually drummers beat to their own tune. But Southside Bob is our number one drummer we know.
He may be the only drummer we know. So don’t hold that against us.
BEER LABEL ART
ANGER BLACK INDIA PALE ALE
This is the second label in a row from Greenbush brewing. Third label overall from Greenbush that we have written about. Anger Black India Pale Ale reminds me of when that somebody is raged out because of something you might or might not have done. Perhaps you’re an innocent bystander in the whole situation.
You’re walking down Hogan’s Alley and “Boom” someone shoots your head off for whistling Dixie.
In any guy’s mind, you want to say to this gal, you’ve got the wrong Hogan. Bob Krane was probably killed from an Anger that most would not want to see. All those years videotaping his bed room conquests with all the women he slept with. Taping them without them knowing. I believe his murder is still unsolved to this day.
Besides dealing with what every guy deals with, the Anger bottle has a Godzilla monster on it. Shooting out flames and causing havoc around him. I think of all those old movies. I think of the greatest host of all those old movies on Saturday night.
Svengoolie and his rubber chickens. The way he would say the town of Berwyn. He would say “BERRRR-WYNNNNN”
Svengoolie had an unbelievable cult following. Lots of big names. Lots of scary dudes. Lots of babes.
Every Saturday, Svengoolie had a horror movie playing on the old antenna television. Lots of them were versions of King Kong, Planet of the Apes, Godzilla and Godzilla versus every monster imaginable.
Godzilla grew scarier as the years went by. As television evolved, the monster evolved. The first Godzilla movies, he seemed to gravitate to Japan. He walked through, eating and knocking down buildings on a big rampage.
Then they brought monsters together to fight each other. The famous rival of Godzilla would be King Kong. They would be compared to Ali and Frazier in the boxing ring.
MOTHRA VERSUS GODZILLA
Godzilla was always on the fight card with some other monster. Comics had him fighting the swamp thing. They even had a robotic monster back in the day. Godzilla even fought all the prehistoric monsters.What would be a good fight card today if you had Godzilla going against other monsters from other worlds. Other movies basically.
GODZILLA VERSUS THE STAY-PUFF MARSHMALLOW GUY
GODZILLA VERSUS GRIMLOCK
GODZILLA VERSUS THE JABBA THE HUTT RANCOR MONSTER
GODZILLA VERSUS THE SNOW MONSTER IN EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
BEER LABEL ART
10-28-19 BATTLE FLOWER BLUEBERRY WHEAT ALE
When I saw this label I immediately thought about the board game, Battleship.
Everyone when they were kids had to have played Battleship. Sometimes on a cold winter night if you’re an and adult having a few belt,s it’s good to play a game of Battleship. If you live in the delta house, a great game is battle shots.
If you’re strapped for cash, you make the game out of pizza boxes. Get those plastic shot glasses and fill them up with ripple.
This is our second beer label art we did from Greenbush Brewing company. First one was the Underwater Space Gator. I love the battleship on the label. Shooting out flowers, well some might think that is strange.
Well it was the Mayflower that the pilgrims came on. We just ignore the flowers for right now and look at cool battleships.
Lets not forget the last ship. The series that had the Nathan James.
The women of the Last Ship. Once you go battle ship you never go back to the carrier.
The flowers shooting out of the cannons prevents this label being on top of the chart. I feel like the flowers are some kind of magic from Harry Anderson on Night Court.
CAPTAIN CAVE MAN IS THE MAN ABOUT THE MAN CAVE DECOR
Our next finding comes from the state of Wisconsin. This discovery is not from the Captain himself, but from our investigative reporter of the blog. He is the jack of all trades when it comes to beer. He can park cars all day. Plays guitar for a band called Radio Collective. The one and only, Tom Jarema.
Tom ventured off to Madison, Wisconsin over the weekend for their annual beer fest. After a long afternoon of sampling a million Bells beers, Tom needed some food soakers. Where can you get beer brats and cheese curds in the state of Wisconsin? Like asking where is the local Irish pub in Ireland. He found his way to the Old Fashioned bar in Madison, Wisconsin. It is a retro style tavern known for what your father used to drink. Plus plenty of grease to sober up any musician and obviously get them drunk for the second time of the day.
TOM’S DISCOVERY IN THE OLD FASHIONED MAN CAVE
Lots of old antique beer signs throughout the joint. The best discovery Tom made is the Schlitz ceiling light. Looks like a version of a Schlitz chandelier. Schlitz, the beer that made Milwaukee famous.
That is quite a discovery on Tom’s weekend venture to the dairy state. Tom Jarema, our investigative reporter, has a keen eye for great old nostalgic beer art that hangs in bars across the states. We will hear from him again in our next segment of Captain Caveman, the man about the man cave decor.
MAN ABOUT THE MAN CAVE DECOR
It has been along time since Captain Man Cave has been in a bar near you. Captain Caveman has been very busy backpacking in Europe. He arrived back in the states and he was very hungry for a simple cheeseburger. He found himself at New Buffalo at a very popular burger place, called Redamak’s. It’s an institution and a main staple of New Buffalo, Michigan. Some will inform you it’s one of the best burgers in the states. We know the Captain did not find any decent cheeseburgers in Europe. After scarfing a few dozen burgers down, the Captain found some cool things hanging on the walls at this burger paradise.
When you first walk in, you see pictures of famous people hanging throughout their restaurant and bar.
Do you think Mike Dita and Shirley from Rob’s Diner on “What’s Happening” were banging each other? Shirley, you can’t be serious? Quit calling me Shirley. Out of the famous people on the walls these two characters jumped out and definitely are cool to have on the walls in your bar or man cave.
Whatever happened to the beer Rolling Rock? You hardly ever see it around. On the east coast, Rolling Rock is still hanging on for their dear life as it’s not even brewed in Latrobe, Pennsylvania. Someone else owns Rolling Rock, like most beers these days.
It’s a very cool Rolling Rock beer sign they have hung up on the walls of Redamak’s. It’s a mirror sign that shows you the old factory in Latrobe painted on.
The final item the Captain discovered was a stadium seat from the Old Chicago stadium.
The history this seat saw in the old Chicago stadium is endless. From all those old Blackhawk teams that played old time hockey. Those very early Michael Jordan teams when he first came into the league. He had some big games. He had some legendary dunks as well, like the burgers at Redamaks. The National Anthem being sung at the old stadium at Blackhawks games comes to my mind. The placed rocking in the 90s with Desert Storm going down overseas, was the ultimate compliment for a country being united and a salute to the troops.
BEER LABEL ART
3-3-19 SAWDUST CITY DAYS
This next beer label art is from way back in the days of steel cans. We can say this is old school beer can art. This Sawdust City Days can is from 1979. This beer is brewed by Walter Brewing Company in Eau Claire Wisconsin. The brewery is not in business any more. The Walter beer recipes are still out there being made by other breweries. All the beer equipment inside the brewery has probably been sold for scrap metal. So many of these small breweries don’t have the nine lives to stick around. Most of them get purchased by the big companies so they can continue to monopolize the beer market.
Sawdust City Days was probably a small logging town in Wisconsin. As it shows you a lumber jack swinging the axe cutting down trees old school way.
THE BACK OF THE CAN SAYS:
Eau Claire, the Sawdust city, through which floated most of the lumber in northern Wisconsin. Was the city where the buzz of the saw mills was the music in the ears of its inhabitants for over fifty years.
I believe this can is dedicated to the hard work of the lumber jack. Many logging towns probably loved to indulge in a few dozen beers after work, having been swinging an axe for ten hours. Wearing flannel shirts with ear flap hats. Guys with beards with last week’s soup tangled in their webbed beard hairs. Plus lumber jacks have the coolest equipment.
This label tells me to let the games begin. Who would not want to see the Lumber Jack Olympics in full action enjoying a few dozens cans of an ice cold lager?
LUMBER JACK OLYMPICS
All LUMBER JACKED out, some of these towns have local baseball teams.
My clean up hitter in the Timber Jack’s line up.
He can crack some heads with runners on base.
This can reminds me of all those cool Paul Bunyan statues you see on the roads of America.
I think piled high flap jacks when I see one of these guys high in the sky. I would want the one with the big keg of beer in his arm, at my house. Neighbors would love me.
The best thrasher movie involves a guy and a chainsaw.
Coming in at number two, a close number two. It has to be the wood chipper in Fargo.
Bloody mess. Bloody not likely in small logging towns. Anything can happen in Fargo.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS LUMBER JACK ?
NOT ENOUGH BEERS IN THE COOLER TO FIX THIS GUY’S PROBLEM
FINALLY, FLANNEL, IS IT SEXY ?
Look at the axe on her.
BEER LABEL ART
1-24-19 BARLEY FIFE
Round Barn Brewery is going Mayberry on their English Dry stout called Barley Fife. Has the old squad car in the middle of the barley field on the label. Definitely a tribute to Barney Fife from the Andy Griffith show. Don Knotts played a deputy in the Andy Griffith show that lacked intelligence, but made up for it with good intentions. The best ever whistling song, they used to open up the show with. Mayberry was a small town where everyone knew everyone. It was a town the Sheriff, Andy Griffith, walked around without carrying a gun. He had Barney who was a wizard with the six shooter he had with like two bullets. It would be great to live in a town like that where you leave your doors and windows unlocked and not fear people that make bad decisions. The drunk in Mayberry had a bed at the jail to sleep it off. Drinking a few dark Barley Fifes, you will need a second bed close by to the pubs.
With this label I figured if I was running a very small town like Mayberry, who would I want working the Police station? I took characters that had played police officers in TV shows. Shows where they were sheriffs in small rural towns. Mostly down south. The Barney Fife label inspired me to come up with the most interesting rag tag bunch ever to protect my small town from you. Most of these guys you could probably bamboozle and get out of most tickets. They might also arrest you for the wrong reason. That’s OK. What would be the worst crime they will take you in for, littering?
NAME OF THIS TOWN: SPARTA BERRY IN HAZZARD COUNTY
I used Hazzard county because of the show the Dukes of Hazzard. We take the Berry from Andy Griffith’s town since we are discussing the Barley Fife label. Sparta is the town set in the show In the Heat of the Night.
MAYOR: BOSS HOGG
I want a big fat guy. Plus a big fat guy that smokes a cigar. Plus he owns the best BBQ joint in town. Where I grew up, the town had a big fat guy as Mayor.
CHIEF OF POLICE: BILL GILLESPIE
You have to go with Archie Bunker, a guy that gets along with all people. Does not even matter the color of their skin. Plus, he’s a straight shooter. He calls you whatever color you are in the box of crayons.
DEPUTY CHIEF: CARL KANISKY
Carl and Bill could be brothers. Different mothers. Another straight shooter. Not too smart, but my town does not need his intelligence. Plus he hangs out with a big black women named Nell Harper who is bad to the bone.
THE DA: ANDY GRIFFITH
I know Andy is a cop. Need a prosecutor. Have you seen Matlock?
THE SHERIFF: Suzanne Somers
All’s I have to say is Thigh master. Need someone on the force that does not feast on donuts.
MY DETECTIVES: VIRGIL TIBBS & BUBBA SKINNER
The bad ass line says it all, In the Heat of the night.
“They call me Mister Tibbs”
The name is Bubba. My imaginary town is out in the South. Bubba is a perfect moonshining name for a hillbilly country boy.
HEAD OF UNIFORMS: ED PECK
If you challenge the Fonz, you’re not going to win. Even though he was a moron, he still had the balls to challenge the Fonz on Happy Days.
ED PECK SQUAD CAR
I have two patrolmen for each car.
SQUAD CAR TWO
PATROLMAN OFFICER SIMPSON
Who is a smarter cop between Officer Simpson or Barney Fife?
ANSWER: PASS ME A BARLEY FIFE
PATROLMAN OFFICER: ROSCOE P COLTRANE & DOG FLASH
Every town needs a K-nine team.
SQUAD CAR NUMBER THREE
PATROLMAN OFFICER ENOS STRATE
When you have a Bubba, then you need a Roscoe, and then as the icing on the cake, you need a Enos.
PATROLMAN OFFICER BARNEY FIFE
Barney is our best cop on the force. He has a beer name after him. Plus he is a gunslinger. High noon I want him drawing against any little rascal they bring to the table.
Every country town has to have a Daisy walking in the field. Brightening up the place the way flowers do.
BEER LABEL ART
11-9-18 RASPBERRY TRUFFLE ABDUCTION
Raspberry Truffle Abduction is a beer brewed by Pipe Works Brewing. I have noticed Pipe Works has many interesting labels. Pipe Works is another brewery in the Windy City. This is the second beer label art in a row from a brewery in Chicago.
This label has two aliens cutting open your typical type of guy in my book, that would be abducted by aliens. The beer is called Raspberry Truffle and as you can see a raspberry pops out of his body instead of the heart that most humans have. The main doctor alien must be under some pressure to cut open a guy that is alive and fully alert of what is going down. The alien doctor is perspiring. Could be the lighting in the operating room as well. Because the nurse alien who is assisting is giving the Dr. Alien a sponge bath.
I compiled up some of the best aliens that can perform an operation on you. Perhaps we can say what Aliens scare the crap out of you if you were to see them with a knife and about to cut you open. What alien girl would be poking and prodding you?
ALIENS THAT ARE ONE BAD ASS MOTHER FUCKERS
Alien from Aliens the movie.
No wonder they made Aliens versus Predators. It’s like a heavy weight fight between the two fiercest aliens in the galaxy.
ALIENS THAT YOU WAKE UP AND JUST LAUGH AT THEM AND BE ON YOUR WAY
ALF
Alf could make you laugh at least. He loves the pussy cat like most people do.
JAR JAR BINKS
This is one alien you who would just make you want to kill yourself. If my world was going to be taken over, it is not with his alien race.
These aliens are like the invasion of the brainy smurfs. Take a pin and pop those big eye balls. Sell their brains to the guy from Silence of the Lambs and make a little side hustle.
NOW THE BABES OF THE ALIENS
She in that tight red uniform she filled out very nicely.
This is very impressive but in the same way very bad. Think of the hamster breath she will have in the morning.
She would need lots of make up. That face would need to be constantly worked on.
I would be the male Lois. Call me Larry.
The new V has a knock out as their leader of the alien race.
Seleena in Men in black is a maneater who could rip out any guy’s raspberry. The ride might be exciting though.
When you go to a different city, the first thing you do is look an for Irish pub that is open late. If you traveled the galaxy, most likely the Irish alien gals are going to be the hottest. You might have to fight the Hulk for this one. This Rachel Nichols.
BEER LABEL ART
9-1-18 ARGUS LAGER LABEL
Argus Brewery might be one of the closest breweries to my house. It is in Chicago, in the old Pullman neighborhood. Never knew it existed until I felt some eyeballs looking at me and voila… Argus Lager was staring at me. This label is incredible with a monster with a thousand eyes going after humans about to club them down with a tree.
First thing that pops in my my mind is something out of the old toys and comic book, the Inhumanoids.
The first inhumanoid monster looks like some kind of dinosaur. It grabs humans and uses its ribs as a jail cell to hold on to them, maybe to feed off of later on.
You have to love the redwood tree monsters from Inhumanoids, as we see Argus using one of them to beat on humans.
You have to like the rock guys in the inhumanoids as well. Boulders coming alive. Who’s tougher, the granite guy from the Inhumanoids or Joe Rockhead from the Flintstones?
Could be heavy weight fighters or could be distant cousins.
All the eyeballs remind me of my favorite eyeball character from Snake Mountain, Triclops and his rotating eyeballs.
Looks like he wants to grab Evil Lynn’s chest protector.
Imagine if Sons of Anarchy had a character like Argus in season seven.
Jax would have had a field day if Argus crossed him.
MY LIST OF FAVORITE ARGUS MONSTERS
CHET FROM WEIRD SCIENCE
You have to love the gal they made in that movie who turned Chet into the monster.
E.T
MOM AND DAD SAVE THE WORLD
Why are these monsters so happy?
Kathy Ireland is a Goddess
THE BLOB
STAR WARS
I don’t know his name but this could easy be an Argus relative.
Then we have Jabba the Hutt from Star Wars
You know we have to show Leila with Jabba
Every boy named Ross fantasy.
THE PIZZA THE HUTT
You know Pizza the Hutt has to have a girl chained to him as well .
You know it’s the Dominos gal.
Argus Lager brewed by Argus brewing out of the old Pullman neighborhood in Chicago is now at the top of the charts in label art. What do your eyeballs think?
BEER LABEL ART
7-27-18 ARCTIC PANZER WOLF
Arctic Panzer Wolf is brewed by of course, Three Floyds brewery. This is the fourth Three Floyds beer label we have done in this section of the blog. The stuff that comes out of their heads at Three Floyds is like Steven King style coming out of his horror novels/zombie graphic novels. They lead the league in awesome and crazy labels so far in the beer art label section.
The first thing you notice on this label is the Viking warrior princess standing on pile of skulls. The thought process is she killed all those Vikings from the Capital One commercials and took their cards.
Now she could actually say, “What’s in her purse?” Probably the bag is made out of Tyrannosaurus Rex, like Alligator wallets and bags they make nowadays.
We can stay focused on the pile of skulls. However someone might need a bigger duffel bag to carry them around.
Futuristic Arctic Panzer Wolf warrior and her furry wolves.
In the Terminator, the machines are just crushing skulls as they walk through the battle field.
As we look at the Viking Arctic babe standing on top of the mountain of skulls, you could match her up with the gals from the Masters of the Universe He-Man.
You know Skeletor was all about Evil Lynn. However the Beast Man was probably getting down with the Lynn.
Then you have She-ra
She’s the angel on the other shoulder. A pure redhead. However you know HE-MAN was on the ‘roids. Quite could not get the power inside the Greyskull. SHE-RA had options. Ram Man and Man of Arms. She was very happy.
I will have to throw in the Baroness from Cobra.
She would easily be able to walk over a pile of skulls.
What about the Wolves? Women and dogs could be very disturbing. The way they kiss each other or share food with their pet. Everyone knows a girl that has done these things with her K-nine. Only one guy comes to mind that could put up with the Arctic Panzer and her wolvers.
Only Snake Eyes from GIJOE could deal with the Arctic Panzer girl and her hounds.
Most people like their Arctic babes without the axe and sword.
You know you were thinking the same thing.
CAPTAIN CAVEMAN’S MAN CAVE DECOR
Captain Caveman found himself walking the streets of New Orleans. Besides picking up some chicks, he did walk into a old dive called Buffa’s and there he hit the motherload of cool things on the wall.
Captain Caveman believes in safety so before he sat down, he read the instructions on the wall just in case of an emergency.
Then behind the bar he read the warning signs so he could know what he is getting himself into with the locals.
He loved the PBR CAN sign in the shape of Louisiana.
Then this sign of the Cubs and Cardinals loving each other.
Plus a bar with a horn and charging people who whine with a ghostbuster logo. Now this little hole in the wall bar has some pretty cool stuff scattered throughout.
Buffa’s in New Orleans is the first bar on our long tour of Captain Caveman’s man cave decor.
BREAKING NEWS
This section is all about the beer label art. We will continue to find the coolest beer labels and talk about them the way we have been doing. We will now broaden your horizons and find works of art in man caves, taverns, bars and saloons or whatever you call your get away place to indulge in a few pints. We will find cool beer signs as well. What cool things do you have on display at your man cave or watering hole you like to go to? Feel free to send in picture and we will put it on this site.Tell us where you found it. What city and state as well. Take a picture of the establishment as well. If they have a sign on display, take a picture of that as well.
CAPTAIN CAVEMAN’S MAN CAVE DECOR
I will start things off in this section. I found this guy who creates art masterpieces out of beer cans. This guy would be a sculptor in the art world.
I found this guy at a craft show and I had to buy a few pieces off him. I purchased a WW2 type plane he made out of Yuengling beer cans.
The next piece I purchased was a pirate ship. Bud light did all the NFL logos on their beer cans throughout the states. This guy turned the Buffalo Bills Bud light cans into a Buffalo Bills pirate ship.
These artifacts are in my basement bar I call, Sid’s Place.
I have some other cool stuff. In due time I will have some pictures of the bar I have done there with some other cool things. I will also seek out cool stuff at other people’s man caves as well as my Santa Claus naughty and nice endless list of favorite watering holes. Also hope to get some people sending in pictures as well.
BEER LABEL ART
4-15-18 CONEY ISLAND ALBINO PYTHON
Coney Island Albino Python is brewed by Shmaltz brewing company. This is not your family style type label showing a hot woman French kissing a snake. Coney Island, I first think of the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest in the summer.
Would Lard Ass the character in the movie Stand by Me do well in Coney Island at the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest? He did well in the pie eating contest.
Can you imagine him shooting out broken down bits of hot dogs up-chucking? It’s a bad scene.
This girl on the label reminds me of some kind circus freak.
I could see Cobra Commander getting his chrome face all foggy for this chick. Girls and snake kissing… what about dogs and girls kissing? Knew a girl that she did not mind the dog licking her fork as she would use it after the dog licked like it was no problem. Dog licking it’s junk all day, than turn around and licks the girl you’re about to kiss. Snakes are creepy, especially their tongues, so you have to throw those girls under the bus as well.
Would you bring any of these gals home to your mother? I’d be afraid of these women. Do they want the snake in bed like the women and their dogs? Can you imagine sleeping and something slithering around you? It would freak the crap out of me. Then if you get in an argument with one of these reptile women, will you feel the reptile constricting your neck?
Then on top of the bottle, Shmaltz Brewery has some kind of Joker looking character grinning like a wild man.
I can see these types of women hanging out with the Joker. He and the Cobra Commander fighting over these reptile loving girls.
FAVORITE SNAKE MOVIES
SNAKES ON A PLANE
You wonder if Samuel Jackson made an wallet out of one of those reptiles and then used the same wallet in Pulp Fiction.
At Snake Mountain you know Evil Lynn was all about the Trap Jaw over Skeletor.
TRAP JAW HAD ALL THE SPARE PARTS TO SATISFY AN EVIL LYNN
Don’t you dare think drilldo.
BEER LABEL ART
2-20-18 ANDHIM’S DRAGON BREW SUPER KOLSCH STYLE ALE
Dragon’s brew by Pipe Works Brewing Company has a lot going on in this label. Pipe Works brewing is a company like Three Floyds and some of the others who really go crazy with their beer labels. First thing I notice, it looks to me like the Big Lebowski drinking a beer and holding onto the dragon tale like a ride in an amusement park.
Maybe the head of the dragon could be John Goodman in the Big Lebowski. THE DUDE SLAYING DRAGONS in bowling while drinking some hot stuff that creates a breath that’d melt the skin off somebody. While bowling and drinking multiple beers and eating a couple of those hot dogs rotating in a glass case could stir up some dragon breath. This label reminds me of a friend from way back in time. It was not him, it was a gal he dated for awhile. She had the dragon breath. Maybe she was drinking swamp juice who knows but this label takes me back in time.
Since we are going down dragon road back in time, my question is… How did Mario even had a chance against the dragon that size? I don’t care how much fungus he ate no way in hell he should be able to beat up that dragon that is that size.
These are some cool dragons I have gathered up.
However give me the Dino Bots any day to kick some dragon scales.
HERE’S MY DRAGON WOMEN YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO TAKE HOME TO MOM. VERY FIRED UP BABES.
THE BEST DRAGON FOR YOUR HOME
SPOT FROM THE MUNSTERS
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BEER LABEL ART
1-10-18 BAH HUMBUG
Wychwood brewery brings you a Christmas cheer with their Christmas ale called Bah Humbug. I got this beer for Christmas and it has good ole Scrooge being chased down by three ghosts: Christmas Past, Present, and the Future. I was trying to figure out how to get the ole Scoogie Woogie some X-mas spirit without relying on Inky, Blinky, and the marvelous Clyde to do the dirty work. A good Christmas movie usually gets me in the spirit for the holidays. However I think the old Scrooge would frown on the classics like It’s a Wonderful life. Miracle on 34th Street he would buy up the block and demolish it in the New Year. The Muppet Christmas movies he would saute Kermit’s legs, while sticking an apple in Piggy’s mouth and having a pig roast with her. You can’t have him watch those X-mas horror movies where Santa’s got an axe and going around killing people. We don’t need Scrooge with ideas for people that owe him money to be slayed down around the holidays. What do you think happened to Tiny Tim’s leg? I have compiled up a list of Christmas movies that will portray a Scrooge type of character. Someone naughty, someone grumpy. But a list of movies that will get the old miser a deep down rooted laugh which he has lacked for years. Movies with some balls and tits. Movies with some action and helicopters and fights. Stay tuned for the list that will de-bah humbug anyone.
THE DE-BAH-HUMBUG LIST OF MOVIES (In No special order)
#1.TRADING PLACES: A drunken Santa. Eddie Murphy collecting money for the blind. Jamie Lee Curtis’ Christmas outfit !!! Holy Cow Batman. Betting on sending rich people to the poor house for a dollar is PRICELESS !!!!
#2. SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE CHRISTMAS: The Church Lady to Chevy Chase trimming the tree. Another drunken Santa. Don’t forget Hanukkah Harry saving Christmas. Plus Eddie Murphy selling dolls with an actual cabbage as a head and calling them Cabbage Patch Kid dolls.
#3.ROCKY IV Would you want to watch Lebron James and crappy NBA basketball? Do they ever call traveling calls on these guys? My God Man they run to the basket without dribbling. I’d rather watch Rocky versus the Russian which was fought on Christmas.
#4.GRUMPY OLD MEN Scrooge can see how he acts during this great comedy. The movie is set in Minnesota. Plus some of the movie is during the Holiday season during which Christmas drinks are had. Plus lots of ice holes. Don’t be a putz and miss this classic. You Moron!!!
#5. LETHAL WEAPON Might be the two best cop partners of all time. Hookers jumping out windows during the Holidays. Great lines like “All dressed up and nobody to blow.” Drug deals going down in a Christmas tree lot. Lots of shoot ’em up action will get anybody Jolly for the Holidays.
#6. SCROOGED We have to have at least one Scrooge movie on the list. I went with Scrooged. Who can play a better scrooge then Bill Murray?
#7. THE REF Now you have to forget about Kevin Spacey and his little boy fantasies. Concentrate on Denis Leary’s performance.This is one of the funniest X-mas dark comedies of all-time. Even dysfunctional families get along during the Holidays. Even though they needed to be held hostage to love each other. This film has a drunken Santa. Plus good ole fruit cake.
#8.DIE HARD “HO HO NOW I HAVE A MACHINE GUN”
Now that would make a very nice Christmas card to send out to all the people that need to know I have a Machine Gun. This is probably the best shoot em up action Christmas movie of all-time. It has the best lines in it as well. Terrorists take over a building while a company’s Christmas party is going on. No worries if you are late to the party, Bruce Willis will greet you by throwing Walmart greeters out a high rise window.
#9. DIE HARD 2 Well if you’ve already seen the first Die Hard why not dive into the second which is another action film based around Christmas. This time Bruce Willis is in an airport. Lots of great shoot em up action again. Great lines but not as many as the first one had. I even throw Denis Franz in this one if you binge watch them both in one night.
#10.CHRISTMAS STORY This one is perfect for Christmas day since it is on 24 hours a day on TNT. This could be one of the funniest movies of all time. You have guns that will shoot your eye out. You have soap in the mouth for swear words. How licking the Festivus pole is a gigantic no no. Bunny suits and leg lamps. Hugh Hefner would have actual bunnies lighting up his house. Eating at a Chinese restaurant I know that’s going to happen some day with my family.
#11. CHRISTMAS VACATION Another classic. Stringing lights all over your house. Cutting down your own tree. Having your family over for the Holidays. Cousin Eddie and a dog named Snots. Your aunt wrapping up a cat in the box. Grace is the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag during dinner. SWAT people come over while you read the Night Before Christmas. This one has another kidnapping. You know a Christmas without ransom demands is not Christmas.
#12.BAD SANTA This is not your typical family film. This movie has it all if you like off the wall humor. Drunken Santa that is a safe cracker. Whose side kick is a midget who is the elf. They play Santa and elf for the kids at the local malls. Then they steal the mall’s money from the safe. Bad Santa’s never shy about anything he says. This has a lot of raunchiness in it. Including the girl he has sex with that has a Santa fetish. If you like sandwiches, this is the movie for you. Also this movie had John Ritter and Bernie Mac, two great actors that have passed away, in small roles.
#13 REINDEER GAMES Is another action film. It brings the Christmas spirit with Santas robbing the Indian Casino. It has a pretty good cast of characters in this one. Including Denis Farina wasting Santas with a machine gun. Gary Sinese plays a bad guy in this. It’s a movie with lots of twists and turns. The casino turns into a blood bath of Santas but someone survives with all the loot.
That wraps up the de-bah humbug X-MAS movie list. Next year if you know anybody that is a scrooge around the Holidays, use this list of movies to get this cat some Xmas spirit. Some beer would not hurt either or spiked egg nog.
BEER LABEL ART OF THE WEEK
12-11-17 DEATH BY VIKING
Death by Viking is from Solemn Oath Brewery. The viking on the label looks to be killing everything in it’s path. Looks to be battling the weather conditions at the same time while it rampages through humans and animals. It could be a viking battling it’s way through a graveyard. You can see hands coming out of the ground trying to grab the viking as it pushes through with it’s shield and any second it will swing that ax and make a precision swipe to cut the hand off before the body rises up from the crypts.
It could be another chapter in the Mortal Kombat saga. Jason from Friday the 13th meets the red eyed viking. Who would win?
Just in time for Christmas.The red eyed viking is approached by Santa Claus on a foggy Christmas night. Santa asks him with those red eyes will you help me kill the Easter Bunny?
What about being Santa’s muscle? To take down Kevin Spacey in Fred Clause, for trying to shut down the North pole and Santa’s work shop. For Kevin Spacey if the movie was about to come out, they’d just recast his parts as he is in a little pickle these days.
This label is well designed. The Viking is bad ass looking. Reminds me of the show on the History Channel, Vikings.
Always loved the Viking ships.
You’re cruising down the water ways in one of those dragon boats, and people are going to look. People are going to be scared. Imagine pirates and vikings squaring off. That would be a big time battle. Seeing Long John Silver put his hook into one of the Red Viking’s eyes. Then see the Dragon cut off the pirate’s peg leg. Do you think the Vikings are similar to the outlaw bikers, just in different time periods?
Who wins in an all out rumble between the biker gang and a gang of vikings?
What about Viking Bitches? Do they have arm pit hair? That’s a very good question and you know you were thinking the same thing.
I dare you to “axe” them if they have arm pit hair and see where your head rolls to.
My favorite viking cartoon.
Plus vikings these days still are able to get jobs.
Exactly what’s in your wallet?
When it comes to drinking, a viking loves having some beers after a great battle.
BEER LABEL ART OF THE WEEK
11-19-17 NECRON 99
Another bad ass label from you guessed it, Three Floyds. This so far is the third label from Three Floyds brewing. Looks like a cool space robot with some kind of powerful weapon. Imagine he might be from a deadly space army of robots. This label made me think what robot army is the most dangerous of them all? What robot army could wipe out the rest of the robot armies? I came up with nine different robot armies. I will start from the weakest link and move up to the top of the charts to find the scariest robot army that puts the fear of God in you.
THE TOP NINE DEADLIEST ROBOT ARMIES
#9 THE GO BOTS
The GO BOTS were the first Transformers. They are the weakest link because they remind me of the cereal that used to come in white boxes and in bold black lettering saying something like puffs. I find the guy who came up with THE GO BOTS had something going, then the Transformers stole his thunder. The GO BOTS are the weakest link of robot armies.
#8.CLONES FROM STAR WARS
Imagine these clone robots droid army was the reason they brought in the Storm Troopers. These long legged skinny droid robots with their dog heads became scrap metal very quickly as Jed’s did cartwheels while slicing their heads off. Even JAR JAR Binks had his way with these droid robots.
#7. FEM BOTS
Oh these are the most beautiful robots on the list. Look they can shoot ammo out of their breasts. These Robots could manipulate any male they wanted and then point blank range blow the man’s bloody head off.
#6. BATZ
Cobra in GI JOE had a robot army they called BATZ. Cobra always had the cooler weapons and planes than the Joes. I actually had a BATZ figure of one of them back in the day. Only thing though, Cobra Commander has great ideas. However with the lack of common sense, he and Destro would not be able to get it done against the rest of the robot armies. He needs a better guy at the end of the bull pen to complete the mission.
#5. THE ORIGINAL CYLONS
These cylons were bad ass at one time. But they did not get the job done against the human race. They needed a new Cylon with a plan to eventually wipe out most of the human race. The new Cylon compared to the old model looks like it’s on steroids. Robot juiced oil.
#4. DECEPTICONS
I think the Decepticons are a bad ass squad. However with Megatron leading them, they will fall into the same patterns as the Cobra Commander and fall at the end of the war. They need to have the Mortal Kombat way and when they have their opponent on the ropes, they need to FINISH THEM instead of trying for the fatality first.
#3. AUTO BOTS.
All’s I need to say is Optimus Prime here. He is like the Tom Brady of these Robot Armies.
#2 THE NEW CYLONS
Bad ass Robots. They are built stronger. They can fire more bullets out of their guns than most of the armies. They have a plan. They have human form robots with multiple lives. They can blend in. Or you can hear them coming with their path of destruction with anything or anyone who dares to get in their way.
#1.THE TERMINATORS.
You need molten lava to stop these guys. They can take multiple bullets and still come at you. They can travel through time and destroy you. They can form into human form as well. They don’t stop until the mission is complete. Whatever they are made out of, they are the most deadly army out of all the robots in the universe. They also have multiple factories of these things being made as you read this.
I have not forgotten the best looking female robots
I have showed you the FEM BOTS from Austin Powers.
FROM THE TERMINATOR
FROM WEIRD SCIENCE
FROM BATTLE STAR GALACTICA
THE MIND OF A ROBERT CHINNICI
Have you always wanted to know how an artist comes up with stuff they come up with? If you look at this site of beer labels, we have women that look like devils in a business suit. We have a battle ax driving a tank. We have space stations giving the middle finger while skeletons play the banjo. Does their imagination reach different levels then most people? Could it be nightmares in their sub-conscience which they are bringing alive? It might just be a certain sleep aid to give you these out of the world visions. I do not know if Robert Chinnici has sugar plums dancing in his head. Unless it’s something coming alive under the closet door to eat those sugar plums.
Robert Chinnici and I are friends. We have worked together. We did a craft show at which he sold his art while I sold the hot sauce. His art is starting to take off. Known as Southside Bob in some of his circles, Bob is a very talented guy. Along with the crazy visions wanting to get out, he’s a man of all kinds of trades. When the paint brush is not painting demons ready to eat your face, he’s banging on the drums all day. He makes a living as a tech supervisor fixing and upgrading computer systems. If you kill someone, Bob could help you help clean the crime scene. He has watched Forensic Files over and over while he sips scotch in a dark room petting his little dog like Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget. Maybe he should be called Dark Side Bob, as he’s a man of all kinds of mystery.
It was probably about six weeks ago that I went to one of the great Robert Chinnici showings. Right here in Beverly, a Chicago neighborhood. It was an artist fair throughout the Beverly neighborhood. I was thinking I’d run into things like Nick from Family Ties and his work of making junk into art. I was right.
I was thinking I would have to walk around with wine and eat cheese. I was wrong on that as they did have a cooler of delights. Craft beer!!! I don’t know if it was for everyone, however I had to indulge. Southside Bob’s collection was incredible. The man left you with questions in your head about what is going down in some of his collection of paintings.
He had a common theme going in all of them. His stuff reminds me of graphic novels. Walking Dead style as things come to life on the canvas in a dark dark world. This showing helped Robert Chinnici land another showing in another gallery in Michigan. It’s well deserved as he is an up and coming artist on the verge of stardom.
If you want to see some of his art on his website. I have a copy of one of his originals, the bird man.
I walked around the art gallery looking at all the different works. I was very impressed. These people put their heart and soul into every painting they do. I did take a few art classes in my time, but I could never get past the stick people.
You look at all the various beer label art that is getting much more popular and crazier as cans and bottles come to life. I think Robert Chinnici and all the artists at the gallery could design multiple labels that could sell many beers by the label without even tasting the suds.
Here’s a few pictures of Bob and his wife at the gallery that day.
Only a Robert Chinnici or a leprechaun can get away with the green pants. Notre Dame book store?
BEER LABEL ART OF THE WEEK
This next label shows you the woman never to take home to meet your mother.Sure you can see her horns that she is the devil. You know that the horns and face turn after the encounter. It’s a woman that would make you walk on hot coals just to take a sniff of her exotic perfume. She put you in a spell as you lose your mind and give the cow away for some beans. This is the woman who would take your soul. You would probably give your soul to her for the one night of lust. We are a bunch of sick puppies. However everyone has dealt with a gal that was crazy, but at the same time a devil of good time.
10-19-17 ELECTOR IMPERIAL RED ALE
BREWED BY THE NEW ALBANIAN BREWING COMPANY
She’s all dressed for business. She already looks sexy. Then when she has her way with you she takes it to a level that most guys dream about. Most guys a woman like this is out of your league. However some get to the point and find themselves baffled. As if all good senses are thrown out the window. Something comes out of her business suit like Haley’s comet. You have seen the promise land before. However this is totally different animal. You lose control as you see something out of this world that can not be explained.
Then when it’s over they turn into the devil and leave you hanging wanting more.
Strong beer and a devil woman can lead to a bad situation for you. The beginning of the encounter will probably blow your mind away. Maybe they should have a warning written on their bra. Like cigarettes, a surgeon general warning. This woman will chew you up and spit you out at the end of this crazy ride. Enjoy but you will face pain at the same time. Like anyone has time to read the warning. How many people actually read the directions Be like Mike JUST DO IT..
BEER LABEL ART OF THE WEEK
This next label reminds me of the old movie, Creature from the Black Lagoon. If I remember correctly it was the very first 3d movie on television. It was hyped up as the local White Hen Pantries were handing out 3D glasses for you to wear as the movie was approaching. It turned out to be like Al Capone’s vault as all that hype and nothing was inside. All that hype and the creature did not come into my living room.
UNDERWATER SPACE GATOR BREWED BY GREEN BUSH SUBMITTED 8-19-17
Leave it to Green Bush brewery to consult SVENGOOLIE ON LABEL DESIGN
This bottle takes me back in time to when I was little lad watching movies that Svengoolie hosted on late Saturday nights. Who didn’t watch Svengoohlie and his rubber chicken? He would have movies like Swamp thing.
My question is why are there women hanging out at the swamps? Or even the lagoon. Both these creatures like the half naked type of bimbo as they take them back to their lair and have dinner with them. Can’t fault them for that as they have needs and urges. Whats for dinner though?
Would Al and his family come over to help the Creature and his babe finish the On Cor dinners?
Peanut butter and sardine sandwiches are probably more like it. Probably watch the Honeymooners on late night television on a small black and white TV with the rabbit ears. Can you imagine if the Swamp thing and the Creature from the Black Lagoon were around now a days. Would they change their Facebook status to not single anymore after they snag the next half naked gal that is walking in the swamp or lagoon late at night, without a worry in the world?
BEER LABEL ART OF THE WEEK
THE BROWN NOTE BREWED BY AGAINST THE GRAIN SUBMITTED 7-21-17
Everyone has a friend that loves to talk about their poo poos. I’ve known probably a half dozen people that talk about their art of the poo poo. This label reminds me of every one of those guys and their adventures in taking a crap. Everyone has a story about taking a dump which could be good, bad or very ugly.
One guy told me at work he went to a port a potty because he had to go bad. He was in the middle of the work day and the pressure was on as he was going to go kaboom at any moment. He found a port a potty at a park and did his business then to find out he had no toilet paper. He only had one move so he took his work shirt off, ripped off his under shirt and did his own version of a MacGyver move. The stench was devastating so he had to make a move.
Then the one friend that actually did have to take a crap that was oozing out of him as it was a race for your life Charlie Brown.
He was speeding along to get to the house when the the police sirens flashed in back of us as we were pulled over. Like on TV or in the movies the friend of mind was blunt and said to cop, “I was speeding but I needed to get to house to go number two.” As he clenched his cheeks the officer probably smelled an eruption of the brown lava about to erupt. No ticket as both the friend and the officer drove out of there like a bat out of hell.
However this label reminds me of the great Ted Maras. The Greek that resembles John Belushi. This cat is related to me and he loves to take pictures of his number twos. You look at your phone and see a picture of his business in toilet. You drop the phone immediately as the vision of this remains in your head. Look at this one he would say. He would say it looks like the Greek God Zeus. Yes he claims his poops look like Greek Gods. Just like people who think their veggies look like Elvis. In his mind this makes him a Greek God. Shit a Zeus, you want to be the shit. Besides taking pictures of his number twos Ted likes long walks on the beaches as the sand is his ass tray from the many smokes he has. He even might walk the beach nude as if he is a Greek God.. His speedo sends all the people fleeing to the water as they are hopeful a shark will come by and eat them to avoid the horror for life. But yes, Ted would love his picture on the can of poo poo.
BEER LABEL ART OF THE WEEK
BLACK & BLUE GRASS BREWED BY ALBANIAN BREWING COMPANY SUBMITTED 6-19-17
This label reminds me of stuff Steven King thinks about or even dreams about. The Grateful Dead playing for eternity. It looks like something that would pop up in a haunted house. It could be the guy from Tales of Crypt and his side kicks Red River Unger and the Saddle sores. Would they be singing happy and peppy bursting with love?
Would the label band be the new band in a darker Chuckie Cheeses where violence runs the joint? Maybe they play at the Oak Lawn location.
WOULD THE CHURCH LADY LIKE THIS BAND ?
There she goes again talking about my work again.
The label of this band reminds of all the dingy holed dark taverns where I have had a few beers. Seeing all the weird people in the dim lighting. Hearing their stories that give you the jeeper creepers as they tell their sad life story. You can’t escape as now you’re surrounded by another person with an even worse story than the other guy. Maybe they would lighten up the place like at Jabba the Hut’s place.
However you feel a lot better about your life after a night out at the roxbury
BEER LABEL ART OF THE WEEK
Most guys fantasies back in the day involved Princess Leia In Star Wars Return of the Jedi.
I will not argue – with the Princess chained up in a golden bikini there is a lot of excitement. Everyone has different thoughts. Because everyone has different fantasies.
George Costanza had his vision of a girl.
“I mean really tall. Like a giant six five”.
DRAGON LADY DOPPELBOCK BREWED BY RINKUSKAL BIRZAI LITHUANIA(submitted 6-2-17)
The dragon lady with the sword on the label gives me the thought of amazon gals. Girls who are warriors and fight off dragons wearing steel bikini plating and can swing a sword.
Who did not like Zena Princess warrior? After a hard day fighting off vikings she can come home and feed you grapes. Even maybe fan you as you are stretched out in a hammock sipping on a umbrella drink of some kind.
WHAT ABOUT THE NEW WONDER WOMAN?
She can probably do lots of cool things with her lasso.
However these women if you piss them off the can bobbitt your ass in a heartbeat with one swing of the sword. One swing of the sword and off with your head. Hopefully it’s the one on your shoulders.
I gave a bottle of the Dragon lady to my brother and asked him if he tried the beer actually. He said no. He probably has the bottle of dragon lady nestled under his pillow as he drifts deep off into the amazonland of all woman looking like the dragon lady.
The fantasy being the only man left alive in a world of amazon woman. All those types of women wanting you and only you. The catfights that you could watch. The body probably could not take it but you die with a large smile on your face. Maybe you can be like one of the droids in Ewokland.
Instead of the snuggle bears carrying you. The amazon women would carry you around in this fantasy island. Don’t Judge the beer inside the bottle it’s all about the label on the front when it comes to the Dragon Lady.
BEER LABEL ART OF THE WEEK
Above is one of the most sacred cards a person can have in their wallet. It’s a card that gives you one of the toughest challenges in your life. People usually conquer their sub sandwich punch card. When you get that delicious free sub you enjoy the taste of it. All of the hard work you put in to it. How you kept the card in mint shape . It was stored and protected in your wallet under laminated plastic . All the times you had to get to that sub place to get them to punch a hole in the card so you could see the progress you have made.Waiting in long lines dealing with stupid people. After you eat the sub you get a new card to start over. It’s like playing a game of Chutes and ladders.
However the card above leads to more than just another card. Free tee-shirt!!!. Plus your name on the wall. This is the Chucks 120 beer club card. Your name is on their hall of fame wall in the VooDoo lounge. You need 120 punches that involves a 120 different beers. I’m coming down to the end I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. The only problem I have to complete this journey and to get my name up on the wall is I have to go through some tough beers. Beers I have left that are unknown to myself. Beers that are in 22 oz bomber bottles. Beers with high alcohol percentage.
Two weeks ago the Devil came for a visit at Chucks as they set this bottle in front of me.
RUINATION DOUBLE IPA FROM STONE BREWING(SUBMITTED MAY 19,2017)
The devil was looking for a soul. He bet me a fiddle of gold I could not drink that whole bottle of beer. I told the devil you got a bet that you’re going to regret. I drank that beer down and the devil knew he was beat so he laid the fiddle of gold at my feet. Only one punch happened that day as I did beat the devil but 8.5 percent and it was nappy time on that Sunday fun day. I will have to take it one at atime and knock out one here and one there because more than one bomber in a sitting would give the devil his due. Meanwhile The Stone brewery made that label cool and scary with that devil ready to pounce at you like a pit bull on box of kittens.
BEER LABEL ART OF THE WEEK
DEESKO! BERLINER STYLE WEISSE BEER (SUBMITTED MAY 2,2017)
This will be the second label art submitted by Three Floyds. It will not be the last as they have many interesting labels. This one is my favorite so far and now we have a new King of the art label hill. You have a German Nazi woman in a tank creating havoc on the battlefield. Flames behind her probably running over men. Have you seen this look when your women’s friend comes over once a month to harass you?
The label reminds of two things. The first thing is the tough chick from the Police Academy movie.You’re terrified of her but you would let her have her way with you like you would have a choice.
If the woman was older she would remind me of an old teacher from grammar school. She was a great teacher, but she was tough as nails. She would unleash on you on any given day. You think the close talker on Seinfeld was in your grill. She would be face to face like a manager arguing with an umpire. I remember this one classmate wiping the spittle from his face and his legs would not stop trembling. I went to a Catholic grammar school. But I truly believe they don’t make teachers like that anymore. These kids now, probably their worst day is to take a time out in the cozy corner. Where they can watch TV and not think about the bad thing they have done.
BEER LABEL ART OF THE WEEK
REAPER VS UNICORN (RYE BARLEYWINE STYLE ALE (SUBMITTED APRIL 10,2017)
PIPE WORKS BREWING
This label reminds me of a great story that happened when I was younger. We were all 18 0r 19 years old and our group was invited to graduation party. My friend Mr. Blew was big into the Grateful dead and wore a lot of intriguing shirts of reapers and skeletons. We thought we were all going to a regular weekend party so nobody gave it a thought how we looked and the way we were dressed. We walk into the party and the girl that the party is for, has all her family there. From a variety of different ages. People are looking at Mr. Blew’s tee shirt that has a reaper biting on a nipple of a girl dressed all slutty with her boobs popping out. Mr.Blew ended up turning the shirt inside out. Then someone managed to find him another appropriate shirt to wear. But the stories these seniors probably had as they looked worried about the gal they came to celebrate with on a life achievement. They had to think wonder what kind of element is she hanging out with?
BEER LABEL ART OF THE WEEK
HOPTIMUS (IMPERIAL INDIA PALE ALE) 3-7-17
The New Albanian Brewing Company
I love this label because it looks like a robotic Donkey Kong. With the name Hoptimus, it reminds me of Optimus Prime from the Transformers. I like all the gears on the label as well. This is my new number one for best art on a label.
BEER LABEL ART OF THE WEEK
SPACE STATION MIDDLE FINGER (2-26-17)
3 FLOYDS BREWING CORP
3 Floyds will probably get a lot of their beers in as best label of the week. Three Floyds beers will also have a lot of their beers appear on the BEER LIST of top beers to indulge in. Having a Space station giving the middle finger in the label is brilliant in my book.
The Wild shamrock 