What in the double hockey sticks is going on in Chicago? Today the Chicago Blackhawks fired Joel Quenneville. The man that led the Blackhawks to three Stanley Cups, all of a sudden gone after going 6-6-3 this season. Three cups in six seasons as he coached a dynasty in the hockey world that is hard to do with the salary cap rules in this era. He is the second winningest coach in NHL history. He did not get a chance to be the winningest coach in Blackhawks history as he was shown the door along with some of the assistant coaches today. He settles for being the second winningest coach in after ten full seasons and the dozen games this season in his 11th year. He only missed one year not making the playoffs. Only twice in his long tenured career. Why was a legend fired?

The Blackhawks have been down this road. The front office was evaluating Denis Savard when he was coaching, and they pulled the trigger to replace him with Joe Quenneville who was in-house at the time. The front office has probably been evaluating Joel Quenneville for some time now. The first thing that jumps to my mind is missing the playoffs last season. You could say the five game losing streak the team is on, after a pretty good start to the season. It’s going to be a few things especially to justify getting rid of a guy with the amazing resume that the coach has. The last time the Blackhawks made the playoffs was the year Nashville Predators swept them out in round one. That series the team looked very bad and very old at the same time. The last time the Blackhawks won a playoff series goes back to 2015.

This goes much deeper then the last couple of seasons. I believe the three cups Joel Quenneville has won have kept him in Chicago longer. If it was only two or just the one, I think he would have been shown the door years ago. It comes down to a different philosophy than GM Stan Bowman. The GM of the Blackhawks obviously thinks the roster they have now can get it done. Joel Quenneville will play veterans over younger guys until they play his style. Players are always in Quenneville’s dog house. Some don’t get out for long periods of time. It always goes back to the Coach’s way of doing things, especially his style of play. The GM Stan Bowman disagrees and has a totally different philosophy.  I imagine both have  been butting heads for years, especially if Bowman signs a free agent or makes a trade with some team. Bowman thinks that player can help the team. The player hardly sees any ice time.

The Blackhawks hired Jeremy Colliton who will be the 38th coach in franchise history. He comes from the Blackhawks minor league affiliate, the Rockford IceHogs. This is his second season with the IceHogs. The first season he went 40-26-4-4 and got the team deep into the AHL playoffs, during which they knocked out the Chicago Wolves. Before that he was overseas coaching a team in Sweden. Jeremy will also be the youngest head coach in the entire NHL as he is only 33 years old. He is the same age as Brent Seabrook. He was actually drafted in the same year as Brent Seabrook. Jeremy Colliton last played for the Islanders in  2011. He only played in 57 games in five seasons in New York. He will be younger then a few of his players in his first head coaching job in the NHL.

It seems like a trend in all sports… out with the old and in with the new. Everybody wants the young guy with analytics and some fresh ideas.  The Blackhawks are thinking the team needs a new voice to listen to with new ideas. Stan Bowman and the rest of the organization feel confident this young cat will come in and inject his new ideas into this team. The new voice will provide a spark to Stan Bowman’s roster where they can get back to the playoffs and still win, now, instead of a complete overhaul.

Last time they did the coaching change, the team was young and filled with talent. This team has too many aging superstars making a lot of money that is handcuffing the salary cap.  You have your star goalie who is coming off a season where he missed most of it from concussions. Your aging defense is slow as molasses and will have a hard time keeping up with young and fast skaters. Patrick Cane is still playing well. Jonathan Toews is doing good this season but was MIA last year. Brandon Sadd just got out of the dog house. He has not been like the same guy they had the year they traded him away.  The rest of the cast have one goal each in their stat lines.

It’s another chapter in Chicago history where Coaches get too big. GM’S feel small. The relationship that worked at one point has become strained. This happened with Ozzie Guillen and Kenny Williams after the White Sox won it. Mike Ditka was chased out of town by the Bears. It will happen to Joe Maddon and the Cubs. Phil Jackson left the Bulls because things were escalating to a level higher than any of the colors on the terrorist alert system. I do not think the Blackhawks roster is at a championship level. Possible playoff berth and one and done from any coach. It’s a roster with too many holes. If it was not this year, it would have been next season. Joel Quenneville would have suffered the same fate he did today. I think it is hard to find great coaches. The kid from Rockford is destined to  have a similar career to Tim Floyd, when he replaced Phil Jackson that first season. I think GMs in this town need to be held accountable. All the talent the Hawks  had traded away over the years. I know you can not pay everyone. Seems like Pittsburgh Penguins have no problems staying afloat. You got rid of many young guys that could be helping you stay afloat right now, perhaps made you better. You held on to some of the wrong guys you have overpaid. Just because your father is a mentor to the organization, should not give Stan Bowman a job to hold on to like the Pope. Joe Quenneville will resurface. He will get the last laugh. He will also be missed. Definitely if Chicago had a Mount Rushmore for coaches, Q is on that mountain.

 

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 4, 2018

MATCH UP                                                                           OUR WINNER

JETS AT DOLPHINS                                                          DOLPHINS

BUCCANEERS AT PANTHERS                                    PANTHERS

STEELERS AT RAVENS                                                     STEELERS

BEARS AT BILLS                                                                    BEARS

CHIEFS AT BROWNS                                                          CHIEFS

FALCONS AT REDSKINS                                                  FALCONS

LIONS AT VIKINGS                                                              VIKINGS

TEXANS AT BRONCOS                                                     TEXANS

CHARGERS AT SEAHAWKS                                           CHARGERS

RAMS AT SAINTS                                                                     SAINTS

PACKERS AT PATRIOTS                                                    PATRIOTS

TITANS AT COWBOYS                                                      COWBOYS

Another version of the Wild Shamrock power rankings coming at you. We promise this week no women or children were hurt. However we did make fun of Big Ego football stars as we always do. Nate Peterman is the next Joe Montana. Is he still in the league? What water is the Buffalo Bills coaching staff drinking? We do love kickers.

#1. LA.RAMS 8-0 (SAME) When you’re doing well, it seems like you get many breaks while your team is rolling. Last week the Rams found themselves playing the Packers in a close game. It was a home game for them but it seems like they were on the road as Cheeseheads invaded the stadium. Who was looking after all the cows in Wisconsin, is my question. With two minutes left after the Rams took the lead the Packers received a kickoff. Ty Montgomery was told not to take the ball out, just kneel down like Eric Reid for a touch back. Make sense because Aaron Rodgers runs a two minute offense like a well oiled machine.  Ty went rogue. Took the ball out of the end zone and tried to create something. Rams forced a fumble, got the ball, and sealed the deal. You can say that was a lucky break. You can say they made things happen. A win is a win. Put it in the books now because the next chapter is another tough game this week. Could be the NFC championship previewing a game with the Saints.

#2.NEW ORLEANS SAINTS 6-1 (SAME) Saints have not been lighting up the score board with their high octane offense. The last two weeks they have played some great defenses.  The result has been the same with wins over the Ravens. They got revenge over the Vikings who got that one lucky play at the end of the game in the playoffs to bounce them. The team is finding the right amount of points to win. The defense is doing well in stopping the opponent when the offense is not putting 40 burgers each week. This Sunday big match up with the Rams. Could be a preview of the NFC championship game as both teams are playing well. You know the the Dolphins of the 70’s will want to see the undefeated Rams lose so they can pop the corks off their champagne. The Saints are at home and have a good shot knocking the last of the unbeatens.

#3. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS 6-2  (SAME) Not impressed with the Evil Empire.  They are winning though. Not convinced they are the dark side of old. It took a few special team touchdowns to beat the up and coming Bears. Then Buffalo gave them a game last week. It took the Patriots until the fourth quarter to get past their divisional rival who has more problems then your X girlfriend. Gronk seems like an old lethargic turd who needs to be put down soon. Brady gets a rush and his passes sail away from receivers. The defense has not done anything inspiring to say this team will have an easy pass to the Superbowl. They will win the division they play in because every team is a sad junior varsity team with their gym teacher coaching.

#4. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS 7-1 (SAME) The Chiefs lost the one game against the Evil Empire who came back and won it close to the end of regulation. Ever since, they keep on rolling. Broncos made last week a closer game towards the end, but the Chiefs held on. Think we can say Mahomes is for real. We can also say they have the best offense in the AFC. We do not know if they are a sure thing to get to the Superbowl. The defense is not the greatest, but has played better. Many worse defenses in the league besides what the Chiefs have. Boston Red sox won this year’s World Series with their big bat offense.  The way things are going this season, what defense can actually stop this team? You definitely need a team with an offense to keep up with what they bring to the table every week.  It will be good to see Wally the Walrus back in the big game.

#5.LA.CHARGERS 5-2 (SAME) The Chargers had a bye last week, but does anybody in LA know? If a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound? Chargers we know are the team like the Clippers in LA. The second fiddle. This is a team that is quietly winning some games. This is a team that has some talent. The defense is waiting for Joey Bosa to return. The bye week for them probably to get their star defender back on the field.  Phillip Rivers probably worked on having another kid in the bedroom. All his kids were made on the team’s bye week. Rivers is a company guy. Not on Chargers time. Overall we will see what the Chargers can do in their second half. Most of the times the team will pack it in late in the season by shooting themselves in the foot in a close tight ball game.

#6.HOUSTON TEXANS 5-3 (UP 1 SPOT) Texans have won 5 in a row. They opened up 0-3 to start the season. Deshaun Watson is starting to play like he did last year. They lost one of their great receivers for the season.  Will Fuller is hard to replace. However they went out and got Demaryious Thomas from Denver. Which should help. The Texans always get derailed by the injury bug. I’m sure they are knocking on wood as Watt and Clowney on defense are still on the field midway through the season.  If they stay healthy the Texans can win their crappy division. They could be a threat in the playoffs if everyone is still standing after the regular season.

#7.PITTSBURGH STEELERS 4-2-1 (UP 1 SPOT) Before the bye week, the Steelers got things turned around. Then they took care of business last week against the Browns who they tied in the opening game. They are winning without their star running, LeVeon Bell. Who needs the disgruntled hold out when you have the terminator in the back field?

Jmaes Conner has been awesome. If I was the Steelers I would forget about LeVeon Bell. He would screw up this team when they are building something the last few weeks. They are the team in the past that can handle distractions big or small. The Terminator will lead you to the playoffs and beyond. Trade bell in the off season as he’s at home watching Jude Judy and Cops. Shows he might guest star on when his NFL career comes to a halt.

#8.MINNESOTA VIKINGS 4-3-1 (DOWN 2 SPOTS) It seems like we are still waiting on the Vikings to actually show us something. Still waiting on that defense to be one of the best in the league. We are half way through the season and Vikings have not faired too well against some of the elite teams in the league. They are in a division that is up for grabs. They do not have an easy road like they did last year with Rogers out and the Bears were the Bad News Bears. While the Lions were the Lions. They will have to rely on winning against their division foes to get to the playoffs. This could be a team that is on the fast slide to the bottom just above the Lions in the NFL version of Chutes and Ladders.

#9.WASHINGTON REDSKINS 5-2 (UP 1 SPOT) In a division that used to be one of the strongest every year, the Redskins find themselves in first place. They have a new look on offense. It has been the defense that has really stood out as their unit has been stopping teams while the offense just does enough to win the game. Cowboys at home are tough. The Eagles could get on a roll at anytime. The Giants have been flushed down the toilet after week one. If they continue to play their game the Redskins could be back in the playoffs with a division title, the only road there.

#10.CINCINNATI BENGALS 5-3 (UP  1 SPOT) After losing two straight, one was a heart breaker to the Steelers at the end of the regulation. The Bengals finally got back to their winning ways. Teams will stumble at times during the season. You can’t count the Bengals out as they do have a talented offense and a good defense. I expect them to make the playoffs as a wild card or even winning their division.

#11.CAROLINA PANTHERS 5-2 (UP 1 SPOT) Panthers had the come back win against the Eagles. Then they beat upon the Ravens last week as they have won two games in a row and have looked good doing it. This week with an easier match up against the Buccaneers they could win three in a row and really make some noise. Are they due for a letdown? Could FitzMagic show his razzle dazzle again? When the Fig Newton head gets too big with his ego, a team like the Buccaneers could pop his head as it deflates like a blimp crashing to the ground.

#12. BALTIMORE RAVENS 4-4 (DOWN 3 SPOTS) I put the Ravens in the top ten. They played horribly last week in a game I thought they would win. I have officially started the Lamar Jackson clock. How many games will it take to end Joe Flacco’s career in Baltimore?  I’m going to say three.

#13.CHICAGO BEARS 4-3 (SAME) Bears are in the same boat as last week. They took care of business against the Jets, a team they should beat up on. They let the Jets linger in that game until they finally put them to sleep late in the second half. They should easily win this week in Buffalo. However we said that when they went to Miami. Bears like to give games away. Just ask the Packers and the Dolphins. Are they done giving? Will they turn into the Grinch and steal everyone’s Christmases? The division is up for grabs. With the win last week, they went from last to first in a snap of the fingers. They’ve got to show me if they are done shooting themselves in the foot. They need to get the Plaxico Burris out of their system.

#14.GREEN BAY PACKERS 3-3-1 (UP 1 SPOT) I moved the Packers up one spot because they played the Rams tough last week and probably should have won the game. This week they made a statement getting rid of a few players. Even the guy that fumbled the ball that cost them the game. This could be a statement by the Packers’ front office. This team could respond from that in a good or even bad way. With Rodgers and a division up for grabs, this could be the week and the point of the season when the Packers catch fire.

#15.PHILADELPHIA EAGLES 4-4 (UP 1 SPOT) Is going to England a a vacation? Perhaps it is. Take it Easy when your opponent goes to the bar and makes a fool out of themselves. You could even say that the Eagles were the classiest team overseas. They did not get arrested.  They took care of business in a game needed to even their record at 4-4. With half of the season left in the division, they play the Superbowl champs, and still  have a very good chance to get back to the playoffs.

#16.ATLANTA FALCONS 3-4  (UP 2 SPOTS) Atlanta moved up two spots because they were on the bye week and they have won two in a row. The defense has been horrible. Hopefully the bye week rested the team up and they can get back some key guys that   were hurt. The offense is one of the best in the league. Only problem is home cooking has been awesome. They now  have road games. They head on the road, next to Washington. Hopefully Trump they do not have to see. Tough division they are in. They need to take down any of their own conference teams and division to turn around their season.

#17.DALLAS COWBOYS  3-4 (SAME) Cowboys coming off the Redskin loss a few weeks back on the road. Before that they killed the Jacksonville Jaguars at home. Now they play at home and added Amari Cooper as a receiver from the Raiders as they took advantage of Gruden’s garage sale.  ACCEPT!!! The Cowboys paid full price with a number one pick. Perhaps Jerry Jones met Jon Gruden in an dark alley and played three card monte to decide Cooper’s  faith. Maybe that was not even the original bet. Maybe Amari Cooper is the player to be named later. Jerry Jones might have lost some of his cheerleaders. Jon Gruden might tell you what he likes about this guy, perhaps meaning gal.  Confused? So am I.

#18. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS  4-3 (UP 3 SPOTS) With the Legion of Boom defense gone.  With the problems with the offensive line fixed. Pete Carol looks like somehow he has figured out the solutions to his roster and has patched the roof of the heavy rain that was coming down on him and Seattle. The Rams are ahead of them in their division by miles. San Francisco and Arizona are below them by a mile. Wild Card is the only solution for this team to make it to the playoffs. Pete Carol’s hugs of inspiration has his team quietly a game over 500. Can they they make a run?

#19.DETROIT LIONS 3-4 (DROP 5 SPOTS) Lions this season have been a very puzzling team and very hard to figure out. They can beat a good team one week and then lose to a middle of the pack team the next week. Then hit rock bottom of the barrel the following week. Then Coach Matt Patricia, who has a  Muslim/ZZ-Top beard which is not kept up and we do not know what’s living in that nest, is telling the reporter to sit up straight.

Then they traded away one of their weapons in Golden Tate. Is this a process still in progress by the new coach in removing the cancer in his thinking and making the team

Can a branch of the Evil Empire like Matt Patricia be successful?

#20. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS 3-4 (DOWN 1 SPOT) Looks like Fitz-Magic is back behind center for the Buccaneers. Took over after Jameis Winston had a bad game last week. Now we may not be able to see the dog bowl this week between two of the biggest dogs in the league, the Fig Newton versus the Uber snatch. I need a Winston cigarette.  We do not know if Fitzpatrick will get red hot again like the way he started the season. However the team or coaching staff seems to like him much better than the gentleman, Mr. Winston. Buccaneers’ defense is still not good. Probably will not get better anytime soon either. This team will continue to free fall.

#21.CLEVELAND BROWNS 2-5-1 (DOWN 1 SPOT) CLEVELAND SUDDENLY IS NOT ROCKING ANYMORE. In desperate times, management fired their head coach and the OC. Rumors from Aaron Rodgers’ pet groomer is the Packers coach could be the new man in Cleveland next season. Mike McCarthy is still coaching the Cheese Doodles but things are getting heated up in Cheesewhiz land. They traded a few guys away for draft picks and are still in the thick of things. It will now be a “wait and see what happens” approach. Imagine the Dawg Pound will have some more bark than growls as Baker Mayfield will have some big games, but he’s going to have to take his lumps as well. Perhaps dealing with somebody else instead of Todd Haley could work some wonders. Cleveland season will teeter and tarter and teeter again.

#22. TENNESSEE TITANS 3-4 (SAME) Last week the Tuxedos did not do anything wrong as we have them in the same position. They had a bye week and had time to reflect on the season. Moonshine and blonde country bombshells with cowboy boots on would have to do the trick. They got some work in as well.

Since not making the two point conversion in London that cost them the game, they’ve been keeping a low profile. But they’ve been pre-gaming for the big Monday Night match up against the Cowboys. Who has the hotter girls? The country girls that drink moonshine in Daisy Dukes or the Cowboy cheerleaders? Now that is a great offensive strategy.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ?

#23.INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 3-5 (UP 1 SPOT) Colts have won two in a row. Two wins scoring 40 points in each game. The Raiders did score 28 points on them. The defense has been up and down, but you have to love seeing Andrew Luck back to his old self.  To keep Luck standing and being able to chuck the ball down field, the Colts repaired the worst offensive line in the league last year. Lesson to teams like the Bills, Raiders and Giants fix the line so the guy behind center can find the open man. Come on people that is Football 101. Colts can make a run to the playoffs. The second half schedule features two against the Jag Bags. The Titans, Dolphins, Giants, Cowboys… Teams you can feast on. Do you remember that game you gave to the Texans? Could have been a tie. Will that come back to haunt the Colts?   Houston should give you a gift next time around since your gift turned into a Texans five game winning streak.

#24.JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS 3-5 (DOWN 1 SPOT) The Jaguars seem not to like their future home in London. Some Jaguars were not getting along with the locals.  Four players ran up $64, 000 bill at a night club that featured circus performers. The four twits then got in to a brawl over the bill. They brought the hood to this fine establishment that features tea and snacks with a little naked entertainment. Maybe the lion tamer needed to crack the whip out to soothe the Jaguar anger since it was circus themed. I picture the Jaguars as the Dino-bots.

GRIMLOCK ANGERED!!! LIKE BARRY CHURCH ANGERED!!

Bortles was dressed in a clown outfit spying on his teammates hoping they still had his back. Maybe he ran up the bill on them. Put a double steak sandwich and a bottle of Flintstones champagne on the Underhill account.

#25.DENVER BRONCOS 3-5  (UP 1 SPOT) Look like Case Keenum had a better game without hearing the Chad Kelly chatter in his ears. Without competition he can wheel and deal now. Got the idea from George Costanza to slip a mickey into Chad Kelly’s drink. Broncos moved up one spot. Most likely because the Dolphins are just bad. Broncos played the Chiefs tough last Sunday, but it’s another loss on their record. Broncos also dealt long time receiver Demaryious Thomas to the Texans. Horse Gums John Elway is probably working on another plan for next season.

#26. MIAMI DOLPHINS 4-5 (DOWN 1 SPOT) The Dolphins looked confused last week on defense. Houston Texans receivers ran free uncovered. It was like shooting ducks in a barrel for Deshaun Watson. Must be nice for the Evil Empire Patriots to live in a division with bottom feeders year after year. Can you trust the health of Ryan Tannehill? Looks like Osweiler could be a decent option for back up quarterback for a few games. Could not trust him to go the distance. Knowing this, one of these guys should be a back up and I think you need to find a future quarterback. Especially if the Bills’ Josh Allen and Sam Darnold develop into something. Then Tom Brady has to call it quits at some point. The hooded man will have a better plan when that day arrives. Dolphins will be scrambling like they are now at putting together a team to compete. Plus that defense needs help. They look like they have no clue whats going on.

#27. NEW YORK JETS 3-5 (SAME) The whole state of New York this season in professional football has been horrible. All three teams in the bottom of the barrel in the power rankings. The Jets are dealing with a slew of injuries. They played the Bears tough in the first half last week. The Bears had some guys out too, but the Jets did not get embarrassed.  The second half of the season will be  the development  of Sam Darnold. Expect a roller coaster of up and downs. Sam Darnold could honestly say he might be the best quarterback in the state of New York.

#28. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS 2-7 (UP 1 SPOT) Do we have a quarterback controversy in San Fran? Is Nick Mullens the Steve Young while the great Jimmy Garoppolo is Joe Montana? Last year the 49ers were struggling down the stretch. Then they traded for Jimmy Garoppolo and they won the rest of their games that season. Then Nick Mullens comes in and he routs the Raiders in his very first game. The Raiders defense is crappy, nothing to write home to mom about. If that is not the case, 49ers seem to plug someone that is not named C.J Beathard and the team does well. Again it’s the Raiders defense. We will see so stay tuned.

#29. ARIZONA CARDINALS 2-6 (UP 2 SPOTS) Cardinals picked a good time to sweep the 49ers. Not sure if they would have beaten the Niners’ new star quarterback. Nick Mullens who debuted on Thursday night. Curious to see how Byron Leftwich will do at offensive coordinator for the Cardinals. He has the offense tailored around the rookie, Josh Rosen.  Byron who had an up and down career behind center. His coaching and stuff he went through could help make Josh Rosen mature and develop faster. The second half of the season is all about the growing of Josh Rosen and perhaps beating the Seahawks the second time around would be the cherry on top of the sundae.

#30.NEW YORK GIANTS (SAME) 1-7 Continuous soap opera going on in Giantland. This time it’s the back up quarterback doing his imitation of Bo and Luke Duke to escape the Police. Obviously did not happen. So much for the idea seeing him get some snaps as the future, still your boy Eli Manning. The Kyle Lauletta era will have to wait until he gets bailed out and after his appearance in court. The bright side is at least he broke the law on a bye week. Gives the Giants time to replace him. Most likely he gets cut and then signs with the Buffalo Bills. They need someone to drive the team forward.

#31.BUFFALO BILLS 2-6 (DOWN 3 SPOTS) I liked the way the defense for the Bills has been playing. The offense is another story. Since NATE PETERMAN again is starting I would drop the Bills to last, but since the Raiders have nothing, Bills are set at number 31. The brain trust in Buffalo I have to bring into question. Terrible offensive line. Never replaced the crazy Richie Incognito. Then they traded away one of their best guys to the Bengals. The quarterbacks have nobody to throw to. The worst thing they keep doing is marching Nate Peterman out there. Are they trying to set a record for most interceptions thrown by a guy.?Colin Kaepernick probably has more brain cells then management and would turn down the job if the Bills came kneeling to him. They should have newly signed veteran Terrelle Pryor be the quarterback and throw to himself as the the receiver, since he has played both positions. It’s got to be better than the Nate Peterman experiment.

#32.OAKLAND RAIDERS 1-7 (SAME) Raiders are in shambles. No defense. Evidence yesterday. A guy named Nick Mullens looked like Joe Montana behind center. WHO YOU ASK? Nick Mullens, an undrafted free agent. The 49ers third quarterback of the year. Raiders have other problems as well. The offensive line can not protect their quarterback who has no time to throw. Derrick Carr now knows how his brother felt, David Carr, when he was used as a tackling dummy his first year. Raiders should get the first pick in the draft. Plus the other picks they collected. Will they need a quarterback by then? Might be nothing left in Derrick Carr after this season.

THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

November 1, 2018

LAST WEEK’S RESULTS: WIN

We predicted Houston over Miami. Texans routed the Dolphins for the Victory.

OUR THURSDAY NIGHT RECORD IS NOW (5-2)

TONIGHT’S MATCH UP

OAKLAND RAIDERS AT SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

Tonight’s game should be who gets better seats at the Golden State Warriors game. Whoever wins the city gets seats on court side. Whoever loses takes the nose bleed seats. This game could go either way. However I like Raiders in this contest because the 49ers have a new starting quarterback. The third of the year. He goes by Nick Mullens and he was an undrafted free agent. He still might be better than Nate Peterman. Raiders got rid of a few guys, but they still have Derrick Carr and the offense can score some points. Even a bad Raider defense should be salivating like blood thirsty zombies to take a bite out of Nick Mullens. Preserve the victory and get the good seats for those poor Oakland faithful that you’re going to be abandoning anyways. Do something nice for the Black Hole.

OUR PICK: RAIDERS

The power ranking are back. As always we have some great stuff added to the mix of the mixed nuts we have to deal with in the NFL. Most of the teams we picked out the hat to figure out where they should line up. Because it’s the NFL, one week a team looks awesome and the next week that team is horrible.

#1.LA RAMS 7-0   Two weeks ago, the Rams had a little sweat going as the Broncos showed some fight to get back in the game. These things happen all the time to great teams as if they are like an animal playing with their prey before they bite the thing’s head off.  In week seven, the Rams stayed undefeated with another victim, the 49ers.This time instead of playing with them, they just massacre them. Rams are warming up and getting ready to put it into another gear when they have match ups against the Packers, Saints and the Chiefs in the upcoming weeks. For sure, the tests to see if your team is actually Superbowl bound.

#2.NEW ORLEANS SAINTS  5-1  Mark Ingram is back giving the Saints yet another weapon in the back field. The two-headed monster in the backfield can scare many defenses in the league. The whole offense in my opinion could be the best ever assembled in New Orleans. Last week they played a tough defense in the Ravens and were able to just beat them on the road. Most of all I like the Saints defense getting their act together and they added a cornerback from the Giants in a trade to help the depth. Great teams find ways to win on the road and we know they are great at home in their dome. Now they can seek revenge on the Vikings this week who got a lucky break on a last minute play that knocked the Saints out of the playoffs.

#3. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS 5-2   The Evil Empire had help from their special teams in their win over the Bears last week. Tom Brady and the offense helped in this victory as always and beat the Bears without the GRONK. We know the Patriots have enough death stars on the offensive side of the ball and can hang with anyone. However can the mastermind, the man under the hood, keep winning games with simply a good scheme on defense? Teams are scoring on the Patriots. They are make a few stops and a few plays to help preserve the victory. Any good Rebel team will exploit the Evil Empire’s weakness and send the shot to land perfectly that will kaboom the death star for the season.

#4. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS  6-1 The Chiefs have rebounded from the Evil Empire in a game they probably should have won. Last week another prime time game and they whipped up on a Bengal team that was hurting from a tough loss of their own against their rival, the Steelers. Probably the worst place to travel if your visiting team is coming to Kansas City coming off a emotional loss. This was a huge win for the Chiefs. The way the team has been over the years, is very streaky. They would win right out the gate 5 games and then lose six games after that. One year they needed to win eight straight and got into the playoffs. Last week they shook off the Patriot loss like a wet dog trying to dry himself off and took care of business like a top team in the league does.

#5. LA CHARGERS 5-2 Picking the top four teams in the league seems easy. Now you come to a bunch of teams you can probably pick out of a hat. Not very impressed with the Chargers especially only winning 20-19 against the Titans. This game was in England. The Titans coach could have tied this game with the extra point. However he went for the win with the two point conversion and BLOODY LOST. Chargers have been winning quietly. It’s a team you scratch your head on.The talent they have you think they would be much better. Right now 5, next week who knows where they will be.

#6. MINNESOTA VIKINGS 4-2-1  Vikings had kicking woes.Then they got routed by Buffalo. People in Minnesota were probably thinking the sky was falling. Now they have set the ship off of choppy waters and have looked pretty good beating teams they need to beat. Still waiting on this dominant defense that is rumored in the league. They really only have one significant win and that was against the Eagles. If you still call the Eagles a great team. The Capital One Vikings have got to show me more against the tougher opponents if they want to be in my wallet. This week let me hear the sounds of the horn over the Saints. If they march over your defense, we will be right back to the same conversation next week.

#7.HOUSTON TEXANS 5-3   I know Miami is nothing special. The Texans looked like I thought I was going to see this team look like all season as they pummeled the fins on Thursday night. You saw a stretch of games last year from Deshaun Watson where Texan fans would jump out of your seats that good. Finally a quarterback.. Then he had an injury which is a Texan’s worst enemy. The Texans started off 0-3 and now have won 5 straight. They are mostly healthy. I like how they protected Watson on Thursday night to give him time back there, especially the injuries he is dealing with. To take a 12 hour bus ride instead of a plane to go play the Jaguars so the turbulence would not flare your insides. They have great receivers. Plus Watt and Clowney on defense are not out with season-ending injuries. Healthy, this team will stay in the top ten. Injuries and the team’s stock will fall.

#8.PITTSBURGH STEELERS 3-2-1             It’s too early to write Big Ben and Steelers off. They have won a few games before their bye and now find themselves in the thick of things. Will LeVeon Bell be traded? Can they form a two headed monster with the Terminator and Bell in the same back field? The Steelers always have problems with egos. Last year with too many good receivers not getting enough targets. This is why I do not think Mike Tomlin is a very good coach or his staff he has in place. Great coaches will find ways to use all their weapons. Example, see how the  the Chiefs, Saints and the Patriots do things. After the bye week, I’m curious to see if the Steelers defense gets better. They need it being in a tougher division with teams on the rise.

#9.BALTIMORE RAVENS 4-3   The Ravens are one of the few teams that actually have a defense so that will keep them in the top ten.They played well against the Saints last week. A fluke extra point miss could have tied the game and sent it to overtime and who knows. They could be 5-3. Joe Flacco is having a better year than last season as his new weapons have been helpful. He still seems to be looking over his shoulder at the back up quarterback who comes on the field in red zone situations. He needs to focus on his play and the team’s play and let it rip. If this is your last stand in a Ravens uniform, go out in the blaze of glory and you find another gig. Quit being a sniffling prissy queen. You have guided the Ravens to a Superbowl. What have you done lately because that was like a decade ago?

#10.WASHINGTON REDSKINS 4-2 This team boggles my mind. They can look like a crappy team one week and rise up and take you and bury you in the turf the following week. Dallas Cowboys looked like world beaters against the Jaguars. Then I’m thinking they will beat the Skins last week. However Washington continues to rise from the dead like Jason on Friday the 13th.

They have beaten Carolina, Green Bay and their Rival, Dallas. This weekend watch, the Giants will beat them. With the Eagles not singing very well these days. If Redskins can take down the Giants it could build a bigger lead in the division and confidence. Redskins need a string of victories to be in the conversation of a team on the rise destined for the playoffs.

#11.CINCINNATI BENGALS 4-3 Not giving up on the Bengals as they hit a bump in the road losing two straight. I think home cooking at Skyline Chili will gas themselves back into the thick of things. If you win at home against the visiting Buccaneers, you’d be 5-3 at the halfway point of the season. I think they still have a great defense. I think they have a great offense. Just one bad game last week. One bad game for the year actually. They will not Bumble anymore as the Red Headed slut will be on fire strutting his stuff against a bad Tampa Bay defense.

#12. CAROLINA PANTHERS 4-2 Who do you hate more on the Panther,s Eric Reid the kneeler or Fig Newton at quarterback? River Boat Ron Rivera I do love and his team showed fight last week in a comeback from behind win against the Superbowl champs. With Greg Olsen back from injury, most thought he’d walk away from the game. This gives Super Panda a much other needed target which will help this team stay strong throughout the rest of the season. I do hate the Seahawks more than the Panthers because of River Boat Ron who will always BE A BEAR.

#13. CHICAGO BEARS 3-3   Lots of things I like about what’s going on with the Bears. However they keep shooting themselves in the foot. If the Bears were carpenters, definitely they be Tim the Tool Man Taylor. They have the tools that amp up the wattage and oh boy it looks awesome. Then the tool explodes and the other team gets a gift that keeps on giving.

Hopefully key injuries to Mack and Robinson allow them to continue to play. They have some easy games coming up which they need. Help turn things around if they win them. Trubisky has improved, but he needs to hit the open guy. Plus stop throwing to Josh Bellamy because he’s horrible. If the Bears don’t make the big mistakes, they will pile up wins.

#14.DETROIT LIONS 3-3 Lions are quietly getting back in the picture. This has been a team that struggles against bad teams. Then be able to beat some great teams. They easily had a fish fry last Sunday in Miami. They have a match up they should win this weekend, against the Seahawks. They did pick up a defensive lineman from the Giants. They have a running game and you know Stafford can throw the ball. Perhaps they are listening to the Coach Patricia. Can Patricia  be the first Coach from the Evil Empire to do something  positive on their own, away from the dark side.  Or will he get picked up at some airport and be mistaken as a terrorist.

#15.GREEN BAY PACKERS 3-2-1   Oh my, how do we have Rodgers in the middle of the pack in the power rankings. Aaron Rodgers had a bye last week. Did Danica help him get his hobbled leg back together?

Do you think Danica looks like that in the morning? What would Aaron Rodgers’ insurance or business agent do if Danica winged the great Rodgers. You know Bear fans would lov to see it happen to Rodgers.   Maybe the Rams will take care of Rodgers this weekend so we could throw out the foul cheese log and not worry about the stench of the Packers for the rest of the year. Someone let Santa know what I want for Christmas.

#16. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES 3-4  It has not been a Take it Easy type of year for the Eagles. Is it time to flush the almost dead gold fish down the toilet. The Eagles are not bellied up doing the back stroke in the tank. More like swimming on it’s side. Maybe they should go back to Nick the Dick as their quarterback.

It’s probably not the quarterback play. I blame the cancer that came from Seattle. Michael Bennett. All the Legion of Boom players have gone to new teams, causing outbreaks. Look at Sherman in San Francisco. Jimmy was undefeated, Richard comes in, and Jimmy is out for the year. It did not take Michael Bennett long to ruin a Superbowl team. Any week now the flush will happen.

#17. DALLAS COWBOYS 3-4  Jerry Jones criticized his coach for not going for it on fourth down. Maybe it’s time for the coach to criticize Jerry Jones trading away a number one draft pick to the Raiders for Amari Cooper. Those are the deals that will not help your team. You’d be better off apologizing to poor ole Dez Bryant and suiting him up for the rest of season on a one year deal. Bring him some banana muffins with some flowers. He loves those things so butter him up.

#18.ATLANTA FALCONS 3-4 The Falcons are another team that has quietly now won a few games. Being at home helps and playing teams that can not fully take advantage of your Walking Dead defense. They are on a bye week after coming off a victory over the Giants. It gives them some time to get that defense healthier. Maybe after the bye they can get back in the thick of things. The offense is great, but they will need that defense to help them to crawl back into the swing of things.

!9. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS 3-3 Since Winston is using Lyft over Uber, the team has taken off a bit here. The team finds themselves with an even record at 3-3. The Buccaneers have a talented offense that can put up big points. They just need the defense to make some stops. I think this team will stay at the 500 mark the whole season. They will beat the bad teams and come across a good team and beat them. Then they will still lose games and look bad at it. They follow their quarterback’s lead. One day he has a great conversation with a woman. The next time he’s chasing the girl around the desk like something out of the old sitcom, Three’s company.

#20. CLEVELAND BROWNS 2-4-1  The Browns are a team on the rise. Baker Mayfield has the determination to win every game. His leadership skills are contagious as this guy could sell anything to anybody. Not a used car salesmen type as he will not tell you what you want to hear. The way he goes about his business on the field and his work ethic is the way these Browns will follow him as a team. This is probably the best thing to happen to the Browns since Bernie Kosar’s daughter became a porn star. The Browns will play spoilers to other teams’ hopes and dreams of making it to the playoffs. Next year you will see the team get to the playoffs.

#21.SEATTLE SEAHAWKS 3-3  With the Legion of Boom broken down and shipped off to various carnivals across the states, Seattle finds themselves 3-3. Not going to say it’s Pete Carol’s savvy coach style. I will say it is all about their quarterback, Russell Wilson. The guy continues to find ways to win or keep his team in games. He is doing it without a talented offensive line as well. Seattle has some pieces on their new defense that will help this team in the future. How long can the Elmer’s glue and scotch tape hold up until this bird drops directly into the sea and gets swallowed up by a shark. No worries, women and children, Pete Carol will jump ship before they sink.

#22.TENNESSEE TITANS 3-4  Positive things are the Titans have some good things happening on the defensive side of the ball. Stupid decision to go for a two point conversion in England instead of the extra point to tie the game and send it to Overtime. Especially since the offense has been non-existent the whole year. The Titans can only beat the teams in their division. I thought they got lucky to make the playoffs last year. I thought they got lucky when they actually won a game in the playoffs. Then they fired their coach. Sometimes teams go from dumb to dumber.

#23. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS 3-4       Just move to London already. Maybe they can take the mystery of why they are a bad team to Scotland Yard. Maybe they will come up with the same conclusion in the states. The quarterback play. Not really impressed with the defense of the Jaguars either. Maybe all the quarterbacks around the league should tell Jalen Ramsey that his defense does not scare anybody.

#24. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 2-5  I wonder these days what Frank Reich is thinking about going for 4th and 7 in overtimes against the Texans earlier in the season. If he would have settled for the tie, would Houston Texans have won five straight? Sometimes a gift wrapped up in a pretty bow and nice box could help a team’s spirits. I think the Colts are getting better. The offense is clicking. Andrew Luck looks to back to his old self. I think the wins will start to happen. They can feast on the bad teams in their division and who knows… Maybe get back into the thick of things.

#25.MIAMI DOLPHINS 4-4  Dolphins started off 3-0. Now they have come back to earth as they have been 1-4 over their last five games. The Bears gave them the game and shot themselves in the paws over and over. Osweiler has looked better than he has in years at quarterback. But this team has to find someone else to be their starting quarterback. Don’t bring back Jay Cutler. Tannehill seems too fragile. This team is not going anywhere. I think Ace Ventura has a new mission and will actually find this team a quarterback in the draft. The next Damn Marino.

#26. DENVER BRONCOS 3-4 On my bucket list, I want to attend one of Von Miller’s spooky Cowboy Halloween Parties. Do you think Case Keenum slipped a mickey in Chad Kelly’s drink? Seems too close for comfort as the big arm of Chad Kelly was being talked about by the fans and radio that they wanted him to play over Case. Since Case Keenum hardly has not been the same guy who played in Minnesota last season. Being hit in the head with a vaccum tube repeatedly as you are sitting on some strangers couch. Will this give Chad Kelly a phobia in the future about vacuuming. He might need the old fashioned carpet sweeper at his house, if he can find it.

#27.NEW YORK JETS 3-4    The Jets are an exciting team with the youngest quarterback behind center, in Sam Darnold. So far you have seen some very exciting stuff. Obviously he has some bumps in the road and is taking his share of lumps behind center. However the Jets are a team that can surprise you if you do not take them seriously. The team is going through a rash of injuries at this time. But on any given Sunday, the Jets can fly high. They are 3-4 now, perhaps 6-10 would not surprise me after year one of the promising rookie.

#28. BUFFALO BILLS 2-5   Thought we were done with the Nate Peterman experiment over there. I can not believe this kid is still in the league. He came in for the injured Josh Allen two weeks ago and threw two interceptions. That’s nine interceptions total in only 79 throws in this kid’s career. What’s going on inside the brain trust of the Buffalo brass over there? I know they make the best chicken wings in Buffalo, but come on don’t let the spice cloud your judgement. Maybe stop touching your eyes with the sauce on the wings and then evaluate the quarterback situation.  You can find someone much better on the streets. Dump Peterman, send him back to Seinfeld where he belongs selling the latest fashions in Men’s clothes. You wonder if Peterman is related to someone in the organization to have this many chances. Cats have less lives than him. Thank God Derrick Anderson is starting. But Peterman’s probably still there as the back up. In which case, we will go through this same song and dance again. Last week against the Colts the whole team regressed. For weeks the defense were playing very well. The defense looked horrible and now the Evil Empire you have to play. The Peterman play now has put a cancer in the whole team and this thing could get even uglier.If you’re a Buffalo fan, I recommend lots of drugs because you are going to need them.

#29. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS 1-6 San Francisco fans are screaming!!!!!

It’s basketball season. Now you get to beat Lebron James much more this season.

That should take your minds off the 49ers beating up on the king of basketball.

#30.NEW YORK GIANTS 1-6   Through the rumor mill, I like the idea of the Giants landing Derrick Carr from the Raiders. With all those young weapons, adding a young talented quarterback like Carr, would help this team get back on track. Eli Manning, we could ship off to Denver. Great Halloween Parties there. Can another Manning at the end of his career win a Superbowl for the Broncos? Can you imagine both Mannings riding off in to the sunset from Denver? If Eli would be successful there, he would collect his third Superbowl. One more than his brother.  This is a farfetched story and no way it will happen because Eli Manning has naked pics of the owner’s wife. So he will stay in Giant land for another ten years.

#31. ARIZONA CARDINALS 1-6  Arizona had a win over the 49ers over their back up quarterback which is not that impressive. But a win is still a win. Then they had played in some tight games. Last week, to see the Broncos come into your stadium and blow you up like that is very sad. The Cardinals have a rookie quarterback and we know they will experience growing pains.

Right now they are at the the BONER STAGE and have a lot of work to do to get their quarterback up to the Jason Seaver level.

#32.OAKLAND RAIDERS 1-5

Looks like Jon Gruden’s Raider roster are not his guys. He’s manning the the Corona line as he is slashing all prices. All players must go in a midnight madness sale before the trade deadline approaches at the end of the month. Rumors has Derrick Carr to the Giants. Absolutely a mess going down in Oakland. They looked like they had no pulse in London. The Raiders officially pulled the plug on their season after that game. Maybe the season was over after they signed old Chucky to a 100 million dollar deal that sounded like a good idea at the time. Not even half way through the season it looks like a bust. You know Chucky one was good but sequel is like Weekend at Bernie’s part two. Can the Raiders trade him again, maybe this time to the American Alliance Football league for a bag of balls or water boy? However he did swindle the Cowboys for a number one draft pick for wide receiver, Amari Cooper. Will Chucky get the last laugh as he has a collection of number ones in his disposal? We will find out as the city of Oakland will get hurt most watching crappy football then to see it turn into something special when the team finally makes it to Vegas.

We have put all of the names of all of the Meatheads from the NFL into a hat. Obviously the hat could not contain all of the names. We found an oil drum and dumped all of the names in the oil drum.

It was interesting to find Pete Carol and all of the defenders of the Legion of Boom inside the drum already. Instead of debating who is a bigger meat head each week, we will just pick out of the oil drum. To be fair we will use a boat oar to mix up the names to be fair. Because some names might not be called since the season does not last all year.

FIRST MEATHEAD OF THE WEEK: SEAN MCDERMOTT

This goes back a few weeks ago about Coach McDermott. We can even say this failed science experiment started last season. I think Sean McDermott did an awesome job coaching last season in general. To break the long drought of the Buffalo Bills not making the playoffs without a good quarterback, is awesome work. My beef with Coach Meathead is this Nate Peterman experiment. First you started him last year and you benched Tyrod Taylor who is also nothing special however better than plan B. Plan B was Nate Peterman throwing 5 interceptions against the let’s say, California Chargers, because rumor has it they might move to Sacramento in a few years. Then this season you grant Nate Peterman as your starting quarterback. Same results. Then you make the switch to the young rookie who does a better job than the guy from Seinfeld who runs a clothes company. You would think Nate Peterman would be back making cavariccis slacks, but no, he’s still on the roster as the back up quarterback. Then in a close game with the Texans, the rookie quarterback Josh Allen gets hurt. In comes Peterman. He actually guided the team down for a score to take the lead. The Texans were too busy rolling on the ground laughing at this move so it was an easy score. The next drive, a pick six. Then the next drive another interception. Has Nate Peterman been cut yet? Probably not. Nate Peterman has nine interceptions in 79 attempts. Come on Coach you are DEAD FROM THE NECK UP if you can not see it is not working. Nate Peterman is a BUST…..

SECOND MEAT HEAD OF THE WEEK: CHAD KELLY

Have you ever been so drunk you went into the wrong house? I’ve heard a story about people I know that in college went into the wrong house and used the bathroom. They realized they were in the wrong house and left without flushing the toilet. Someone got blamed the next day in that house. Chad Kelly was the last man drafted in the 2018 NFL draft. Chad is the nephew of Jim Kelly so he has quarterback in the blood. Especially Hall of Fame quarterback blood. Chad Kelly has a big arm. He was great on the field in college as he had some monster games. However he had troubles off the field. The Denver Broncos drafted him and he has moved up the charts as the second string quarterback.The starter, Case Keenum, got the big contract from his work in Minnesota. This year has not gone really well for the Broncos. As the Broncos continue to lose, the fans wanted Chad Kelly to play. I think he would have eventually got out there and started the game especially when the Broncos find themselves eliminated from the playoff hunt that could be in a few weeks. Big opportunity for Chad Kelly. However Chad did not stay on the straight and arrow. He found himself at Von Miller’s Halloween Party. He was blasted. He then left and found himself on a couch in some stranger’s house as he walked right in and plopped on the sofa. He was beaten with a vacuum cleaner tube to snap himself out of it. The Police ended up coming and arrested him. Two days later Chad Kelly was cut from the Broncos. Besides trespassing, his drinking at the party did not go well. Chad was asked to leave. Probably ushered out is my guess. Chad Kelly, you are DEAD FROM THE NECK UP….  Your inappropriate behavior off the field cost you your job. Imagine he might get a chance down the road. However you were so close to playing this year. Close to making way more money if you did well. The Buffalo Bills should sign you to replace Nate Peterman which would be a better upgrade even though you’re quite a moron. Maybe your Uncle Jim Kelly should get you in and slap you around until you see the big picture.

THE MEAT HEAD OF THE WEEK: BRANDON BEANE

Brandon Beane is the GM for the Buffalo Bills. I blame some of the team’s troubles on the Coach but this guy gets the Meathead of the week award for his part in how the Buffalo Bills look so bad this year.

First thing you did was trade away Tyrod Taylor and you had nobody better. You had only Nate Peterman. You drafted Josh Allen, your future quarterback. Then you signed AJ McCarron to a two year deal, the former Bengal back up. Do you see something strange in the neighborhood? The trio does not have much NFL experience and one guy is really bad. By getting rid of your best option in Tyrod Taylor, who could of been a great bridge quarterback for Josh Allen. I don’t think Tyrod Taylor is a great quarterback, a guy that cannot throw downfield. However he can get you a few wins. He does not make mistakes. Right now with Taylor you might be in the thick of things. No Nate Peterman getting on the field is a win right there. Then Josh Allen is learning. However Tyrod gets shipped off to Cleveland. You should have someone before you traded Tyrod Taylor. McCarron should be the man, but he gets hurt in pre-season but comes back. They think Peterman is better than McCarron and trade him. Peterman starts and you know what he did. Then you force the rookie into action. Then before Josh Allen gets hurt, now I’m talking not very long, your kicking the tires on Derrick Anderson a veteran QB. Reasons to mentor Josh Allen as he played for many years and seen a lot of action. Why so late on the veteran signing? Brandon Beane then traded some good pieces of the offensive line away and did not replace them. Now they have the worst offense in the league. He does not know what a receiver even looks like. All’s he does is sign Carolina Panthers castoffs as he worked with that organization for years. How quickly he dismantled a playoff team that gave Jacksonville a great game last year.

BRANDON BEANE YOU ARE DEAD FROM THE NECK UP….. PLUS YOU ARE THE MEATHEAD OF THE WEEK

Just in time for the Halloween season we saved the Brandon head on the plate to snack on. He is a bit scary. Ask any Buffalo Bill fan, they will tell you his moves are very scary and creepy.

THE THURSDAY NIGHT GAME (OCTOBER 25,2018)

LAST THURSDAY WE PREDICTED: WIN

Last week we had the Broncos over the Cardinals which made sense and worked out very well for us. It was an easy pick, but we all are doing cartwheels as the excitement improved our Thursday record. Now we are two games over as we are now (4-2) on Thursday nights looking for more.

TONIGHT’S MATCH UP

MIAMI DOLPHINS AT HOUSTON TEXANS

Dolphins started off 3-0. They came down to earth very quickly after that. Then the Bears, maybe for sweetest day even though it was not quite the right weekend for that fake hallmark day. The Bears gave the Dolphins a win with some tickets to the resort and some free massages by the pool side. In Chicago, we’re classy. Since then the Lions came to Miami and took care of the fins with ease.

Meanwhile the Texans’ season has been a roller coaster. They started off 0-3. Now they have won four straight. The Texans defense is playing better. Watson, besides riding the bus to the games, is not making a lot of mistakes. Houston has to protect them as inside his body, lots of organs are collapsing.  I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on the television. I’m going with the hotter team in this one and the Texans are at home. If Watson can ride a bus last weekend for 12 hours to get to the game, then they can easily gurney his butt to the Texans stadium. He’ll have more time to catch a few winks as well.

OUR PICK: HOUSTON TEXANS

Last week the Shit hit the fan.

Watching the games and seeing our predictions flop, we knew we had gone down a dark road with no headlights.

We knew the storm was coming as the late afternoon games got started. Batman could not help us. It was a bad week at the office. We went 6-9 last week.

OUR SEASON RECORD NOW IS 38-39

NO WORRIES !!! We placed a call to the Evil empire and Tom Brady let us borrow the death star cannon.

We used it on all the crystal balls we have at our offices that have been giving foolish data all year long. Totally wiped out like they never existed. We have built our new offices on the fly.

We’re in our mobile van down by the river… our temporary football headquarters with clean air. Some fresh laps in the river of sludge and we have a total new outlook in the football world. We are ready to tackle week seven and get our respect back.

SUNDAY’S MATCH UP                                                                    OUR WINNER

TENNESSEE TITANS AT LA CHARGERS (LONDON)                    CHARGERS

Another game in London which shocks me that there are no Jacksonville Jaguars. Will the Chargers build a better fan base in London or LA? Do they still have anybody from San Diego rooting for them. Hopefully the Titans can bring some moonshine to the local in exchange for warm beer. The Titans lack an offense and have no way of keeping up with the Chargers offense. The Chargers defense will have no problem shutting down the Titans offense with a regressing Marcus Mariota. I think Titans should start Gabbert to get the offense off life support. Plus then we can say an X Jacksonville player was at least part of the London game.

BROWNS AT BUCCANEERS                                                                BUCCANEERS

I hate Jameis Winston like most uber drivers dislike this man. Now that he has a full game under his belt and the Buccaneers are at home, I could see this game going to Buccaneers. I love watching Baker Mayfield as he’s a fearless leader out there. I think he will make the mistake that will cost the Browns a victory in a close shoot-out type of game. Both teams have some big weapons. I think Buccaneers offense has more options and will be hard to cover. Winston had his team fighting back late last week in the Falcon game. Buccaneers come out blazing right from the start of this contest.

PATRIOTS AT BEARS                                                                                   PATRIOTS

It will be PATRIOTS day at Soldiers field this Sunday. This go around will be different than the last meeting in Chicago with these two teams. It will not be Tom Brady and the Evil Empire putting up 50 points against the junior varsity defense the Bears had at the time. Evil Empire is firing on all cylinders as they have won three in a row. Meanwhile the Bears’ Mitch Trubisky has gotten better. However they gave Miami the win last week. Lots of stupid mistakes by the team and coaching staff. My key in this game are the Patriots just saw the Bears type of offense with the Kansas City Chiefs. I think the man under the hoodie will have an intense game plan to disrupt Trubisky. Not liking that Khalil Mack is a bit banged up. They would need him to make Brady uncomfortable. This will be a close game but Evil Empire prevail in the fourth quarter and win this by a touchdown.

BILLS AT COLTS                                                                                          COLTS

I’m doing it again. Going down a dark road as I will give you plenty of warning that I’m picking the Bills in this one. I know you’re thinking how shocking and what is this cat smoking. The Bills offense has been pretty close to dismal. However with a veteran named Derrick Anderson taking over for the injured Josh Allen, I think we will see finally something happen that we have not seen in a long time. A few scores and not just field goals. As long as Anderson does not get hurt I feel being a back up for years he is used to coming in and doing well. We do not want to see that bum Nate Peterman enter the game.  I can’t believe he’s still on the team with 9 interceptions in 79 throws and he still gets chances. Andrew Luck has been having a great year. However his receivers drop way too many balls. This is where the Buffalo defense plays into this factor as they will create turnovers and that will doom the Colts as the Bills are like Sneaky Pete and come away with a victory on the road.

TEXANS AT JAGUARS                                                                                    JAGUARS

Both teams going in opposite directions. I thing Doug Marone has declared war on the AFC South opponents

Watson is a little banged up and I think the Jacksonville defense will rise up in this contest for the Jaguars who are playing at their Florida location this week. The Jaguars acquired running back Carol Hyde from the Browns this week who will get that running game going strong again. The less things Bortles has to do, the better. Home cooking for the Jag Bags and the defense rebounding. They pull away in a close one this week.

PANTHERS AT EAGLES                                                                                 EAGLES

If the Fig Newton is the only run threat the Panthers have. The Eagles defense will contain him. The Eagles defense plays better at home. Both teams will put up some points. I like how Wentz and the Eagles offense has finally got things turned around as they were riding the short bus of struggles most of the season. Newton will not be able to match points with the Eagle offense. In the end Eric Reid and the Panthers will not be kneeling in victory formation.

LIONS AT DOLPHINS                                                                                      LIONS

I do not see the Dolphins getting lucky two weeks in a roll. Last week the Bears handed the Dolphins a gift basket win with a bow. No way Brock Osweiler will have another pretty good game two weeks in a roll. Missed kicks by Green Bay kicker helped the Lions steal the game last week against their division rival. I think the Lions defense will have a better plan than the Bears on defense and slow down the Dolphins and actually make key tackles. Stafford will use the aerial attack and pick a part the Miami secondary as Lions go on the road before a bye and come away with a victory to even up their record.

VIKINGS AT JETS                                                                                             VIKINGS

Jets put up a huge amount of points against the Colts last week. They also gave up a lot of points. The Vikings are a different animal. They have more bullets in the chamber than the Colts Receivers. They do not drop the balls like the Colts receivers either. Vikings seem like they are finally getting all their units to play well at the same time. I do not see Sam Darnold able to get all those looks down field like he did last week. The Vikings will put more pressure on the rookie and keep him contained as Vikings roll again.

SAINTS AT RAVENS                                                                                          SAINTS

This will be a great offense versus a great defense. Usually a great defense can take out a great offense. The Ravens held the Steelers to only 14 points. However the Bengals put up 34 on them early in the season. The rest of the teams the Ravens have played are not that impressive. I’m not buying into the Ravens yet. I don’t think they have a defense like back in the Ray Lewis days when he was murdering people at the night clubs. The Saints are a tad slower outdoors. The Saints offense is a well oiled machine and I can’t see the Ravens stopping a train on the tracks heading full speed at you. Flacco can not win in a shoot out either. Saints will not put up 40 points but the Ravens will not score enough points to win this one in Baltimore.

COWBOYS AT REDSKINS                                                                             COWBOYS

This used to be one of the best rivals in the NFL. However these days when both teams meet it is nothing to write home about. Last week the Cowboys erupted with 40 points on the Jaguars defense. Finally the offense that has been lacking all year had a pulse and it was pulsing at a high rate. Redskins are winning some games. You don’t know what you will get each week when comes to this team. Will you get bad Spanky old man Peterson. Or will you get a determined Spanky Peterson, a man coming off tanning some hides before kick off. The defense has these trends as well, one day Rodgers is running for his life, Charlie Brown. Then a week later Drew Brees is setting records.  I like the Cowboys who finally found themselves and are out of the closet as Ezekiel Elliot has another big game and a Cowboys win.

RAMS AT 49ERS                                                                                      RAMS

Is it basketball season yet in the bay area? Golden State Warriors are the focus by the Golden Gtate bridge. Maybe the 49ers team bus could roll off the bridge and start a total new rebuild for next year. The Rams are rolling as they are undefeated and they are not the second fiddle in their town. 49ers last week had a lead that they gave up to Rodgers at the end. Many teams have fallen for the old Rodgers come back. But if you’re not going to defend the side lines against Green Bay at the end of the game, what kind of plan will you have against the Rams? Rams will not get behind early like the Packers did. Rams win this one and make the guys from the Miami Dolphins back in the day of their undefeated year, a tad nervous. No popping the champagne this week.

BENGALS AT CHIEFS                                                                               CHIEFS

Another prime time game for the Chiefs. I like that the Chiefs are at home for this one. If they had to go Cincinnati, I probably would have picked Bengals. Mahomes finally got to play under the lights last Sunday night. He finally played in huge game against the Patriots in which his team lost. However these are good things. You played in one prime time game against the best in the business and you almost won that game. They can build on that and being at home I think the Chiefs rebound quickly and dispatch the Bengals who are probably still thinking of their last second loss against the Steelers last Sunday. Losses like that can linger for a few weeks and I see Andy Dalton will come out and make some mistakes. This game will be another shoot out but Mahomes will draw last and fire the winning shot at kooky kook Carell.

GIANTS AT FALCONS                                                                                FALCONS

This could be a great offensive shoot out. It would be like the circus as both teams will razzle and dazzle you. Will Odell Beckham Junior, the dog he is, be foaming at the mouth and have to be put down? Or will Odell Beckham erupt with tight rope catches and make this into the game of the week on Monday night. I like the Falcons at home, it seems to be their only friend right now. The Giants will score off that defense that is in shambles. However Eli Manning will make a costly mistake towards the end that every Giant fan watching at home will be screaming to make a trade to the Raiders to get Derrick Carr. Falcons by a touch down.

THE THURSDAY NIGHT GAME

OCTOBER 18,2018

LAST THURSDAY NIGHT OUR PREDICTION: LOSS

It’s a dog eat dog world when you ride a junk yard dog as your pick. For some reason we figured Odell Beckham Jr. was going to light up the Eagles. Instead they went Hotel California on the G-Men. Is the Manning Brother that did not make the NFL dressed up as Eli? I have no idea why we picked the Giants in that contest, Must have left the stove on all day long at the offices and the gas clouded our good judgment on Thursday night.

OVERALL RECORD ON THURSDAY NIGHT (3-2)

TONIGHT’S GAME

DENVER BRONCOS AT ARIZONA CARDINALS

Oh God, have Mercy. I think the NBA GAME between the Sacramento Kings and the Dallas Mavericks looks better than this match up. If only you can bring people from each team back from the past. Have John Elway for the Broncos versus Kurt Warner for the Cardinals. Now that would be intriguing. Case Keenum is still the starter in Denver. However, in his head, the fans are wanting Jim Kelly’s nephew to sling the rock. Why did the Buffalo Bills not pick up Jim Kelly’s nephew? Has to be way better than Nate Peterman. Plus you could have upgraded with a pick from the seventh round as well. Tonight’s game should be hot garbage. However somehow it might be entertaining. I like how the Broncos came back on the Rams. I think a road game may help spark a guy like Case Keenum who feels the heat from the Bronco peanut gallery. I think the Cardinals rookie quarterback is still getting used to the speed of the game. Von Miller will not help his eyesight. I have the Broncos winning by ten points in this contest.

OUR WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER :BRONCOS

We embarrassed ourselves going with the Giants on Thursday night. We admit we lost a bet.

Last week much better performance as we went 10-5 for the week.

Overall record so far, skipping week one, is 32-30…. We are all stoked over at the corporate offices that we are now two games over the 500 mark.

THE REST OF ALL PICKS FOR WEEK SIX IN THAT CRAZY LEAGUE THE NFL

MATCH UP                                                                         OUR WINNER

BUCCANEERS AT FALCONS                                              FALCONS

With both teams having no defense, this match up is the Flag Football championship. Winner goes downstate and plays this year’s Arena Bowl winner. This one should be a shoot out, but since I said that, it will be a close game. It will be a battle between kickers. A kick off. I think Falcons win this one at ,home. Matt Ryan has been involved already in a few of these shoot outs. The odds are he comes out on the right side of things. Meanwhile Winston probably will have to go with Lyft instead of Uber. Lyft now has it where you can fondle the drivers, even at a red light. Winston still knocking off the rust with only playing a half a game under his belt. Falcons come up with this  one in a close game.

STEELERS AT BENGALS                                                        BENGALS

This is a big division game for both these teams. A Steeler win gets them back in the division race. A Bengal win builds a bigger lead and pushes the Steelers towards the basement of the division. The Red Rifle aka Andy Dalton is having a great year, perhaps his best year. It’s two great quarterbacks slinging the rock in this contest. However the Bengals have a defense. While the Steelers defense improved and held the Falcons last week only to 17 points. However they are on the road and I can see Andy Dalton able to take advantage of weak secondary the Steelers have. Big Ben will keep this game close, but the Bengals will put it away late.

CHARGERS AT BROWNS                                                          BROWNS

Baker Mayfield reminds me of a younger Phillip Rivers when he first came into the league.  Not scared of anything. Instant winner. Will throw the ball in any window. Mistakes bounced off him. Rallying of the troops. The way Baker Mayfield shows poise in the pocket is something many young quarterbacks don’t ever have. Perhaps Baker Mayfield is one of Phillip Rivers’ bastard children. Probably not because he holds on to Brady Bunch and Partridge family as they all live under the same roof like the lady in the old shoe. Maybe Rivers adopted her shoe. I like the Browns winning their second game in a roll. I think a tight well fought game last week and Mayfield leading the team back is something that all the Browns felt. We have arrived and yes, we are special.

The Browns beating the Ravens last week was the team’s first division win since 2015. I think they will win two in a row for the first time since Ronald Reagan was President. West Coast teams traveling east to face equal or great competition never seem to do well. Both defenses will keep this close. I see a Phillip Rivers mistake in the fourth that the Browns take advantage of and pull out another gutsy performance.

BEARS AT DOLPHINS                                                          BEARS

Bears are facing two of their old offensive coordinators in this one. During the Jay Cutler years, the only thing the Bears led the league in was Offensive Coordinators jumping out of the high rises.  Adam Gase, the Dolphins head coach. Then Dowell Loggins, the guy who coached Mitch Trubisky last year with his training wheels play book. Oh have times changed. Mitch Trubisky coming off the biggest game ever in his young career as he torched the Buccaneers a couple weeks ago. Can that performance be repeated? Even if Mitch Trubisky goes back to his old self, the Dolphins will still have a long day with the Bears defense turning this into a fish fry early. Make sure you bring the tartar sauce for this one.

BILLS AT TEXANS                                                                BILLS

If the Browns can win two in a row, so can the Bills. Not liking the Bills offensive line as the offense has been sputtering. Especially with the Texans who have Watt and Clowny coming after the man behind the center. One thing I do like in this match up is that the Bills will  be able to force a few turnovers on the Texan quarterback. The Texans have won two in a row, both in Overtime. However both wins were handed to them. The Colts should of punted in OT, but instead went for it and it back fired in their own territory. Then the Cowboys refused to go for it on 4th and one. This should be a well fought game. I think Josh Allen makes a big throw in this one. Watching Buffalo play I have been enjoying model glue over the white Elmer’s glue when it comes to sniffing the stuff that will make any football team enjoyable.

CARDINALS AT VIKINGS                                                     VIKINGS

Good to see the Cardinals come away with their first victory last week. Hope the coach brought the team to Dairy Queen for a few scoops of ice cream. They deserved it. Meanwhile Vikings going into Eagle land and ran the Rocky steps to pull out a huge victory and much needed victory. With that big win they will not overlook the Cardinals and get beat by another Josh, that is a rookie. They take care of business and you will see all parts of their game do well in this match up and win big.

COLTS AT JETS                                                                            COLTS

Seems like every few games Sam Darnold puts up some big numbers as the Jets quarterback. He did last week to Vanilla Ice, Case Keenum, and the lackluster Broncos. This week is a different animal. The Colts only have one victory so far. However Andrew Luck has been throwing the rock and the team has been scoring points. I think the Colts will win this one even if a shootout takes place. I like the Colts defense to exploit the Jets line and give Darnold pressure and force him into making mistakes. It will be a close game but Colts prevail as long as Frank Reich is done handing out early Christmas presents to other teams.

SEAHAWKS AT RAIDERS                                                              RAIDERS

This game is in London, England. Can you picture Jon Gruden having a spot of tea with the Queen? I can see Pete Carol hugging the queen and grabbing her behind, the man is a pervert. This game will be a low scoring affair since both teams have to travel so far. I think this hurts the Seahawks more as they have a history of not doing well in further places from Seattle. If people from Vegas are watching their future team, could they back out of the deal? Maybe Chucky and the rest of black hole belong in England. Then Chargers could escape LA and move to Vegas. I think Jon Gruden will walk the streets of London and come up with a few plays to beat the Seahawks in a close game. Maybe the fog can clear out the stupidness that still lingers in his head after getting rid of Mack.

PANTHERS AT REDSKINS                                                     REDSKINS

The Fig Newton has the team at 3-1. The locals are talking about the kneeling boob they just signed instead of his own perfect self. Normally the attention would kill the man of fig. But these days it’s nice not to be bothered as he can head to the nations capital and still not be the biggest idiot in the city like how normally he is. He mutters to himself, “Thank God Donald Trump is in office.” Do you think Donald Trump and Eric Reid head to mass together? If so, do they watch each other to see if they kneel at the right parts? Eric Reid will probably stand during it to protest the communion wafers. I think Redskins win this one after being humiliated on Monday Night Football. Look for Spanky Peterson to have a huge day, kidding don’t put that bum in your starting line up. Alex Smith will outduel Superfreak and the Redskin defense will play much better than they did.  Home cooking will be the thing to turn around those embarrassing Redskins from Drew Brees’ aerial assault.

JAGUARS AT COWBOYS                                                         COWBOYS

I feel like the great Jaguar defense is not that great anymore. I know the running game is suffering without Fournette in the line up. Bortles I still know is the quarterback. The Cowboys had a troubling OT loss last week. Everyone is talking about what happened to Prescott. He does not look like the same guy from last year. I think with all that noise from last week with Jerry Jones calling out his coach and people talking about the QB troubles, home cooking and hot cheerleaders is what the Cowboys need. Ezekiel Elliot has a monster game today. It will take the pressure off Prescott in fewer throws. I think the Cowboy defense could stop the Jaguar offense. Cowboys will be in the thick of things in that crappy division. Meanwhile the Jaguars will want to move to London, England and have tea with the Queen on Sundays.

RAVENS AT TITANS                                                                TITANS

Both teams come in at 3-2 for the season. Both teams coming off losses last week. This is one of those games where you can pick the winner out of the hat. Both teams played each other last year in Tennessee and the Titans won that one. It is me or does Joe Flacco look nervous when Jackson comes in at quarterback as the Ravens first round pick?  Is it because Joe Flacco has not done much since he signed a long term deal after that Superbowl the Ravens won a very long time ago? I think the Titans will take care of business in this one and rebound and win a close one as Joe Flacco will start feeling his days are numbered in Baltimore.

RAMS AT BRONCOS                                                              RAMS

Case Keenum once a long time ago played for the Rams. Plus the Rams defensive coordinator Wade Phillips used to coach the Broncos. Just some fun facts for a lopsided match up. If you lose to the Jets these days you probably should be kicked out of the league. Vanilla Ice Keenum can’t sling the rock well when he plays a talented defense. Rams have some talent that will be coming for the Ice Ice baby. Keenum should join the Flag Football League South and play for the Buccaneers or the Falcons. This one is not even fair as Rams win in a laugher. John Elway still leads the league in big teeth. Maybe it’s time to play Jim Kelly’s nephew or at least grandma she has a cannon for an arm.

CHIEFS AT PATRIOTS                                                           CHIEFS

This is the game of the week in my book. So now this game will not turn out the way I envision. This is the Rebels versus the Evil Empire. This could be a preview of the AFC championship. I know the Chiefs are undefeated. I know the Patriots are rolling. You can see the evil mastermind coming up with a game plan to confuse Patrick Mahomes. You could see Tom Brady wanting the spotlight more than this talked about Chief team. I think the Chiefs have things to prove here. A loss will only kink the armor as they can meet up for part two in the playoffs where the game will mean everything. If the Chiefs prevail it could set the Patriots back. The loss could sicken them and stay with them a long time and feel the pressure if they meet again in the playoffs. I like the CHIEFS. They will take out the Brady trash and bring down the Death Star as Foxboro will crumble and the Boston faithful will get the feeling their football dynasty is coming to a end along with the Red Sox hopes to get to the world series. Beantown will be in a depression all next week. At least Lebron left your conference in Basketball. Plus hey the Bruins are pretty good.

49ERS AT PACKERS                                                               PACKERS

This is the game the schedule makers figure Jimmy Garoppolo would be starting. They figured the Niners would be looking good out of the gate from Jimmy’s results from last season. Things have changed in the Bay Area since the injury. It’s time for the Niner fans to get your Warrior schedules out and figure out if there is any team that can disrupt your three peat is the way to go. It is very hard to win in Lambeau Field even if Rodgers is in a wheelchair. After coming off a loss from the kitty cats in Motor City, Green Bay will roll through the Niners like they don’t belong in the league. I do like Robbie Gould making some field goals in this one as the only points the Niners get in this one.