SATURDAY GAMES (DECEMBER 15,2018)

FIRST MATCH-UP

TEXANS AT JETS

Jets finally won a game last week. Can they win two in a row? Texans’ winning streak was snapped by the Colts which started versus the Colts way back in week four. The Texans are by far the more talented team. Jets are still probably re-living their rare win from last week. That feeling like they had sex for the first time. They’re on cloud nine thinking of the images of the naked girl they had in their room with their parents in the house.

OUR PICK: TEXANS

Too much at stake for the Texans. They will rebound with a win. Plus a win can help their playoff positioning. Most of the AFC leaders are running out of gas as they have not even approached the finish line. Besides, they need to win so the Colts do not catch them.

BROWNS AT BRONCOS

Broncos have been on a roll, knocking off some good teams. Then they get knocked off by a bad team, the 49ers last week. The ways of the NFL on any given Sunday, blah blah blah. Meanwhile the Browns have been riding the roller coaster going up and down, but are playing better since they axed their head coach. Ask the Fig Newton and he’ll tell you.

OUR PICK: BROWNS

The Broncos had that last gasp for air and made a run. I think they are out of gas. I think the Browns have more energy. I think the Browns have nothing to lose. They are just going out and playing football. Letting it rip. Mayfield versus Keenum. I’m going with Mayfield. Browns will be this team that will get hot now and make a run at the end. They probably will miss the playoffs. However they will play a huge spoiler role. It will be a season to build on. It will be a very successful season since the team did not win one game in 2017. They have some great pieces in place on both sides of the ball.

 

Our butcher in place for another installment of dead from the neck up. We are ready to slice and dice the latest chapter in meat for brains that linger in the NFL. We have three brand new heads to discuss. Three heads of dead meat we even broke our saw blade slicing into.

THE FIRST MEAT HEAD OF THE WEEK: AARON RODGERS

This is an old picture of the meat for brains quarterback. It’s a picture that helps explain why Aaron Rodgers is dead from the neck up. First leaving the house with a mustache  like that, you make  all the Wisconsin hillbillies normal. My gripe with Mr. Rodgers is bringing the NBA to the NFL. Aaron and most likely his State Farm agent, will deny that he got the head coach fired. I bet you can get his dirty slimy agent in that commercial to admit it. Put a few bucks in his pocket and he’ll admit anything.

Rumors have been swirling the whole year that Aaron Rodgers and Coach McCarthy were not seeing eyes to eye. Aaron Rodgers was quiet until after the firing after people called him out on it. He denied it. Never said anything before the coach was fired.  The Packers even fired a linebacker coach for expressing his  opinion on a tweet. Poor number twelve can not be held accountable. Everyone needs to be held accountable the Lombardi way, even number twelve. Truth hurts.

It’s never Rodgers’ fault on anything. The brass and the people who wear the cheese hats think he walks on water. Yes, he has won a Superbowl. Eli Manning has won two Superbowls. He is one of the best quarterbacks in the league. He is the most lucky quarterback in the league as well, hitting last second Hail Mary’s or last minute drives where you shake your head in disbelief.

Now everything most likely on all personnel decisions is probably run by him. If you can not see the midwest version of Lebron James brewing, you need to open your eyes. When the Bears finally put Mr. Rodgers out of his misery and bury him in the ground with his hunter orange vest on, you will see the collapse of the Green Bay Packers. Aaron Rodgers’ head has gotten bigger than the Macy’s floats in the Thanksgiving parade. Helium gets those floats in the air. Ego keeps Aaron’s head up in the air. We know one thing, Rodgers is dead from the neck up. Bringing the NBA way to the gridiron. The porch light is on in front of the hillbillies’ home but he’s out peeing in the woods.

THE SECOND MEAT HEAD OF THE WEEK: LEONARD FOURNETTE

When it comes to the Jacksonville Jaguars, the whole team could be the meat heads of the week. Most of them are dead from the neck up. They remind me of those stupid Cincinnati Bengal teams that were all thugs and played stupid. Even the President of football operations, Tom Coughlin,  said the Jag Bags play stupid. Once upon a time the Jags were almost to the Superbowl. Then they turned stupid. You never know what you will get in a box of chocolates. One chocolate out of that box we want to talk about, is the running back for the Jaguars.

Leonard Fournette is his name, but I do not have his future prison serial number at hand. With the game on the line against the Buffalo Bills. he is involved in a fist fight after a play.

Before the fight he was actually having a monster of a game. However he let down the whole team and had to get involved in the melee after a play.  You could see above, him and Lawson going at it like two hockey players on the ice. Both players were kicked out of the game. Jaguars afterwards could not move the ball. Buffalo ends up winning the game. Fournette gets suspended one game for his part in throwing fists with his bout versus Lawson.

After serving the game suspension, the angry elf returns to game action. The Jaguars are playing the Titans in Nashville. The angry elf Leonard Fournette gets into it with a Titan fan .  Founette told the fan he was going to beat his ass. Poor Leonard is not aware everyone carries a cell phone and most of them probably recorded him yelling this at someone in the stands.  Fournette is probably a South pole elf. You sir are DEAD FROM THE NECK UP!!!

THE MEAT HEAD OF THE WEEK: KAREEM HUNT

Another angry south pole elf we are talking about. Kareem Hunt of the Kansas City Chiefs. These elves can not behave themselves around Christmas. Kareem Hunt’s incident actually took place earlier this year before the season started. Perhaps it was covered up because he was caught on tape having an incident with a girl in the hallway of hotel where he stays in the off season. He ended up playing the whole year until he was cut two weeks ago when the video surfaced.

This took place In Cleveland. He shoves a girl down to the ground. Then others got involved trying to stop it. Before they could break things up it shows the running back kicking the girl as she is on the ground. Maybe he took care of it after the fact as no chargers were filed. He was having a monster year. His young career was going very well. The Chiefs are off to an awesome start. Then the dark clouds followed Kareem Hunt as the video surfaced. The Chiefs cut him. They inserted the backup and he is keeping the red machine of football rolling along nicely. These running backs think they are kings. They can do anything they want. However they are a dime a dozen. They are like a light bulb and easy to be replaced.

Kareem Hunt shoved and kicked that gal like she was trash. The Chiefs dumped you like trash. A promising football career spoiled because you are DEAD FROM THE NECK UP as you let somebody get you so angered and you respond like that.

Since Kareem Hunt is a DOG… Congrats to Mr. Hunt, he is our MEAT HEAD OF THE WEEK… This might be your last award for your football play in the hotel hallway. Assault in the hallway.

 

 

THE THURSDAY NIGHT GAME (DECEMBER 13, 2018)

THE MATCH-UP

CHARGERS AT CHIEFS

This could be one of the best Thursday night games out of the bunch. This is an AFC west show down. Division title and playoff positioning are on the line. Both teams are 1 & 2 in the division. This is the second meeting between the two teams. Chiefs winning the first one in LA earlier in the season. The Chiefs have been lighting teams up with their offense all year. The young gunslinger, Patrick Mahomes, has been wowing people. Meanwhile the Chargers have been quietly putting up wins and staying one game behind the Chiefs. The Chiefs can’t quite shake the Chargers as they’re like a nasty dingleberry trapped in their behinds.

This will be like a Western movie with a shoot out at the Coo Coo Korall. The ending will be like the movie Departed, a surprise ending will seal the deal for whichever team. As the guns smoke at the end, one man will be standing with a huge bullet wound in the chest. He will be wobbling and might need help standing. The one gunslinger will be lightning up a smoke walking away with bodies scattered all over. He will be walking away in the sunset with a victory for his team.

OUR PICK: CHARGERS

I think the Chargers takes this one in Kansas City. Chargers have played well on the road. They really do not have a home field advantage as when they play in LA it’s most of the opponents fans cheering on their team. So every game is a road game. It is hard to beat a team twice in one season. This game will be a shoot out. The Chargers will have no problem putting up points on the Chiefs defense. The Chiefs offense will score points as well. The big key will be Joey Bosa playing this go around. The defense has been playing better since he is back healthy. The defense will be able to pressure Mahomes like the Ravens did just on Sunday. Mahomes still made plays but they were made through the skin of his teeth as he just got the ball off. Mahomes will be forced into one key mistake that will help the Chargers prevail. I think Phillip Rivers will show true grit in this one and he will come close to having a perfect night. They will split the season series. The division will be decided in the last week of the season how we like to see things finish up.

THE SUNDAY SLATE (DECEMBER 9,2018)

THE MATCH UPS

COLTS AT TEXANS

This is my upset special of the day. Colts handed the Texans the very first game they played each other. Then Texans took advantage and have not lost a game since winning their first one versus the Colts. Plus losing 6 to 0 versus the Jaguars. They are lucky they have not been kicked out of the league.

OUR WINNER: COLTS

PANTHERS AT BROWNS

Rather see the Browns win this game. What’s the prediction on how many INT’S will be thrown in this one? Fig Newton comes out of the cookie jar and ends the Panthers’ losing streak.

OUR WINNER: PANTHERS

PATRIOTS AT DOLPHINS

This one has the Evil Empire stomping all over the fish people in Miami. Another planet taken over by the dark side. Another division title coming soon.

OUR PICK: PATRIOTS

GIANTS AT REDSKINS

When the butt fumbler is behind the center, you know your team is in big trouble in ‘Little China.’ Redskins turn dead skins and season officially over in DC.

OUR PICK: REDSKINS

JETS AT BILLS

Lots of snow on the ground. Fans bring their own shovels and they get to watch this big AFC East showdown. Maybe in the 1990’s. Last time was ugly for the Jets. I think Josh Allen runs for two scores in this one. Bills prevail in the snow once again.

OUR PICK: BILLS

RAVENS AND CHIEFS

Ravens have a defense. Chiefs have an offense. Who prevails? I give the Chiefs to solve the Ravens defense in the second quarter. Chiefs are very hard to beat at home.

OUR PICK: CHIEFS

SAINTS AT BUCCANEERS

I would hate to play the Saints after a loss. Sean Payton and Drew Brees have probably gone to some secluded cabin somewhere and just plotted all week. To come up with a plan to sink the Buccaneers in their own yard.

OUR PICK: SAINTS

FALCONS AT PACKERS

Aaron Rodgers now has sunk so low. He is like your typical NBA superstar, getting your coach fired. Falcons are a mess. Usually the first game for any new coach ends up with a victory. Different voice, simple game plan, and the Packers can only win at home when they are not playing the Cardinals, of course.

OUR PICK: PACKERS

BRONCOS AT 49ERS

49ERS ARE A COMPLETE DISASTER. Broncos have been rolling. They have knocked off the Chargers and the Steelers during this, all of sudden we know how to win, streak. 49ers should be an easy one for them.

BENGALS AT CHARGERS

No Andy Dalton. No AJ Green. Chargers should win this one easy. Will the Bumbles have more fans in LA than the Chargers? Even though technically the chargers are at home, it should be an easy road win for them.

OUR PICK: CHARGERS

STEELERS AT RAIDERS

If Big Ben can’t win this one, everyone should be fired in this organization. Steelers don’t need the steel curtain for this one. The shower curtain will work well on this pathetic Raider team.

OUR PICK: STEELERS

LIONS AT CARDINALS

Lions seem like a team that beats the crappy teams that their division foes lose to. In upsets. Bears upended by the Dolphins. Lions had no problem with the fins. I see the Lions going to Arizona and having an easy time handling the Cardinals.

OUR PICK: LIONS

EAGLES AT COWBOYS

This game could be for all the marbles. This one is the hardest one to predict. You do not know who will show up. Both teams are on small win streaks. The Eagles have finally strung together two victories in a row. Not impressed with the two wins. Cowboy wins, especially over the Saints, seem to leave a bigger impression on me. Even though the Cowboys will probably screw it up. I give the nod to the Cowboys because they are at home.

OUR PICK: COWBOYS

RAMS AT BEARS

This is another tough game to figure out. Are the Bears for real? The Rams are due for a let down. I’m taking Bears because they are at home. LA has to travel to a colder place. Mitch Trubisky is back behind center. I think Bears’ defense makes a BOLD statement in this one. Defense does win big games.

OUR PICK: BEARS

VIKINGS AT SEAHAWKS

This one from the start of the season, I would say Vikings in an easy one. Vikings have not played well at all this season. Yes, they are still in the thick of things, but that defense, we are still waiting on. Kirk Cousins has not been the Joe Montana they hoped for. I have no idea how the Seahawks are playing so well. Is Pete Carol a great coach? I feel like I’m choking on my own vomit saying that out loud. I guess you get rid of the cancer in the Legion of Boom defense and then you do well, is my theory. Seahawks are playing well and they are at home.

OUR PICK:  SEAHAWKS

THURSDAY NIGHT GAME (DECEMBER 6, 2018)

THE MATCH UP

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (4-8) AT TENNESSEE TITANS (6-6)

What a clunker of a game this week on Thursday night. Both these teams made it to the playoffs last year. The Titans, well, I still scratch my head over how they even made it. Plus they even won a playoff game. The Jaguars had an awesome defense last season to hide their weaknesses on offense. This year the Jaguars’ defense has been MIA except last week versus the Colts. Frank Reich, head coach of the Colts, probably just gave the Jaguars an early  Christmas gift. A win to break their losing streak. The Colts gave the Texans a win earlier in the year. They have won nine straight. The Titans are a team that you have no idea what they will do on any given Sunday. One week they look pathetic and weak. Then come back a week later and they look like world beaters. You can’t trust anything on either team.

The Titans are at home and have something behind center that is closer to an actual quarterback than the Jaguars. The Titans always do well against their division opponents. I think the Jaguars have to ride their running back. Leonard Fournette is back from his suspension for brawling. He is the key for the Jaguars to win this one.

The words keep playing in my head, of Tom Coughlin ,the President of football operations for the Jaguars. He said his team plays stupid. I agree with him. The Jaguars won last week because Frank Reich got too cute going for it on 4th down and being stopped each time. If the Colts would have taken the field goals the Jaguars would be coming into Nashville with a very long losing streak. Titans struggled with the Jets last week, however they prevailed. With all this said I still probably do not have the answers you are looking for. The answer to decide who will actually win this game.

OUR PICK: TITANS

We pick the Titans because they might just have enough football IQ to just edge the Stupid.

Here we go again. It’s the same ole song and dance at the Berto center. Today, the Chicago Bulls fired their puppet. The puppet being head coach, Fred Hoiberg. Now what about the men behind the curtain? The ones that have been pulling the strings all these years. Does anybody above John Paxson or his goon, Gar Forman, see the real problem here? It’s like this duo who run things  hires a company to clean up their crime scene. The crime scene is all of their mistakes they have made running this organization into the ground. I agree, get rid of the puppet. Now you need to call  the maid service and clean the house of Gar Pax stench that has devoured the city of Chicago. The Bulls need new blood in this front office to cure  the heap these two morons have piled up over the years.

The first thing that jumps out at me is Fred Hoiberg should have never been hired. Fred Hoiberg was doing well at the school he went to and played for. Iowa State where he was known as the the mayor. The whole town of Ames, Iowa loved him. They probably still do. My point is he got the Cyclones to the NCAA tournament. He got his old school there a few years. The Cyclones were seeded pretty well. They were not a 16th seed coming in hoping to pull off a miracle of some kind. He never won one game in the tournament. That is a red flag in my book. The conference Iowa State played in could have been weak. It’s not a big school. How many power houses was that school playing each year? Fred Hoiberg played ten seasons in the NBA. Played 4 seasons with the Bulls. He did not come in with any NBA coaching experience under his belt. He did a few years in the front office for the Minnesota Timberwolves.  No NBA coaching and a guy that never won a game in the NCAA tournament is the guy you hired.

I never liked the philosophy Fred Hoiberg came in with. I know the NBA these days are all about firing up the three pointers. That’s what his offense was all about. Getting personnel that can shoot the three pointer. It was a style to get multiple shots from behind the three point line. It was all about pushing the ball up the court with a quick pass and launching the ball behind the arc. Then on defense the philosophy was pretty much a prevent defense that is run in football. In football it’s designed to kill the clock. In basketball it does not really stop teams from scoring. Jimmy Butler complained about the lack of defense. Even the young rookie, Wendell Carter Jr., questioned the lack of defense. Fred’s philosophy reminds me of the those Phoenix Suns teams that could score a lot but stopped no one. Results never won a championship with that style. The Warriors these days are still the best team in the league. They play defense and they can shoot the three as well. But they have so many other ways on offense to score points.

From the beginning this was set up to fail with Fred Hoiberg. It all started with John Paxson and Gar Forman wanting Tom Thibodeau out of town. They wanted someone they could control. Right out of the gates Fred Hoiberg never had the right personnel for his philosophy. The front office brought in guys like Dwyane Wade who was on his last leg. Then they added Rajon Rondo who was never like his Boston days. The locker room was divided most of time. Then Jimmy Butler had his way and never took Fred seriously. This resulted in a trip to the playoffs. Boston Celtics that year eliminated the Bulls in the first round. Then the Bulls had a clearance sale. Fred finally got players he needed to run his style of offense. They assembled mostly fragile players that were in and out of the MASH unit more than actually on the hardwood floors.

The big headlines this team made under Fred’s watch was the shot heard all over the NBA. Bobby Portis punching his own teammate, Nikola Mirotic, out in a practice. That was not the first time these two teammates had a disagreement. It was a problem that escalated to the punch that broke a few facial bones in Nikola Mirotic’s face. Eventually to end the feud, Nikola was traded to another team. This tells me that Fred Hoiberg has problems controlling his locker room. Before this incident Jimmy Butler did his own thing. Back then the locker room was divided as I told you earlier.

This year dealing with half his roster dealing with injuries. One being their best player from the year before in Lauri Markkanen. The other key pieces missing in action were Kris Dunn, Bobby Portis and Denzel Valentine. The results a 5-19 record to start the season. Last season the team started off slow due to a few injuries and a slow start. With all the roster shuffling. Trying to win off the fly and then going into a rebuild. A very young team. Lots of injuries. Lots of egos. Lots of angry and disgruntled players resulted in a 115-155 record for Fred Hoiberg in his first stint as a NBA coach, that could be his only. Being set up to take the fall is the perfect way of describing Fred’s Bulls coaching career.

Fred Hoiberg’s assistant coach Jim Boylen now takes over the Bulls. He at least has prior NBA experience working with one of the best coaches in the game, Greg Popovich of the San Antonio Spurs. He was assistant for the Spurs for a few years gaining wisdom and improving his own coaching style. He does have head coaching experience in college. He coached at the university of Utah. He guided the Uthes to the NCAA tournament as a number five seed. Another guy that could not win an actual game in the tournament. However his coaching resume is impressive. Before being hired in Utah he was Tom Izzo’s top guy at Michigan State. This is the type of resume the Bulls Brass should have looked at years before the experiment with Fred imploded on impact.

The Bulls Brass, John Paxson and Gar Forman, have more lives than a cat. Jim Boylen will be the sixth head coach these two have been through. The list started with Bill Cartwright then Scott Skiles followed that by Vinny Del Negro. He was the one John Paxson punched. Then Tom Thibodeau, your best hire out of all the other choices. He did it his way. That did not go over well as he was not a yes man for Bert and Ernie. Enough is enough with cutting the tail off the snake of the organization. It just grows back. It is actually time to cut the head off the snake. Enough of the venom in this organization that has just led to nonsense over the years.  The Bulls owner needs to identify the major problem under his nose and flush it into Lake Michigan. Let those Japanese Carp feed on the stench these two have caused. These carp eat anything but this stench might be too much for even them to swallow.  The Bulls will never get back to the promised land unless they go into another direction with someone else running things.

 

THE SUNDAY SLATE (DECEMBER 1,2018)

THE MATCH UP

BRONCOS AT BENGALS

Broncos are rolling right now. Andy Dalton is out for the Bengals. The Bengal defense these last few weeks can’t stop anyone.

OUR WINNER: BRONCOS

RAMS AT LIONS

Lions are tougher at home. Muslim beard has been able to beat some great teams this season. Are the Packers and the Patriots great teams? After the coin flip game is over, Rams win big as they are seeing Red since Saints loss on Thursday night.

CARDINALS AT PACKERS

Click your heels three times, Aaron Rodgers. Because there is no place like home. The Packers can not win on the road and the Cardinals give them an easy home win as their playoff hopes remain on life support.

OUR PICK: PACKERS

BILLS AT DOLPHINS

This might be the game with the two worst groups of receivers in the entire league. Maybe the quarterbacks could just see who’s faster on the 40 yard dash to determine points. I like the Bills defense in this one. Bills are on a small roll. I think the way they beat the Jaguars last week, carries over.

OUR PICK: BILLS

RAVENS AT FALCONS

The Ravens all of sudden are playing very well with Lamar Jackson behind center. Meanwhile the Falcons been riding the struggle bus. This game looks easy to pick on paper. I would say Ravens. I think the tables turn in this one. Falcons fly differently at home. The rookie regresses a little in this one for the Ravens.

OUR PICK: FALCONS

BEARS AT GIANTS

The NFL wants no defense. The Bears bring the defense to New York with their back-up quarterback and get it done in the “Big Apple.” It will be a close one though. The Giants have not seen a good defense in awhile. My prediction, an Eli Pick six wins it for the Bears. I know that is an obvious prediction when it comes to the Giants quarterback.

OUR WINNER: BEARS

PANTHERS AT BUCCANEERS

This game features the two quarterbacks I hate the most in the entire league. The talent they both have. It’s all about them and not team. They both crumble when they are in the spotlight. Panthers at least have a defense. They have gone to the wire the last two weeks and came away with losses. Panthers feed off bottom of the league types of teams. It’s Cam Newton’s way of winning.

OUR PICK:  PANTHERS

COLTS AT JAGUARS

Jaguars’ defense is in disarray. Jaguars have bad coaching. My key to this game is the Colts’ Andrew Luck versus whoever the Jags march out their behind center. Tom Coughlin, the President of Jag Bag operations, says his team plays stupidly. I agree. No Fournette in this one as he is suspended.

OUR PICK: COLTS

BROWNS AT TEXANS

This could be a very exciting game. Browns have done well since they fired Hue. The Texans have been rolling as it’s been 8 straight. This should be a close well-fought game. My key to this game comes down to the Texan defense. They love close games. The big stars on that unit rise up at the end of this contest and make the key stop against the Browns offense to win their 9th straight.

OUR PICK:TEXANS

JETS AT TITANS

Forest Gump would say, “Life is like a box of chocolates.” You do not know what you will get. This is that type of game. I could see a slumbering Titan offense. I could see Josh McCown lighting up the scoreboard. Even vice versa. I flipped a coin on this one and the Titans get the nod.

OUR PICK: TITANS

CHIEFS AT RAIDERS

The main conversation that will be talked about in this one will be running back Kareem Hunt. During the off season he starred in a video pushing a lady in a hotel hall way. Then a scrum broke out with a group of people. He even kicked the girl while she was on the ground.  It’s shameful for these running backs getting cut because they like to beat on their girls or kids when they are not on the field. Those stress balls do not work.  Quarterbacks take it out on their dogs. Receivers kill their kid’s hamsters. NFL stands for the National Felony league. BTW…Chiefs win big in this one.

OUR PICK: CHIEFS

VIKINGS AT PATRIOTS

The Vikings, we are still waiting for that game where we can say that’s the team we were expecting. Then Tom Brady and the Evil Empire look like the Death Star is falling apart. It’s just a shell of its former self. I feel a great disturbance in the force. I feel Tom Brady and the Patriots will find a way at home.

OUR PICK: PATRIOTS

49ERS AT SEAHAWKS

Richard Sherman has turned this contest into the Seahawks against himself. Sherman is not facebook friends with Russell Wilson. Will the 12th man, aka the Seattle faithful, boo Sheman’s return?  Sherman needs to get over it. The Legion of Boom is dead, my friend. Life is good in Seattle without you. Thanks for the memories. You chose the 49ers in the off season because you thought they would be better than your former team. Looks like that plan backfired.

OUR PICK: SEAHAWKS

CHARGERS AT STEELERS

Chargers are a team you just do not know what team you will see.  Both the Steelers and the Chargers have a Bronco loss in common of late. The Steelers are a different puppy at home. Plus this is a big prime time game. It will be a close one. Big Ben and the Steelers prevail at the end of this one.

OUR PICK: STEELERS

REDSKINS AT EAGLES

Who the hell gives a crap about these two teams? Both have self-destructed this year. Love Colt McCoy. He does not have any receivers to throw to. He’s running for his life, back there. This will be a close game. I can see Carson Wendtz making a key play in this one. Eagles will find a way to finally win two games in a row.

OUR PICK: EAGLES

 

 

THURSDAY NIGHT (NOVEMBER 29,2018)

THE MATCH UP

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (10-1) AT DALLAS COWBOYS (6-5)

I’ve been reading some experts think tonight’s game is going to be a Cowboy upset. Cowboys are playing better.  Cowboys are rested from playing last Thursday on Thanksgiving. Amari Cooper is coming off a great game. Ezekiel Elliot is running the ball better. The quarterback has a pulse all of a sudden. The defense has played well. They have even won on the road. Is this the complete recipe to beat the Saints in a prime time game on Thursday night?

Let me wake up these experts that are dreaming and drinking the Cowboy kool-aid. They beat the Redskins’ back up quarterback on Thanksgiving. I was not impressed that it was a dominating performance by America’s team. Then they just edge the Falcons who suddenly are playing horrible. Then they beat their archrival, the Eagles, by a touchdown. What happened against the Titans at home on Monday night a few weeks back? Plus the Cowboys play in the worst division in football.

The Saints are well rested as they played last Thursday as well. The Saints took out the Falcons with ease. They destroyed the Eagles and beat them like they owed the Saints’ players money. They have won ten straight. Brees is a hall of fame quarterback and has a number of weapons to throw to. Many of them not even household names.  They have a head coach that is a mastermind, not like the one on the Dallas side line who gets questioned by his boss through the media. The running game, they have a two headed monster. Plus their defense has played well.

It’s a no-brainer in this contest. Have to go with WHODAT!!! I can truly say I have not been bitten by a zombie today. However I have not stayed in a Holiday Inn Express EVER. If it makes you feel better I have not arrived home in the back of a turnip truck either.  However I can say that I fainted on an altar when I was younger serving as an altar boy. No worries. I’m feeling much better. My head took most of the blunt hit against the marble.

OUR WINNER: SAINTS

 

DA BEARS are like the Jeffersons and are moving on up to deluxe apartments in the sky. Are The Chargers pretenders? It might not be the end of the world, but we have some interesting tidbits before the zombie apocalypse. WEEK 12!!! Hang on to your hat. You might see some butt crack.

#1. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS 10-1 (SAME)  On Thanksgiving Night I asked who the hell are these guys? My family of football experts like myself shrugged their shoulders. Dan Arnold, Austin Carr Keith Kirkwood, and Tommy Lee Lewis. All these guys caught a touchdown pass from Drew Brees. Tommy Lee Lewis went to NIU,  one of the announcers told us that. Even our NIU alum did not know who he was. We were very happy for him since he went to one of our state schools we like. Some of these guys were undrafted. In a primetime game they are helping the Saints march on in an unforgettable regular season they are having. Drew Brees could easily cement MVP honors being able to work these unknowns who are replacements for the injured. Then they destroyed the Eagles last week. Then on a short week what the Saints defense did to a good Falcon offense on Thanks giving night. I think this team right now is my favorite to win the Superbowl. They are playing well on both sides of the ball and special teams. They have everything covered with no weaknesses like most of the teams  have.

#2. LA RAMS 10-1 (SAME) You wonder what happened to the Rams defense on that Monday Night game. However you’re playing the Chiefs offense. If you can hold them to under 55 points you have a shot to beat them as the gameplan said all week. Maybe the Rams borrowed a play from the movie Speed.

Stay above 50 or the team will explode and Chiefs will come away with the win. It worked for the Rams as they stay above 50 scoring 54. If this was the Superbowl preview what would the over be set up as in that contest?

#3.KANSAS CITY CHIEFS 9-2 (SAME) Chiefs put up over 50 points and come away with the loss to the Rams in one of the most epic regular season games of all-time. Still have this team high up on the charts because they are still the best in the AFC. Only thing I worry about is this team after they lose a game. Last few years after winning streaks, one loss has sent them into a downward spiral. They rebounded nicely after the Patriots loss weeks ago. I think they are a different animal nowadays, that the Monday night loss will not affect them. After bye week, business as usual. Feel sorry for the team they square up against.

#4.NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS 7-3 (UP ONE SPOT) Patriots were on a bye week but I moved them up a spot because of what happened to those Chargers who had the number 4 spot briefly. The Patriots stunned in Nashville last time they played as the Ewoks are still moonshining it up from that epic battle they won against the Evil Empire. Now the Patriots will tune up against the Jets to get back on track.

The Jets will be running their preventative defense against the Evil Empire this weekend.  The defense will consist of GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE..The retreat is always used in most playbooks across the NFL.

#5.PITTSBURGH STEELERS 7-2-1 (UP ONE SPOT)  The Steelers I had written off earlier in the year. I even had the locals going to Mike Tomlin’s house and dragging him out of his home with torches and pitch forks. I think with the distraction of Leveon Bell’s hold out finally put to bed as he will miss the entire season, it is a good thing. The Terminator is doing well replacing him. Now Steelers do not have to waste time answering the same questions over and over. The Steelers can focus on piling up wins and hopefully are putting some ideas off to the side on how to beat the Patriots for once. The Chiefs look scarier than the Empire. Home field throughout the playoffs is the big key to strive for as the Steelers look totally different on the road than home.

#6.CHICAGO BEARS 8-3 (UP THREE SPOTS) The NFL is easy to figure out some of the top teams. You can then group the bad teams. Most of the teams are in a soggy holding pattern. Definitely watered down. Bears are definitely a team on the rise. I keep thinking the Bears need to beat somebody. They took down the Vikings. They beat the Lions on Thanksgiving with their back up quarterback. Now I can finally say the Bears have officially arrived in top status of the NFL. The defense is scary. The offense can beat you so many ways. They have lots of depth on their roster. I have to see more, I’m not crowning these guys Superbowl champions. However to me they have a Superbowl defense. You notice many of these top teams lack a great defense. They say pitching and defense win baseball games. A great goalie can stymie teams in the playoffs in hockey. NBA just sucks. Remember that great Denver defense not too long ago in the Superbowl. Perhaps you can credit the Legion of Boom with the Seattle Superbowl win as well.  DA BEARS will be heard a lot the rest of the way.

#7.HOUSTON TEXANS 7-3 (SAME) Texans have now won 7 games in a row. To go on the road and beat a tricky Washington team is a hard thing to do. This team is winning close games which stands out to me. The Texans will be in some big dog fights the rest of the way in their own division as teams are on the rise. It is not a cake walk any longer with cream puffs. Plus playoff games are always going to be dog fights. Certain teams prevail in close games. They know they will find a way. That and the team is in good health, at this time of the season that’s huge going further.

#8.LA CHARGERS 7-3 (DOWN FOUR SPOTS)  The Chargers are a team that baffles me. You think they are over the hump and you keep thinking they are better than what they are. Wins pile up and then they lay a turd on the field against a Denver team. Then I think when the hell was the last time the Chargers won a playoff game?

To sum up the Chargers they are the boy who cried wolf. Fool me once. Fool me twice. But the third time we know you are a pretender.

#9.MINNESOTA VIKINGS 5-4-1 (DOWN ONE SPOT) Losing to the Bears and even surrendering the division to them, the Vikings find themselves on the bubble. Sure they play the Bears one more time. They have 6 games left on their schedule to make a run at it. I feel like they will not win the Central due to the Bears. However the Vikings are still a good team to land a wild card spot in the NFC. Their offensive line worries me.  Is Kirk Cousins just a fantasy football quarterback ? Get you numbers for all the games.  However losses keep piling up. If that is the case, that whole deal in the off season with him is going to look like a Jay Cutler deal. Now that is hitting below the belt.

#10. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS 5-5 (UP 3 SPOTS) Maybe moving Seattle up a few spots will jinx them and send them down the big slide in the game of chutes and ladders. They won a big game last week over the Packers. This week they could really start cementing their wild card position knocking off the Panthers. They will not win their division as Rams wrapped that up in week two. If you control the tie breakers with teams fighting you for the Wild card, it will be a SNEAKY PETE year for the guys up in the Northwest.

#11.GREEN BAY PACKERS 4-5-1 (DOWN ONE SPOT) Sick of saying or even thinking Aaron Rodgers is going to win this week, then rattle off a six game winning streak. This Sunday night its do or die for the Cheeseheads. Lose to Vikings and sorry sir you are officially  cheese whiz. This week even Aaron Rodgers’ brother came out and said he’s a turd. Not his play on the field, but just in life. Aaron probably wants his coach McCarthy axed. Missing the playoffs will only make him happy. Plus I think he’d rather cuddle with the State Farm agent then his own agent before even a naked Danica even undresses. Poor Clay Matthews never stood a chance.

#12. DALLAS COWBOYS 6-5 (UP SIX SPOTS) Only in the NFL, the Cowboys rise up from the dead like they do. They are like Jason from the Friday the 13th movies.You think they are dead. You make fun of them. You scratch your head with the trade they made with Oakland. Then all of a sudden the Cowboys win three in a row. They are on top of their division. They even come out with another movie in Jason takes Manhattan.

In this one, Bernie from Weekend at Bernies stays alive as he is held up in TGI Fridays which is Jason’s favorite eatery. Nothing like having a cross over with two classic movies. Wait until Otis hears this! He will love it.

#13. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 5-5 (UP SEVEN SPOTS) I think it is time to say the Indianapolis Colts are for real. They have quietly won 4 in a row. Andrew Luck has been magnificent all year. The Colts defense has made some great plays throughout this season. They should win five in a row playing the Dolphins this week. On Monday Night, the Titans and Texans play each other and one will lose. With a win this weekend your team will even look better next week in the power rankings with all this playing out.

#14. BALTIMORE RAVENS 5-5 (UP THREE SPOTS) Flacco’s worst nightmare.

Rambo drew first blood but these days the women are the worst nightmares . Men, did we not know this? Or is society sneaking up on us. Why is Flacco in the fetal position sucking his thumb in the corner of that room? Oh I forgot Lamar Jackson won his first start last week.

#15.TENNESSEE TITANS 5-5 (DOWN ONE SPOT) The Titans suddenly come alive. They take down the Evil Empire. Then they lay a big juicy turd in the middle of the field.

Even Terrell Owens had to check it out. He was jealous and he dropped his pants to try to outdo the Titans. Did not happen, Titans laid the bigger turd last weekend.

#16. CINCINNATI BENGALS 5-5 (DOWN FIVE  SPOTS)    The Bengals brass should start telling their players Marvin Lewis job is still on the line. The Bengals find themselves in a big funk. They hired back Hue Jackson who was recently fired by the Cleveland Browns. No team will be scared of that as the Browns have already won since Hue got his pink slip. The ultimate humiliation will be if the Browns beat you this weekend.

#17. CAROLINA PANTHERS 5-4  (DOWN ONE SPOT) Panthers were upset by the Lions last week. They still have not gotten a signature type of win against a winning squad. However they find themselves in the thick of things. If the playoffs started today they are in. They need to step up their game or like a snap of a finger this will suddenly be taken from them. Seattle in the same boat with the same record could derail the Panthers. Next week the Seahawks will be penciled in while the Panthers will be still dust busting the crumbs of the field left by their cookie quarterback.

#18.CLEVELAND BROWNS  3-6-1 (UP THREE SPOTS) Only in the NFL you can have a bye week and the team moves up in the power rankings three spots. This weekend Cleveland can take down their old coach who was fired and now went back to the Bengals where he came from. Brown already won a game since the firing. If they win this week against the Bengals, now you might have a case for the finger pointing. However, if the Browns continue to win it will be hard to hire McCarthy from the Packers. Seems like he is doing his part in helping the Packers fall deep into the abyss. The Browns need the substitute  teacher, perhaps win this week, so Browns ownership can say they fired their scapegoat. Then they can go back to their Charlie Brown ways and get the coach they really want in the off season. Who would have thought the NFL is this catty?

#19. ATLANTA FALCONS 4-7  (DOWN 4 SPOTS) The injuries on defense and inability to cash in on touchdowns in the red zone, killed the Falcons this season. Thanksgiving they had multiple mishaps. It seem like they wore themselves off after a 1-4 start to get back to the 500 mark. Since then the dirty birds have been found on the highway of life dead.

The Falcons officially pronounced DOA.

#20.WASHINGTON REDSKINS 6-4 (DOWN 8 SPOTS) Without Alex Smith this team will most likely free fall. I do like Colt McCoy as a back up. He had some moments on Thanksgiving. Perhaps he was knocking off the rust with the mistakes he made. He is a Gunslinger, so he will make mistakes. Anything can happen in the crappy division the Redskins are in. I don’t think the Skins line will hold up. They have two tight ends and no receivers on that team. One tight end is out dated. Speaking of out dated the running back is too. Spanky Peterson has had some good games this year. Way better than last season. This guy will not get you over the hump, to get in the playoffs. Dallas which is another struggle bus, has more talent on both sides of the ball, compare to the skins. Even Philadelphia, who I think is done. However they have more talent than the Skins.

#21.DETROIT LIONS 4-7 (UP ONE SPOT) We give the Lions one spot for knocking off the Carolina Panthers last Sunday. Then they go home and play on Thanksgiving and get beat by the Bears with their second string quarterback. It probably ends their season of any playoff hopes. Then to make things worse for fans in Michigan. The Wolverines lose to Ohio State, 62-39 knocking them out of the top four and beyond. Oh the Humanity to be loving your teams living in Michigan.

#22.DENVER BRONCOS 4-6 (UP ONE SPOT) Broncos come away with an upset after their bye week. Too bad it does not mean a thing.The Chargers love to lose games to weaker opponents. They are your typical masochists.

Chargers can get away with it. They love the pain and have no fan base. What’s the Broncos excuse ?

#23.MIAMI DOLPHINS 5-5 (UP ONE SPOT) Dolphins coming off a bye week. They are 5-5 and are teetering in the playoff mix. Just in time for their savior Ryan Tannehill to lead the Fins to the promise land. The Fins thought Jay Cutler was going to be their savior . We do know Saviors from down south have not had a good track record lately.

I predict this Dolphins team will just turn into the regular fish fry at your local watering hole on Friday nights.

#24.PHILADELPHIA EAGLES 4-6 (DOWN 5 SPOTS)  PHILLY, PHILLY…. Perhaps the Eagles have indulged in the mead in their off season celebrations.

The pit of misery has hit its full capacity with the whole Eagles roster.

 

#25.NEW YORK GIANTS 3-7 (UP 2 SPOTS) Giants have suddenly have won two games in a row. The team is in the worst division in football. Everyone is lumped up like cattle getting ready to be slaughtered.

They play the Eagles this week. They are on skid row. Redskins stock has fallen as their starting quarterback is out for the year. Dallas Cowboys are wishy washy. Can Odell Beckham Jr. actually be right with his prediction that the team is going to make the playoffs? Anything can happen in the NFL.

#26. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS 3-7 (DOWN ONE SPOT) Every week the same thing as the only way to fix the problem is keep changing the quarterback. It’s between the same two guys  they keep flip flopping. Do they have another quarterback on the roster? This team should be gutted out completely. Hire someone from the Home and Garden channel so we can watch it step by step as this hovel is transformed. The Buccaneers are definitely hoarders. Watch episode one as they rip out the 1970’s decor like Mr. Furley’s FitzMagic couch. Then the Winston stereo that the music has gone to static. Maybe they can make it write off blame it on a hurricane.

#27.JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS 3-7 (DOWN ONE SPOT) In a division where every team except your own is on the rise with huge potential. Last year you made huge strides and now the Jaguars are  lower than pond scum. The team did nothing about their glaring weaknesses in the off season. They just let things ride on the same number and it blew up in their faces. Even with running back Fournette back from injury, this team has played another good game, but came up short. Made too many mistakes and many teams can take advantage of that if you’re going to give them early XMAS gifts. This Christmas season the Jags will have to air out their grievances around the Festivus tree.

Sit around the mighty shiny pole during which the team could fix their family disfunction. They can wrestle each other. Even have tickle fights. Jerry Springer is the second option if the pole does not work in fixing these JAG BAGS.. Asking Santa for a quarterback will also help. But they have been so bad, coal is probably what these cats will get in their stockings.

#28. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS 2-8 (SAME) The 49ers were on their bye week and I have them in the same position after their over time loss on Monday night the last time they played. Only reason to watch 49er football is to see Nick Mullens play. It’s been two good games so far for the undrafted free agent. He’s 1-1 with a really good chance to get the 49ers another win this weekend against a horrible Buccaneer team. Always good to carry two good quarterbacks on your roster as 49ers were wowed last year by Jimmy Garoppolo. The question… Nick Mullen for real? Could Nick Mullens pass up Jimmy on the depth chart?  Or with a league so desperate for a man to lead their team behind center would it just be better to cash in, just in case this is a fluke.  One thing is he has not played a very good defense yet.

#29. BUFFALO BILLS 3-7 (SAME) Bills won big versus the Jets and went into hiding on their bye week. The Bills should be like George Costanza and leave the room on a high note. The season is over, we won, and we are done. Build on that for the off season. Now the question is who will start at quarterback for the Bills when they play this weekend. We are delighted to say it will not be Nathan Peterman.  Peterman was actually trying out for the Lions.

Looks like the rookie Josh Allen could be back. You want to give the rookie lots of playing time to see what you got going on for your future. It’s hard not to play Matt Barkley based on his performance last time out. Much sunnier days in Buffalo even if it’s snowing, the quarterback situation suddenly improved which will put an extra pep in your step to get your snow suit on in the morning to get to work.

#30. NEW YORK JETS 3-7 (UP 1 SPOT) Since the Raiders won last week we had to move the Jets up one spot. The Jets did not do anything stupid last week on the bye week. The Jets are just in time to help the Evil Empire get back on track this Sunday.

I picture the Jets are lined up taking an ass kicking from the Patriots. Like joining the Patriot Delta Ki Luke and Kappa. The Jets bend over, and Brady thumps them with a 4×4 piece of wood or some kind of cricket paddle. As Brady and the empire swing these paddles it relights the fire in their eyes as they plot to take back the AFC from the Rebel alliance. Jets are just another planet in the way of progress. As they scream, “Thank you may I have another one!”

#31.OAKLAND RAIDERS 2-8 (UP 1 SPOT) Jon Gruden’s ultimate plan to get the number one draft pick in the NFL was hurt last week. Maybe that was why Gruden and Derrick Carr were having a heated discussion on the sidelines. Can’t Derrick Carr tow the company line? Tank the season and then we can find your replacement next April. If you like the sound of that, can you do me a solid and train your replacement? Is that asking too much? JUST WIN BABY !!!

#32.  ARIZONA CARDINALS 2-8 (DOWN TWO SPOTS) When you lose to the Raiders in my book you should be kicked out of the league. How would you like to be in Larry Fitzgerald’s shoes to come back to play with a team like this? One of the best receivers of all-time could be helping multiple playoff teams but he stays during a rebuild that might take a very long time. It would suck to be an Arizona sports fans on the professional level. Cardinals are at rock bottom. The Suns I believe still have a team. The Diamondbacks are talking about trading their assets to start rebuilding. It’s either hug a cactus or watch college sports. Herm Edwards has the Sun Devils heading to a bowl game. Which will bring these Sun Devils to your television screen.

They say the desert is really hot!!!  Do you agree?

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!!       THURSDAY NOVEMBER 22, 2018

THREE GAMES ON THE THURSDAY SLATE

FIRST MATCH -UP

BEARS AT LIONS

We know the Lions overall play better on Turkey Day as they are one of the main staple teams on this day. Both teams  coming off wins. Two weeks both teams met and Bears won at home as the defense of the Bears was the ringmaster who tamed the kittens from Detroit. Chase Daniel has been called into duty for this one. Mitch Trubisky can’t go on a short week with shoulder injury.  We liked the Bears in this one even with the change at quarterback. Bears defense is the key to this victory and they are that good to stop the Lions and Statford for the second time in three weeks. Plus Chase Daniel knows this offense in his sleep. He dreams about this offense. Watch him even run it better than Mitch Trubisky. Plus do we want to see the Coach for the Lions, Matt Patricia, eating a turkey leg with that grizzly Muslim beard? Probably has turkey skin still stuck in there from last year’s turkey.

OUR PICK:BEARS

REDSKINS AT COWBOYS

Sometimes it takes another Cowboy to beat a Cowboy. With Alex Smith out, the Washington Redskins are relying on ole Colt McCoy and his six shooter. He’s a Texan, maybe he grew up a Houston Oiler fan, but he’s coming in blasting like Yosemite Sam.

The Cowboys will be the dirty Varmints.  Then you have the Cowboys, a team from which you have no clue what you will see each week. Last Week they won over the Falcons. Weeks ago they looked lost against the Titans. The Cowboys, like the Lions, play well on Thanksgiving. Another prime time game for the Cowboys which is the norm because it’s all the time. Both these teams play in an awful division where all the teams suck. The Skins lead this sorry arse division. Who knows, maybe the Giants could crawl all the way back and win it. The Eagles are still hung over from the Superbowl. Like the factory worker living off his own high school highlights. Al Bundy is a perfect example. I see a close game since they are a big rival. The Redskins defense will just do enough to hold Elliot from breaking this thing open into his own highlight reel on turkey day. Spanky Peterson will get a couple extra whacks with the belt in warmups that will fire him up. The key stat is, last time the Skins played Dallas on Thanksgiving, Skins won with RG-III. Colt McCoy came into that game to seal the deal. I can see Colt McCoy being able to do some things  Alex Smith could not and this is why the Skins win this on the road.

OUR PICK:REDSKINS

FALCONS AT SAINTS

RIP ATLANTA FALCONS… Today Drew Brees will be the reaper to the end of your season. The Falcons are now 4-6. They looked good a few weeks back when they evened their record up at 4-4. It took all their mite and fight to crawl their way back to 500. Cant see the Falcons on short week traveling to the best team in the leagues home and winning today. With the loss they will be 4-7. To make the playoffs they would need to win all five games remaining to go 9-7. If 9-7, record will work as a wild card record. Too many teams jumbled up as well. Brees and the Saints march all over the dirty birds at home.

OUR PICK: SAINTS