RANKING THE VILLAINS FROM THE ROCKY & CREED MOVIES

Which villain in the Rocky universe would you not want to meet in a dark alley? Sylvester Stallone created Rocky Balboa, an underdog boxer who finds a way to win the ultimate prize in the ring: the Heavyweight champion of the world belt. In the Rocky series he made six movies and fought 5 villains. He fought Apollo Creed twice. Then Rocky became the trainer for Apollo’s son Adonis, who was played by actor Michael B. Jordan in Creed. The three movies about Creed’s son means he faces three villains. We have 8 total villains. Who was the scariest of them all? Who was the least scary of them all? We will rank all 8. Starting with the least scary at number 8 to the villain we would not do well meeting them in a dark alley.

#8. Mason “The Line” Dixon

Mason “the line” Dixon was the fighter in the last Rocky movie for right now, Rocky Balboa. He was played by actor Antonio Tarver. In the movie, Dixon was the Heavyweight Champion of the World. While Rocky was retired. Dixon challenges Rocky who retired from the sport of boxing, while running a restaurant and grieving the lost of his wife Adrian. Adrian was played by actress Talia Shire. Dixon makes this challenge because he felt disrespected as everyone still praises Rocky for what he did back then and anything “the line” did in the ring in present times. Dixon got his wish for the fight with Rocky who was out of shape. He won by split decision that went 10 rounds in a exhibition match. That’s egg on your face. Like stealing candy from a baby, this fight should have been for Dixon. The old man with the wisdom beat up the punk even though it does go down as a win for Rock, he still taught the guy a lesson who’s half his age.

#7. “Pretty” Ricky Conlan

In the first Creed movie, the villain was actually a boxer who played “Pretty” Ricky Conlan. Tony Bellew made Conlan that boxer who talks trash saying Adonis is not a real Creed. By challenging him to fight making comments like Adonis would not live up to the Creed name. It was the last fight for “Pretty” who would have to serve out a prison sentence after the match and then retire from boxing. He went out with a win. It was a decision that favored Ricky Conlan, who was shocked at how good Apollo’s son did in their first meeting. Because Adonis was better than expected and showed heart in the first match up. Being trained by Rocky gave him that heart of desire to go the distance. Adonis would get his revenge in the rematch with “Pretty” Ricky. After Conlan was released from jail, the rematch went in favor of Adonis.

Guys named “Pretty” in jail usually don’t get much yard time to box as they are too busy with other activities. I don’t see jail giving “Pretty” the benefit of coming back to the ring like a caged animal. Guys that trash talk are more talk than show.

#6. Apollo Creed

The late Carl Weathers portrayed Apollo Creed in the ring and he was sculptured like a mean lean wrecking machine. After fighting Rocky two times, Creed was never the same boxer. He was more a flashy boxer that loved the spotlight with all his nicknames. The Count of Monte Fisto, The Dancing Destroyer, The King of Sting, The Master of Disaster, The One and Only, The Prince of Punch and the Thane of Pain. Muhammad Ali was that type of guy who floated like a butterfly & could sting like a bee. Apollo helped Rocky get the eye of the tiger back, but Creed never got it back as he would get killed in the ring by the Russian Ivan Drago in Rocky IV. He was all about the showmanship dancing to Living in America with some of the best introductions ever, than being a wrecking machine. Before the Rocky fights I have to believe he was King of Sting at some point. Before he faced Rocky. He was definitely one of my favorite characters in the Rocky movies. He became an ally for Rocky as well.

#5.Viktor Drago

Viktor Drago is the son of Ivan Drago, the Russian boxer who killed Apollo Creed in the ring in Rocky IV. In Creed II, Adonis who is the son of Apollo, fights the son of the father that killed his father in the ring. Viktor Drago is played by actor Florian Munteanu. Ivan has trained his son in the country of Ukraine probably due to the embarrassment of losing to Rocky. Then Adonis is being trained by Rocky Balboa as family secrets are spilled in this reunion of sort. The pressure is on Viktor to seek his father’s revenge to challenge Adonis. The problem for Viktor is he has mommy issues as she left them after the loss. Then Viktor has to deal with his father’s legacy while learning what his own true identity is. Ivan thinks if Viktor can win that fight against Adonis, it could earn himself credibility back in the motherland of Russia. It may get his wife back at the same time.

Ivan Drago’s wife is played by actress Brigitte Nielsen who plays a part where she is not mother of the year. She is about prestige and power. Viktor looks like a guy that could mess many people up as a fighter. His confusion in life as a character with more than one chip on his shoulder might not be that scary in a dark alley, as his mindset may not be all in on following dad’s footsteps.

#4. Tommy Gunn

Tommy Gunn was in the worst movie of the entire Rocky Universe, which was Rocky V. Tommy Gunn was played by real fighter Tommy Morrison who went on to win the heavyweight title by beating George Foreman. Morrison played a guy that would not give up in his dream of being a great boxer. Tommy Gunn did not give up after Rocky Balboa said no to training him at first. Rocky would eventually train him and Tommy Gunn was on his way in Rocky V to being one of the best boxer in the sport. Gunn had a short fuse and was easily unhinged – two things in a dark alley you would not like to be involved with. Gunn would dump Rocky as his manager and signed with George Washington Duke who was the Don King boxing promoter in the Rocky movies.

Duke wanted to get Rocky out of retirement to fight his new client Tommy Gunn for the huge payday. It was Duke that got Tommy Gunn to the quicker path to land the heavyweight title as Rocky wanted to do it the right way. Tommy Gunn was living in Rocky’s shadow and did not like what the press were saying even when he did finally get the title, girl, and money. He became unhinged at the end and had a street fight with Rocky because the reporters wrote bad stuff about Tommy Gunn. Unhinged and a short fuse is why he is ranked the number 4 villain.

#3. Damian “Dame” Anderson

Damian “Dame” Anderson was played by actor Jonathan Majors. Damian spent 18 years in prison for a fight he was involved in with his friend Adonis. Damian wanted to be a professional fighter just like the son of Apollo. Adonis ran away on the day his friend would be jailed. First 18 years in the slammer with hot feelings, not in a good way. Then hearing your friend is Heavyweight Champion of the World stealing your dream. Then being abandoned by your friend. When Dame was released he still had angry feelings and pretended to be friends with his old pal Adonis. Adonis helped Dame get some training from the boxing gym he owned. Dame still wanted to be a professional fighter and he quickly made headlines beating up on a guy named Felix Chavez and using cheap tactics in the process.. Behind the scenes, he assaulted Viktor Drago who originally was going to fight Chavez. Then finally lashed out against Adonis on television to get him to be the next challenger and slowly take what he thought was his in the first place. Never underestimate a man getting out of jail with a vendetta. I think Dame in a dark alley would use whatever advantage he had or anything you had against your own self.

#2. Ivan Drago

Ivan Drago was played by actor Dolph Lundgren. In Rocky IV, Ivan Drago was the red menacing machine who you think the Russians cooked him up in a lab of some sort. Put him together with performance enhancing drugs. I think you can argue he could easily be the number 1 villain of all in the Rocky Universe. He had the hardest punch ever from a boxer. He killed a man in the ring ending Apollo Creed’s life. Even though losing to Rocky, he pretty much ended his career from aftereffects from their fight.

You have to think he was brainwashed by his own country as whatever he did in the ring was under the microscope. How much money they put into Drago’s training and top equipment to get him to that point. He was owned by the Russia and his wife that just wanted the glamor of life, the money and power in the Russian social circle. He is a huge threat in the dark alley because he has to terminate you or questions would be asked. Punishment could be hazardous to his health.

#1.Clubber Lang

In Rocky III, the Villain was Mister T and he played the character Clubber Lang. The Lang character was a boxer that wanted to put his opponents in the graveyard. If he was not a boxer, he would be a homicidal maniac. He was highly motivated to get what he wanted. He was not scared of anyone as he almost got in a fight with Apollo Creed, who was just in the ring to wave to the crowd. There to shake the fighter’s hand as he was part of the broadcast team.

He stalked Rocky for weeks until they unveiled the statue in Philadelphia where Clubber Lang made his challenge. He trained by himself & then finally got his shot at Balboa. In the first fight he knocked Rocky into tomorrow.

Rocky would lose his manager Mickey on that fight. Mickey was played by Burgess Meredith. After losing Mickey, Rocky wanted to walk away from boxing. He came back with Apollo as his manager and things changed. Even angry men like Clubber Lang have a weakness making them waste all their energy trying to knock out Rocky in one punch. In a dark alley, an angry man like Clubber would pummel you until you are no longer here on earth, and then some more just to get everything out.

MY HOLLYWOOD FOOTBALL ROSTER

Since the NFL concluded a few weeks back, I still have my football juices flowing. The month of February is the worst sports month of the year. I thought it would be a perfect time to create my football roster based on fictional characters from Hollywood. I assembled my roster using actors that have played football players on the big screen or in a television series. I took the best characters from all different decades and filled in my football roster with a coaching staff, owner, cheerleaders and a football roster. My football roster has each position filled on my offense and defense and I even included special teams. I have one movie I picked one guy from that was based on a true story. Everyone I picked has been from fictional movies or television shows.

MY TEAM NAME & HELMET

I went with the best logo I thought as my team name. In the movie Any Given Sunday, their team name is the Miami Sharks. The black colors make this team intimidating. I can also use the great phrase, ‘taking my talents to South Beach.’

MY CHEER SQUAD

In the movie the Replacements, I went with the Washington Sentinels cheer-leading squad. I guess during the football strike in the movie, not only did the players walk but also the cheerleaders. The replacements were dancers from the local strip club. Strippers go with my team being located in Miami.

SPECIAL TEAMS

On my special teams I have three kickers on my roster. On this roster we can use one as the punter. One option is kickoff and long distance field goals. Short range field goals and extra points. I could probably rotate the three of them if I want to on any game day. Whoever has the hot leg and believe me my kickers have nice legs.

KICKER NUMBER ONE

From the movie Unnecessary Roughness & who hails from Texas State Fighting Armadillos, Lucy Draper. She is my female kicker and is played by the beautiful actress Kathy Ireland.

KICKER NUMBER TWO

From the movie the Replacements, there’s my foreign former soccer player Nigel “the Leg” Gruff. He’s my smoking Jay Cutler. Has the killer nickname for a kicker called, “The Leg.” He is played by actor Rhys Ifans.

3RD KICKER

I have both genders on my roster. Now I have an animal as well. A field goal kicking mule. Gus came out in 1976 which had a loaded cast of talent as Don Knotts was the head coach in that film.

Every special teams has that player that blocks a punt, kick, or makes the most tackles.

I had to put Rudy Ruettiger somewhere on my roster. I have him on my special teams making those clutch plays on special teams. Rudy was played by actor Sean Astin and is the only character I have on this roster in a movie based on a true story about Rudy’s big moment on the college gridiron playing for the Irish. Notre Dame.

TEAM OWNER

Most of all owners in any sporting landscape suck. They are greedy. I went with the beautiful owner Christine Pagniacci who was the owner of the Miami Sharks in the movie Any Given Sunday. She is played by actress Cameron Diaz. She’s beautiful and wants her franchise to be a winner which I give her credit for. Most owners want just the money and don’t care what the team looks like. However she is a bitch as a character in the movie. She checks a few boxes at least.

DEFENSE

MY STARTING DEFENSE

CORNER BACKS/ SECONDARY

Stefen “Stef” Djordjevic from the movie All the Right Moves is a corner back on one side of the field. Actor Tom Cruise played the part and he showed all the right moves to get a college scholarship from a small steel mill town in Pennsylvania. The high school he played for in that movie was Ampipe, nicknamed the Bulldogs.

Dr. Death may have one of the best nicknames as a corner back in any movie. In the movie Best of Times, Vister Hays played the character Dr. Death for the high school Bakerfield Tigers.

Dreamer Tatum played defensive back in the movie Semi Tough. Tatum was played by Carl Weathers who was a free safety in the NFL for the Oakland Raiders before he became a Hollywood actor. Weathers looked and played the part of a solid defensive back in the 1970’s. The name Dreamer goes well with a defensive back. Former Raiders safety Jack Tatum was nicknamed the Assassin in his NFL career.

Then Ray Barnes who played for the Cougars in the series called the Playmakers. In an episode, he’s arguing at halftime with the doctor about to wrap his hand up, and saying that he did not need a pinkie to play ball. Barnes was played by actor Benz Antoine. I believe he only was on one episode of that series, but he is cemented in my secondary for playing on.

Luke Cafferty from the series Friday Night lights is my free safety. He was played by actor Matt Lauria and played for East Dillon Lions high school on the Texas battlefield of Friday Night Lights. He’s a guy that can defend the pass and bring down those interceptions.

LINE BACKERS

Alvin Mack was the best trash talker in the movies and delivered the punishment on the field. Mack is captain of my defense with sayings like “kill the quarterback” and putting the fear into the running back by saying he killed his mother. Mack was played by actor Duane Harris in the movie the Program for the ESU Eastern State University Timberwolves.

Then I have Adam Sandler who played the legendary line backer Bobby Boucher in the movie the Water Boy. Boucher played for a team named the Mud Dogs. Boucher had mommy issues he worked off on the field and became a hunter on the field going east and west as a tackling machine.

I added my second defensive member from the Cougars squad in the series the Playmakers. Eric Olczyk who plays middle linebacker for that Cougars defense. The actor that plays Eric is Jason Matthew Smith as that series would only last one season on ESPN. The network ESPN got pressure from the NFL to shut it down and they did, which was a shame. It was a great show that painted the NFL truthfully and they did not like it.

My final linebacker on my defense comes from the movie Any Given Sunday. Luther “Shark” Lavay is actually played by former Hall Of Fame great NFL linebacker Lawrence Taylor. Lavay plays for the Miami Sahrks and is one of those wily veterans doing it all to hit that final sack bonus before he walks away from the league.

WORKING THE TRENCHES

The man in the middle of the defensive line is my jumbo guy against the run. From the movie Wild Cats, Phillip Finch who looks like William the Refrigerator Perry. Tab Thacker is the actor that plays the big man from Goldie Hawn’s Wild Cat movie.

On one side of my defensive line, I have my second player from the movie Unnecessary Roughness in SINBAD playing Andre Krimm as my defensive end. Krimm “gets down and parties” for the Texas State Fighting Armadillos. He’s my guy with the best sack dance on my defense.

Steve Lattimore is my best defensive lineman and second best player on this defense next to his teammate at ESU – Eastern State University’s Alvin Mack. The actor that plays the steroid freak in the movie The Program is Andrew Bryniarski. The owner of the Miami Sharks will keep the former Timberwolves out of trouble with clean piss tests to the league.

My defense plays a 3-4 style with 3 defensive linemen and 4 linebackers. I feel good about my front 7 giving the QB everything including the kitchen sink.

MY COACHING STAFF

HEAD COACH

I’m heavy on the Sharks personnel from the movie Any Given Sunday. At the time this football movie came out I was very lucky I had two different dates during that time span and saw Any Given Sunday twice in the movie theaters. Tony D’Amato had the stellar press conferences with the media. He had the best fuck you speech I’m leaving this place for greener pastures and taking QB1 with him. He also had great speeches to motivate the team. The legendary Al Pacino played Tony D. He has been one of the best actors in the Hollywood landscape for years.

MEET THE REST OF THE STAFF

I plucked the rest of the coaching staff from the Orlando Breakers who are the same guys that helped Minnesota State’s Screaming Eagles win a National Championship on the college gridiron. From the 1990’s sitcom Coach, I have Hayden Fox as my offensive guru. I have Luther Van Dam as my defensive coordinator. Then Dauber Dybinski as my special teams coach.

THE OFFENSE

THE TRENCHES

From the sitcom Parker Lewis Can’t lose is my pillar in the middle of the offensive line, my center. Bud-Lite Kaminski is my third guy from the Program of ESU (Eastern State University.) The center of the Timberwolves O-line in the movie The program is played by actor Abraham Benrubi who has been in lots of stuff over his career. He’s going to keep these offensive doggies rolling being the guy in the middle of the O-Line.

From the sitcom Coach, Travis McKenna was in 9 episodes playing offensive line for the Minnesota Screaming Eagles. His character was named Fred Webb, a big guy that liked to eat. On game day he finds a way to play with the right weight to protect his QB.

Then Patrick Mad Dog Kelly, one of Tony D’Amato’s guys from the movie Any Given Sunday. He was played by actor Andrew Bryniarski and will be the guy that keeps that opposing defense from getting away with cheap shots. He came with the team we picked in the beginning of this article.

A guy named Guard Dog Fredericks has to be the guy protecting the blind side of the QB at left tackle. Guard Dog was played by actor Gabriel Hogan in the series The Playmakers as he plays for the Cougars. The Cougars have been another popular place where we’ve been drafting from. The Philadelphia Eagles liked guys from the University of Georgia on their defense. We have a few movies where we have multiple guys from that show or movie.

You would not want to meet a guy named the Boogey Man or Beast Man in a dark alley at night or even a day game on a Sunday. Another player we inherited from the Miami Sharks in the movie Any Given Sunday. Everyone knows the Boogey Man is also a pro-wrestler. He will not be the Beast Man in the new He-Man Masters of the Universe movie that will be coming soon to movie theaters everywhere.

TIGHT ENDS

We have two tight ends on the roster. Both blockers who can catch the ball.

He played the deaf tight end in the movie The Replacements, actor David Denman. His character name was Brian Murphy and he was a replacement player that did well for the Washington Sentinels. He was a nice target for the quarterback for big chunks of yards and a security blanket as well to make those hard first downs.

We may have more than one gay player on this roster. The only one we know for sure about is the character that played the Tight End position on the Cougars in the Playmakers. His character name was Thad Guerwicz played by actor Dan Petronijevic. In the series the Playmakers he was named as one of the all pro tight ends in the league. On the football field if he’s catching passes over looking at rear ends then we have him play, winning games for the team.

RUNNING BACKS

Al Bundy from Married with Children as you know and I know scored 4 touchdowns in one game for Polk High during his high school days on the gridiron. We have invented something like the hot tub time machine, we may call it the cold freezer time machine that we went back into time and claim Bundy off waivers after high school. Now he’s playing football for this Miami Sharks squad. Ed Harris played Al Bundy and did very well.

We are keeping the back field with the old guys. We already have Adam Sandler’s character in the movie Water Boy playing on defense. We went old school and went with the original running back from The Longest Yard in Burt Reynolds who plays for the Cons in the penitentiary. The character name in the Longest yard is Paul Crewe and he takes his running game to new levels versus the Guards.

FULL BACK

We have the best full back in the game. Tim Riggins who played high school ball for the Dillon Panthers in the series Friday Night Lights. Riggins was played by Taylor Kitsch and destroyed people blocking or running the ball on Friday nights. The man could drink some beers after the game was over because he knew where the parties were.

THE WIDE RECEIVERS

Our first and only player from the movie Varsity Blues. Charlie Tweeder will be a nice slot receiver as he played well for the West Canaan Coyotes in the movie Varsity Blues. The actor that played Charlie was Scott Caan who went on to play one of the detectives in the reboot of the series Hawaii 5.0.

Every team needs one of those wily veterans that can move the chains on those third short plays. From the movie North Dallas Forty, Phillip Elliot was a broken down veteran who continued showing up every Sunday. He would smoke, drink beer, and ice himself down after every game and practice and get the job done. He would play for the Dallas Bulls and the actor that played him was a younger Nick Nolte.

We have to show one of the receivers the money and it may as well be Rod Tidwell from the Tom Cruise movie, Jerry Maguire. Tidwell played for the Cardinals of the NFL in that movie. He was played by Cuba Gooding Jr. as he did end up getting PAID!!!

THE QB

QB 3

We went with a wily veteran as QB 3. Just in case of emergency, we break the glass and give the nod to Joe Pendleton of the LA Rams in the movie Heaven can Wait. Pendleton goes to heaven after getting killed by mistake and is sent back down to earth in another man’s body to play QB for the Rams. Pendleton is played by Warren Beatty. If his body is not working well, perhaps he can Quantum Leap into another one he could use.

QB 2

Cane is Able to be our QB 2. I promise you that Joe Kane is the last of the ESU guys from the movie, The Program. Kane reminds me of the Punky QB in Jim McMahon who helped the Bears win their only Superbowl. He drinks, has fun with the ladies. gets plowed, and does wild and crazy things. The talent is all there. Kane was played by Craig Sheffer and may have gone down as one of the best Timberwolves of all-time. That’s just an opinion because they didn’t ruin The Program by doing a sequel.

QB 1

He may have the best QB name in movie history being called Reno Hightower. In the movie the Best of Times with Robin Williams, Hightower is the best QB that a small Californian town ever saw in Taft High School, home of the Rockets. Hightower was played by Kurt Russell who looks and plays the part of a legitimate QB. He should have won the big game in high school with his powerful arm, but the receiver dropped the football that was right in his hands. He hurt his knee after the play and would never play again. No worries, we fixed his knee and he’s okay to play again. He’s a guy that plays the game in the cleanest white spikes that you would ever see. We feel like he is our true number one QB in the history of Hollywood movies and television shows. This is the guy that will lead this team to the promised land.