It is round two of the NFL playoffs and eight teams remain. The Divisional round, the games get better as now the teams get better with all the first round byes set to play their first games. Plus you got teams like the Eagles and Colts that started playing playoff games way before it actually started, just to get in the tournament. Usually the biggest reason teams advanced to the Superbowl is the quarterback play. Tha’ts how they usually get to the playoffs in the first place. Out of the remaining teams, who has the best quarterback and who has the worst? I won’t throw stats down your throat until you puke. We are judging these gunslingers just by our own eyeballs on what they did in regular season or last week. Not going by their past history of how many trophies and stripes they won or have not won. We will go worst to first since that is a common theme in today’s NFL.

NUMBER EIGHT: DAK PRESCOTT       I think the Cowboys arrived where they are from good defense and good running game. Dak Prescott made some nice throws last week versus Seattle. He needs that running game to set up his passing game. Dak for most of the year has regressed. To my eyes he has not carried the team on his own shoulder very much. If Cowboys are down by a score late, he is the one quarterback I see that would have trouble leading his team down-field in crunch time.

NUMBER SEVEN: JARED GOFF     Jared is a very good young quarterback in my eyes. He has been climbing the steady improvement charts every year. This season has been a roller coaster of a season. Came out the doors firing and chucking the ball all over the field as the Rams put up some big points. If you get steady pressure in his face like the Bears did, he has problems. He went through a stretch of this season where he looked like a rookie quarterback. Then at the end of the season during the last two weeks, he seemed to be sharp again. To me he could be too unpredictable, especially with another playoff game on the horizon. Could the pressure on and off the field take him out of his game?

NUMBER SIX: NICK FOLES      St. Nick has taken over once again and has delivered another miracle. I don’t know what it is… if this guy needs most of the season off then inserted in he turns into instant magic. He started a few games earlier in the season but did not look like he does at the end of regular season and beyond. Maybe they should shorten the regular season to eight games. Nick Foles is perfect for Philadelphia. He is like the Rocky of football. It’s more determination and heart than any of his football tools. Very impressive late drive versus the Bears last week.

NUMBER FIVE: TOM BRADY  At times Mr. Fantastic has looked like a shell of his former self. Looked like Peyton Manning on his last legs. Then all of a sudden he will go back to his old self and look like a young Darth Vader with a pep in his step. Patriots still captured their division. They even captured the number two seed. In Tom Brady’s case, looks may be deceiving. Things are getting done in a timely fashion as usual, but it may not look as clean and crisp and very easy like it used to. If I do the quarterback rankings, next week could be saying just like the old Tom Brady as we see him pass for about 400 yards and 4 touchdowns.  Right now he is like a box of chocolates, you do not know what you will get. I would put money on the dark side because this is his animal, round two playoffs at home.

NUMBER FOUR: PHILLIP RIVERS     The ability to lead a team on the road and come away with all those victories away from LA is very impressive. At home playing in a soccer field is home but may not seem like home. Especially when the opponent out numbers your fans at home.   Rivers is an old wily veteran showing true grit this season as his numbers have been very good. He has the best team he has ever had making it to the playoffs. I’ve seen less mistakes in crunch time this year. He always has been a gunslinger. Always prone to those last minute last quarter drives and throw that Jay Cutler type of interception to cost the team dearly. This year he’s making the right throws. Winning on the road. This could be a deadly combo for opponents in the playoffs, especially since the Chargers have a better record than most teams in the conference and are a wild card.

NUMBER THREE: ANDREW LUCK  He was hurt last season. This year coming back he has knocked off the rust very quickly. He has been rock solid all year and delivered some big games especially down the stretch. The comeback win versus the Giants was very impressive, down ten points in the fourth quarter. He is like Nick Foles of late as he is red hot with way better numbers. Luck is prone for a boneheaded mistake at times. He seems like he can overcome them, which you want as a quarterback.

NUMBER TWO: DREW BREES       Brees could easily be slotted as the number one quarterback out of these rankings. Another great season as now he put the team in that number one spot and they  have all their home games in the dome in New Orleans.  For a few weeks, the Saints had all kinds of injuries to some of their play-makers. Saints were still marching on as Drew was throwing touchdowns to people you never heard of. Guys that may have been working concessions and given a uniform at the last second to go in for whoever. Drew Brees can be down a few scores and can storm right back into the game and win. No lead is safe when your team is up against the Saints. His approach to the game plan is perfection. Drew can make all the throws on the field. Pressure does not rattle his cage as the ball comes out faster.

NUMBER 0NE: PATRICK MAHOMES    Everyone is still waiting for Mahomes to have a bad game. Maybe his bad game is like most of the NFL quarterbacks’ greatest  games. Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs put up video game numbers against the league this year. Mahomes has a rocket arm. He can make the throws and does not make many mistakes. Then you add his Houdini act to the equation where he can escape the pocket and throws on the run, keeping plays alive until he finds an open guy. If your team gets in any kind of shoot out with the Chiefs, the opponent has to be perfect because it is very hard to stop Mahomes running that offense like a well oiled machine with weapons of mass destruction. This kid definitely earned MVP of the league. No way former Chief Alex Smith could run that offense like Mahomes did on his best day. Mahomes’ worst day running the Chief offense trumps over Alex Smith’s best day by miles and miles.

 

What if the Bears would have prevailed in week one versus the Green Bay Packers? In a game they held a 20 point lead late. Then to watch Aaron Rodgers on a bum leg come back and win that one. Then they  bumbled and fumbled away the contest against the Miami Dolphins. A game where both teams played hot potato and did not want to win that game. Dolphins ended up with the potato and the win. Then last weekend the kick that hit the upright, then the cross bar, and then fell in the direction that ended your season. They say the kick was partially blocked. That was the play that ended your season. That was the play that also took away your defensive coordinator.

When agony and pain enter your life, time does not stop? For the Chicago Bears they were still in shock with their early playoff exit losing a tight one to the Philadelphia Eagles. Before they could address their wounds. Before they could really grasp the situation on what bombshell that just hit the Soldiers Field turf. They did not see the farmer carrying the shotgun.They did not notice they were like Old Yeller behind the shed in misery. It was too late as they saw the barrel of the shotgun fire, and poof like that, the Denver Broncos pounced on the carcass like vultures from the skies. They picked the Bears clean and took away their defensive coordinator, Vic Fangio.

Vic Fangio is the mad genius behind the Bears defense this season. It was the defense that carried the Chicago Bears this season. Matt Nagy was very impressive on the offensive side. However they went through growing pains especially with Mitch Trubisky in only his second year as a pro. You can say the defense was the main staple that made this season into something magical. People will say Khaili Mack can make any defense great. Vic Fangio had the Bears defense in the top ten last year without Mack. Then adding Mack and drafting Smith, they were sprinkles on the ice cream sundae. By far, Fangio has his defense number one in the NFL by a million light years from any other unit.

The Denver Broncos go old school with their hire. Instead of a quarterback guru. Instead of some youngster that knows just  x’s and o’s and goes by the numbers. Vic Fangio finally gets his chance as a head coach after being in the NFL for 30 years. A guy that bleeds football. Jim Harbaugh brought him back to the NFL when he got the job with the 49ers, as they both were doing great things at Standford. Vic Fangio’s defense was a big part of that 49er team getting back to the Superbowl versus the Ravens years ago. Since being back in the NFL, Vic Fangio’s defensive units have led the NFL in scoring 6 out of the 8 years.

Vic Fangio gets a 4 year deal with fifth year option. I like how John Elway has Gary Kubiak back in the fold as the Offensive Coordinator. Both coaches can have their own thing like how the Bears did it this year with Nagy controlling the offense and letting Fangio do his thing on defense. Gary Kubiak was the head coach that took Denver to their last Superbowl and won it. He stepped away for health reasons. Fangio will have some weapons of mass destruction to work with in Denver. The sack master Von Miller. They also have Bradley Chubb. It will not take Fangio  long to put a stop  to Mahomes and that Kansas City Juggernaut they have for an offense. Overall this is a great hire by John Elway.

As for the Bears, if they would have won those games as they should have, they would of never been apart of Wild card weekend. They would of had a first round bye. Sure they could of lost this weekend the same way they did last week. But what if they had the bye week and won this weekend? That would of been another week the Broncos would have to wait.If they won this week, that would of been two weeks the Broncos would have to wait to talk to Vic Fangio.  Would they have gotten nervous and hired one of their other choices?  Vic Fangio could of been with the Bears still.

You probably think anybody could be inserted in the Bears defense next year with all of that talent assembled. Remember the defensive coordinator calls the plays. Vic Fangio had this down to a science. Hopefully Bears get this right person that keeps this ship from sinking. Bears have went from worst to first, a common theme in the NFL. They can also go from first to worst. That’s the worst thing about the NFL these days. These magical seasons are very hard to duplicate over and over. Now it’s Ryan Pace’s turn to deliver a key chess move like Elway’s to keep this team from going down a road they do not want to go. To find a guy that can keep this Bears defense the best in the league.

Last Sunday the Bears gave up the lead late to St. Nick and the Eagles. With one minute left, the Bears offense came to life and stormed down the field. Mitch Trubisky got the team into field goal range with just seconds remaining on the clock, down by one stinking point.  The kicking team ran on the field. The Bears snapped the ball as whistles blew. Timeout called by the Eagles. Cody Parkey, the way kickers are taught, just kicked the ball anyways. Like a practice swing in golf, he halfheartedly kicked the ball and drilled it through the uprights perfectly. After the ice down of the kicker was over, play resumed. The Bears snapped the ball and the kick was off. Everyone stood up watching with hearts stopped. People clung to their bar stool ready to leap out of their skin to high five each other. This would be a Bears win. A playoff Bears win does not come around often. Doink off the upright. Then another doink off the cross bar. People gasping for air, jaws dropping. As the ball hits the ground in front of the goal post. The referees wave no good. As a hush falls over the stadium. People in disbelief. People thinking, “not again.” Rage fills the pit of the stomachs filled with beer and chili. While the Eagles looked stunned themselves. St.Nick Foles had pulled off another Christmas story that would poke the eyes out of the Chicago faithful.

Was this miss something so deep and dark that somehow you can not explain it? In a world with so much mystery. Where usually good tramples over evil. Where miracles happen and you might not be aware of them. Could Nick Foles be the savior in this situation? Could the Eagles be the miracle? Weeks ago, the Eagles looked like a team found dead on the road. Road kill exactly. They looked like Charlie Sheen suffering from the biggest hang over of all-time. Found waking up in Mexico with no clue how you got there. This seems like the same plot as last year when Nick Foles took over from an injury and took them to the Superbowl. They even slayed a team we know is pure evil, in the Patriots. The Evil Empire to be exact. Could the Eagles be the good team while the Bears are just a team in the way of this miracle we are seeing?

Perhaps this unexplained miss could be the works of former kicker, Robbie Gould. His name was probably mentioned a lot after that miss. His name has been screamed by fans for years now, as he is some kind of Greek God. Suddenly the Bears ex-kicker is sharing a Chicago style Mount Rushmore with the likes of Michael Jordan, Frank Thomas, Patrick Kane, and the late great Walter Payton.  Robbie stood out most of the time during the good, bad and mostly ugly years he was in a Bears uniform. He was on hand with his kids at Soldier’s Field witnessing an ending to one of the most exciting seasons in Chicago Bears history. At least most exciting in a very long time.

The crazy people which most fans are, will want to gather all the torches and pitch forks they can find. Find Cody Parky, drag him to the town square, and beat him to a bloody pulp. This is football damn it!!! Some have already sent death threats. The smarter people will follow the trail. Because when you lose one like the Bears did, you need a scapegoat. Who is the fall guy in this? Would it be Ryan Pace, the one that chased out Robbie Gould for his one bad year in a Bears uniform? Because if Robbie Gould was still in uniform, Bears would win this playoff game?

Did it even have to come down to the kicker in this one? Looks from my eyeballs that Cody Park scored 9 out of the 15 points that were on the score board for the Bears. You have to say the defense did not look good on that last Eagles drive. However they held the Eagles to only 16 points. What happened to the Bears offense in this game?  What happened to Jordan Howard? He hardly got any carries in this game. The back up running backs had some carries in this one. Was Coach Nagy out-coached by former co-worker Doug Peterson? I did not see any misdirection plays done by the Bears in this one. No interesting formations, some of Nagy’s cutesy plays were not seen. Suddenly Mitch Trubisky comes to life on the last drive chucking it down field to set up the kick. This was not your regular Bears offense that we had enjoyed, seen and hung to edges of seats excited to see what was coming next.

Since Ryan Pace has gotten rid of Robbie Gould, he had missed on many kickers. Connor Barth, Mike Nugent… sounds more like a rock band than guys that can kick the ball in between the goalposts. The Cairo Santos experiment blew up immediately. You can throw in Kevin White, a bust even though he is not a kicker.  But Ryan Pace has hit on everything else that has worked on the defense, including working out the deal to land Khaili Mack. He provided his young quarterback with many weapons in the off season. He even found a coach to mold his young quarterback into something special, only in his second year as a pro. Cody Parker, you thought he had fixed the kicking game. You could say Cody Parker was unfortunate to doink 4 kicks in one game against the Lions. In a game the Bears won. In the fourth quarter Cody Parky was 11-12 in field goals this season.

You could put all the blame on Cody Parker. Perhaps then we agree with the likes of Rex Ryan who thinks he was a great coach. Who took teams and ran them into the ground. Thought quarterbacks like the Butt Fumbler and Geno Smith would lead his teams to the promised land.  If the Bears could of held on and beat the Packers in week one, would their destiny come to an end with a miss kick? Sure you add the Dolphins game they blew and gave away, the Bears would of never been in the wild card weekend games.They would of had the first round bye. I believe Coach Matt Nagy was out coached by Eagles head coach Doug Peterson. This is the same Matt Nagy who coached and did the play calling last year for the Chiefs. The Chiefs were ahead at halftime by three scores over the Titans in the first round of the playoffs and faltered in the second half.

You can break it all down like shredding a brick of cheese of what went wrong and how the season ended.  You could say the missed kick was like Scott Norwood’s big miss wide right that cost the Buffalo Bills a Superbowl. Cody Parkey could suddenly turn into Ray Finkle and carry a grudge against Mitch Trubisky in years to come. I know Mitch was not the holder but work with me.  Maybe it was the goat that jinxed the Chicago Cubs all those years. Perhaps the goat is working on new streaks like how the Cubs seem to be crashing, after winning the World Series in 2016. The only explanation is it has to be the ghost of Robbie Gould. Can you have a ghost and be alive? Maybe he has jinxed the Bears, after all he was there when this kick took place. Plus the Bears have hit only 60 out 79 field goals since Robbie was cut. That is 19 field goals. During the same time, Robbie Gould has hit 82 out 85 field goals since he was cut. Would one of the three been that crucial miss versus the Eagles if he was still here? Could it be part of a plan by Robbie Gould to get his old job back? He should be heading to free agency once again. He can circle the wagons and come back to Chicago. He could make the kick that will send everyone in Chicago home a winner.  As long as we don’t give games away and not get out coached in our own building. Perhaps not go down that road to be forced to win the game with special teams.

 

 

SATURDAY GAMES JANUARY 5, 2019

ROUND ONE   ( WILD CARD WEEKEND)

GAME ONE

AFC MATCH-UP

AT

COLTS(10-6)  AT  TEXANS (11-5)

Both teams played each other twice in 2018 regular season. The series was split 1-1.

The Colts come in as the hotter team as they had to win games to be able to get in the playoffs. The Texans won nine straight games in regular season. The Colts snapped that long winning streak a few weeks back. Since then, the Texans have been sputtering along. The Texans had a very good chance to grab the number two seed in the AFC but they could not seal the deal.

During Regular season, the Texans broke a three game losing streak to start the season versus the Colts. Coach Frank Reich went for it on 4th down in overtime. The Colts did not even have the ball at mid field. The Texans stopped them and then ran a play, kicked a field goal, and won that affair.  The Colts gave that game to the Texans. If Colts punted, most likely that game would have ended in a tie because it was less than a minute left in overtime.

The Colts’ strength is their offensive line. The Texans’ strength is their defensive line. I give the Colts the advantage there. I think they can contain and give Luck the time he needs versus Watt and Clowney. I think Andrew Luck has the hotter hand over Deshaun Watson in the arms race. Overall I think the Colts match up very well with the Texans in everything down the line. The Texans have not beaten anybody special at home. Coach Bill O’Brien’s history in the playoffs does not intrigue me. He has beaten a Raider team minus Derrick Carr. The rest of his playoff games have resulted in losses. Frank Reich has his Colts red hot at the right time of the year. While the Texans have been playing 500 since they were red hot.

OUR WINNER: COLTS

GAME TWO

NFC MATCH UP

AT

SEAHAWKS (10-6)  AT  COWBOYS (10-6)

Both teams met once during regular season. Seahawks won that affair at home.

Seahawks are only 4-4 on the road. They have won games on the road against nobody special. Their strength is at home. The Cowboys’ strength is at home this year. Both teams have been up and down all year. Seahawks have been more consistent down the end of the road of the regular season. Seahawks beat a very good Chiefs team at home. Then they fall to the 49ers. The Cowboys would get their butts kicked in by the titans on Monday night. Then weeks later beat a very good Saints team on Thursday night. Both Jekyll and Hyde teams in which something will have to give when it’s all said and done.

Both these teams are pretty even. The Cowboys will Amari Cooper in this match up versus the Seahawks since the last time they have met. The Cowboys definitely have the better running back in Ezekiel Elliot. However Seattle has Russell Wilson. He is the biggest X-factor in this contest. Compared to Prescott Wilson who has all the stars and strips on his uniform as he “did this done that” before. Wilson decides this game. I hate Pete Carol. However he’s 6-0 in opening playoff games as a head coach. Pete is 4-0 in Wild Card games as the Seahawks coach. Jason Garrett is only 1-2 all-time in the playoffs. Plus to get rid of all the guys from the legion of boom defense and coach a young group on your defense. With good results. Seattle, with the quarterback and coaching edges making a  difference, and they win this one.  HATE BOTH OF THESE TEAMS.

OUR PICK: SEAHAWKS

SUNDAY GAMES JANUARY 6, 2019

ROUND 1  NFL PLAYOFFS (WILD CARD WEEKEND)

GAME THREE

AFC

AT

MATCH UP

CHARGERS (12-4) AT RAVENS (10-6)

Met once in regular seasons not too long ago. Ravens won that affair.

This is an old school team versus your typical modern age style of team. Ravens run the ball with a control offense with the quarterback doing plenty of options while they  have the ferocious attack defense. While the Chargers pass the ball and dabble runs in the mix. Their defense is pretty good, but mostly a zone type style.

Chargers should not be a number 5 seed as they are tied with the best record in the AFC. Ravens inserted Lamar Jackson and suddenly energized the whole team as they went on and took the division from the Steelers. I think the loss the Chargers suffered a few weeks ago will only help them, this go around. Seeing Lamar Jackson running that style of offense the first time and not defending it, many times I can see how the Ravens can prevail. The second go around Chargers should be prepared and be able to stop them. The Ravens defense is bad to the bone. They will keep this game very close. This is probably the best team Phillip Rivers ever had making it to the playoffs. Chargers have had no problems winning games on the road. I think Phillip Rivers shows enough grit, stands in the pocket and delivers a few key passes that ices this one in a very well fought game.

OUR PICK CHARGERS

GAME FOUR

NFC

AT

MATCH UP

EAGLES  (9-7) AT BEARS (12-4)

These two teams never met during regular season.

The Bears have been impressive all year. While the Eagles had a steady hungover until a switch was made at quarterback a few weeks back. The switch was due to an injury. That injury inserted Nick Foles into the position and St. Nick delivered a Christmas gift to the city of Philadelphia, which is a playoff appearance. They actually get to defend their title which weeks ago you would have said hell no to. Meanwhile the Bears have been winning with one best defenses in the league. The offense has been rolling along with lots of creativity in the play book. It’s a team that could have had a first round bye. A few losses they gave away during the season came back to haunt them. However they exorcised their demons and slayed the evil dragon in Aaron Rodgers and the hated Green Bay Packers.

I know the Eagles are the Super Bowl Champions still. Today that ends with a whimper at Soldier’s field. St.Nick runs out of magic as he crashes his sleigh into the turf of Soldier’s field to end an impressive run, but earn himself a big pay day in the off season by some other team. The Bears defense will shut down the Eagles. The offense will provide enough points not to make this a close game. It will not be a blow out, but Bears will win this one by ten points.

OUR PICK: BEARS

We have all the playoff teams ranked in our own power rankings. Of course the Wild Shamrock way is we are not going to hold back. These are 12 teams that are not having a conversation about making Rex Ryan the new coach in Miami. If that is what is available, I would thank God for what each of these twelve teams has as their leader. Pull up a bar stool and take a gander at what we’ve got going down. Could be the most crazy playoffs the league has ever seen. Anything can happen. Keep the shots flowing. Leaving the bottle on top of the ball would just make things easier.

#1. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS 13-3 (SEED #1 NFC)  You cannot write a better script than what the Saints have done. Home in the Dome. First round bye. Rest up nagging injuries. High powered offense. Defense has played rock solid. Superbowl is in a dome they are familiar with. Sean Peyton and Drew Brees will dissect a perfect plan for each opponent.

I think the one fluke play last year against the Vikings is not forgotten. I think the Saints will use that to help them prevail through their own conference. I thought they were the best team last year. I think they’ve gotten better.

#2. CHICAGO BEARS 12-4 (SEED #3 NFC) The Bears are a very scary team to play with that defense. A great defense can stop a great offense, 9 out of ten times in this sport. They have a very creative offense with lots of weapons. They have some receivers banged up as Trubisky was throwing  the likes of Josh Bellamy aka Rock Hands and number 1 bust, Kevin White. They will need their number one play-makers on the field because the playoffs are a different animal. I like Coach Nagy’s philosophy to not take the petal off the metal. Especially exterminating a division foe in the last week of the season. Hopefully Coach Nagy avoids being too cute in situations to avoid disasters with tricky gadget plays that could change the momentum of the game. I expect Bears to get deep in the playoffs. It is hard for a new rookie head coach to go all the way in his very first year. However it is the NFL. and  anything can happen. Plus again that defense scares the crap out of anyone. It is possible. The dream is real. My favorite picture I continue to show each week that describes this ferocious defense.

#3. LA RAMS 13-3 (SEED #3 NFC)  Rams needed a bye week to rest their star running back which they needed for the Gurley Man. This team hit rock bottom for a few weeks towards the end of regular season. A few games in their own division are what they needed to tune themselves up and get back on the right track. The NFC is very tough to get through a lot of great teams. The Rams playoff experience from last year will help them this year as they got their feet wet. The key will be the Rams defense. The playoffs are where Wade Phillips’ defense rises up and stops teams in their tracks. They have a lot big names. If Ndamukong “cheap shop artist” Suh and one of the best in the league, Aaron Donald, get the pressure on the quarterback ,Rams will be very tough to beat. They have corner backs that can make huge, plays especially if they force a lot of pressure. Bad throws can lead to a few pick sixes.

#4.LA CHARGERS 12-4 (SEED #5 AFC) Every AFC team seems to have holes of some kind. The Chiefs defense. Tom Brady looks very old. Running quarterbacks like Lamar Jackson get in any kind of a hole and they have a hard time making any kind of comeback throwing the football. Chargers should not be a number 5 seed. They are tied for the best record in the conference. Plus they have the most complete team in the conference. A defense and offense which seems unfair in the NFL world. It is time for Phillip Rivers. The gunslinger used to knock off great teams in the playoffs when he first started in the league. He would get the one big win and then lose the following week. Since he has not been to the playoffs in a few years, this is his best team. They are the best team in the conference. They are a team that can win on the road which they are forced to do anyways.

#5.KANSAS CITY CHIEFS 12-4 (SEED #1.AFC) Since Kareem Hunt was caught in a video from his past pushing the women this team has not been the same. Sure they still won some games. They put up points. After they cut the running back, it seems like they have had as crisp of an offense as they were most of the season. The key to the Chiefs is exercise the demons. Find a way to win a playoff game at home. This is a different Chief team with the change at quarterback. Plus they have a first round bye. However the past few years at home, their history may come back to haunt them at Arrowhead stadium as it might not be a very scary place to play for the opponent. The key to the Chiefs is the defense has to make more stops. I would feel a lot better with their chances if they even had a middle of the pack defense. Will Mahomes regress in the playoffs? Mahomes has been awesome the whole season. Will the playoffs be enough pressure to get inside his head and just have a bad day at the office? It seems things are aligned for that kind of game in the Chief land.

#6.NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS 11-5 (SEED # 2 AFC) I want to write the Patriots off. I know the playoffs don’t have any division foes for the Patriots to feast on. I think any of the teams in the AFC can beat the Patriots. However this is the playoffs and the Evil Empire is a snake you have to cut the head off of. Because any parts of the Patriot armor will grow back. Besides it’s all about the game plan that the man under the hooded sweat shirt will come up with.

Do you think if Billy Boy finds a peep hole he is looking at the cheerleaders? Hell no, it’s all about the other team’s game plan.

Patriots will find the opponent’s game plan because no mission is impossible for this band of cheats.

#7. BALTIMORE RAVENS 10-6 (SEED #4 AFC) Ravens have a great defense. The best in the AFC. This alone can win playoff games. It seems like the Ravens are blueprinting the team they beat in their last Superbowl, the 49ers. They had a great defense, then made the switch to quarterback and went with the kneeler, Colin Kaepernick. The Ravens turned to Lamar Jackson late into this season. As we know ,the 49ers went to the Superbowl and lost. It was a great run by Colin Kaepernick. His only great season. Running quarterbacks are one hit away of being knocked into tomorrow. If Ravens find themselves behind or tied in the last minute drive, it’s hard for these running quarterbacks to stay in the pocket and pass the football. The defense knows that and they key on that.

#8. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS 10-6 (SEED #5NFC) No legion of boom defense this season. Seattle is in the playoffs. You can give credit to the coaching. Who wants to stroke Pete Carol’s ego? Russell Wilson is the biggest reason the Seahawks are winning games. He will be the biggest factor related to them getting through and winning any playoff game. He has some help, a young defense has done some great things. The running game has opened up the passing game. Only major problem I see is the Seahawks are not at home. I can see them winning their first game in Dallas. What about after that? Seahawks win huge games at home and can play any style of game. On the road they laid clunkers. This team was supposed to be taken to the back of the shed to be shot  and put out of its misery before the season started. Perhaps they are on the rise again without all the crazies they once had on the defensive side of the ball.

#9.INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 10-6 (SEED #6. AFC) This is one of the hottest teams in the league right now. They are one of the scariest teams to play right now. Teams like this, that have played their last six or so games of regular season and are hot at the right time, are very dangerous especially in the first round. HOUSTON, you have a problem. First they played you twice already and beat you once and they gave you the first game way back in the beginning of the season. Andrew Luck, since coming back from injury, looks and plays the part well of one of the elite quarterbacks in the league. They just need to stop boneheaded mistakes this team is prone to make on any given Sunday.

#10.PHILADELPHIA EAGLES 9-7 (SEED#6 NFC) Another team coming in red hot. The plot has the same characters and the same scenario perhaps with a different twist. They call him St. Nick. He delivered a huge Christmas gift for the whole city of Philadelphia. He has led the Eagles to the playoffs. The Eagles were on life support. Some would say road kill. Once again Carson Wentz goes out with an injury and Nick Foles takes over. Last year when this happened, Eagles had already cemented their playoff berth. This year the looks of the situation did not look good. St.Nick did it. Eagles have awoken from the Superbowl hangover and now have a chance to defend their title instead of being some stat of a team winning and unable to make it to the playoffs the next season.

#11.HOUSTON TEXANS 11-5 (SEED #3 AFC)    Houston, to me, has ran out of gas. They are like that hot gal bent over under the hood working on the engine of their car. You start slowing down thinking you will lend a hand and then you see her face. You drive away quickly and scared. Texans seem to have seen their own ugly selves in the mirror. They had a chance to cement the number two seed but failed. This is a team which after the nine game winning streak, has been riding the struggle bus which might make them a victim of an early exit.

#12.DALLAS COWBOYS 10-6 (SEED #4 NFC) Fool me once, can’t fool me twice. This team played in the worst division in football. They won ten games. One week they look like they can beat anybody. Usually only at home. Then they look terrible the next week. The Cowboys are the girl in the neighborhood that is crazy. Has too many personalities. One day she wants to kiss, the next day she wants to slice your throat. Crazy Joe Davola from Seinfeld would be normal in comparison.

THE NFL POWER RANKINGS ARE BACK AND WE HAVE A DANDY FOR WEEK 17…

Which teams will storm into the playoffs?  What teams will blow it all up after week 17? We have some ideas. You might like them or you might disagree.

#1. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS  13-2        NO PLACE LIKE THE DOME… Saints are a totally different animal at home in the dome. Home field advantage throughout. The Saints will be very hard to beat. Plus the Superbowl will be played in Atlanta. Another dome. Plus they play there once a year. The biggest key in all of this, that the stars are aligning for this team, is the defense. We know the offense can play. That defense is something special this year and they get it done.

#2. CHICAGO BEARS 11-4

The biggest obstacle the Bears had to climb this year was against their rival Green Bay. The first week you played the Packers, a 20 point blown lead late in the game. If the Packers would have won in Soldiers Field, I would say this team is not ready for playoff football. They exercised the demons in which Aaron Rodgers has been a thorn in their sides too long. They prevailed against him two weeks ago.  Bears could of been cementing one of the number two spots in the playoffs for games they let the other team steal from them, like the Packers and the Dolphins. If Rams lose and Bears win, they could sneak in and get the number two spot. This defense will get this team deep into the playoffs. Only a few teams scare me and the Bears are one of them.

#3.LA.RAMS 12-3       Since the Rams won the flag football game versus the Chiefs, the team has been scuffling to the finish line. The team reminds me of the Russian boxer in Rocky, Drago.  The Rams will be cruising along winning against every team not even getting their uniforms dirty. Then suddenly the Rams have been punched and been in a stupor ever since.  Like the punch that Rocky landed on Drago when he started to bleed. The Rams machine has become human after all.

I think the extra training stemming from the pressure of playing in week 17 with something on the line, for the Rams is a big deal. The 49ers they play will give them a game. The Rams could be training in an old school gym for this contest, like how Rocky had to go to LA with Apollo to his roots his old gym. To get back to the basics. Rocky prevailed in that one over Mr. T. I like Wade Phillips’ defense landing the last punch perhaps a Suh eye poke of some kind to seal the deal on the number two spot overall in the NFC.

#4.KANSAS CITY CHIEFS 11-4 The Chiefs are another team that are riding the bus as the wheels are flying off before the finish. The Chargers remain on their arse like some infectious dingle berry buried deep into the skin of their hides. The team came off another shoot out loss versus the Seahawks. In Chiefdom, Chicken little is screaming that the sky is falling. One victory in week 17 against the Raiders could make it all go away including all the Jack Handy quotes the team in a rut are trying to figure out. Is Jack Handy fucking with their minds? Must be a Charger fan. They don’t have any fans.

#5.LA CHARGERS 11-4   I know the Chargers lost to the Ravens last week. I still think this Charger team has both sides of the ball playing well. You can make a case for a few teams that could be number five over the Chargers. But you can find losses by those teams that are head scratchers as well. Chargers will be a tough opponent for anyone, especially most likely being a wild card. They are not your normal wild card team because their record is better than most in their conference. Plus not having home field advantage will not affect their play because they can win on the road compared to their small gathering of die hards that come out to see them at home. I could see this team winning two road games and then running out of gas in the championship game.

#6.NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS 10-5 The Patriots are not the same team they once were. They are not playing with the full capacity of their normal working death star.

Tom Brady seems like he’s playing like the last days of Peyton Manning. Like Darth Vader taking the mask off for his last words.

Josh Gordon jumping ship just in time is back sniffing the glue. The man in the hood will help keep the Evil Empire afloat through at least a round of the playoffs. It might be time to call it, Doctor, and put the toe tag on the Patriots stiffs.

#7. BALTIMORE RAVENS 9-6 Lamar Jackson is the new man in Baltimore.

He’s shooting up defenses with his legs. He passes the ball mostly when needed. It’s the running game that controls the clock. They can have this type of control offense because the Ravens have one of the best defenses in the league. However if the Ravens do not build up an early lead, this style of offense is hard to come back from in games. Plus the league will catch up to Lamar Jackson. Look at Colin Kaepernick and RGIII. You could even say Mike Vick. All running quarterbacks that took big hits. All quarterbacks that took the league by storm. The one thing they all have in common when they only have the option to pass the football, they can not do it.

#8.HOUSTON TEXANS 10-5  This team has some big names on offense. They have some big names on defense. They have won ten games. How many of these games were close? Now as the season is coming to an end, they are losing these close games. Since the nine game streak came to an end, they are 1-2 over the last three games. To let Philadelphia and St Nick march down the field and set everything up for the Eagles game winner is not a good sign for the playoffs. It looked too damn easy.  Big names like Watt and Clowney did not rise up in that situation. Plus they blew a chance at a first round bye. Good team, but can you trust them in the playoffs?

#9. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS 9-6 Petey Carol is getting a contract extension. This year he has done a fine job. No legion of boom. Just a core young talent he molded and formed into a defense. Russell Wilson, you have to say he has to be in the conversation of elite quarterbacks. He does nothing splashy. He just continues to find ways to win. They definitely can win at home. On the road they lay clunkers. Seahawks can beat you a few ways. They can have it a low scoring game. Or they can beat a Chiefs team in a shoot out.

#10.INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 9-6 They had a scare last Sunday. They were down to Giants by 14 points. They made their comeback late in the 4th. They won by one point. Keeping their playoff hopes alive. The Colts are one of the hottest teams in the league.They still make stupid bone-headed plays that at some point will cost them. The defense was number ten or around ten coming in last week. They looked like one of the bottom teams in overall defenses last week with no Odell Beckham and Old Man River at quarterback. It’s simple… if they win Sunday they are in the playoffs. Titans stand in their way. Will Andrew have some Luck?

#11. PITTSBURGH STEELERS 8-6-1 I know in Steel country it’s like breaking 5 out of the ten commandments if you do not get 20 years out of each coach. This team is on life support for their playoffs’ lives. A team with loads of talent should have already clinched their spot in the playoffs. They are not talented enough to win the Superbowl, but they are to make the playoffs. Their Steel curtain is a shower curtain and Mike Tomlin is a defensive minded coach.You can say an absent minded coach with a  loss to the Raiders and a tie earlier in the season when Baker Mayfield was not even playing. From the regular hold outs. All the finger pointing year after year. Throw me the damn ball year after year. Is this not the team that lost to a very bad Bears team because they could not figure what to do for the National Anthem?

#12. CLEVELAND BROWNS 7-7-1  The Browns are one of those teams you do not want to play right now, especially if your playoff lives are on the line. Ask the Ravens. This season it took some tinkering. Benching Taylor and throwing in Baker Mayfield was a genius move. Then you traded away problem child receiver, Josh Gordon, to the Evil Empire.

The Browns received a draft pick and Josh Gordon faked left with the walk away from football, but then got clobbered with a tackle and suspended for sniffing glue. With the Evil Empire in disarray. With their death star crumbling there are no signs of pay back anytime soon. Then you fired the head coach. Now everything is jelling like a well-oiled machine. The offense is exciting. Baker Mayfield is awesome. Like a Navy Seal leading his team on deadly missions and completing each task. The defense looks to be an up and coming lights out power house. Ravens should be very scared.

#13.MINNESOTA VIKINGS 8-6-1 The Vikings season could be what Maxwell Smart would say.

The Vikings have been making a charge at the end of the season. Now they face the Bears for the final game of the season. Vikings need to win because all of a sudden the Eagles are flying again. Bears should go back in time and remember when they could have wiped out the Packers in the last game of the season, but they did not. Packers knocked the Bears out in the NFC championship game. Bears have a chance at the number two spot in the NFC so they have something to play for, this go around. We heard so much about the Vikings defense being so great. Where has it been the whole year? Plus you are paying Kirk Cousins a fortune. It’s time Kirk earned his keep against a quality team, not like the Dolphins and the Lions teams you easily beat. The Vikings are the Steelers of the NFC, loads of talent, but not getting it done.

#14. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES 8-7 I thought the Eagles at one point in their history booed freaking Santa Claus. Now St. Nick is slinging the rock all over the field and has the Eagles on the doorstep of the playoffs. Nick Foles started the season and did ok. Nothing special, looked actually like a regular back up quarterback. You felt his magic was over after last year’s run. I guess he needs most of the regular season to get his groove. First 8 games of the season, Nick gets his feet wet. Then by the end of the season he is primed and ready to go. Can St Nick lead his sleighh team to another playoff appearance? If he does, things will get really interesting.

#15.DALLAS COWBOYS 9-6  Cowboys play in the worst division in football. They have been beating a lot of garbage. Then they beat the Saints. Then they follow that with disappointment. You do not know what you will get from the Cowboys on any given Sunday. They have won their division. They will be home for the first playoff game. Not sure they will be able to win that game if it’s not a bottom feeder. The only way they win a playoff game is if they play like that Thursday night when they beat the Saints. Their defense played lights out. The offense was not stellar, but put up just enough points to win.

#16. TENNESSEE TITANS 9-6  Here we go again, the back door left open a crack for the Titans to sneak through to make it to the playoffs. Last year I thought they were the worst team in the playoffs. They showed me and won their first game. Titans are like the Cowboys, very mysterious when it comes to playing every Sunday. They are a forgettable team as well. Then this time of year, you look and see them having a shot on the bubble as this year they need a win to get in. I think Blaine Gabbert over the regressing Marcus Mariota gives them their best chance to win. Yeah, I said it, an X Jaguar leading the way. At least it’s not Bortles. The Titans need to run Derrick Henry like he owes them money. As you can see, not win the game on Gabbert’s arm alone. Titans defense does pretty well I think.

#17.GREEN BAY PACKERS 6-8-1  Who will be the next head coach in Green Bay?

Lebron Rodgers has two candidates to take over next year as head coach. The State Farm agent or his actual agent. The man in the Khakis resembles Lovie Smith. The agent resembles a young Jimmy Johnson. Rodgers has the whole off season to see what direction he wants his team to go.

#18. ATLANTA FALCONS 6-9  Changes might be happening in the Walking Dead city. If Rick Grimes can go, so can Dan Quinn. We know the Falcons have one of the best offenses in the league. Injuries plagued the defense this year like an outbreak virus that caused them to be walking dead in the secondary. If they can build a solid defense through the draft and get some free agents to fill some key holes, this team could be back in the mix that quickly.

#19. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS 4-11  If the 49ers can only play the last six of their games each season over, the last two seasons they would be in the playoffs. The 49ers have become spoiler alert. They played tough against the Bears last week. They beat a very good Seahawk team. They beat Denver when they were red hot a few weeks ago.

Could the LA RAMS suddenly become not heard from after week 17?

#20.WASHINGTON REDSKINS 7-8   This team could finish 8-8 after a season where your top quarterback broke his leg. The same style of break as one of your legendary quarterbacks, Joe Theismann. The team has no wide outs. Both tight ends went down with injuries. You rely most of the year on old man river, Spanky Peterson, to run the ball. A guy you picked up off the curb. Speaking of garbage bins, you found the Butt Fumbler there. Then to replace his poor play you found Josh Johnson at the flea market. The defense has been pretty steady all year. If the Skins could improve that offense with some youth, some good free agents,  and stay away from the dumps next year. It would make the defense even better to start since that is what has you close to a 500 record.

#21. CAROLINA PANTHERS 6-9 This team is that bug that is trying to maneuver its way out of the toilet. Then you flush and it goes round and round. They need to make changes. They have lost a lot of close games. You can say the defense has under-performed. However it’s had its moments. You can say not enough offensive weapons. Perhaps a new voice. A new head coach. I would ask about the cookie at quarterback. Great, he puts up fantasy numbers. Seriously, where are you going to go with him as your leader? In the Superbowl, the Panthers played and Newton did not dive for a key fumble at the end of the game. Right there tells me you wasted more years waiting for him to lead your team back to the promise land. If the Skipper would have gotten rid of Gilligan, they would have been off the island much sooner.

#22.NEW YORK GIANTS  5-10   The Giants are a very puzzling team. Last week their offense was rolling without their star Odell Beckham. This a team with lots of weapons from the rookie running back and the young receivers. The tight ends were looking good catching a few balls. I think without Beckham and without Eli Manning if they found someone like a Derrick Carr, a younger gunslinger, this offense would be very impressive. Get rid of higher salaries for draft picks, get that quarterback and improving the defense should be next years goals. Less headaches without Beckham as well.

#23.DENVER BRONCOS 6-9 You gambled on Vanilla Ice as your quarterback and now you are right where you were last year at this time, probably worse. Case Keenum, you paid a lot of benjamins to. The Broncos had one stretch this season where they beat the Chargers and the Steelers. It was that stretch where it looked like they might make a late run at things. They were in the thick of things. It did not last and they are back to below average. Kind of makes you think if Chad Kelly did not go off the deep end. Perhaps you could be looking at a young quarterback with a very strong arm making progress in a season that has gone south. It’s back to the drawing board with perhaps a new signal caller and another head coach could be in the works. BLOW IT UP!!!

#24. BUFFALO BILLS 5-10  Sean McDermott does wonders on the defensive side of the ball. This defense is a top ten defense every year. The Bills need an absolute overhaul on offense. Enough with the caveman style of offense.

If they had even had a decent offense, they would be in the playoffs. Get Josh Allen some help. Put up a brick wall instead of the straw being held by glue they call their offensive line. Shady is not the real McCoy. Dump him. Get a freaking receiver..Not somebody who can dress the part. Not somebody who looks the part. Get a guy who can get separation and catch the ball.

#25.DETROIT LIONS 5-10  When you pick from the Evil Empire’s tree of coaches all’s  you end up with is broken storm trooper.

ESPECIALLY A BEARDED STORM TROOPER

Don’t you wish you could have a do over? Like those do overs on certain plays. in the sandlot playing baseball. The Lions need one on their hire last off-season with Matt Patricia.  A guy that is late to team meetings and is the head coach. However, he tells a reporter the proper way to sit in the chair. The unkempt bearded man does not even have the respect of the players. He might have never had respect from day one. Can we have a do over in Detroit?

#26.MIAMI DOLPHINS 7-8  When you lose to the Jaguars, it is time to look at yourself in the mirror. You probably do not like what you see. Dolphins started off 3-0. But I was not a believer then and I’m still not a believer. Brock Osweiler looks better a quarterback than Ryan Tannehill. Now I’m going to the bottom of the barrel saying this next thing. Jay Cutler looked better last year than Ryan Tannehill. Dolphins do have some pieces. They need an overhaul, the most important position on the field, the commander behind center.  Joe Flacco, Eli Manning, perhaps bring back Jay Cutler. Or Afro it up with Colin Kaepernick.

#27.TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS 5-10  The Buccaneer ship is sinking.

Instead of women and children off the vessel first, Winston and Jackson off the boat first.  Another team that needs to BLOW IT UP!!!!

#28. CINCINNATI BENGALS 6-9 The Bengals had a promising start to the season. Coming off a very fine ending to last season. Sometimes the domino effect takes place where injuries start a chain reaction leaving your team walking dead. The team is not those scary zombies either. It just takes one smart quarterback to slice and dice your defense.

#29. OAKLAND RAIDERS 4-11      Raiders were looking like they were dumping games on purpose. Tanking for the draft. They have beaten the Steelers and the Broncos in recent weeks. Will this be enough to keep them in Oakland one more year ? They are heading to Vegas in 2020. Their lease has ran out in Oakland. Will Oakland Welcome back the Sweathogs in 2019?

I would say kick their sorry arses out of their town. Take the black hole with you. Property might go back up. Concentrate on keeping the baseball team in town. Besides, Jon Gruden is no Gabe Kotter. I would love to see the Raiders play in San Diego next year. Love to see the Chargers come into San Diego as a road team.

#30.NEW YORK JETS 4-11  If the Jets would have held on to the big lead they had against the Cheese Doodles, I would have them higher. Gang Green is in the middle of developing their young quarterback in Sam Darnold. Who has had some impressive games so far. Lots of work needs to be done in New York. This might be a team that might do a complete tear down and find a new coaching staff and revamp the whole roster around Sam Darnold. Perhaps thinking he could turn the corner in his second year. Like Trubisky or Mahomes. Some sunlight during the dark times, being a Jet fan.

#31. ARIZONA CARDINALS 4-11 You swept the 49ers this year. You beat Green Bay, in Green Bay. Your young gunslinger is still developing. However big change could happen next off season for the Cardinals. Could Steve Wilks be one and done after only being hired last year?  Mike McCarthy could be the new guy since his firing from Lebron Rodgers. Might be a good thing..

#32. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS 5-10 They were one game away from the Superbowl. Talk about falling and sliding down the big slide in the game of chutes and ladders. Tom Coughlin, the man in charge of football operations of the Jags, says his team plays STUPID. Doug Marone, the head Moron, should be the first to go. They need a quarterback. Get rid of Fournette, he is a ticking time bomb ready to go off any minute. Many on the defense side of the ball should change their uniforms into orange prison fatigues. Too many big egos on this team. It was just a matter of time before the inmates would take over the asylum.

 

 

 

SUNDAY DECEMBER 30, 2018

THE MATCH UP’S                                   OUR WINNER

BROWNS AT RAVENS                             RAVENS

DOLPHINS AT BILLS                                  BILLS

LIONS AT PACKERS                                    PACKERS

JAGUARS AT TEXANS                                 TEXANS

RAIDERS AT CHIEFS                                      CHIEFS

BEARS AT VIKINGS                                           BEARS

JETS AT PATRIOTS                                             PATRIOTS

PANTHERS AT SAINTS                                     SAINTS

COWBOYS AT GIANTS                                     GIANTS

BENGALS AT STEELERS                                      STEELERS

FALCONS AT BUCCANEERS                           FALCONS

EAGLES AT REDSKINS                                          EAGLES

CHARGERS AT BRONCOS                                CHARGERS

49ERS AT RAMS                                                          RAMS

CARDINALS AT SEAHAWKS                            SEAHAWKS

COLTS AT TITANS                                                        COLTS

YESTERDAYS PICKS

MATCH UPS

REDSKINS AT TITANS

OUR WINNER: TITANS

RAVENS AT CHARGERS

OUR WINNER: CHARGERS

DECEMBER 23, 2018 (THE SUNDAY SLATE)

GIANTS AT COLTS

Colts are one the hottest teams in the league. Giants are preparing their vacation plans. They will have their walking dead preventative defense going through the motions. Could this be the end of Eli Manning in a Giants uniform these final two weeks?

OUR PICK: COLTS

JAGUARS AT DOLPHINS

If I was a Jaguars fan, I think I would hang myself. Then again, killing myself over this group of losers is not the way to go about it. I would trade the team to London. Find a new team to root for. Perhaps the Dolphins which are playing way better than the Jags and are a Florida team. Who isn’t playing better than the Jags? I can not come up with an answer. Perhaps Houston University, suffering a 70-14 loss in the Armed Forces bowl game.

OUR PICK: DOLPHINS

FALCONS AT PANTHERS

Both teams are having a bad year on the field. It’s a very bad year also when you’ve stopped sniffing glue cold turkey and watch these teams on the field. Panthers are at home in this one. If their defense can repeat how they played last week versus the Saints, that will be the key in this one. The Cookie should be able to put more points on the Falcon defense than he did the Saints.

OUR PICK: PANTHERS

BUCCANEERS AT COWBOYS

Everybody was talking about how the Boys are playing so well. How they turned the corner. How they took control of that heap. The heap of flaming burning tires of a division. They feasted on a pile of crap just to get to the top. Then the Colts put them down like a horse with a broken leg. Cowboys play another inferior team this week. Phew, we can come off the ledge now that the Buccaneers are coming to town.

OUR PICK: COWBOYS

VIKINGS AT LIONS

The kittens usually roar at home if they even make any kind of noise at all. The Lions are too busy in a deep slumber, stretched out by the window getting some sun. Perfect animals for the petting zoo. The Vikings had a big win last week. Cousins with that huge contract has to lead his dragon ship through motor city and slay the tame beasts. To keep thriving for a better seed and hold on to what they’ve got. Lions might open their eyes, however they will take another snooze.

OUR PICK : VIKINGS

BROWNS AT BENGALS

Bengals did not look like the Bumbles against the Raiders last week. I expect them to return to old form against the Browns this week. The Browns are one of those teams you do not want to play right now. I think Cleveland has too many weapons for the Bumbles to handle. Everything in Browns country is coming together. I think Baker Mayfield has a huge game in this contest, a repeat like he did last time when these two teams met.

OUR PICK:BROWNS

BILLS AT PATRIOTS

Just what the Brady ordered. The Death Star spinning out of control. The Evil Empire, a flaming wreck of a football team. What do the Patriots need most? A division opponent where they chew up and spit out like a hillbilly with some tobacco in his mouth. The Patriots have owned the Bills and are much better at home. Love to see the Bills kick Brady and the Patriots while they’re down like this. The Evil Hooded mastermind genius will come up with a plan to get them out of this rut.

OUR PICK: PATRIOTS

PACKERS AT JETS

Poor Aaron Rodgers will be home for the playoffs. He’ll take it out on the Jets. I’m sure he’s too busy to care these next few weeks, picking out a new head coach. His master plan is just starting. I think it will be the State Farm guy who will take over as the Packers’ new coach.

OUR PICK: PACKERS

TEXANS AT EAGLES

Nick Foles is back and now will lead the Eagles back to the playoffs and back to the Superbowl. Then they wake up from a drunken slumber with a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak cuddled between their arms. Cheese all over the covers. It was good while it lasted. Texans go into Philly and come out with a victory.

OUR PICK EAGLES

RAMS AT CARDINALS

Rams need the Cardinals right now. They are going through dark times right now. They feel like they are cornered. They have no answers. Cardinals are like that old girlfriend you can call up late in the wee hours of the morning. Get your booty call. Get your head clear and give you just enough spark to re-light the torch and get back to your winning ways. Yes, Rams love red heads.

OUR PICK : RAMS

BEARS AT 49ERS

49ers have been very sneaky. Playing possum pretending they are dead on the road looking like they were run down by a bus. Then as they are about to be picked up, they jump at you and bite you in the neck. Rip out your Adams Apple. Then you find yourself losing the game as you bleed out. The Bears are not buying what the 49ers are selling. Bears will devour this 49ers road kill and that will be the last peep we hear from them.

OUR PICK:DA BEARS

STEELERS AT SAINTS

I think the Steelers used up all of their energy and resources just to beat the bully. The Gooch, who is Tom Brady, who has been tormenting them for years in the school yard. Steelers are different on the road. The Saints are a different animal inside the dome. I think the Saints reload and come out with a fire power the Steelers will be unprepared for. A fight where the Steelers will think it was a bad idea to bring a knife to a gun fight.

OUR PICK: SAINTS

CHIEFS AT SEAHAWKS

Seahawks thrive at home. Chiefs coming off a loss to the Chargers. Seahawks lost last week. Which coach will prevail, Pete Carol or Andy Reid? I’m betting on Andy Reid. The Chiefs’ losses have come from tough opponents. Seattle lays an egg in San Francisco. I think the Chiefs offense will be very hard to stop for the young defense Seattle has. The Chiefs’ defense will make a few stops of their own.

OUR PICK:CHIEFS

BRONCOS AT RAIDERS

Jon Gruden wants the number one pick overall. Broncos should help him out with that. That’s the gift that keeps on given in Gruden’s mind.

OUR PICK:BRONCOS

 

SUNDAY’S SLATE DECEMBER 16, 2018

THE MATCHUPS

DOLPHINS AT VIKINGS

Both teams are living on the edge of their playoff lives. Vikings holding sixth seed in NFC. Dolphins outside looking in on the bubble. The Miami Miracle used all the Dolphins’ nine lives they had. It’s time that Kirk Cousins starts earning his pay check. Vikings at home they prevail in this one and the Viking horn will be loud and prosperous.

OUR PICK: VIKINGS

TITANS AT GIANTS

No Odell Beckham in this contest. Both teams coming off wins against teams that consisted of a butt fumbler and a homicidal maniac that wanted to beat up a Titan fan. Titans are playing for their playoff lives. Which starting running back will do better for their team? It’s the key in this one. It’s that time of the year where Titans sneak their way through the back door to get in the playoffs. The door opens a crack in this one as Titans prevail in a close one.

OUR PICK: TITANS

RAIDERS AT BENGALS

Back in the way back time machine, this was the match up that ended Bo Jackson’s playing career. This game is right up Jon Gruden’s alley, a game with out any defenses. Bengals are back to the Bumbles. Raiders have a quarterback we know. They have more pieces to be able to win this one. That does not say much as this game is a below the swamp type of game on the docket. How many future XFL players will come out of this game? We like the Raiders.

OUR PICK : RAIDERS

REDSKINS AT JAGUARS

Does it get worse than Raiders Bengals? Yes it does, my Dear Watson. Jaguars and Redskins, well I’d rather watch the American Alliance Football League coming this spring. This game features quarterbacks Bortles, Kessler, and a butt fumbler. The best QB on either roster is Josh Johnson who came in to mop up for the Butt Fumbler who put them in a 40 to 0 hole last week. As long as Josh Johnson stays upright and does not get shived by the crazy Fournette before the game, I like the Skins winning this contest by the skin of their teeth.

OUR PICK: REDSKINS

COWBOYS AT COLTS

This contest could be the game of the week. Every game the Cowboys are in has to be America’s game of the week. Beside the Saints, the Cowboys have been beating cream puffs. Colts are playing for their lives. They took down the Texans last week. This week they will go for the Texas sweep. Colts prevail as Luck has the game of his life. I like the Colts in this one.

OUR PICK: COLTS

BUCCANEERS AT RAVENS

Buccaneers are making their vacation plans for the off season. Winston and Fitzpatrick will ride the teacups at Disney. The Ravens let one get away against the top team in the AFC, the Chiefs last week. Ravens get the early lead in this one and their defense shuts down the Buccaneers the whole way to hold on to the sixth seed. Put the pressure on the Steelers doorstep for a chance at the division.

OUR PICK: RAVENS

LIONS AT BILLS

Lions and Statford do not have a good history in the snow. WELCOME TO BUFFALO!!! Big sign of the Bumble from the Rudolph welcoming the Lions to Buffalo. Buffalo’s defense is a top ten defense. They play even better at home. Josh Allen will take his ground assault and prevail and be king of the mountain of the snow piles in Buffalo. Perhaps a few snow angels in the end zone to celebrate a rare Buffalo win.

OUR PICK:BILLS

CARDINALS AT FALCONS

This game is for the birds. I just picture Alfred Hitchcock’s movie, The Birds, in this one. Cardinals and Falcons pecking each other’s eye balls out. Then they attack all the fans which will turn the Atlanta fans into zombies and become the latest episode of the Walking Dead. Meanwhile Matt Ryan leads a key drive as Falcons win this blood bath.

OUR PICK: FALCONS

PACKERS AT BEARS

The people in Chicago have waited for this day a very long time. It is not the Superbowl, but this is much bigger. It is the day where the Bears will exercise their demons. Slay the closet monster that has kept them up at nights. Bed terrors, wetting the bed, every year the same outcome. Aaron freaking Rodgers beats the Bears again. If the Cubs could exercise the goat. It is time and it will happen this weekend. Bears buries Rodgers in the Soldier’s Field turf. Those crime scenes where they cover the bodies with the white sheets. On this day they will cover Rodgers’ body with an orange hunting vest. Who will Rogers fire after this game?

OUR PICK: BEARS

SEAHAWKS AT 49ERS

If you have to get stuck watching this one, maybe cleaning the gutters sounds more fun. Weekend at Bernie’s Two even sounds better. Part two will have Seahawks prevail in this snoozer.

OUR PICK SEAHAWKS

PATRIOTS AT STEELERS

Once upon a time the Steelers and the Patriots were the two power houses of the AFC. Now both teams ride the short bus in a game both teams need. It will be the type of scenario where this one ends in a tie. Steelers lose to Raiders last week. Then the Patriots fall victim to the Miami Miracle. Patriots and the Evil Empire will prevail as the Steelers and Big Ben are Brady’s bitch. Mop the floors when they are done with this one. Big Ben on the ground making sure Brady’s kitchen floor is waxed and polished.

OUR PICK: EVIL EMPIRE

EAGLES AT RAMS

No Carson Wentz in this one for the Eagles. Even though they do have Nick the Dick, last year’s Superbowl and playoff hero, the Rams will be too much.This one is in LA with nice warmer weather for the Rams to play in. Not that Chicago weather they experienced last week. Rams get back on track here.

OUR PICK: RAMS

SAINTS AT PANTHERS

Saints come in and just devour the cookies left by Santa in Carolina. Christmas candy cane Fig Newtons. Somebody gets fired after this contest. Saints hold on to the number one seed in the NFC.

OUR PICK: SAINTS